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Cutting contact with someone who has caught feelings with you
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Following on from 2cool4schools thread.
If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?
Personally, I would and could do so easily 
F |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.
If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?
Personally, I would and could do so easily
F"
If it it was unrequited? Yes.
If it was mutual? No. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you don’t like someone and know they like you then you gotta do what’s gonna stop the pain and be honest. Cut the contact if you have to. Grow a backbone. |
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Actually did happen to me I met a wonderful woman from here became her submissive which we both enjoyed and one day she decided to tell me that she had started falling deeper for me at that time I wasn't interested in a relationship in the end it was a difficult choice but had to cut ties she then left the site and moved away I do look back and wonder what might have been but also I hope she found someone who loved her |
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By *mf123Man
over a year ago
with one foot out the door |
I wont allow emotion again so wont get close enough to care so easy for new people im still to manage it 3 years on from my past tho i dont think il ever manage it either why you may ask probly because i dont want to iv had my happiness in my life i dont need anyone else to dilute its magic to me and make it feel less than what it was
So il stay here unatainable waiting for my next life where i get to cash in the I.O.U im owed by that sacrifice and focus on other aspects of my life than emotion 
I dont abandon people i truly care about to fate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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100%. Although I don’t have sex with others I still chat and make friends with people (mostly from the forums). If I felt someone was getting attached I’d explain how I feel and then cut off contact. If they were a forum user I’d probably avoid the forums for an extended period of time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely. My husband is my first priority and I make it clear to anyone before meeting them that I’m not interested in forming that kind of a relationship with anyone else. Cutting them off is probably best for everyone involved. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
If they didn't want anything to change I wouldn't need to cut contact.
If they started talking about meeting my family and moving in together I'd tell them it's not happening; even if I had deep feelings of love for them. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Depends what I was feeling at the time, currently I'm not looking for somebody long term on here.
I was once unsure of feelings but went with them, the other person was 100% in quite early. Got in a bit deep and realised it wasn't for me, so had to make that known. Looking back I'd have to cut ties early on at least while I know I'm not looking for that.
If I were in the mindset of it myself, then I'd see how it plays out. That is very unlikely to be the case with fab however. |
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"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.
If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?
Personally, I would and could do so easily
F"
Honestly, depends.
Being poly I'm open to lots of different sorts of relationships.
However, if I thought it was toxic or would damage other relationships then could absolutely shut someone out of my life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As has been said before, I'd have an adult conversation with them about it.
What one person perceives as feelings might not be what another perceives. Setting boundaries and communicating is important. |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.
If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?
Personally, I would and could do so easily
F"
Feelings after just a chat is a bit weird so I’d definitely walk away.
If on contrary it someone I have few meets I’ll talk it through. I see it as a bit childish to run away or ghost someone on some assumption they have feelings. Having connection is great. I don’t have space and time in my heart nowadays for true love but you never know for sure till you have adult conversation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.
If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?
Personally, I would and could do so easily
F"
Tbh it depends, I am open to a relationship with someone I either meet on here or in real life
If the feeling was mutual or I thought there could be something between us then I wouldn't want to cut contact
If the feeling wasn't mutual, I would hope they would be mature enough to cut contact themselves instead of waiting/expecting me to do it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Feelings can happen. I guess it's about understanding what the feelings are and if they are reciprocated.
I like feelings but I've experienced enough unrequited love to last me a life time, so I'd want to ensure I don't inflict that pain on someone else.
Much talking, kindness and honesy is needed. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.
If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?
Personally, I would and could do so easily
F"
maybe  |
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Communication is key in every walk of life not just when discussing feelings, it seems as if we are loosing the art of conversation these days possibly due to the ever increasing digital world. Talk it out like adults for us, eventually as much as you may not agree if it’s between to reasonable people you’ll respect each others position. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer friendship as well as sex with folk I interact with. I'm not seeking 'more', and I'm pretty clear on that. If they decided they did? I'd still reiterate I am not, and they could decide based upon that I guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it might be different for us with us being married but we’d have to cut contact and would find it quite easy.
It’s not worth the issues it could cause.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm kind of going through this. My female best friend I have been in love with for so long. Its not reciprocated, at least I know she loves me and she knows I had strong feelings. To save the friendship I backed off those feelings. A couple of weeks ago she told me about a new guy she was head over heels in love with. I found my feelings coming back to the surface and I feel heartbroken even though I knew there waa no chance of anything happen. I'm scared to walk away in case she doesn't want me back. I literally only have 2 or 3 friends and I've known her for 13 years. So to live her friendship would also be heartbreaking, leaving me in a kind of undecided limbo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s about communication and respect also being understanding of each other’s expectations, the last thing I’d want is to hurt anyone emotionally however my firm hand against their bare arse might cause a little tingling feeling |
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I think it depends what you mean by feelings. I have feelings for every man who’s cock I allow between my legs. I’d find it soulless if I didn’t.
However - I now very rarely meet and I’m rarely on-site - so perhaps the question isn’t aimed at someone like me.
Strong feelings (love or something akin to it) are obviously an issue if one person is in a relationship (which is not poly) and/or the other person doesn’t reciprocate them.
I had fairly strong feelings for a chap last year who I knew wasn’t a potential ltr. I simply backed off for a few months and gave my head a wobble. The last time I saw him we had a great time and there were no excessive feels.
If you’re both emotionally mature enough and it’s not full blown love then it’s not an issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well my innocent wee thread the other day certainly grew legs eh? Lol
2 threads now.. discussions aplenty.
From my experience there has to be some sort of feeling towards each to actually be intimate as I'm not a robot lol ….but having said that.. I've had to explain that i don't want a relationship and i genuinely like the person. Just being honest but i wouldn't cut them off or be very cold towards them. Life's too short to be an arse. Hey I'm flattered if anything.
Treat folks how you want to be treated …. Unless they stalk you then block, cut off, run for the hills aaaaaaaaaaaargh!!! Lol
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"As has been said before, I'd have an adult conversation with them about it.
What one person perceives as feelings might not be what another perceives. Setting boundaries and communicating is important."
Absolutely this! Just cutting all contact with someone because you've decided they're too into you is really damaging for all concerned. Especially if they have no clue what they did wrong and suddenly find themselves ghosted. Have the talk first,then cut them off if they get weird about it. This applies to all gender identities and sexualities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I started to get feelings for a lady I was meeting regularly. I suspect she feels the same. It’s not the right time for me.
Not wholly cut contact, but it’s markedly less it was previously.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The sooner you do it the better. It saves an aweful lot of pain in the long run. Please don't assume I am a heartless man with a dick for a moral compass, as it was me who got the gut punch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As has been said before, I'd have an adult conversation with them about it.
What one person perceives as feelings might not be what another perceives. Setting boundaries and communicating is important.
Absolutely this! Just cutting all contact with someone because you've decided they're too into you is really damaging for all concerned. Especially if they have no clue what they did wrong and suddenly find themselves ghosted. Have the talk first,then cut them off if they get weird about it. This applies to all gender identities and sexualities. "
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
This is where being poly is so good; nothing is off the table, I don’t need or want to run from emotions. If the feelings aren’t reciprocated and it causes issues, then de escalate and reassess but if they are or there’s a potential for more, then it’s a good thing.
Emotions being seen as a negative, especially in sexual situations can be so limiting |
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"As has been said before, I'd have an adult conversation with them about it.
What one person perceives as feelings might not be what another perceives. Setting boundaries and communicating is important.
Absolutely this! Just cutting all contact with someone because you've decided they're too into you is really damaging for all concerned. Especially if they have no clue what they did wrong and suddenly find themselves ghosted. Have the talk first,then cut them off if they get weird about it. This applies to all gender identities and sexualities. "
Oh yeah. I'd have the conversation. I can't do this, I'm sorry, etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.
If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?
Personally, I would and could do so easily
F"
Feelings are a very dangerous thing if only one has them ..for feelings to work both have to have them for eachother, but how do you know without risking not seeing that person again...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Following on from 2cool4schools thread.
If someone you were chatting to and friendly with started having feelings for you, would you cut contact with that person or not? Do you think it would be easy to do so?
Personally, I would and could do so easily
F"
I had an affair for 3 yrs with a woman and she kept giving me tasks to do. So she had to go. |
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"As has been said before, I'd have an adult conversation with them about it.
What one person perceives as feelings might not be what another perceives. Setting boundaries and communicating is important.
Absolutely this! Just cutting all contact with someone because you've decided they're too into you is really damaging for all concerned. Especially if they have no clue what they did wrong and suddenly find themselves ghosted. Have the talk first,then cut them off if they get weird about it. This applies to all gender identities and sexualities. "
I have had to cut all ties when they won't accept that it's the end. That then spawned a slew of threads about me. I didn't rise to the bait and eventually he stopped and I think went unlos he had been talking about moving to where I live. I thought it was a joke at first as we hadn't even met!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This can be terribly awkward, you just need to tell them straight, you don't want to hurt their feelings if they're a friend but it's worse if you don't address it |
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