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I couldn't help but notice...
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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those little things on a person's body. The things that might be considered flaws. Cellulite. Stretch marks. Darker inner thighs. A wobbly tummy. Squidge when you sit down. Body hair.
The things that might make a person cover up. Do you notice them? Do you care about them? Have you ever been put off by someone because of it?
How do you feel about them on yourself? |
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"those little things on a person's body. The things that might be considered flaws. Cellulite. Stretch marks. Darker inner thighs. A wobbly tummy. Squidge when you sit down. Body hair.
Always happy to investigate yours and let you look at mine I've very interesting scar on my inner thigh
That looks like the map of England
The things that might make a person cover up. Do you notice them? Do you care about them? Have you ever been put off by someone because of it?
How do you feel about them on yourself?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hardly notice them on others, or if I do it's never in a negative way.
I way more critical of myself though, it's why I always do certain angles in pics and have my hand across my stomach.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...Darker inner thighs. A wobbly tummy....
The things that might make a person cover up. Do you notice them?..."
Now I am going to have to look for those! I may need some photos to understand what I am looking for  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... it's why I always do certain angles in pics and have my hand across my stomach.
"
That and hiding the profile of course 
The little triangle of moles (or are they freckles) is quite cute! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...Darker inner thighs. A wobbly tummy....
The things that might make a person cover up. Do you notice them?...
Now I am going to have to look for those! I may need some photos to understand what I am looking for "
The dark inner thighs, I know what a wobbly tum is, mine is back since I stopped doing Midnight's new year plank and squats regime. |
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Being honest, I hate, HATE, certain things on myself, but hypocritically, I really don't care about them on someone else.
At a certain point in the evening, relationship, you don't mind about them on myself, but takes a while and alot of trust to get there. |
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"I notice them on myself and hate them, but on others I hardly notice at all it's a little strange.
Mrs "
Same. I have squidge, stretch marks, scars, cellulite, plenty of flaws, and on me, I cannot stand them. In the mirror, I see a fat, unattractive person. On others, those things don't bother me at all, or I find them interesting. I find skin with vitiligo really beautiful, for example. I love chunky bodies too.
Many of us are our own worst critics, for whatever reason.
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I hardly notice them on others, or if I do it's never in a negative way.
I way more critical of myself though, it's why I always do certain angles in pics and have my hand across my stomach.
"
Yes, I think there's that tendency to judge ourselves more harshly than another person (that we like). Probably we're more aware of them because we know ourselves and see our body daily. Giving it greater importance than necessary. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
Do I notice them, sometimes yes.
Do I care, not so much.
I'm not perfect myself. People may see one thing, while I see another on myself. They are likely the same about themselves.
There are things about our bodies (individual) that are not overly attractive on their own, but that doesn't mean it's not something that makes us unattractive.
I have a very noticeable birthmark, than I can hide well in pics, or have covered up majority of the time. People will and do notice it.
It's not exactly attractive or sexy at all.
But I'm used to it, I've grown up with it, I can't change it. It's there, so while I have this sitting on me for my life, I'd certainly not be looking to dismiss others for whatever may or may not be with themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do I notice, yes, do I care, no. I've never been put off by what are considered flaws.
As for me, it's my moobs, I went up to over 15stone earlier in the year and nearly needed a training bra. I've since lost close to a stone but the moobs are still there and I hate them. Very conscious of them, especially when they jiggle going downstairs...that's actual stairs, not a euphemism. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we all notice these things but honestly stuff like that just doesn’t bother me. I know when I’m attracted to someone and a few tiger stripes and some wobbly bits are certainly not going to put me off 
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I absolutely hate my stomach area due to a very ugly scar and stretch marks. However, I have recently posted photos in here showing it and thankfully I haven't received any negative comments about my ugliness.
I wouldn't have the confidence to walk around a club with it on show and I always try to wear lingerie that hides it all when I'm on a meet. I don't want people to cringe and be put off me.
I have so many body faults that I absolutely hate, some from when I was a baby, you would think I'd be used to them after all these years but no. I hate them and can't get my head around learning to love them. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"I absolutely hate my stomach area due to a very ugly scar and stretch marks. However, I have recently posted photos in here showing it and thankfully I haven't received any negative comments about my ugliness.
I wouldn't have the confidence to walk around a club with it on show and I always try to wear lingerie that hides it all when I'm on a meet. I don't want people to cringe and be put off me.
I have so many body faults that I absolutely hate, some from when I was a baby, you would think I'd be used to them after all these years but no. I hate them and can't get my head around learning to love them."
Don't try to love them, people that tell you to do such things are talking shit. Focus on just acceptance of them before anything else. Don't run before you can even crawl, nevermind walk.
We often can't accept things because we are so focused on trying to go beyond that, so when we fail to "love" we make no progress at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I notice, yes, do I care, no. I've never been put off by what are considered flaws.
As for me, it's my moobs, I went up to over 15stone earlier in the year and nearly needed a training bra. I've since lost close to a stone but the moobs are still there and I hate them. Very conscious of them, especially when they jiggle going downstairs...that's actual stairs, not a euphemism."
My last partner was similar. He wouldn't be around me with his tip off, hated his moobs (don't like that word). Didn't like me touching his chest.
I was so overwhelmed with lust for him I honestly didn't care. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Do I notice, yes, do I care, no. I've never been put off by what are considered flaws.
As for me, it's my moobs, I went up to over 15stone earlier in the year and nearly needed a training bra. I've since lost close to a stone but the moobs are still there and I hate them. Very conscious of them, especially when they jiggle going downstairs...that's actual stairs, not a euphemism.
My last partner was similar. He wouldn't be around me with his tip off, hated his moobs (don't like that word). Didn't like me touching his chest.
I was so overwhelmed with lust for him I honestly didn't care."
I'm much more confident in my self when in a relationship, or at least dating somebody. Obviously not all, as some can be toxic and have the reverse effect of course.
But having that person to fuel what you can and should feel secure about makes so much difference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oversharing time but it was a moment that actually changed me.
I've got a flaw (I actually have many) one of them is dent in my left nipple. It's always been there and although I've been a bit self conscious about it I've never made a thing of it other than hope people don't notice or are put off by it.
An ex did notice and more than that he told me it was beautiful. It was his favourite part of me. I mean he really noticed the very first time we got naked. He was poetic in so many ways and I've never understood how he could possibly see me in the ways that he did.
He was also the first person to kiss my stomach, an area I absolutely loathe, yet he managed to make feel good.
He noticed so many little things and remembered details of moments like no one ever has and I doubt ever will. It's really no wonder he broke me so much.
My point is that those perceived flaws will be beautiful to someone. I love tracing scars and understanding the story behind them.
People are real we are not air brushed models and those parts or flaws we often hate really just need a bit of extra love.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I notice, yes, do I care, no. I've never been put off by what are considered flaws.
As for me, it's my moobs, I went up to over 15stone earlier in the year and nearly needed a training bra. I've since lost close to a stone but the moobs are still there and I hate them. Very conscious of them, especially when they jiggle going downstairs...that's actual stairs, not a euphemism.
My last partner was similar. He wouldn't be around me with his tip off, hated his moobs (don't like that word). Didn't like me touching his chest.
I was so overwhelmed with lust for him I honestly didn't care.
I'm much more confident in my self when in a relationship, or at least dating somebody. Obviously not all, as some can be toxic and have the reverse effect of course.
But having that person to fuel what you can and should feel secure about makes so much difference. "
Definitely. He did eventually feel confident enough to me fully naked around me. It didn't matter to me though, if he kept his top on or not, I just wanted to do all the fucking with him as often as possible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do I notice, yes, do I care, no. I've never been put off by what are considered flaws.
As for me, it's my moobs, I went up to over 15stone earlier in the year and nearly needed a training bra. I've since lost close to a stone but the moobs are still there and I hate them. Very conscious of them, especially when they jiggle going downstairs...that's actual stairs, not a euphemism.
My last partner was similar. He wouldn't be around me with his tip off, hated his moobs (don't like that word). Didn't like me touching his chest.
I was so overwhelmed with lust for him I honestly didn't care.
I'm much more confident in my self when in a relationship, or at least dating somebody. Obviously not all, as some can be toxic and have the reverse effect of course.
But having that person to fuel what you can and should feel secure about makes so much difference.
Definitely. He did eventually feel confident enough to me fully naked around me. It didn't matter to me though, if he kept his top on or not, I just wanted to do all the fucking with him as often as possible. "
Not fucking, making love, well sometimes it was fucking. |
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I’m not good with my body at the moment, very conscious of my flaws. I put on weight during my last relationship and I’m living in a body that’s very different to the one I’m used to.
But in others - no, I don’t usually notice and if I do, not bothered at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"those little things on a person's body. The things that might be considered flaws. Cellulite. Stretch marks. Darker inner thighs. A wobbly tummy. Squidge when you sit down. Body hair.
The things that might make a person cover up. Do you notice them? Do you care about them? Have you ever been put off by someone because of it?
How do you feel about them on yourself?"
I would hate to meet the perfect body, firstly because mine isn't and secondly because blemishes show that someone has lived and experienced life. I read their body, face and body language like a short novel. |
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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
We're so dumb in that we accept and even appreciate other people's flaws but not our own. I've got so many I daren't count. I've recently developed hyperpigmentation on my face and that Is taking some getting used to, my face was the main part of me that I liked  
I met a woman who was a bit shy having had a double mastectomy and skin taken from all the way round her stomach. Her newly constructed boobs were great and her scars were awesome, but for her it would take time accepting that. |
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Yes I notice,I don't care about them, put off is too strong a phrase for me but sexually there are types I find attractive and types I don't, socially the only thing that puts me off are personal traits.
On myself I'd far rather my skin wasn't showing the signs of aging and my feet were gorgeous but I don't cover up because I don't want to and I'm sick and damn tired of the subliminal and overt message that being older is something to hide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"those little things on a person's body. The things that might be considered flaws. Cellulite. Stretch marks. Darker inner thighs. A wobbly tummy. Squidge when you sit down. Body hair.
The things that might make a person cover up. Do you notice them? Do you care about them? Have you ever been put off by someone because of it?
How do you feel about them on yourself?"
Hi op
They make us who we are. Every body here is different every body is body beautiful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I notice them on others, but does it bother me? No.
Everything that makes up a person is going to include some kind of blemish or imperfection. I call it a feature. It might bother them, but it sure doesn’t bother me.m, I just see it. And the thing is, a persons personality ..
Narrator - Woody, people at groaning at this now
…will make those things unnoticeable after a time because their beauty just cover their entire person.
Me - I’ve got a mark under my eye I don’t like. My wrinkles are starting to show, I’ve never had a big chest, so I am conscious of these things.
Also, things that were said from parents when I was a child stay in my mind about my looks. So that’s a thing I still deal with. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Does anyone remember a paper printing a picture of Princess Diana leaving the gym and zooming in on her cellulite? And calling the Duchess of York the Duchess of Pork?"
That sounds very daily mail.
But to answer the OP question, do I notice, like never. If I did would I judge or put me off someone? No. But I can understand why people not feel comfortable with others seeing body marks. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Yes I notice,I don't care about them, put off is too strong a phrase for me but sexually there are types I find attractive and types I don't, socially the only thing that puts me off are personal traits.
On myself I'd far rather my skin wasn't showing the signs of aging and my feet were gorgeous but I don't cover up because I don't want to and I'm sick and damn tired of the subliminal and overt message that being older is something to hide."
Are products that helps provide the vitamins the skin needs which can be applied I'd go for natural resources then chemical. Even soaking your feet in a bucket of hot water with salt regularly helps. I'm sure you do have lovely feet x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do notice sometimes. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t but as others have said it’s never in a negative way and wouldn’t put me off someone. I might be curious as to how they got that scar that they have (not that I’d ask), or oh they have a little cellulite in the same place I do.
We all have flaws, things we hate or dislike on our body and wish we could change. We just have to accept that no one is perfect and those flaws are the things that make us unique. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone remember a paper printing a picture of Princess Diana leaving the gym and zooming in on her cellulite? And calling the Duchess of York the Duchess of Pork?"
I don't remember but I don't doubt it happened.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've put on some weight since quitting smoking, and I'm trying to learn to love the weight but I'm struggling with it. I'm reluctant to get naked with anyone because of it.
I can see what others hide. But it doesn't bother me. I get we all hide things. I think I like seeing what people like about themselves more and choose show off instead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I notice them on others, but does it bother me? No.
Everything that makes up a person is going to include some kind of blemish or imperfection. I call it a feature. It might bother them, but it sure doesn’t bother me.m, I just see it. And the thing is, a persons personality ..
Narrator - Woody, people at groaning at this now
…will make those things unnoticeable after a time because their beauty just cover their entire person.
Me - I’ve got a mark under my eye I don’t like. My wrinkles are starting to show, I’ve never had a big chest, so I am conscious of these things.
Also, things that were said from parents when I was a child stay in my mind about my looks. So that’s a thing I still deal with. "
I can completely relate to comments made by parents that still stick. |
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"Yes I notice,I don't care about them, put off is too strong a phrase for me but sexually there are types I find attractive and types I don't, socially the only thing that puts me off are personal traits.
On myself I'd far rather my skin wasn't showing the signs of aging and my feet were gorgeous but I don't cover up because I don't want to and I'm sick and damn tired of the subliminal and overt message that being older is something to hide.
Are products that helps provide the vitamins the skin needs which can be applied I'd go for natural resources then chemical. Even soaking your feet in a bucket of hot water with salt regularly helps. I'm sure you do have lovely feet x"
I'm trying to project a sexy image here, don't put pictures of me with my feet in a bucket of salty water in people's minds |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"I hardly notice them on others, or if I do it's never in a negative way.
I way more critical of myself though, it's why I always do certain angles in pics and have my hand across my stomach.
"
I wish you'd stop doing that. You have an amazing body. So sweet of me this morning to say I know |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
Generally yes I noticed them and am never put off by them but I don't study them like a painting either. I've had sex with maybe 2 women that are society's 'expectations of absolute beauty' - but realistically none of us are. Except the elite late 20s in London  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I notice them but they don’t bother me. I’m covered in scars and stretch marks and I’ve got a couple of birth marks so I’d be a massive hypocrite if they did. |
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I used to be constantly hyperaware of all my flaws. The belly jiggle, the stretch marks, every mole, every spot, the tiny tits, the missing tooth, all of it.
It was when I realised how much those things don't matter when I see them on other people whose personality sings to me that I started to stop focusing on them.
I still have those days where all I can see is the ugly and the imperfections and I get really down on myself, I'm mid hormone surge currently so it's a struggle keeping out of that space today.
But, none of it really matters. People are dumb enough to love me regardless of all of that. If they can do it, I can do it too damnit.
I am always still conscious of the belly jiggle to be fair, but 90% of the time I can accept it, it is what it is, I am what I am, and the whole is fucking glorious. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I tend to notice things, so I'd say yes to the first.
But to the second... no, I don't care and I've never been put off someone because of something like you suggest.
On me... I hate myself for so many things, and my body for so many as well... but scars, stretch marks, colouration? No.
We are conditioned to judge bodies and looks, and told (as is true) that it is unkind and unfair to judge others bodies and looks... so the conditioning dictates that we must aim that judgement somewhere. If we are kind people, we aren't going to judge others... so we judge ourselves.
That's not entirely the case all the time, and really was just a stream of consciousness thing that I haven't thought through. But I think it makes at least some sense, so I'm leaving it here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I notice those things on others. I actually like those things, they give people character and make them human. I definitely have all those things. I don't mind them on myself, I don't love them or find them particularly sexy on me but on others, I always want to reach out and stoke and kiss those areas that they may see as imperfect. |
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I’ve earned my cellulite, stretch marks, scars, saggy boobs and bumps. I feel like I could always be healthier, but I’m not ashamed of my body. It brings me a lot of pleasure.
I prefer looking at evidence of real life on other men and women too x |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
I am very self conscious of my belly. It’s what bothers me the most about my body. People I’ve been with don’t seem to care though. And if they do they’ve never said anything lol.
About 99% of the people I’ve played with are absolutely flawless in my eyes  but I am sure they have imperfections too…
If during a social or looking at photos I see something I don’t like physically then things don’t go any further…. UNLESS the connection is absolutely exceptional. That happened with a lover I had. He was just barely taller than me, and usually height is a dealbreaker for me (I know, shallow bitch etc etc etc) but it’s easily been the most intense sexual adventure I’ve had in my life. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
On other people I don't notice of see flaws. I see the person. I do notice when they try to cover things though that may make them feel more self-conscious.
On myself - I'm pretty crap and try to cover everything from the top of my arms to squidgy bits all over. It's hard to talk to ourselves as we do others - one day maybe  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some things on that list and some not on the list put me off on other people and on me.
It's not the end of the world if I don't want to fuck someone or they don't want to fuck me. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
I'm not going to reply individually, I know, shocking behaviour. Today is a tad chaotic and I don't have the spoons for it. Apologies, I know I can be bad for it.
I will say - thank you to everyone who shared how they view "flaws" in other people. Their own. I think sometimes another person can help remind you how little that means, whether that's a lover or a good friend.
It wasn't so much about it being the end of the world - of course we're all attracted to a myriad of things, we're nuanced, complex beings (yep, even you men who are told a pulse and a vagina and you're good to go). So much can affect our view on our bodies, whether that's societal pressure, parental views, unkind comments by people...
I really liked and agreed with so many points raised but this in particular spoke to me
'It was when I realised how much those things don't matter when I see them on other people whose personality sings to me that I started to stop focusing on them.'
We're all so much more than our bodies. At the same time, we don't need to hide away. Embracing who you are is a beautiful thing and one I'm learning to do more with every day.
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I'm trying to project a sexy image here, don't put pictures of me with my feet in a bucket of salty water in people's minds "
Your next profile picture  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"those little things on a person's body. The things that might be considered flaws. Cellulite. Stretch marks. Darker inner thighs. A wobbly tummy. Squidge when you sit down. Body hair.
The things that might make a person cover up. Do you notice them? Do you care about them? Have you ever been put off by someone because of it?
How do you feel about them on yourself?"
Never put me off.
And I have a fair few scars myself. They're part of someone, part of their life and if you have negative feelings about someone due to physical imperfections then they're not for you and you should step away.
Everyone has flaws.
Whether physical or emotional. Embrace your own and care not for those of others.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"those little things on a person's body. The things that might be considered flaws. Cellulite. Stretch marks. Darker inner thighs. A wobbly tummy. Squidge when you sit down. Body hair.
The things that might make a person cover up. Do you notice them? Do you care about them? Have you ever been put off by someone because of it?
How do you feel about them on yourself?
Never put me off.
And I have a fair few scars myself. They're part of someone, part of their life and if you have negative feelings about someone due to physical imperfections then they're not for you and you should step away.
Everyone has flaws.
Whether physical or emotional. Embrace your own and care not for those of others.
A"
Obi long time no see my friend x |
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"
I'm trying to project a sexy image here, don't put pictures of me with my feet in a bucket of salty water in people's minds
Your next profile picture "
I'll wager that someone would find it was a new kink |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"... it's why I always do certain angles in pics and have my hand across my stomach.
That and hiding the profile of course
The little triangle of moles (or are they freckles) is quite cute!"
I have a triangle of freckles somewhere on my body. |
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