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••·· The Day Before The Meet ··••
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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago
Covent Garden |
Dear Nøn-Binariës, Persons of Interest, Gentlemën and Ladiës...
Earlier this afternoon I was speaking to a friend on the telephone and she was telling me about her experiences when exchanging a flurry of enthusiastic messages the day before a long-anticipated meet.
Oh, you know how it goes — there's been a build-up of chat and chemistry over the preceding weeks, it's the day before the meet, you're super-excited and asking each other what they will be wearing and what cake they will be sampling...
However, what about those situations when you experience total silence the night before the meet? Is this an acceptable protocol? Is it a red flag? Would you be calm, nonchalant and just turn up at the agreed rendezvous and time, regardless?
What are your viewpoints? |
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I think a quick message on the day of the arranged meeting is de rigour to confirm, e.g. "looking forward to seeing you later". I'd view radio silence with suspicion and be expecting a no show. I'd have a plan B, such as shopping, cinema or similar activities. |
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Sometimes I need to be quiet for a while, so if someone else does too, I try not to worry.
I'll usually send a quick text to confirm plans are still going ahead a couple of hours before whether we're in a talkative or quiet period, but as long as I get a positive to that I don't mind if life gets in the way of gushy overcommunication  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would check in with them and make sure they were OK. I'd rather know the night before if they had changed their mind than on the day.
They could just be nervous too though.
I'd probably be a little disappointed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A simple “looking forward to meeting you tomorrow” or something along those lines isn’t a big ask. I’d expect some sort of communication the day before and the day of to make sure I wasn’t wasting my time.
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I would want to know why the build up has changed. If it’s not a build up for the other person then it probably won’t happen. But then I’m not talking from experience as this has never happened to me so far  |
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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago
Covent Garden |
"I think a quick message on the day of the arranged meeting is de rigour to confirm, e.g. "looking forward to seeing you later". I'd view radio silence with suspicion and be expecting a no show. I'd have a plan B, such as shopping, cinema or similar activities. "
•
So your meet is on, say a Sunday, and you've been messaging on and off between the previous Monday until Friday...but nothing whatsoever on the Saturday, i.e. the day before. I would have to have a robust Plan B. |
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"I think a quick message on the day of the arranged meeting is de rigour to confirm, e.g. "looking forward to seeing you later". I'd view radio silence with suspicion and be expecting a no show. I'd have a plan B, such as shopping, cinema or similar activities.
•
So your meet is on, say a Sunday, and you've been messaging on and off between the previous Monday until Friday...but nothing whatsoever on the Saturday, i.e. the day before. I would have to have a robust Plan B."
Defo plan B. To be honest, I'd also feel vindicated in sending something like "as I've not heard from you today/yesterday [delete as appropriate], I'm just checking you're okay and we're still on to meet today/tomorrow. If I don't hear anything by X time, then I'll assume something has come up and we can rearrange. Hope all is well with you." |
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"I think a quick message on the day of the arranged meeting is de rigour to confirm, e.g. "looking forward to seeing you later". I'd view radio silence with suspicion and be expecting a no show. I'd have a plan B, such as shopping, cinema or similar activities.
•
So your meet is on, say a Sunday, and you've been messaging on and off between the previous Monday until Friday...but nothing whatsoever on the Saturday, i.e. the day before. I would have to have a robust Plan B.
Defo plan B. To be honest, I'd also feel vindicated in sending something like "as I've not heard from you today/yesterday [delete as appropriate], I'm just checking you're okay and we're still on to meet today/tomorrow. If I don't hear anything by X time, then I'll assume something has come up and we can rearrange. Hope all is well with you.""
This has happened to me once…
That is not the well thought out reasoned text that I sent   |
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"I think a quick message on the day of the arranged meeting is de rigour to confirm, e.g. "looking forward to seeing you later". I'd view radio silence with suspicion and be expecting a no show. I'd have a plan B, such as shopping, cinema or similar activities.
•
So your meet is on, say a Sunday, and you've been messaging on and off between the previous Monday until Friday...but nothing whatsoever on the Saturday, i.e. the day before. I would have to have a robust Plan B.
Defo plan B. To be honest, I'd also feel vindicated in sending something like "as I've not heard from you today/yesterday [delete as appropriate], I'm just checking you're okay and we're still on to meet today/tomorrow. If I don't hear anything by X time, then I'll assume something has come up and we can rearrange. Hope all is well with you."
This has happened to me once…
That is not the well thought out reasoned text that I sent "
 . I’m just imagining that text |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't meet someone if it wasn't confirmed on the day that it was still going ahead. I like lots of chat and reassurance. I'm the kind of woman who will update you every chance I get. I'm just shaving my asshole. I'm doing my makeup. I've spilt soup on my dress but then I'll jump on the train. I'm on the train. I'm shitting my pants but I'm horny. I'll be there in five minutes. |
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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago
Covent Garden |
"I think a quick message on the day of the arranged meeting is de rigour to confirm, e.g. "looking forward to seeing you later". I'd view radio silence with suspicion and be expecting a no show. I'd have a plan B, such as shopping, cinema or similar activities.
•
So your meet is on, say a Sunday, and you've been messaging on and off between the previous Monday until Friday...but nothing whatsoever on the Saturday, i.e. the day before. I would have to have a robust Plan B.
Defo plan B. To be honest, I'd also feel vindicated in sending something like "as I've not heard from you today/yesterday [delete as appropriate], I'm just checking you're okay and we're still on to meet today/tomorrow. If I don't hear anything by X time, then I'll assume something has come up and we can rearrange. Hope all is well with you."
This has happened to me once…
That is not the well thought out reasoned text that I sent
. I’m just imagining that text "
•
Me too! |
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I’d want to check in the night before abs have an idea about whether there was a possibility of a cancellation.
I’d check in the day off to usually confirm time and meet point (and just done last check in/assurance piece) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had conversations that over a week then go cold. Sometimes folks are too pretense and not honest yet claim to be genuine. Genuine player. Even after communication off here. A social is arranged then ghost me. 3 weeks of this treatment.
I gotten used to it. Move on. Better people out there.
Night before quiet. Morning quiet. Block |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Apologies for missing this earlier - far too much mental stimulation, talking and exhaustion meant I was asleep...
So. Bump.
I adore it. If someone's not being particularly enthused, if there's not that increase in messaging, that palatable frisson of excitement... well I'm not particularly keen. I like leaning in to someone's attention, focusing on another person.
I don't expect nor particularly want a lewdness to go with that anticipation, especially not the night before because they'll probably spaff out their excitement prematurely. Overnight.
I do like feeling desired. Like someone really does want to meet me. I'm a busy woman in my day to day life and if someone doesn't give me that energy like they want to meet me? I don't have to go through with it. I don't go through with it because I have too much respect for myself.
You can sort of tell when the interest isn't really there can't you? I'm getting far better at saying, apologies, this isn't working for me.
I think in part that's because I adore sensuality and almost... seduction. The build up. I don't need to waste time where my energy won't be reciprocated - there are people out there who will give me that energy. Delightfully so. |
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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago
Covent Garden |
"I’d want to check in the night before abs have an idea about whether there was a possibility of a cancellation.
I’d check in the day off to usually confirm time and meet point (and just done last check in/assurance piece)"
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That's sensible 'due diligence' and reasonable too. |
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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago
Covent Garden |
"Apologies for missing this earlier - far too much mental stimulation, talking and exhaustion meant I was asleep...
So. Bump.
I adore it. If someone's not being particularly enthused, if there's not that increase in messaging, that palatable frisson of excitement... well I'm not particularly keen. I like leaning in to someone's attention, focusing on another person.
I don't expect nor particularly want a lewdness to go with that anticipation, especially not the night before because they'll probably spaff out their excitement prematurely. Overnight.
I do like feeling desired. Like someone really does want to meet me. I'm a busy woman in my day to day life and if someone doesn't give me that energy like they want to meet me? I don't have to go through with it. I don't go through with it because I have too much respect for myself.
You can sort of tell when the interest isn't really there can't you? I'm getting far better at saying, apologies, this isn't working for me.
I think in part that's because I adore sensuality and almost... seduction. The build up. I don't need to waste time where my energy won't be reciprocated - there are people out there who will give me that energy. Delightfully so."
•
Absolutely! For me the night before is the crescendo of those little flurries of desire, anticipation, tailored with a gentle nudge to reaffirm the 'keenness' to meet. It doesn't have to be an endless barrage of messages, instead a subtle 'green light' of enthusiasm for the impending meet is enough for the mutual reassurance. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"
•
Absolutely! For me the night before is the crescendo of those little flurries of desire, anticipation, tailored with a gentle nudge to reaffirm the 'keenness' to meet. It doesn't have to be an endless barrage of messages, instead a subtle 'green light' of enthusiasm for the impending meet is enough for the mutual reassurance."
Yes that's it. The keenness is important to me; don't get me wrong, too keen and I feel a bit... unsure. I don't want texts relaying a minute by minute break down of their day.
I do want to feel like someone is anticipating meeting me and feeling excited about it though. If someone doesn't message with that sort of energy? Fuck it, ex-husband. A wise old man has been teaching me the ways of fuck it recently and it's so true. |
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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago
Covent Garden |
"
•
Absolutely! For me the night before is the crescendo of those little flurries of desire, anticipation, tailored with a gentle nudge to reaffirm the 'keenness' to meet. It doesn't have to be an endless barrage of messages, instead a subtle 'green light' of enthusiasm for the impending meet is enough for the mutual reassurance.
Yes that's it. The keenness is important to me; don't get me wrong, too keen and I feel a bit... unsure. I don't want texts relaying a minute by minute break down of their day.
I do want to feel like someone is anticipating meeting me and feeling excited about it though. If someone doesn't message with that sort of energy? Fuck it, ex-husband. A wise old man has been teaching me the ways of fuck it recently and it's so true. "
•
I think we are on the same page. Thank you oh fora contributor.  |
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I would always give a confirmation mail/chat on the night before a meet. If I didn’t get a response then I would assume it was off.
In my experience “meets” that involve lots of messages back and forth and “excitement” tend not to happen. I have found that it is actually a pretty good predictor of fantasists. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've experienced this a couple of times during my Fab time.
If there was communication up until the day before a planned meet, I'd be expecting the meet to go ahead. If there was then radio silence on morning/day of planned meet, I would already have plan B in place. |
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"I would always give a confirmation mail/chat on the night before a meet. If I didn’t get a response then I would assume it was off.
In my experience “meets” that involve lots of messages back and forth and “excitement” tend not to happen. I have found that it is actually a pretty good predictor of fantasists."
I like this level headed approach |
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By *eroLondon OP Man
over a year ago
Covent Garden |
"I would always give a confirmation mail/chat on the night before a meet. If I didn’t get a response then I would assume it was off.
In my experience “meets” that involve lots of messages back and forth and “excitement” tend not to happen. I have found that it is actually a pretty good predictor of fantasists."
•
I couldn't agree with you more! Thank you for your insightful input.  |
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