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Do your friends become lovers or your lovers become friends?
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
If you look back 5-10 years , mostly sexually liberated people fall into one not both category
Is being friends when starting a sexual relationship more or less important than staying friends when one ends ? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Well I couldn't have sex with someone unless they were a friend now. Tried it before, I managed to stay uncomfortably dry.
Most of my lovers become friends because... just because I don't want to have sex with them it doesn't mean I no longer enjoy their company or having them in my life.
It depends though. If they've done certain things that I really can't stand, I'll either leave it or need time to remember why I valued their friendship. |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Um, they can go either way for me.
It's rare I particularly want to fuck someone that I don't also want to spend time with as a friend. "
Yeah they can but if you do a count most people don’t, not if you consider true friends anyway.
I’m not talking someone you fuck and still message occasionally , I’m thinking of people who maybe started as a ONS but became a life long friend , vs the mindset that generally has to have a strong friendship and connection before sex , but then things can end quite negatively and you lose contact with each other |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Well I couldn't have sex with someone unless they were a friend now. Tried it before, I managed to stay uncomfortably dry.
Most of my lovers become friends because... just because I don't want to have sex with them it doesn't mean I no longer enjoy their company or having them in my life.
It depends though. If they've done certain things that I really can't stand, I'll either leave it or need time to remember why I valued their friendship."
You’re not trying to sit on the fence as usual for a difficult question are you  |
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"Um, they can go either way for me.
It's rare I particularly want to fuck someone that I don't also want to spend time with as a friend.
Yeah they can but if you do a count most people don’t, not if you consider true friends anyway.
I’m not talking someone you fuck and still message occasionally , I’m thinking of people who maybe started as a ONS but became a life long friend , vs the mindset that generally has to have a strong friendship and connection before sex , but then things can end quite negatively and you lose contact with each other "
I'm friendly with most of my exes. Some just distantly but a few I'm still close to over a decade after we broke up. Someone who was important to me when we were fucking doesn't become less important just because we don't do that part any more. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Well I couldn't have sex with someone unless they were a friend now. Tried it before, I managed to stay uncomfortably dry.
Most of my lovers become friends because... just because I don't want to have sex with them it doesn't mean I no longer enjoy their company or having them in my life.
It depends though. If they've done certain things that I really can't stand, I'll either leave it or need time to remember why I valued their friendship.
You’re not trying to sit on the fence as usual for a difficult question are you "
Ha! Maybe.
What do you think OP? What's more important to you? |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Well I couldn't have sex with someone unless they were a friend now. Tried it before, I managed to stay uncomfortably dry.
Most of my lovers become friends because... just because I don't want to have sex with them it doesn't mean I no longer enjoy their company or having them in my life.
It depends though. If they've done certain things that I really can't stand, I'll either leave it or need time to remember why I valued their friendship.
You’re not trying to sit on the fence as usual for a difficult question are you
Ha! Maybe.
What do you think OP? What's more important to you? "
I think you know!
Starts are sometimes important, not always , but finishing is what matters most |
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I do both, but less so with pull on the night sexual encounters in a different town/country.
Over the years pulling in a pub/club down here, they have become friends and lovers, and I'm friends with all my previous open relationships/fwb that I no longer have sex with. I guess because none of them ended in a negative way, we are able to keep the friendship alive, albeit mostly online  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I’ve only stayed friends with two lovers. Once that line has been crossed it’s hard to go back to being friends "
Generally I'd agree. There's a couple of notable exceptions I can still chat to.
And one that I hope continues to be a close friend.
A |
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