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The Invictus Valentines Day Boyfriend Experience
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
Following on from the vast success of the 'Invictus Boyfriend Experience' I thought it might me worth offering a new service...
The Invictus Valantines Day Boyfriend Experience.
Your day would begin by being poked in the back in the early hours of Friday morning and finding my tongue in your ear before I whisper sweetly 'morning love, it's Valentines day - get yer nightie off, it's a guranteed shag day!' before you are treated to a swift boob grope and 2 minutes of frantic humping before I leap out of bed.
After ten minutes of listening to me singing and farting in the bathroom I would reappear with a tepid coffee you could carry in a net, some burnt toast with a thimble full of butter and a half dead red rose shoved artfully in a an old beer can. All presented with a ta-da! and half splilt on the duvet.
After giving you a big wet kiss and exploring your tonsils with my tongue I will grab your boobs again with the loving words 'keep 'em warm for later baby! Honk honk!' before heading off for work, leaving a box wrapped in newspaper on the end of the bed and a hastily scrawled card you recognise from the local garage.
Hardly able to contain your excitement you would open the box to find a note scrawled in crayon reading 'sumfing for laters baby' and discover a skimpy maids outfit from Tescos that is probably at least two sizes too small and made of some weird fabric that itches badly.
Barely able to contain your excitement for later you will get on with your day in a haze, wondering what delights await you in the evening...
Now don't all rush at once ladies. Try and keep calm  
Invictus. |
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
"Hmmmmm after much deliberating I think I'll pass on this experience ta   "
Don't feel bad. I understand. Some women would clearly just end up falling hopelessly in love with me after such an experience |
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
"I preferred your last experience, this one seems to have gone right downhill. "
Well there is a whole range of evening stuff planned as well. Lambrini, flowers from the cemetey and an elephant shaped thong being a few highlights  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"....... I'm holding out for a hero ......
We established I was one yesterday when I saved the Forums from a continuum leak.
Just sayin' "
.... well sign me up for the full Vicki boi valentines extravaganza. |
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No! I paid £3.50 for the translation service of a 'come hither' message directed at the lone Serbian women on here. Not even a whistle.
I paid out another £6 odd for the 'bi lone female' experience, went to the agreed bar. And guess what? A text saying 'fuck off steve and stay in Brighton'. This was extra disappointing as I was only just over the border into Hove.
I've paid 'in kind' for the 'mega big boy grow and show guaranteed penile developer' as used by the equestrian society....all I got was a balloon through the post.
I paid £2.56 for a place in line at a 'top totty tits teeth and topless' gangbang in Slough. Nope, address was a fish n chip shop.
 |
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
"....... I'm holding out for a hero ......
We established I was one yesterday when I saved the Forums from a continuum leak.
Just sayin'
.... well sign me up for the full Vicki boi valentines extravaganza. "
Your're on baby! wow! You are one lucky lady. Just send me the money for a forst class return and another £59.99 and I'll book you in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"....... I'm holding out for a hero ......
We established I was one yesterday when I saved the Forums from a continuum leak.
Just sayin'
.... well sign me up for the full Vicki boi valentines extravaganza.
Your're on baby! wow! You are one lucky lady. Just send me the money for a forst class return and another £59.99 and I'll book you in. "
Cheque's out there in the ether .......  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I preferred your last experience, this one seems to have gone right downhill.
Well there is a whole range of evening stuff planned as well. Lambrini, flowers from the cemetey and an elephant shaped thong being a few highlights "
I'm sorry but if you're bringing out such quality items as Lambrini then you're clearly making too much effort. It's actually got alcohol in it! You're setting the bar way too high for yourself for future offers. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Isn't Valentines Day on Thursday this year? 
Erm, erm.... oh yeah! That's part of the experience. All the stuff is cheaper the next day...  "
LOL, you're beginning to sound like one of my exes.  |
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
"Isn't Valentines Day on Thursday this year?
Erm, erm.... oh yeah! That's part of the experience. All the stuff is cheaper the next day...
LOL, you're beginning to sound like one of my exes. "
A lot of you ladies said that on my 'Boyfriend Experience' thread before  Are some blokes really that bad?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like my ex hubby everything u said ......glad this year im getting a belated valentines day present .....divorce is going in.front of judge on 15 th lol x |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Isn't Valentines Day on Thursday this year?
Erm, erm.... oh yeah! That's part of the experience. All the stuff is cheaper the next day...
LOL, you're beginning to sound like one of my exes.
A lot of you ladies said that on my 'Boyfriend Experience' thread before Are some blokes really that bad?! "
Yes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think your experience sounds like a dream come true... how many ladies you got lined up??
Approximate numbers or exact? "
Exact please  I would like to know my place in the queue. |
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
"Isn't Valentines Day on Thursday this year?
Erm, erm.... oh yeah! That's part of the experience. All the stuff is cheaper the next day...
LOL, you're beginning to sound like one of my exes.
A lot of you ladies said that on my 'Boyfriend Experience' thread before Are some blokes really that bad?!
Yes! "
I should be fighting you all off with sticks then |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Isn't Valentines Day on Thursday this year?
Erm, erm.... oh yeah! That's part of the experience. All the stuff is cheaper the next day...
LOL, you're beginning to sound like one of my exes.
A lot of you ladies said that on my 'Boyfriend Experience' thread before Are some blokes really that bad?!
Yes!
I should be fighting you all off with sticks then "
You are!  |
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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago
Beeston |
"I'm still waiting on delivery of the Genuine Boyfriend Experience I booked last year."
Then you've booked a rip off version, madam. Mine was the Invictus Boyfriend Experience.
You've been had I'm afraid |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Following on from the vast success of the 'Invictus Boyfriend Experience' I thought it might me worth offering a new service...
The Invictus Valantines Day Boyfriend Experience.
Your day would begin by being poked in the back in the early hours of Friday morning and finding my tongue in your ear before I whisper sweetly 'morning love, it's Valentines day - get yer nightie off, it's a guranteed shag day!' before you are treated to a swift boob grope and 2 minutes of frantic humping before I leap out of bed.
After ten minutes of listening to me singing and farting in the bathroom I would reappear with a tepid coffee you could carry in a net, some burnt toast with a thimble full of butter and a half dead red rose shoved artfully in a an old beer can. All presented with a ta-da! and half splilt on the duvet.
After giving you a big wet kiss and exploring your tonsils with my tongue I will grab your boobs again with the loving words 'keep 'em warm for later baby! Honk honk!' before heading off for work, leaving a box wrapped in newspaper on the end of the bed and a hastily scrawled card you recognise from the local garage.
Hardly able to contain your excitement you would open the box to find a note scrawled in crayon reading 'sumfing for laters baby' and discover a skimpy maids outfit from Tescos that is probably at least two sizes too small and made of some weird fabric that itches badly.
Barely able to contain your excitement for later you will get on with your day in a haze, wondering what delights await you in the evening...
Now don't all rush at once ladies. Try and keep calm
Invictus. "
I have copied this and presented it to a certain person... wonder if said person will take the advice given |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Following on from the vast success of the 'Invictus Boyfriend Experience' I thought it might me worth offering a new service...
The Invictus Valantines Day Boyfriend Experience.
Your day would begin by being poked in the back in the early hours of Friday morning and finding my tongue in your ear before I whisper sweetly 'morning love, it's Valentines day - get yer nightie off, it's a guranteed shag day!' before you are treated to a swift boob grope and 2 minutes of frantic humping before I leap out of bed.
After ten minutes of listening to me singing and farting in the bathroom I would reappear with a tepid coffee you could carry in a net, some burnt toast with a thimble full of butter and a half dead red rose shoved artfully in a an old beer can. All presented with a ta-da! and half splilt on the duvet.
After giving you a big wet kiss and exploring your tonsils with my tongue I will grab your boobs again with the loving words 'keep 'em warm for later baby! Honk honk!' before heading off for work, leaving a box wrapped in newspaper on the end of the bed and a hastily scrawled card you recognise from the local garage.
Hardly able to contain your excitement you would open the box to find a note scrawled in crayon reading 'sumfing for laters baby' and discover a skimpy maids outfit from Tescos that is probably at least two sizes too small and made of some weird fabric that itches badly.
Barely able to contain your excitement for later you will get on with your day in a haze, wondering what delights await you in the evening...
Now don't all rush at once ladies. Try and keep calm
Invictus. "
An offer that shoudnt be refused |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm still waiting on delivery of the Genuine Boyfriend Experience I booked last year.
Then you've booked a rip off version, madam. Mine was the Invictus Boyfriend Experience.
You've been had I'm afraid "
Or not, as the case may be! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Following on from the vast success of the 'Invictus Boyfriend Experience' I thought it might me worth offering a new service...
The Invictus Valantines Day Boyfriend Experience.
Your day would begin by being poked in the back in the early hours of Friday morning and finding my tongue in your ear before I whisper sweetly 'morning love, it's Valentines day - get yer nightie off, it's a guranteed shag day!' before you are treated to a swift boob grope and 2 minutes of frantic humping before I leap out of bed.
. "
This offer is clearly a con!!
.
.
.
.
.
There's no way you last 2 minutes! |
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