FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is Romance Dead...
Is Romance Dead...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Or has it just been forgotten or lost in translation?
I know that for many people using this site (maybe even the majority) the idea of romance isn't something that enters their mind. They might already have that with a partner or they may just absolutely want to avoid it.
However I am a hopeless romantic lost in a hook up culture and I refuse to let go of that.
I want seduction, sensuality and dare I say it, feeling.
I understand that's not for everyone, and I appreciate for some that it just might not pair well with the whole NSA vibes of sexual liberation.
But why not? Why can't you have it all?
People are not robots. Not a commodity to be used (although I do know that's exactly what some seek)
I want indulgent sensual pleasures and lots of them. I don't want the conveyor belt of meaningless encounters. I want a revolving door of amazing experiences with wonderful people and beautiful memories. And I do love a bit of old fashioned romance and seduction.
We talk about kink shaming but sometimes I think the way people mock those of us who seek these things are just as bad.
So is it dead? Is it all about the casual hook up or is there still some hope that the two things can go hand in hand.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find that people are all looking for difference or a variation of the same.
I like the idea of romance and I find that as long as people are honest with their intentions be that they either just want sex, possible relationship or anything in between then so be it, and if you’re closer to what they are looking for then be honest back.
Sex can cause emotions to form and even talking to people at depth over a period of time can as well.
Just be honest and upfront that’s all I ask of anyone |
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It's a wonderful dynamic for me but a spectre for some/most people on here (I suspect).
I'm not the typical swinger.
I'm here for the passion, the sensuality, the emotional investment with feelings which do not necessarily transcend into a full blown relationship with 'spousal' obligations.
I think I'm old fashioned. 
I'm all for romance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you followed some of the folk on here you’d believe it was dead. There was a comment on another thread saying were all here to be used and we use each other. I thought what a bleak outlook. That might be true for some but like you OP i am an old romantic and i dislike being made to feel in the wrong for being that way. I hope romance isn't dead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Romance is never dead.
I think that’s the beauty of being poly for me, I started off in an open relationship and slowly started to realise that I needed to feel that connection, desire, romance etc.. being poly allows me to experience that with multiple partners.  |
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"It's a wonderful dynamic for me but a spectre for some/most people on here (I suspect).
I'm not the typical swinger.
I'm here for the passion, the sensuality, the emotional investment with feelings which do not necessarily transcend into a full blown relationship with 'spousal' obligations.
I think I'm old fashioned.
I'm all for romance."
What a fabulous description. Make that two of us, if you don't mind old chap  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's not dead, but not many women like to share it, when they find it, so life can get a little turbulent when seeking them, keep plugging away lovely  "
I view fab a bit like a library. There are some fantastic books that I want to read over and over again. Every time finding something new in the pages, but they aren't mine to keep.
And even if someone else has the book when I wish to read it, I know I can still enjoy the story from memory and be glad someone else also gets to read it. |
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"It's not dead, but not many women like to share it, when they find it, so life can get a little turbulent when seeking them, keep plugging away lovely
I view fab a bit like a library. There are some fantastic books that I want to read over and over again. Every time finding something new in the pages, but they aren't mine to keep.
And even if someone else has the book when I wish to read it, I know I can still enjoy the story from memory and be glad someone else also gets to read it. "
That's a lovely way to put it. Thank you . |
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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago
Deepest darkest Peru |
"It's not dead, but not many women like to share it, when they find it, so life can get a little turbulent when seeking them, keep plugging away lovely
I view fab a bit like a library. There are some fantastic books that I want to read over and over again. Every time finding something new in the pages, but they aren't mine to keep.
And even if someone else has the book when I wish to read it, I know I can still enjoy the story from memory and be glad someone else also gets to read it. "
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"It's not dead, but not many women like to share it, when they find it, so life can get a little turbulent when seeking them, keep plugging away lovely
I view fab a bit like a library. There are some fantastic books that I want to read over and over again. Every time finding something new in the pages, but they aren't mine to keep.
And even if someone else has the book when I wish to read it, I know I can still enjoy the story from memory and be glad someone else also gets to read it. "
I think I love you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m not here looking for any feelings to develop between myself and the people I meet obviously but I also don’t want to feel used either. Like it’s just something to do. I do kind of want to feel a bit special to them when we’re together, in that moment. I think that might be one of the reasons I’m finding it difficult to meet anyone on here at the minute. One offs are great and exciting but the longer I’ve been here the less desire I have to do those types of meets. If boundaries are made clear at the very beginning I don’t see how it can’t work. |
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"Or has it just been forgotten or lost in translation?
I know that for many people using this site (maybe even the majority) the idea of romance isn't something that enters their mind. They might already have that with a partner or they may just absolutely want to avoid it.
However I am a hopeless romantic lost in a hook up culture and I refuse to let go of that.
I want seduction, sensuality and dare I say it, feeling.
I understand that's not for everyone, and I appreciate for some that it just might not pair well with the whole NSA vibes of sexual liberation.
But why not? Why can't you have it all?
People are not robots. Not a commodity to be used (although I do know that's exactly what some seek)
I want indulgent sensual pleasures and lots of them. I don't want the conveyor belt of meaningless encounters. I want a revolving door of amazing experiences with wonderful people and beautiful memories. And I do love a bit of old fashioned romance and seduction.
We talk about kink shaming but sometimes I think the way people mock those of us who seek these things are just as bad.
So is it dead? Is it all about the casual hook up or is there still some hope that the two things can go hand in hand.
"
it certainly isn't here |
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I don't believe it's dead.
I do believe actively seeking it in a place like this could well lead to despair and unhappiness though.
Along the way I've found my people, and that's where the romance is, between individuals, and each one is so different. The romance I have with each person I adore I don't have with anyone else. So even if you find another romantic soul seeking, it might not be the right romance, and it might not be the right connection for it to blossom. |
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"It's a wonderful dynamic for me but a spectre for some/most people on here (I suspect).
I'm not the typical swinger.
I'm here for the passion, the sensuality, the emotional investment with feelings which do not necessarily transcend into a full blown relationship with 'spousal' obligations.
I think I'm old fashioned.
I'm all for romance.
What a fabulous description. Make that two of us, if you don't mind old chap "
•
With tonic water.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hope not… who doesn’t like the connecting, finding things that create a spark between you. Learning about each others lives.
I certainly love all that
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"Or has it just been forgotten or lost in translation?
I know that for many people using this site (maybe even the majority) the idea of romance isn't something that enters their mind. They might already have that with a partner or they may just absolutely want to avoid it.
However I am a hopeless romantic lost in a hook up culture and I refuse to let go of that.
I want seduction, sensuality and dare I say it, feeling.
I understand that's not for everyone, and I appreciate for some that it just might not pair well with the whole NSA vibes of sexual liberation.
But why not? Why can't you have it all?
People are not robots. Not a commodity to be used (although I do know that's exactly what some seek)
I want indulgent sensual pleasures and lots of them. I don't want the conveyor belt of meaningless encounters. I want a revolving door of amazing experiences with wonderful people and beautiful memories. And I do love a bit of old fashioned romance and seduction.
We talk about kink shaming but sometimes I think the way people mock those of us who seek these things are just as bad.
So is it dead? Is it all about the casual hook up or is there still some hope that the two things can go hand in hand.
"
let us be lover we marry our fortune together . |
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It’s definitely possible to have real connections with people and sensual, intimate experiences without there being anything more to it. I’m married but I’ve still been lucky enough to find some single guys who want that too without the commitment. We can have our few hours together when we get the chance, enjoy each other and then go back to our normal everyday lives. It’s just finding the right people that takes patience.
Kx |
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"Thanks everyone for not judging!
I expected a few why are you here comments.
Glad to see I'm not alone in my thoughts x"
Why judge anyone? We are each here for whatever we seek. I hope you find that which you desire |
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"It's a wonderful dynamic for me but a spectre for some/most people on here (I suspect).
I'm not the typical swinger.
I'm here for the passion, the sensuality, the emotional investment with feelings which do not necessarily transcend into a full blown relationship with 'spousal' obligations.
I think I'm old fashioned.
I'm all for romance."
Is that the same as lovebombing |
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"It's a wonderful dynamic for me but a spectre for some/most people on here (I suspect).
I'm not the typical swinger.
I'm here for the passion, the sensuality, the emotional investment with feelings which do not necessarily transcend into a full blown relationship with 'spousal' obligations.
I think I'm old fashioned.
I'm all for romance.
·
Is that the same as lovebombing "
•
I'm not familiar with that term. What does it mean? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or has it just been forgotten or lost in translation?
I know that for many people using this site (maybe even the majority) the idea of romance isn't something that enters their mind. They might already have that with a partner or they may just absolutely want to avoid it.
However I am a hopeless romantic lost in a hook up culture and I refuse to let go of that.
I want seduction, sensuality and dare I say it, feeling.
I understand that's not for everyone, and I appreciate for some that it just might not pair well with the whole NSA vibes of sexual liberation.
But why not? Why can't you have it all?
People are not robots. Not a commodity to be used (although I do know that's exactly what some seek)
I want indulgent sensual pleasures and lots of them. I don't want the conveyor belt of meaningless encounters. I want a revolving door of amazing experiences with wonderful people and beautiful memories. And I do love a bit of old fashioned romance and seduction.
We talk about kink shaming but sometimes I think the way people mock those of us who seek these things are just as bad.
So is it dead? Is it all about the casual hook up or is there still some hope that the two things can go hand in hand.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or has it just been forgotten or lost in translation?
I know that for many people using this site (maybe even the majority) the idea of romance isn't something that enters their mind. They might already have that with a partner or they may just absolutely want to avoid it.
However I am a hopeless romantic lost in a hook up culture and I refuse to let go of that.
I want seduction, sensuality and dare I say it, feeling.
I understand that's not for everyone, and I appreciate for some that it just might not pair well with the whole NSA vibes of sexual liberation.
But why not? Why can't you have it all?
People are not robots. Not a commodity to be used (although I do know that's exactly what some seek)
I want indulgent sensual pleasures and lots of them. I don't want the conveyor belt of meaningless encounters. I want a revolving door of amazing experiences with wonderful people and beautiful memories. And I do love a bit of old fashioned romance and seduction.
We talk about kink shaming but sometimes I think the way people mock those of us who seek these things are just as bad.
So is it dead? Is it all about the casual hook up or is there still some hope that the two things can go hand in hand.
"
I have pondered this very subject for over 20 yrs,from clubbing,rave scene,house parties,chatlines now apps. The human need and greed has grown.
The very Art form is dyeing fast. Because the nurturer's of it are gone.
: its a culture and mindset " and a numbers game like in sales NEXT!!
I think you full well know,where you are and where its going.
It cannot go hand in hand.
The answer is out there,for sure. |
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"It's not dead, but not many women like to share it, when they find it, so life can get a little turbulent when seeking them, keep plugging away lovely
I view fab a bit like a library. There are some fantastic books that I want to read over and over again. Every time finding something new in the pages, but they aren't mine to keep.
And even if someone else has the book when I wish to read it, I know I can still enjoy the story from memory and be glad someone else also gets to read it. "
A perfect way to look at it and I wish more had that outlook, unfortunately women emotionally sharing men, with other women, doesn't happen often |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's a wonderful dynamic for me but a spectre for some/most people on here (I suspect).
I'm not the typical swinger.
I'm here for the passion, the sensuality, the emotional investment with feelings which do not necessarily transcend into a full blown relationship with 'spousal' obligations.
I think I'm old fashioned.
I'm all for romance.
What a fabulous description. Make that two of us, if you don't mind old chap "
 know oneself first. To know another.
Feelings and emotions change in all of us. And get confused with lust,desire.infacuation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, not at all. Most of my experiences via the site are obviously sex based, but especially 1:1, I've formed friendships, I've chatted pre meet. I one case I've made a fab 'friend', as in we speak every day, talk absolute drivel, total sex mismatch, but I've found someone I do like in my actual life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No it’s not dead! Romance isn’t what we’re looking for but we’re still not here for a quickie. The intimate connection is important to us and if we were singles I’d say it would be even more important!
There’s room for cuddles AND fucks on here
Mr |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
It's not dead by it I think it depends on your definition of romance as for me it's the little things. The unexpected bunch of flowers means so much more than an overpriced rose at Valentine's. Something that says 'I was thinking of you while you weren't with me' things |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
"
I want indulgent sensual pleasures and lots of them. I don't want the conveyor belt of meaningless encounters. I want a revolving door of amazing experiences with wonderful people and beautiful memories. And I do love a bit of old fashioned romance and seduction.
"
I’m very much into this idea with meets, I know it’s not what everyone wants but if they do then it works for me |
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Romance is definitely not dead, but it's likely to be harder to discover in an environment where NSA is a primary element.
I think that romance involves a period of "getting to know" someone, a deeper emotional level of attraction rather than just sexual desire. When someone's goal is your company rather than your body, then they're more inclined towards romance.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Romance is definitely not dead, but it's likely to be harder to discover in an environment where NSA is a primary element.
I think that romance involves a period of "getting to know" someone, a deeper emotional level of attraction rather than just sexual desire. When someone's goal is your company rather than your body, then they're more inclined towards romance.
Cal"
Old wise head in young shoulders. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not dead by it I think it depends on your definition of romance as for me it's the little things. The unexpected bunch of flowers means so much more than an overpriced rose at Valentine's. Something that says 'I was thinking of you while you weren't with me' things "
Most overthink,everybody needs to show ways of expression. But its like oh iam here,many can mind and brain read me!
How far behind are we really. ( Humans )
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Romance is definitely not dead, but it's likely to be harder to discover in an environment where NSA is a primary element.
I think that romance involves a period of "getting to know" someone, a deeper emotional level of attraction rather than just sexual desire. When someone's goal is your company rather than your body, then they're more inclined towards romance.
Cal"
True. On here if you have sex on 2nd or 3rd date , you both feel really good for waiting.
This is very British, Asian or Arabic women like to make men wait and build that respect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Romance is definitely not dead, but it's likely to be harder to discover in an environment where NSA is a primary element.
I think that romance involves a period of "getting to know" someone, a deeper emotional level of attraction rather than just sexual desire. When someone's goal is your company rather than your body, then they're more inclined towards romance.
Cal
True. On here if you have sex on 2nd or 3rd date , you both feel really good for waiting.
This is very British, Asian or Arabic women like to make men wait and build that respect."
Damn those British women not making men wait!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think Prey said people looking for romance on Fab might be very disappointed? I agreed with that. I don't think romance is dead, but I've found little here. But every time I read of a couple who met here, there's a little flicker of hope.  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I don't think it is dead.
I also don't think that it's something you can predict or necessarily look for - you might have a sensual romantic experience with one person, yet that same person might make another feel like they're a meaningless encounter on their hitlist.
I think it's down to how open you both are to that experience, being able to understand that feelings don't necessarily mean running into the sunset with each other.
I'm something of a hopeless romantic (I dislike the library analogy above for reasons but I don't want to turn this thread into a Meli gleefully takes apart an idea). No, scratch that, I am.
I adore people. I love feelings. I enjoy that connection with another person, the way it can grow from a video call here or there to that first date where you're brimming with butterflies to that first kiss. I love going on dates, the little subtle touches that says someone is interested in me. The little kisses on the forehead, the flirting. The flurry of messages after.
I'm not in a rush to have sex with anyone - in fact I'd say it's very different with me. I actively take sex off the table for a myriad of reasons.
One being - I don't want to have sex with a person unless there's that emotional (it can be platonic) bond there. I need a deeper level of attraction to think, yes, I'd like to have sex with this person.
I'm enjoying embracing my softer side. And finding those people who see sensuality and romance in a similar way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Romance is definitely not dead, but it's likely to be harder to discover in an environment where NSA is a primary element.
I think that romance involves a period of "getting to know" someone, a deeper emotional level of attraction rather than just sexual desire. When someone's goal is your company rather than your body, then they're more inclined towards romance.
Cal
True. On here if you have sex on 2nd or 3rd date , you both feel really good for waiting.
This is very British, Asian or Arabic women like to make men wait and build that respect."
You can still be a third date girl on fab. I often have been |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Romance is definitely not dead, but it's likely to be harder to discover in an environment where NSA is a primary element.
I think that romance involves a period of "getting to know" someone, a deeper emotional level of attraction rather than just sexual desire. When someone's goal is your company rather than your body, then they're more inclined towards romance.
Cal
True. On here if you have sex on 2nd or 3rd date , you both feel really good for waiting.
This is very British, Asian or Arabic women like to make men wait and build that respect.
You can still be a third date girl on fab. I often have been "
But it’s not in our culture to wait months and months , not normally once dating I mean. I dine it once or twice and you do feel differently, you kind of treasure them a little and happy to wait |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Romance is definitely not dead, but it's likely to be harder to discover in an environment where NSA is a primary element.
I think that romance involves a period of "getting to know" someone, a deeper emotional level of attraction rather than just sexual desire. When someone's goal is your company rather than your body, then they're more inclined towards romance.
Cal
True. On here if you have sex on 2nd or 3rd date , you both feel really good for waiting.
This is very British, Asian or Arabic women like to make men wait and build that respect.
You can still be a third date girl on fab. I often have been "
People make allowances how and where they see fit, |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Romance is definitely not dead, but it's likely to be harder to discover in an environment where NSA is a primary element.
I think that romance involves a period of "getting to know" someone, a deeper emotional level of attraction rather than just sexual desire. When someone's goal is your company rather than your body, then they're more inclined towards romance.
Cal
True. On here if you have sex on 2nd or 3rd date , you both feel really good for waiting.
This is very British, Asian or Arabic women like to make men wait and build that respect.
You can still be a third date girl on fab. I often have been
But it’s not in our culture to wait months and months , not normally once dating I mean. I dine it once or twice and you do feel differently, you kind of treasure them a little and happy to wait "
I think with logistics it sometimes can be a while and I think it's resulted in better experiences too.
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"Romance is definitely not dead, but it's likely to be harder to discover in an environment where NSA is a primary element.
I think that romance involves a period of "getting to know" someone, a deeper emotional level of attraction rather than just sexual desire. When someone's goal is your company rather than your body, then they're more inclined towards romance.
Cal
True. On here if you have sex on 2nd or 3rd date , you both feel really good for waiting.
This is very British, Asian or Arabic women like to make men wait and build that respect."
I want the security of knowing we are sexually compatible, at the beginning. I'd be devastated if I grew a serious, romantic attachment to someone first, to then find out that we are incompatible  |
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"It's a wonderful dynamic for me but a spectre for some/most people on here (I suspect).
I'm not the typical swinger.
I'm here for the passion, the sensuality, the emotional investment with feelings which do not necessarily transcend into a full blown relationship with 'spousal' obligations.
I think I'm old fashioned.
I'm all for romance.
·
Is that the same as lovebombing
•
I'm not familiar with that term. What does it mean?"
Sometimes known as The Dennis System |
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"Feels like it sometimes...
4 dates in 4.5 years and that's with effort...  "
Oh my lady with cups o G if only I were your cup of tea
I'd stimulate your mind and drive you wild in passionate
Embrace to look in your eyes to see you smile .
Sadly I've run out of rhyme.
|
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"Or has it just been forgotten or lost in translation?
I know that for many people using this site (maybe even the majority) the idea of romance isn't something that enters their mind. They might already have that with a partner or they may just absolutely want to avoid it.
However I am a hopeless romantic lost in a hook up culture and I refuse to let go of that.
I want seduction, sensuality and dare I say it, feeling.
I understand that's not for everyone, and I appreciate for some that it just might not pair well with the whole NSA vibes of sexual liberation.
But why not? Why can't you have it all?
People are not robots. Not a commodity to be used (although I do know that's exactly what some seek)
I want indulgent sensual pleasures and lots of them. I don't want the conveyor belt of meaningless encounters. I want a revolving door of amazing experiences with wonderful people and beautiful memories. And I do love a bit of old fashioned romance and seduction.
We talk about kink shaming but sometimes I think the way people mock those of us who seek these things are just as bad.
So is it dead? Is it all about the casual hook up or is there still some hope that the two things can go hand in hand.
"
I hear you!
I'm old fashioned and love romance.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely not dead…I love being romanced by my hubby and vice versa. We have been together a long time now but still make time each other.
Still get excited about our weekly date nights in. Looking forward to tonight |
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