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Keeping it to forums…
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.
So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It has! I've spoken to so many and met a few just off the back of them starting conversations because of a forum thread.
I get why it's a pain for women which is why I rarely stray from them to message them, but for guys it can be amazing to chat to people in a certain topic or get to know them that we can't do just firing off cold messages to local profiles  |
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"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.
So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums? "
I've got new friends |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Only the occasional nice message.
I once had a lovely message via the forums from a chap who responded to a post I had made and it was helpful, supportive and just lovely. Not sexual, not trying to get anything out of the conversation for himself just passing on some helpful advice.
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.
"
Can someone explain this ? I understand the words ok but the reply privately button is there for a reason and I like it , a lot. Both ways.
So I’m lost ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t mind too much as long as it isn’t creepy but I don’t understand people who start a thread and then reply privately to people. Surely you start a thread for engagement and discussion. |
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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago
The dot in the i |
"Creeps me out when people who don't join the thread make a personal contribution to you ..... generally they are nicknames you've never seen before "
This! It’s why I don’t post half of what I want to |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.
So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums? "
of course it has people message all the time quoting the thread comments, so yes is the answer  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Yep.
Apart from the lovely messages of support and people checking in which means a lot.
Anyway - I wrote a rather raunchy thread about a certain thing that occurs during sex. It soon filled up but there was one poster who was being rather pedantic. Irritatingly so. I enjoyed it though, that mental tussle. I normally hate people messaging off the back of those types of threads because I've said what I've said and nope, don't want to do it with you.
I was the person who messaged him.
That annoying person.
He's still a friend months later. |
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Yes, several times in fact.
I've had women message me either through a thread that I've created or a post that I've made. Some were participants in the thread and others were lurkers who hadn't taken the plunge to debate openly in the forå.
Everything engagement through this method has been a positive one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For the most part yes also I normally do even if I am charming someone I don’t mind doing it in the public eye as it’s not anything dirty or bad or anything so don’t really mind it being seen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For the most part yes also I normally do even if I am charming someone I don’t mind doing it in the public eye as it’s not anything dirty or bad or anything so don’t really mind it being seen "
Also understand that some matters keep private I don’t mind a regular formite messageing me |
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I'll start conversations off a thread, but rarely one I haven't engaged in. I respect it if the message isn't answered and I hope it's not in a creepy way.
I value the conversations. When my filters allowed it, though, there was a clear difference between "I'm starting a conversation from this forum thread" and "mmm babe u into (insert kink here) I gonna meet you". |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
They key is context and intent of the message. If its to say something that could easily have been said on the forum and specific thread, that's one thing.
But if its to share a specific experience or offer a form of support, or to not fully derail a thread it's fine. Of course it's not always going to be welcome with everyone.
It is not always going to be a way to slide in to DMs. I'm not ashamed to say I've done it (and had it done to me). The times I have done it have always been positive both in my message and the reply. Some even leading to consistent messaging or a meet. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Creeps me out when people who don't join the thread make a personal contribution to you ..... generally they are nicknames you've never seen before "
This I think is the worst. One thing to be just a lurker. But not previously being part of the thread to then slip in to private messages is something else. |
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Y’know what I get sometimes that I just think is a bit off?
Messages from single male accounts replying to something I’ve said in a forum thread and sending me photos of ‘their wife’.
Say there’s a thread about tits. And I post something saying how much I do indeed like tits. And then some random bloke sends me a message saying ‘My wife has massive tits here’s five photos of them’.
I don’t get it. Why would you do that? I didn’t ask for them. And your wife - if she is your wife - hasn’t consented to you sharing her tits with strangers, has she? On your single male account on this swingers website … |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Y’know what I get sometimes that I just think is a bit off?
Messages from single male accounts replying to something I’ve said in a forum thread and sending me photos of ‘their wife’.
Say there’s a thread about tits. And I post something saying how much I do indeed like tits. And then some random bloke sends me a message saying ‘My wife has massive tits here’s five photos of them’.
I don’t get it. Why would you do that? I didn’t ask for them. And your wife - if she is your wife - hasn’t consented to you sharing her tits with strangers, has she? On your single male account on this swingers website …"
Noted! Don't send Rose any tits! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Creeps me out when people who don't join the thread make a personal contribution to you ..... generally they are nicknames you've never seen before
This! It’s why I don’t post half of what I want to "
#metoo say it in the thread or not all. But I don’t mind the winks I get from regular forumites if I’ve quoted them, giving me a chance to take it further if I wish |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Y’know what I get sometimes that I just think is a bit off?
Messages from single male accounts replying to something I’ve said in a forum thread and sending me photos of ‘their wife’.
Say there’s a thread about tits. And I post something saying how much I do indeed like tits. And then some random bloke sends me a message saying ‘My wife has massive tits here’s five photos of them’.
I don’t get it. Why would you do that? I didn’t ask for them. And your wife - if she is your wife - hasn’t consented to you sharing her tits with strangers, has she? On your single male account on this swingers website …"
Bit of a long winded way of saying you wants tits in your inbox but ok. |
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"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.
So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums? "
Only if it was invited or they approached in a way they would do if they just saw me on a search! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.
Can someone explain this ? I understand the words ok but the reply privately button is there for a reason and I like it , a lot. Both ways.
So I’m lost ?
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I agree with you on this, apart from the creepy ones. |
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As with all messages and messages there are some that are appropriate, polite and you don't mind getting and others where the delete button can't be clicked quick enough.
I have messaged directly, but usually after contributing to the chat.
And I have some good connections from approaches (in both directions) from forum direct replies. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.
Can someone explain this ? I understand the words ok but the reply privately button is there for a reason and I like it , a lot. Both ways.
So I’m lost ?
"
Personally I wish there wasn't a reply privately button...
99% of messages I get from people who have used that button are the forum equivalent of FAF...
For example... Let's say I post on a thread about... Anal play, I'll get 2 or 3 messages along the lines of:
"Oh I like anal play too, i'll do anal with you"
I can guarantee you that none of them will have referenced (or god forbid) linked to a forum post so I know what the hell they are talking about.
One in a hundred times I might get something like...
"I want to try anal play but I'm scared it will make me gay"
Now honestly, my reaction to this is twofold. I'm aware it's often a genuine question and concern... I'm also aware my rant about patriarchy, toxic masculinity and the sexual repression of men is probably not actually that helpful in that moment.
Here I'm likely to go with
"If you're thinking that others might feel the same. The simple answer is no it doesn't make you gay... But if you ask on the forum then myself and others could discuss that topic with you (and anyone else wondering the same thing).. the forum is a out sharing information, be that helpful sexy time hints, or what you had for dinner." |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.
So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums? "
Yep.
The majority of messages off the back of threads are just people unwilling to share an opinion or view publicly, or of course to tell you you're wrong.
But over the years they've led to some good chats, some social meets and indeed some fun.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t mind it on the whole.
It’s when people use it as a tool to be bitchy because they’ve not got the balls to make their comments in public that I find it somewhat pathetic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, I've had some positive interactions. But most have been (when you boil down to it) FAF. And it's just creepy when they sliiiiide into your dms that way.  |
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I have, and do, sometimes message people with comments or questions related to the thread, but which seem better suited to private conversation. Almost always though people that I've either previously talked with, or that have engaged with me across multiple threads. Occasionally people that are requesting private response due to the nature of the topic. I wouldn't be sending an unsolicited "hey babe faf?" - unless of course that was the specific topic of the thread!
Over the years I've made a few very good friends which started through side comments about forum threads... |
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"I’ve had it a few times when I do the tits out Tuesday thread. It’s mainly men sending me pictures of their “wife’s” tits.
I just take it with a pinch of salt and don’t think anymore of it"
See? It’s not just me … |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had it a few times when I do the tits out Tuesday thread. It’s mainly men sending me pictures of their “wife’s” tits.
I just take it with a pinch of salt and don’t think anymore of it"
You’ve cracked the code to tits in the inbox. Respect  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't stand it when people that aren't on the thread send a private reply to me.
Forumites replying privately I don't mind at all.
But the lurkers creep me out and I'll post on the thread 'keep it on the thread' because the lurkers creep me out. |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
I've made some good friends from msgs from the forums, as has already been said msgs from lurkers are a bit annoying, but like any msgs on here I'll either reply or ignore so they don't bother me too much. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"I’ve had it a few times when I do the tits out Tuesday thread. It’s mainly men sending me pictures of their “wife’s” tits.
I just take it with a pinch of salt and don’t think anymore of it
You’ve cracked the code to tits in the inbox. Respect "
If you wanted tits in your inbox you only needed to have asked me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people seem to struggle with the concept of keeping it to the forums.
So i’m curious has anything positive - a meet, new friend etc ever occurred from not keeping it to the forums? "
Nope. Many i encourage with safety in mind too., have a voice chat,see how the vibe goes. Then arrange a drink in sheer public!
Zero!' |
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I have a couples profile with my fab bestie who I met as a direct result of her not keeping it to the forums.
I always laugh though on contentious threads when someone claims to have received lots of private support from those afraid to post openly.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't stand it when people that aren't on the thread send a private reply to me.
Forumites replying privately I don't mind at all.
But the lurkers creep me out and I'll post on the thread 'keep it on the thread' because the lurkers creep me out."
Same here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had a few good inboxes from forum posts and nice chats but generally it's creeps, I've learned never to comment on a small cock post ever again.
Mrs "
The wife chat ones are the worst. Post a joke in there and you still get messages 18 months later. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, we have met a couple a couple of times after they messaged us, having seen us comment on a forum post. Great fun and we still keep in touch off Fabs
Mrs Y |
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"I've had a few good inboxes from forum posts and nice chats but generally it's creeps, I've learned never to comment on a small cock post ever again.
Mrs
The wife chat ones are the worst. Post a joke in there and you still get messages 18 months later."
Haha I bet, I actually commented on one of those asking my usual awkward questions of "what do you actually talk about" I was supprised at some of the inboxes off the back of that one.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had a few good inboxes from forum posts and nice chats but generally it's creeps, I've learned never to comment on a small cock post ever again.
Mrs
The wife chat ones are the worst. Post a joke in there and you still get messages 18 months later.
Haha I bet, I actually commented on one of those asking my usual awkward questions of "what do you actually talk about" I was supprised at some of the inboxes off the back of that one.
Mrs "
Surprised must be the polite way to say it |
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"I’ve had it a few times when I do the tits out Tuesday thread. It’s mainly men sending me pictures of their “wife’s” tits.
I just take it with a pinch of salt and don’t think anymore of it
You’ve cracked the code to tits in the inbox. Respect "
Queue 30 TOT threads next week  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve had it a few times when I do the tits out Tuesday thread. It’s mainly men sending me pictures of their “wife’s” tits.
I just take it with a pinch of salt and don’t think anymore of it
You’ve cracked the code to tits in the inbox. Respect
Queue 30 TOT threads next week "
I’ve already got 6 ready to go on burner accounts. |
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I think as long as you're polite and stay on topic, then it's not such a bad thing, but there's always the exception.
I can imagine the amount of dross people can spout off into your inbox when it's unwarranted. |
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No,on my single profile if I comment I usually only get blokes who don't post,being creepy.
We have occasionally had a couple contact us ,when we've posted on this profile.Sometimes that's the bloke wanting to start some kind of dirty chat too though.
I don't mind if someone messages a relevant comment though ,rather than just looking for cheap thrills .
Miss |
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» Add a new message to this topic
The forum makes it too easy to 'Reply Privately'.
It should be a user configured option, either for all posts, or set per topic. 
it's brilliant, telling me much I will struggle etc etccc.
I leave them on read 
