FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Men, messages unread, read or deleted?
Men, messages unread, read or deleted?
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By *illen5 OP Man
over a year ago
Bath |
"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply "
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d prefer a reply. It’s never gonna be this way, so I’ve learned not to even check. Until now.
Even you yellow ones I assume, and have a pretty good damn inclination to believe they’ve been read anyway. 
And, does it matter? But I do use private notes, and a block button to make sure I don’t disturb them again. |
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"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed."
Haven't sent an opening message since January 2020 so I don't have any of your concerns.
I don't reply to every message I receive because some of them aren't worthy of a reply. |
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"What's your preference? Unread, still a slight hope? Deleted, at least you know. Do you ever re-message or make a private note to never bother again? Bulk deletes. How does that make you feel?"
During my first few months on Fab ,I put the time and effort into searching viewing and reading profiles then sending a well thought out message to profiles that were looking for single blokes in my age range .Yet the vast majority were never even read so now I don't message anyone . I haven't sent a nessage for over six months . After over a year on here and not one single meet , I just post on the forums as I now know its impossible as a single bloke with no meet verifications to ever have the chance to enjoy a meet on Fab.
I will admit ,during my early months on here ,when I invested time and effort into searching viewing and messaging profiles and seeing my messages go unread ,or just deleted unread ,that it makes me feel ugly and it eroded my confidence. Constant rejection does that to a person, hence the reason I stopped sending messages .
Once I realised that only single blokes with loads of meet verifications are successful on here ,that's when I stopped torturing myself, stopped letting my confidence being destroyed anymore ,and decided to stop totally destroying what was left of my self confidence and admitted defeat on here .
) |
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If I send a message that gets deleted then I block them. Purely out of spite.
Not really, I block them so I don't end up messaging again because I'd just end up forgetting that I'd already sent something.
If a message sits on read for ages then again, I'd probably hit the block button for the same reason. Maybe, occasionally I'd follow up with another message after a while, but not usually.
Often, as said above I'll delete the sent message. If I get a reply, great. If not, no problem. |
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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago
Market Harborough / Kettering |
I have now got to the point where I very rarely send messages to someone that I've never met before as they hardly ever get read and when they do they don't respond. A thanks but no thanks is polite enough. If someone wants to meet me they will send me a message  |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
how i view my messages ..
if i view but dont have time to reply ill unread it so i can reply when i get sat down...
if its one of those messages that says hi hows you / hi babes / can we fuck.. its block and delete
if they have not bothered to read my profile block and delete
if i dont fancy or feel attracted block and delete
i only reply to anyone im interested in or already know ..
years ago i use to reply to all but got fed up with the nah im not accepting that and gonna pester... or please give me a chance and the nasty and abusive now i just block and delete ...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"how i view my messages ..
if i view but dont have time to reply ill unread it so i can reply when i get sat down...
if its one of those messages that says hi hows you / hi babes / can we fuck.. its block and delete
if they have not bothered to read my profile block and delete
if i dont fancy or feel attracted block and delete
i only reply to anyone im interested in or already know ..
years ago i use to reply to all but got fed up with the nah im not accepting that and gonna pester... or please give me a chance and the nasty and abusive now i just block and delete ...
"
Hi op
I am in agreeance with this poster.
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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed."
Nope. I like to hunt for myself and there are a fare share of men out there that don't reply! |
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Personally I would prefer anything to being left read/unread. A delete, I know straight away and that's fair enough - I won't message again.
Same with the thanks but no thanks replies. Although that rarely happens |
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Aside from keeping in touch with Fab forumites and friends I've probably sent just three introductory messages in over 2½ years. I'll reply to most messages that land in my Inbox and disregard the remaining unimaginative ones. |
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I have no preference or expectation to be honest.
If deleted then I don’t message again and add a note on the profile… if unread, I may potentially message again in future, but not in the short term |
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"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed."
That’s not necessarily true.
I hope men don’t reply just for the sake of it. I hope they rather stick to their standards and preferences. Those are the men I want a reply from. |
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"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed.
That’s not necessarily true.
I hope men don’t reply just for the sake of it. I hope they rather stick to their standards and preferences. Those are the men I want a reply from."
I always reply… However, I don’t always reply to say I’m interested, sometimes I reply to politely decline.
Obviously it’s a lot easier for me to do this than it would be for women or couples, as I don’t have to deal with arsey single guys that don’t take rejection well |
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"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed.
Nope. I like to hunt for myself and there are a fare share of men out there that don't reply! "
Yes we see this too |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
I honestly don't care as long as they don't reply with a rude unnecessary response. Everyone treats them differently, sometimes a woman reads and does reply but like a week later. Sometimes they open it and don't delete but have no interest.
Theres no one set rule so I don't bother chasing up. Alot of this site is based on how good your abs look, veris (alot of women LOVE men with all the veris) and luck. |
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"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed.
That’s not necessarily true.
I hope men don’t reply just for the sake of it. I hope they rather stick to their standards and preferences. Those are the men I want a reply from.
I always reply… However, I don’t always reply to say I’m interested, sometimes I reply to politely decline.
Obviously it’s a lot easier for me to do this than it would be for women or couples, as I don’t have to deal with arsey single guys that don’t take rejection well "
Fair point.
Just to point out it’s not only some single guys that don’t take rejection well. |
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They're all different. I usually send a no thanks because I know most will sit and watch their stupid outbox. Occasionally that means I get an extra shitty then why reply stupid message and a block, but at least that's the trash taking itself out  |
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Prefer an reply or a delete rather than a yellow message.
I then block so I don't send to them again. If it stays yellow for a few days I delete but don't block.
I appreciate that with literally 100s of messages women don't have time to read them all let alone reply to all. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"What's your preference? Unread, still a slight hope? Deleted, at least you know. Do you ever re-message or make a private note to never bother again? Bulk deletes. How does that make you feel?"
Honestly not bothered.
Once a message is sent it's sent. What happens next isn't on ne, it's on them.
I don't look at the sent folder ever.
If a reply comes in? All good. Whether it's a response of 'no thanks' or a continuation of a chat.
If its deleted I'll never know.
If I stumble across a profile and see I've messaged them before I'll never send another.
Worry about your own inbox. You can't influence other peoples.
A |
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I don’t usually send the 1st message (it’s not unheard of but rare), I will respond up until I no longer receive a response, but I’m pretty much fire and forget. If, whilst engage in a conversation, I don’t get a reply to a message sent, I don’t send a chaser, it just means that they’re not that into me.
Once in every while I’ll go through my sent box and delete all those that have been deleted (also deleting the inbox messages from that person), but I’m really not here to do admin |
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"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed."
lol oh well if they don't reply they don't reply i just delete everything, its a pleasant surprise then if i get a message  |
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"I don’t usually send the 1st message (it’s not unheard of but rare), I will respond up until I no longer receive a response, but I’m pretty much fire and forget. If, whilst engage in a conversation, I don’t get a reply to a message sent, I don’t send a chaser, it just means that they’re not that into me.
Once in every while I’ll go through my sent box and delete all those that have been deleted (also deleting the inbox messages from that person), but I’m really not here to do admin "
•
This take it or leave it approach works well for some people. Thank you, Mr Devon.  |
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"I don't care either way... I just wish that women didn't automatically assume I want to fuck them because we're having a conversation. "
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You just want to make love to them instead?  I like your style. |
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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago
Sheffield |
"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed.
That’s not necessarily true.
I hope men don’t reply just for the sake of it. I hope they rather stick to their standards and preferences. Those are the men I want a reply from."
you totally misunderstand the situation on fab . Men can't afford to be anything like as picky as women can he. It's the numbers situation and always will be. It's a rare day indeed for a guy to recieve a reply, let alone a message out of the blue. |
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"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed.
That’s not necessarily true.
I hope men don’t reply just for the sake of it. I hope they rather stick to their standards and preferences. Those are the men I want a reply from. you totally misunderstand the situation on fab . Men can't afford to be anything like as picky as women can he. It's the numbers situation and always will be. It's a rare day indeed for a guy to receive a reply, let alone a message out of the blue."
I hope this was said in jest? I couldn't give a hoot about the numbers/ratio thing, I'll remain as 'picky' as I've always been, thank you.  |
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"What's your preference? Unread, still a slight hope? Deleted, at least you know. Do you ever re-message or make a private note to never bother again? Bulk deletes. How does that make you feel?"
If the person is online, and deletes my message straight away, I reckon they've read it, but weren't interested. Block and move on.
If a message is read some time later, but no answer, a private note to re-message another time, and add to hotlist.
How can you tell if you've been bulk deleted?
Best advice is to only message someone while they're online, that way at least, you'll be somewhere near the top of the pile..... |
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"I’d prefer a reply. It’s never gonna be this way, so I’ve learned not to even check. Until now.
Even you yellow ones I assume, and have a pretty good damn inclination to believe they’ve been read anyway.
And, does it matter? But I do use private notes, and a block button to make sure I don’t disturb them again. "
Exactly this, and if you have been on here for awhile, you build up a good instinct |
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"Just randomly, but inspired by a post in this thread...
If I read a message and then mark it as unread, does the sender see it as read? Or unread? "
The sender will see it as unread, as I once saw a message flip from read to unread, before my eyes  |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed.
That’s not necessarily true.
I hope men don’t reply just for the sake of it. I hope they rather stick to their standards and preferences. Those are the men I want a reply from."
this 100% people should have standards and preferences that includes men too ... i want nothing to do with anyone not just men but anyone who will fuck anyone anything anywhere makes my skin crawl so back to men as i only meet men those who openly state they will meet anyone as long as you;ve a hole to put your cock in ill block in a instant and those who you see at clubs or socials private parties that do the same yuk total turn off .... everyone should have standards or it just shows desperation and desperation to me and many others is a massive turn off |
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"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed.
That’s not necessarily true.
I hope men don’t reply just for the sake of it. I hope they rather stick to their standards and preferences. Those are the men I want a reply from. you totally misunderstand the situation on fab . Men can't afford to be anything like as picky as women can he. It's the numbers situation and always will be. It's a rare day indeed for a guy to recieve a reply, let alone a message out of the blue."
That may be your experience but it's certainly not mine.
Every conversation I've had on here in the last 3½ years has been started by someone else and I can assure you I'm extremely picky. Possibly more so than some women.
I don't reply to every message because it's obvious that we may have nothing in common and some of them are no better than the crap that men are always accused of sending.
I've said no twice as much as I've said yes on here in 7 years. |
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To the people who just ignore messages, delete then and not bother to read or acknowledge them - when you're in a club or a social do you blindly ignore someone who says hello because you have no interest in them? I'm genuinely curious if behaviour changes depending on the physical situation.
I understand that if someone sends a message containing abuse or unsolicited filth of any kind then yes, ignore it, but if someone has taken the time to read a profile, understand it, respect what you're asking and then send a message containing what you've asked for etc, don't you think it's a bit shitty to just disregard it out of hand?
We're basically promoting a culture of ignorance by doing that.
I'll stick to reading messages and responding accordingly. It's not as if we have to pay to send a reply. |
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"To the people who just ignore messages, delete then and not bother to read or acknowledge them - when you're in a club or a social do you blindly ignore someone who says hello because you have no interest in them? I'm genuinely curious if behaviour changes depending on the physical situation.
I understand that if someone sends a message containing abuse or unsolicited filth of any kind then yes, ignore it, but if someone has taken the time to read a profile, understand it, respect what you're asking and then send a message containing what you've asked for etc, don't you think it's a bit shitty to just disregard it out of hand?
We're basically promoting a culture of ignorance by doing that.
I'll stick to reading messages and responding accordingly. It's not as if we have to pay to send a reply. "
I can only speak for myself but yes when I've been at group socials and someone I've no interest in or someone I don't like because of their forum attitude tries to start a conversation I do ignore them.
For me it's not a matter of being rude in those situations because I know from experience how some of them like to manipulate the narrative and I've no interest in playing their games.
Message wise I don't get very many. Probably a handful in total this year so far but again I take the same approach when deciding to reply or not.
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"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply "
I thought if you deleted your sent messages before they’re read it removes them from the other persons inbox?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
Surely men almost always reply...unless they've had a coronary. After all, it's a special day indeed when a man has been noticed.
Nope. I like to hunt for myself and there are a fare share of men out there that don't reply! "
They must be crazy. |
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"I delete my sent messages as soon as I send them
Save all this fuss about wondering if people have read/deleted
If someone is interested they'll reply
I thought if you deleted your sent messages before they’re read it removes them from the other persons inbox??"
Sadly not! |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Have noticed it's only men that seen to hyperfixate on whether their messages have been read or not! "
I think that's probably because of the difference in numbers on this site, rather than anything more. Women do hyperfixate on it, especially away from the site - for example, my friend who bemoans a man for having the audacity to not read her message as soon as she sends it.
I think women are far less likely to start a thread about it (evidently) but they do it. Without a shadow of a doubt. |
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