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Can you buy love with things?
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
I was watching a relationship program about love and there, one woman said that her husband loved her so much.
I was a bit surprised of what she would say next and what she said was, "look at this gucci bag that he bought me, he loves me".
I was a bit baffled over it, because I dont know how she thought that he loved her by him buying her expensive things, sure some might think it is love, maybe he could only show it by buying her expensive things.
What do you think about it, can you buy love with things and have you gone through something similar?
I guess that it is different for every relationship and how they feel about it  |
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Ypu can show appreciation by buying things. Or you can replace emotions with gifts.
But being thoughtful shows you care. So a gift that she always wanted or didn't know she wanted is way better than an expensive gift bought at an airport. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
No. You can try. And some people will take advantage of that.
But if its a solution to a problem then it's just papering over the cracks and likely to get you nowhere.
It also creates a level of expectation that sometimes can't be maintained.
Some people look at things that can be bought as a means to either butter someone up, or as a mechanism for maintaining happiness.
You're far better off forgetting about material things and focusing on eachother and spending quality time together.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Short answer is no you can’t
The long answer is painful
Been there
I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never
Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street
She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over
Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around
With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off
And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got
This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me
They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands
She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me
And I take her back because I love her
So the answer is no you can’t |
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Only materialistic people’s love can be bought. But they don’t love you they love your money. They love the things they can have, find one rich enough and you’ll be lavished with gifts to make him feel less guilty for fucking anything with a pulse.
The mr |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I don't think you can buy love.
I think you can express love. Demonstrate it with thoughtful gifts. We all have the love languages to varying degrees so I do think it can be shown/acknowledged.
Not bought though.
Actually, come to think of it, there are some women who love a man and one of the reasons is the lifestyle his salary affords them.
So perhaps it can be if you're both inclined that way. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
No I don’t believe you can, but if someones love language is gifts and they are quite money / brand oriented then sure they will appreciate expensive gifts.
My friend just got married. He came to Dubai specifically to find a wife and met & married within one month. They are so in love it’s contagious and recently got matching tattoos but unlikely she would have even dated him if he didn’t buy her gifts and spoil her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Short answer is no you can’t
The long answer is painful
Been there
I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never
Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street
She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over
Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around
With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off
And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got
This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me
They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands
She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me
And I take her back because I love her
So the answer is no you can’t "
 What an awful way to treat you, Natalie  |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Ypu can show appreciation by buying things. Or you can replace emotions with gifts.
But being thoughtful shows you care. So a gift that she always wanted or didn't know she wanted is way better than an expensive gift bought at an airport."
Yes, that is right, you can also show appreciation by giving a gift now and again too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Short answer is no you can’t
The long answer is painful
Been there
I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never
Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street
She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over
Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around
With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off
And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got
This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me
They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands
She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me
And I take her back because I love her
So the answer is no you can’t
What an awful way to treat you, Natalie "
Thank you  that’s why I am so broken and unfixble |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Short answer is no you can’t
The long answer is painful
Been there
I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never
Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street
She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over
Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around
With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off
And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got
This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me
They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands
She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me
And I take her back because I love her
So the answer is no you can’t
What an awful way to treat you, Natalie
Thank you that’s why I am so broken and unfixble "
I understand you feel that way, but perhaps not forever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As Meli said, perhaps it works if both partners' love language is gifts.
I've been bought large expensive gifts (a car, for example) and because they weren't bought for me WITH love, they were both meaningless and weighted with his expectations. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"As Meli said, perhaps it works if both partners' love language is gifts.
I've been bought large expensive gifts (a car, for example) and because they weren't bought for me WITH love, they were both meaningless and weighted with his expectations. "
Yes, I think it's about why it's bought. I've had some very expensive gifts over the years - some have meant a lot, others less so because they're not really about me. Or something I would ever remotely like.
Conversely, if someone takes the time to buy something they know I'll really appreciate, heck, even make it, regardless of how much it's cost, I appreciate it far more. It means something doesn't it? Like the person knows you and wants you to be happy. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"As Meli said, perhaps it works if both partners' love language is gifts.
I've been bought large expensive gifts (a car, for example) and because they weren't bought for me WITH love, they were both meaningless and weighted with his expectations.
Yes, I think it's about why it's bought. I've had some very expensive gifts over the years - some have meant a lot, others less so because they're not really about me. Or something I would ever remotely like.
Conversely, if someone takes the time to buy something they know I'll really appreciate, heck, even make it, regardless of how much it's cost, I appreciate it far more. It means something doesn't it? Like the person knows you and wants you to be happy."
Often the best gifts cost very little. My most treasured possessions are hand made or carefully selected gifts. The gift of your time & skills to make or carefully choose something is worth far more than money.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It can buy love or a part of what adds up to it. It depends how one defines ‘love’.
It can lift a partner from a situation of financial uncertainty, giving them the relief of unburdened living and choices, which in turn evokes a sense of love or being loved. It’s probably more akin to gratitude but that can be a part of love, as long as there are other factors in the relationship that make up to a whole that is love.
For the one buying the gifts, they’re not necessarily thinking that they’re buying their partner’s love. It could be more a sense of enjoying their partner’s joy because wanting to see your partner happy is a part of love.
Miles |
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"Short answer is no you can’t
The long answer is painful
Been there
I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never
Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street
She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over
Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around
With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off
And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got
This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me
They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands
She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me
And I take her back because I love her
So the answer is no you can’t "
What awful life-altering abuse you've suffered. I wanted to say I have two friends with the same experience, down to being told these *exact* phrases to destroy their self-esteem, which sadly worked, with long-lasting effects. It's when you know these things are not true, they're straight out of the manipulation handbook. You moved on, have faith in yourself. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Short answer is no you can’t
The long answer is painful
Been there
I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never
Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street
She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over
Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around
With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off
And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got
This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me
They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands
She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me
And I take her back because I love her
So the answer is no you can’t "
Yes, you are right there and no you cant do that and as you say there, it can be painful as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Short answer is no you can’t
The long answer is painful
Been there
I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never
Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street
She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over
Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around
With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off
And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got
This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me
They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands
She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me
And I take her back because I love her
So the answer is no you can’t
What awful life-altering abuse you've suffered. I wanted to say I have two friends with the same experience, down to being told these *exact* phrases to destroy their self-esteem, which sadly worked, with long-lasting effects. It's when you know these things are not true, they're straight out of the manipulation handbook. You moved on, have faith in yourself."
Thank you so much yes it has had life altering effects I am scared to let anyone in at all as I have peace’s back a little off my hart and don’t think it could take being broken again so choosen to stay single |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Short answer is no you can’t
The long answer is painful
Been there
I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never
Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street
She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over
Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around
With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off
And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got
This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me
They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands
She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me
And I take her back because I love her
So the answer is no you can’t Yes, you are right there and no you cant do that and as you say there, it can be painful as well."
Yes it can be |
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You can't buy love but you can express it with gifts definitely.
The hope is the love is real & not really due to satisfaction with the gifts.
You can buy sex but thats a different thing altogether. |
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"It can buy love or a part of what adds up to it. It depends how one defines ‘love’.
It can lift a partner from a situation of financial uncertainty, giving them the relief of unburdened living and choices, which in turn evokes a sense of love or being loved. It’s probably more akin to gratitude but that can be a part of love, as long as there are other factors in the relationship that make up to a whole that is love.
For the one buying the gifts, they’re not necessarily thinking that they’re buying their partner’s love. It could be more a sense of enjoying their partner’s joy because wanting to see your partner happy is a part of love.
Miles"
I agree, you can't "buy love" but we are physical creatures with physical needs, and looking after someone has a big element of throwing resources at them. For example "quality time" that was mentioned earlier as being the relationship builder: the more time you spend with someone the more resources you will need, suitable place (shelter), food&drink, transportation, and of course leisure time which is not material but is one of the biggest commodities. So by affording these expenses for ourselves and even covering them for others we facilitate this time together, and stand a chance of cultivating companionship & love. |
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I don't think of love as something that can be bought. It either is there or it isn't.
People have different love languages. Some people express with little tokens, some touch, some words of affirmation. I know I'm completely incompatible with people who need words of affirmation, because that's not the way I communicate with my loved ones. I also don't tend to do well with people who express with gifts, because I can't interpret the gifts in the way they're intended. Touch is the way for me.
Someone buying someone they care about nice things isn't necessarily trying to buy love. It might just be how they like to express it.
But then, some might just be fully aware of the transactional nature of their relationship, and suspending their disbelief on the approximation of love they get in return. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It can buy love or a part of what adds up to it. It depends how one defines ‘love’.
It can lift a partner from a situation of financial uncertainty, giving them the relief of unburdened living and choices, which in turn evokes a sense of love or being loved. It’s probably more akin to gratitude but that can be a part of love, as long as there are other factors in the relationship that make up to a whole that is love.
For the one buying the gifts, they’re not necessarily thinking that they’re buying their partner’s love. It could be more a sense of enjoying their partner’s joy because wanting to see your partner happy is a part of love.
Miles
I agree, you can't "buy love" but we are physical creatures with physical needs, and looking after someone has a big element of throwing resources at them. For example "quality time" that was mentioned earlier as being the relationship builder: the more time you spend with someone the more resources you will need, suitable place (shelter), food&drink, transportation, and of course leisure time which is not material but is one of the biggest commodities. So by affording these expenses for ourselves and even covering them for others we facilitate this time together, and stand a chance of cultivating companionship & love."
Very well put.
Whilst it’s possible to provide all of that without money, shelter is a base instinct in our being and if a partner feels sheltered by the other, even if it’s through financial resources, it can evoke that sense of being loved and in turn, love for the other. It may not be an instant emotion but it can come in time.
Money does ‘buy’ love. It isn’t only the physical gifts that money can provide. Perhaps not instant love but love, whether in due course or love ‘at first sight’ is still love. Whether the love lasts is another matter and can be due to other factors falling apart first.
Miles |
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"I was watching a relationship program about love and there, one woman said that her husband loved her so much.
I was a bit surprised of what she would say next and what she said was, "look at this gucci bag that he bought me, he loves me".
I was a bit baffled over it, because I dont know how she thought that he loved her by him buying her expensive things, sure some might think it is love, maybe he could only show it by buying her expensive things.
What do you think about it, can you buy love with things and have you gone through something similar?
I guess that it is different for every relationship and how they feel about it "
There are loads of women like that, WAG's spring to mind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can’t buy love although money seems to attract the wrong women who gets their claws in you and milk you dry like a praying mantis happens too often. Once they’ve bled you dry they move on and give little or nothing in return. |
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By *Cups32Woman
over a year ago
Colne |
It's typical of abusers to buy high value gifts as a way of keeping the victim onside with the mentality of 'he's spent x amount on me so he must love me.' Been there, done that. 
It might be a love language for some but for me this behaviour would make me twitchy. |
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"When did love language become such a thing? "
I'm not sure who came up with it, but I am kind of glad it's out now.
I thought it was all bullshit to begin with but it makes sense and makes it easier to understand why some people just aren't compatible... |
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" My friend just got married. He came to Dubai specifically to find a wife and met & married within one month. They are so in love it’s contagious and recently got matching tattoos but unlikely she would have even dated him if he didn’t buy her gifts and spoil her."
Forgive my skepticism, but this doesn't sound like any love I know about.
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We're completely of the opposite understanding. We don't buy each other gifts, we often don't bother with cards for birthdays etc. It doesn't mean anything to give the other a folded piece of card or a trinket. We spend time with each other, we go and do things, have experiences together and with our family. We help and support each other, through thick and thin, no question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think for some people, people can, it's perhaps their "currency of love" and that's acceptable on their terms and dynamics of their relationship.
From my personal experience, I'd be suspect of someone trying to buy my love because I'd be waiting for the impending train crash statement "you were all about the money" - ex husband following a 22 yr marriage, 3 kids and me having no fancy clothes, shoes or jewelery to support that) or "I was only trying to help you" following a 6 year relationship where it started with 4 of those years of him being unemployed, me indirectly financially supporting him a lot (he was my partner and thats what partner's do)- he dramatically changed when he came into money and I was somehow blamed for his infidelity during a period of time where my father was in and out of hospital - none of us knew my father was dying until latter end.
Me? I'd rather have someone's time, a text or a call when I'd least expect, for them to let me know they were thinking about me, a nice shaped pebble from a beach we'd walked on, silly wee things. An odd gift to show I'm appreciated is lovely too.
Sorry for the ramble! |
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I don't think so no.
Some people will show love in different ways or interpret it
that way though ie gifts/fancy stuff.
You can probably buy someone's attention for a while,but love is more than that.
Miss
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"It depends what you mean by love really.
I think you can buy it and many people do. "
Love is an intense feeling of deep affection, I,m sure true love doesn't involve any purchase of anything or at least what I feel should be love.
Maybe it does with tainted love. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Only materialistic people’s love can be bought. But they don’t love you they love your money. They love the things they can have, find one rich enough and you’ll be lavished with gifts to make him feel less guilty for fucking anything with a pulse.
The mr "
Yes, you are right there as well, only their love can be bought too |
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"It depends what you mean by love really.
I think you can buy it and many people do.
Love is an intense feeling of deep affection, I,m sure true love doesn't involve any purchase of anything or at least what I feel should be love.
Maybe it does with tainted love. "
I think there are many ways to love a person. If it's tainted it's not really love is it?
Does loving someone need to be unconditional or it's worthless? |
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All love is conditional as an adult, so you can buy it. People seem to think otherwise when in reality there is always some form of condition, whether it is personality, aura, speech, body, face, nurturing, protection or caring. There is only one difference, the currency does not have to be money, but money is a form of very concentrated resources and freedom. One downside is if both parties build themselves solely through money and gifts, if there is a great deal of power dynamic. It shouldn't be a problem of taking taking taking if you have other valuable qualities or skills to balance the power dynamic. |
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I think creating romantic situations is far better than that fancy bag or trinket. Maybe a walk somewhere or a home cooked meal (yes I know, the ingredients but it's the thought and before/after that counts). |
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"All love is conditional as an adult, so you can buy it. People seem to think otherwise when in reality there is always some form of condition, whether it is personality, aura, speech, body, face, nurturing, protection or caring. There is only one difference, the currency does not have to be money, but money is a form of very concentrated resources and freedom. One downside is if both parties build themselves solely through money and gifts, if there is a great deal of power dynamic. It shouldn't be a problem of taking taking taking if you have other valuable qualities or skills to balance the power dynamic."
Love is a complicated concept. We've been long conditioned to see it as romantic, everlasting and unconditional. |
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I think my cat loves me, he doesn't he's a cat but if I think it's love then it is...isn't it? It's conditional on me buying him stuff though, if I stopped buying him food he'd soon leave and love someone else |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"No. You can try. And some people will take advantage of that.
But if its a solution to a problem then it's just papering over the cracks and likely to get you nowhere.
It also creates a level of expectation that sometimes can't be maintained.
Some people look at things that can be bought as a means to either butter someone up, or as a mechanism for maintaining happiness.
You're far better off forgetting about material things and focusing on eachother and spending quality time together.
A"
Yes, you are right there and some could take advantage of that, it could be hard to maintain that level as you have to keep have give things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Money can't buy real love.
I don't know.... buy me some nice shit and I'll let you know if I love you x"
You've just answered dilemma "conditional" obsessed by desire for materialistic things whereas love is unconditional and requires no gimmicks, etc...
But u already know this...
Lust / Love |
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"Money can't buy real love.
I don't know.... buy me some nice shit and I'll let you know if I love you x
You've just answered dilemma "conditional" obsessed by desire for materialistic things whereas love is unconditional and requires no gimmicks, etc...
But u already know this...
Lust / Love"
I would say there is always a condition might not be money, it could be hygiene, spending habits, raising kids, food [veggie], sleeping habit these are all little daily conditions. The importance of money in society can be seen in many different ways, not just in material terms. It may also be in the form of comfort, care, health and so forth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was watching a relationship program about love and there, one woman said that her husband loved her so much.
I was a bit surprised of what she would say next and what she said was, "look at this gucci bag that he bought me, he loves me".
I was a bit baffled over it, because I dont know how she thought that he loved her by him buying her expensive things, sure some might think it is love, maybe he could only show it by buying her expensive things.
What do you think about it, can you buy love with things and have you gone through something similar?
I guess that it is different for every relationship and how they feel about it "
Actually ive bought a few things with love. Love from me to me. Importance is to love yourself first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was watching a relationship program about love and there, one woman said that her husband loved her so much.
I was a bit surprised of what she would say next and what she said was, "look at this gucci bag that he bought me, he loves me".
I was a bit baffled over it, because I dont know how she thought that he loved her by him buying her expensive things, sure some might think it is love, maybe he could only show it by buying her expensive things.
What do you think about it, can you buy love with things and have you gone through something similar?
I guess that it is different for every relationship and how they feel about it "
Some go down that route of financial security..reward ..gifts ..some guys think it's the only way to express their love for women ..and some women want that financial freedom..it's just the way it is . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Were you taking the edited content in context of their relationship/ history or literally/ as per the narrative of the show? Taking 1 act/purchase as a reference, hard to say either way if love was involved or not.
I think the question is phrased in a loaded manner which invokes both extremes.
Some people use money, material items & gifts to abuse others, whether it's love bombing with flashy stuff (masking the lack of love) or expecting material things from a partner (buyable love).
But in loving relationships people also buy small & large things as gifts or gestures on occasion, as part of many expressions of love, along side the myriad of other things that work for them personally.
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"Short answer is no you can’t
The long answer is painful
Been there
I loved her so anything’s she wanted she got no matter how much it cost even though I was told off people that she was only use me should have seen it sooner but never
Use to look in to her eyes and tell her the house the car the zoo we had because she wanted pets fancy nights away luxury bag’s clothes and everything didn’t matter to me as long as I had her I could live on the street
She would always turn and say it dose to me though “ding ding red flag alarm bells should have been going off in my head” but nope I was so in love that I didn’t see it didn’t see the toxicness till it was all over
Then when we split the real hurt came as a video got shared around
With some guy she casual hooked up with asking her why she was going with me as she blow him off
And the words she sed I hate him was only ever there for money I cheated on him every chance I got
This was on top off the abuse the telling me that if she leaves me no one will love me that I am ugly that not even my own parents love me
They thanked her when I movied out she told me that they told her that they had lifted a burden off they hands
She also told me one day she will leave me shag everone around the place and then come back to me
And I take her back because I love her
So the answer is no you can’t "
Oh Natalie... that's an awful way to be treated you deserve so much better xx |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Shag ...... what is love to you is not necessarily the kind of love a Gucci worshiping woman wants.
If getting a Gucci is love to her then it's love. "
Yes, you are right there too, that love means different things to everyone as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think my cat loves me, he doesn't he's a cat but if I think it's love then it is...isn't it? It's conditional on me buying him stuff though, if I stopped buying him food he'd soon leave and love someone else"
Hi.
True mine dribbles and nudges me to tell me she loves me. If only for me to feed her. |
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Buying a Gucci watch us easy if you have the money. What shows love are the presents that are really geared to the person they are for and show thought, imagination and understanding of what they like.
For example I took Hannah to lunch at a place I wouldn't tell her what it was beforehand. As we sat eating at a bog-standard café in south London, she was baffled. But she is a massive A-ha fan. I showed her the video for Take On Me and she realised she was sitting in the café where it was filmed. She loved it!
That sort of thing is more special than buying a Gucci watch. |
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"Buying a Gucci watch us easy if you have the money. What shows love are the presents that are really geared to the person they are for and show thought, imagination and understanding of what they like.
For example I took Hannah to lunch at a place I wouldn't tell her what it was beforehand. As we sat eating at a bog-standard café in south London, she was baffled. But she is a massive A-ha fan. I showed her the video for Take On Me and she realised she was sitting in the café where it was filmed. She loved it!
That sort of thing is more special than buying a Gucci watch. "
You did that because you love her not to try to make her love you. I'm sure she'd love you even if you hadn't done it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was watching a relationship program about love and there, one woman said that her husband loved her so much.
I was a bit surprised of what she would say next and what she said was, "look at this gucci bag that he bought me, he loves me".
I was a bit baffled over it, because I dont know how she thought that he loved her by him buying her expensive things, sure some might think it is love, maybe he could only show it by buying her expensive things.
What do you think about it, can you buy love with things and have you gone through something similar?
I guess that it is different for every relationship and how they feel about it "
Hi op
I was bought an engagement ring £1k ring. That ring I chose. He loved me. He was not rich but was rich in love.
I work in a charity shop. We get top branded stuff donated. People love the charity enough to donate.
I love myself, I buy things for me even a gucci bag if one lands in charity shop. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I think creating romantic situations is far better than that fancy bag or trinket. Maybe a walk somewhere or a home cooked meal (yes I know, the ingredients but it's the thought and before/after that counts)."
Yes, you are right there, romantic situations are better as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Money can't buy real love.
I don't know.... buy me some nice shit and I'll let you know if I love you x
You've just answered dilemma "conditional" obsessed by desire for materialistic things whereas love is unconditional and requires no gimmicks, etc...
But u already know this...
Lust / Love
I would say there is always a condition might not be money, it could be hygiene, spending habits, raising kids, food [veggie], sleeping habit these are all little daily conditions. The importance of money in society can be seen in many different ways, not just in material terms. It may also be in the form of comfort, care, health and so forth."
Break away from attachment and then it becomes pure. Not at all easy to do. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I was watching a relationship program about love and there, one woman said that her husband loved her so much.
I was a bit surprised of what she would say next and what she said was, "look at this gucci bag that he bought me, he loves me".
I was a bit baffled over it, because I dont know how she thought that he loved her by him buying her expensive things, sure some might think it is love, maybe he could only show it by buying her expensive things.
What do you think about it, can you buy love with things and have you gone through something similar?
I guess that it is different for every relationship and how they feel about it
Hi op
I was bought an engagement ring £1k ring. That ring I chose. He loved me. He was not rich but was rich in love.
I work in a charity shop. We get top branded stuff donated. People love the charity enough to donate.
I love myself, I buy things for me even a gucci bag if one lands in charity shop. "
Hi becs, that is good and it is good to be rich in love too |
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