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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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When it comes to meeting others on here, what do you consider hoops? From first contact to having sex.
Have you been put off meeting someone because it felt like you had to jump through hoops? Whether that's having a social with them, mentioning a word etc.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there’s two ways to look at this.
Is it spontaneous or is it planned?
Most of us have “hoops”
Work
Childcare
Life in general
Partners if they have them, especially if they don’t know
Money for a social or hotel etc
Travel time and distance
Social before anything or no social
Etc etc
Then add general attraction.
I find that sometimes back and forward messaging for weeks stays just as that, if you genuinely want to meet someone you can find a way.
But then if they make “demands”, I’m out |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I think there’s two ways to look at this.
Is it spontaneous or is it planned?
Most of us have “hoops”
Work
Childcare
Life in general
Partners if they have them, especially if they don’t know
Money for a social or hotel etc
Travel time and distance
Social before anything or no social
Etc etc
Then add general attraction.
I find that sometimes back and forward messaging for weeks stays just as that, if you genuinely want to meet someone you can find a way.
But then if they make “demands”, I’m out"
I came to say exactly this.
Hoops are part of life. Demands are optional.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Exactly as people have said above, there’s a bit of planning that goes into it for us with childcare and work etc so there are some hoops.
But as also said above, demands are different and we definitely don’t like being given a list of demands we have to meet just to engage with someone 
Mr |
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My biggest hoop is distance. I don't drive, so I'm looking for local people because I don't want to put people further away to have to pick me up and drop me back. I know that the more hoops there are, the less likely it is to turn into regular and ongoing. |
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That would depend Meli. Too many variations to give a definitive answer. To be fair I don't tend to want to know someone else's hoops.... they can either make it or they can't. I don't tend to discuss my 'hoops', I can either make it or I can't.
Just making a date and not listening to the baggage helps a lot.
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Taking all the things like alignment of dates due to other things going on in life, some hoops we’d jump through more depending on whether we felt they were doing the same.
If the hoops felt more like barriers or blockers then we’d walk away.
If everyone wants the same outcome then both sides move to make it happen.
K
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I think there’s two ways to look at this.
Is it spontaneous or is it planned?
Most of us have “hoops”
Work
Childcare
Life in general
Partners if they have them, especially if they don’t know
Money for a social or hotel etc
Travel time and distance
Social before anything or no social
Etc etc
Then add general attraction.
I find that sometimes back and forward messaging for weeks stays just as that, if you genuinely want to meet someone you can find a way.
But then if they make “demands”, I’m out"
I'd never considered these hoops before, well not until recently. It's interesting that others see these as hoops as well.
Demands are different - most people wouldn't entertain demands (or so I'd like to think). |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Oh  I was hoping this was for Hula hoops.
Let me down here, Meli. LET DOWN AND DISAPPOINTMENT! "
I'll do a thread on Hula hoops for you soon Kai. Even add in a little dedication to you.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When it comes to meeting others on here, what do you consider hoops? From first contact to having sex.
Have you been put off meeting someone because it felt like you had to jump through hoops? Whether that's having a social with them, mentioning a word etc.
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Interesting question. I've never wanted to meet anyone so much that it felt like hoops. If their wants don't match mine it doesn't work.
I have demands such as social only first. If they hint at anything else it's game over. If I get a feeling of anything at all untoward, also game over.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t see anything as “hoops” I more see it as a willingness to meet and effort and how much the person really wants it nothing is a challenge or in less we make it a challenge nothing is out off reach or in less we make it out off reach |
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My life circumstances imposed hoops galore on me, hoops in Fab terms.
I am single working parent
I won’t accommodate (by choice)
I don’t drive
I have virtually no free time
My funds are limited
I have menopause related health issues
Yet I don’t see them as a problem, but I am totally aware others do.
I am very honest from the beginning though and I enjoy the little bits of Fab life I get. |
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Honestly thought this was going to be like the hoops ring-toss game, throwing hoops onto a hard cock 
But yeah, people always have conditions for meets, us included, we won't just drop everything and go to your house, hotel or invite people round unless we have met them first. We go to clubs, meets are posted so people know where we are and we invite people to introduce themselves. Sometimes we may meet in a local pub first if they don't go to clubs. Filters out timewasters and people only interested in wank chat. Almost everyone else wouldn't have a problem meeting somewhere first. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"My biggest hoop is distance. I don't drive, so I'm looking for local people because I don't want to put people further away to have to pick me up and drop me back. I know that the more hoops there are, the less likely it is to turn into regular and ongoing."
I'd not really thought about that as a hoop as such but that makes perfect sense! Yes, if you're looking regular I guess that location will play into it because even with all the best will in the world, too far and it's unlikely to become regular. |
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We definitely have to plan and usually in advance, childcare and all isn't easy for us.
It has put people off and that's fine we want more of a connection so if people want a quick hook up & don't want to wait then there not for us anyway.
I think most people have hoops of some kind be it work, family etc..
Mrs |
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"We definitely have to plan and usually in advance, childcare and all isn't easy for us.
It has put people off and that's fine we want more of a connection so if people want a quick hook up & don't want to wait then there not for us anyway.
I think most people have hoops of some kind be it work, family etc..
Mrs "
Anyone who has kids of their own would never consider childcare issue for other people as a hoop, we aren't machines and we have real lives. It wouldn't put us off at all x |
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Not hoops as such but as soon as I see the word 'must' preceding 'have' or 'be' more than twice and in upper case on a profile, I'm out.
Everyone has conditions they need fulfilled or we'd all be meeting everyone who asked. Demanding won't endear me to you though. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Nice hoop on you op 
Have you jumped through it, Prof?
I’m in it right now, Ricky.
It’s a hula’va hoop.
^The Prof's cock-a-hoop."
The pair of you are... I can't wait until you're in a room together. I'll leave it at that. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Hoops to me on fab are not things that can make it awkward to sort a meet out between people who want to meet,like free time,childcare etc.
To me it's when people make demands like you have to do a video call ( which I never do as I hate them),or you have to send pics to prove to them you are real.(if they can't tell from my profile I am real I'm not wasting my time proving it ). Or you have to meet where they choose only.Or they want you to accommodate them even though you don't know them well enough.
There's lots of things like this that I see as others making people jump through hoops to meet. I don't expect anyone to do it nor will I jump through any for people either. If we get on well and we meet for a coffee and a chat and see where things go.
If someone wants everything on their own terms only then I stop chatting. |
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"Nice hoop on you op
Have you jumped through it, Prof?
I’m in it right now, Ricky.
It’s a hula’va hoop.
^The Prof's cock-a-hoop.
The pair of you are... I can't wait until you're in a room together. I'll leave it at that."
Then he'll be cock-a-leaky  |
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