FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Realising how tough it is
Realising how tough it is
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I joined fab as a single guy 2 months ago after being on here as a couple for 2 years.
I've had a handful of messages from woman and couples, nothing to shout about.
My X who is now my FWB  joined 4 days ago. She showed me she had over 900 messages and over 100 friend requests.
Talking to her last night at about 2am, she already had 300 views since midnight.
I take it these numbers are normal for woman and most couples. As a couple we had high number of messages and requests but not 800 in 4 days.
How the hell do you deal with that! Do you do a mass delete, leave them, scan through them or do you open them all?
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"I joined fab as a single guy 2 months ago after being on here as a couple for 2 years.
I've had a handful of messages from woman and couples, nothing to shout about.
My X who is now my FWB joined 4 days ago. She showed me she had over 900 messages and over 100 friend requests.
Talking to her last night at about 2am, she already had 300 views since midnight.
I take it these numbers are normal for woman and most couples. As a couple we had high number of messages and requests but not 800 in 4 days.
How the hell do you deal with that! Do you do a mass delete, leave them, scan through them or do you open them all?
"
Those vaginas man, they are the last bid at the auction! |
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"I joined fab as a single guy 2 months ago after being on here as a couple for 2 years.
I've had a handful of messages from woman and couples, nothing to shout about.
My X who is now my FWB joined 4 days ago. She showed me she had over 900 messages and over 100 friend requests.
Talking to her last night at about 2am, she already had 300 views since midnight.
I take it these numbers are normal for woman and most couples. As a couple we had high number of messages and requests but not 800 in 4 days.
How the hell do you deal with that! Do you do a mass delete, leave them, scan through them or do you open them all?
"
Bloody Nora... on a good day i get 200 ish views... I will generally try to reply to all messages |
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If you don't know what you're doing it's awful. (It does settle down for many people after you've been on for awhile)
If you do know what you're doing - narrow "wish list", tight filters, be ruthless |
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"Turn off "looking for". Don't post photos or status. = no messages.  "
My filters are set to no men, no women, no couples, no trans people - that's the way to *guarantee* no unsolicited messages. Been working for 3.5 years now  |
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It's highest when you first join. It dips after, but then will go up if you post a new pic especially a face pic. It also depends on age location and level of attractiveness. But yes fab is a totally different experience. For men it's waiting for that elusive reply. For women it's wading through gunk to find a message from that elusive person who has read our profile and fits what we are looking for - 5 to 10 % of our messages are this so maybe 2 a day? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Turn off "looking for". Don't post photos or status. = no messages.
My filters are set to no men, no women, no couples, no trans people - that's the way to *guarantee* no unsolicited messages. Been working for 3.5 years now "
I keep the other filters open so in theory anyone can message me from the forum. I like to be open for the mental health threads etc. turning off "looking for" men has made the biggest difference for me. It's so relaxing! |
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"Turn off "looking for". Don't post photos or status. = no messages.
My filters are set to no men, no women, no couples, no trans people - that's the way to *guarantee* no unsolicited messages. Been working for 3.5 years now
I keep the other filters open so in theory anyone can message me from the forum. I like to be open for the mental health threads etc. turning off "looking for" men has made the biggest difference for me. It's so relaxing!"
Fair enough. I'm being more ruthless about "no you can't message me" and agreed - it's fabulous. The way Fab ought to be. Being left alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By the time I’ve deleted silhouettes, dick pic avatars, guys young enough for me to ge their parent, and opening lines straight from a masturbatory fantasy my inbox is pretty empty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By the time I’ve deleted silhouettes, dick pic avatars, guys young enough for me to ge their parent, and opening lines straight from a masturbatory fantasy my inbox is pretty empty. "
I rarely get even them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By the time I’ve deleted silhouettes, dick pic avatars, guys young enough for me to ge their parent, and opening lines straight from a masturbatory fantasy my inbox is pretty empty.
I rarely get even them!"
Status that we were desperate was a phyrric effort |
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"By the time I’ve deleted silhouettes, dick pic avatars, guys young enough for me to ge their parent, and opening lines straight from a masturbatory fantasy my inbox is pretty empty. "
Most of this used to be my experience. It's one reason why I prefer a big fat bunch of nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By the time I’ve deleted silhouettes, dick pic avatars, guys young enough for me to ge their parent, and opening lines straight from a masturbatory fantasy my inbox is pretty empty.
Most of this used to be my experience. It's one reason why I prefer a big fat bunch of nothing "
It’s like going shopping for muller fruit corners and coming out with patio furniture, sink unblocker and a large bag of basmati rice. Not what I wanted but validates the trip to Tesco. Sort of. |
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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
We are a couple and don’t get a lot of messages. We always reply to messages but obviously if we were getting hundreds we would struggle. As someone says after a while people know your profile so stop messaging if previously rejected.
If we block guys we get around one message a month. It must be our age or attractiveness and the fact that in one area there aren’t a lot of couples looking for straight couples.
So you definitely can cut down on messages after time. |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
I definitely suggest using message filters!
If you see a profile that interests you, you can either wink or message them and that bypasses the filters.
I sometimes turn my filters off for a while, until I have had enough  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By the time I’ve deleted silhouettes, dick pic avatars, guys young enough for me to ge their parent, and opening lines straight from a masturbatory fantasy my inbox is pretty empty.
Most of this used to be my experience. It's one reason why I prefer a big fat bunch of nothing
It’s like going shopping for muller fruit corners and coming out with patio furniture, sink unblocker and a large bag of basmati rice. Not what I wanted but validates the trip to Tesco. Sort of. "
See if we are talking of life off of here this was me earlier. Went to Tesco for my lunches this week and walked out with a television, yes I did pay for it!! |
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"By the time I’ve deleted silhouettes, dick pic avatars, guys young enough for me to ge their parent, and opening lines straight from a masturbatory fantasy my inbox is pretty empty.
Most of this used to be my experience. It's one reason why I prefer a big fat bunch of nothing
It’s like going shopping for muller fruit corners and coming out with patio furniture, sink unblocker and a large bag of basmati rice. Not what I wanted but validates the trip to Tesco. Sort of. "
For me it's like going shopping for apples and trying to find a single edible apple among an ill assorted pile of mouldy fruit, garden furniture and leaking bleach |
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We get quite a few messages and on the odd occasion it's been open to men it's overwhelming and just no way we could go through them all. It can sometimes feel like a second job on here with all the back and forth, God knows how some women cope with it  x |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
I'm amazed women stay longer than a few months given the level of abuse I've seen in women's inboxes. Being able to report is one thing but I'm not sure enough are aware of it. Fab is either dust-bowl dry or raining meets.
Having said that, some women crave attention and constantly update status's as if this is fb or twitter only to increase messages. I suppose that's how/why you get fake accounts exploiting people and them buying it. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I have zero messages.
Oh now I have one.
I'll read it and reply.
I only have one because my filters are screwed down tight and I answer my messages as soon as I'm able.
If I open my filters I'll close them if I can't keep up.
I don't want 100s of unopened messages cluttering up my inbox. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men have the thirst.
Not all men Nanna 
Of course not.
Just the thousands who sit in people's inboxes, waiting to be read and replied to by people who don't use filters."
People don't do that!?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I joined fab as a single guy 2 months ago after being on here as a couple for 2 years.
I've had a handful of messages from woman and couples, nothing to shout about.
….
"
Nobody likes a show off. 
Tell your ‘friend’ to sort their filters out. And if they don’t know how, look at many other profiles to see how they are able to stop me from messaging asking if we match up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I joined fab as a single guy 2 months ago after being on here as a couple for 2 years.
I've had a handful of messages from woman and couples, nothing to shout about.
My X who is now my FWB joined 4 days ago. She showed me she had over 900 messages and over 100 friend requests.
Talking to her last night at about 2am, she already had 300 views since midnight.
I take it these numbers are normal for woman and most couples. As a couple we had high number of messages and requests but not 800 in 4 days.
How the hell do you deal with that! Do you do a mass delete, leave them, scan through them or do you open them all?
"
Filters make a huge difference. Or state on profile your preferences. If you been here before like many returners,you should be a pro. |
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"I joined fab as a single guy 2 months ago after being on here as a couple for 2 years.
I've had a handful of messages from woman and couples, nothing to shout about.
My X who is now my FWB joined 4 days ago. She showed me she had over 900 messages and over 100 friend requests.
Talking to her last night at about 2am, she already had 300 views since midnight.
I take it these numbers are normal for woman and most couples. As a couple we had high number of messages and requests but not 800 in 4 days.
How the hell do you deal with that! Do you do a mass delete, leave them, scan through them or do you open them all?
"
Awash in a sea of cock......that's good old supply n demand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"By the time I’ve deleted silhouettes, dick pic avatars, guys young enough for me to ge their parent, and opening lines straight from a masturbatory fantasy my inbox is pretty empty.
Most of this used to be my experience. It's one reason why I prefer a big fat bunch of nothing
It’s like going shopping for muller fruit corners and coming out with patio furniture, sink unblocker and a large bag of basmati rice. Not what I wanted but validates the trip to Tesco. Sort of.
See if we are talking of life off of here this was me earlier. Went to Tesco for my lunches this week and walked out with a television, yes I did pay for it!!"
All good until you start watching foodie programmes on the new tele… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"By the time I’ve deleted silhouettes, dick pic avatars, guys young enough for me to ge their parent, and opening lines straight from a masturbatory fantasy my inbox is pretty empty.
Most of this used to be my experience. It's one reason why I prefer a big fat bunch of nothing
It’s like going shopping for muller fruit corners and coming out with patio furniture, sink unblocker and a large bag of basmati rice. Not what I wanted but validates the trip to Tesco. Sort of.
See if we are talking of life off of here this was me earlier. Went to Tesco for my lunches this week and walked out with a television, yes I did pay for it!!
All good until you start watching foodie programmes on the new tele…"
You stalking me!?!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"By the time I’ve deleted silhouettes, dick pic avatars, guys young enough for me to ge their parent, and opening lines straight from a masturbatory fantasy my inbox is pretty empty.
Most of this used to be my experience. It's one reason why I prefer a big fat bunch of nothing
It’s like going shopping for muller fruit corners and coming out with patio furniture, sink unblocker and a large bag of basmati rice. Not what I wanted but validates the trip to Tesco. Sort of.
See if we are talking of life off of here this was me earlier. Went to Tesco for my lunches this week and walked out with a television, yes I did pay for it!!
All good until you start watching foodie programmes on the new tele…
You stalking me!?!?"
Pay no attention to the drone which has entirely coincidentally been on the same flight path as your movements. |
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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago
Sheffield |
"That is why I think that it is best to let the ladies send the first message as well "
This worked best for me too. Sensing a message most always got ignored or deleted and became a waste of time.
Worked best for me by posting a pic or two and then waiting for messages or winks. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Men have the thirst.
Not all men Nanna
Of course not.
Just the thousands who sit in people's inboxes, waiting to be read and replied to by people who don't use filters.
People don't do that!?! "
Apparently not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I joined fab as a single guy 2 months ago after being on here as a couple for 2 years.
I've had a handful of messages from woman and couples, nothing to shout about.
My X who is now my FWB joined 4 days ago. She showed me she had over 900 messages and over 100 friend requests.
Talking to her last night at about 2am, she already had 300 views since midnight.
I take it these numbers are normal for woman and most couples. As a couple we had high number of messages and requests but not 800 in 4 days.
How the hell do you deal with that! Do you do a mass delete, leave them, scan through them or do you open them all?
"
Happens ...the ratio here is the way it is , single women will always get more of everything here..winks .messages..profile looks etc ..as the song says " it's just the way it is " |
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"As a man I’m just throwing stones into the ocean hoping to change the tide. The odds are comparable.
Agreed just something you have to expect and accept..."
In an average ‘shot’ of ejaculate, there are 55 million sperm, all trying to fertilise that one egg. One sperm does. He just swims and tries that little bit harder…..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"That is why I think that it is best to let the ladies send the first message as well
This worked best for me too. Sensing a message most always got ignored or deleted and became a waste of time.
Worked best for me by posting a pic or two and then waiting for messages or winks. "
Must admit I do a perv at local updates, so I agree with the above.
There are ways of making your inbox hot OP. Putting a suggestive status update, or adding new pics will guarantee a lot of interest. So keeping things on more of a down low will slow the messaging tide! |
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"As a man I’m just throwing stones into the ocean hoping to change the tide. The odds are comparable.
Agreed just something you have to expect and accept...
In an average ‘shot’ of ejaculate, there are 55 million sperm, all trying to fertilise that one egg. One sperm does. He just swims and tries that little bit harder….. "
Or actually stops and asks for directions |
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"Fab is tough  very very tough
So tough being a man! Ladies have no idea what it's like to carry a burden of a ballbag with you everywhere, weighing you down!"
As well as the burden of rejection. It breaks my heart having to part with £5 every month for the privilege of being rejected |
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"Turn off "looking for". Don't post photos or status. = no messages.
My filters are set to no men, no women, no couples, no trans people - that's the way to *guarantee* no unsolicited messages. Been working for 3.5 years now
I keep the other filters open so in theory anyone can message me from the forum. I like to be open for the mental health threads etc. turning off "looking for" men has made the biggest difference for me. It's so relaxing!"
I do this |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"Fab is tough very very tough
So tough being a man! Ladies have no idea what it's like to carry a burden of a ballbag with you everywhere, weighing you down!
As well as the burden of rejection. It breaks my heart having to part with £5 every month for the privilege of being rejected "
It's almost like they just want ego boosts |
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"Fab is tough very very tough
So tough being a man! Ladies have no idea what it's like to carry a burden of a ballbag with you everywhere, weighing you down!
As well as the burden of rejection. It breaks my heart having to part with £5 every month for the privilege of being rejected
It's almost like they just want ego boosts "
Well who doesn't like their ego stroked lol |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"Fab is tough very very tough
So tough being a man! Ladies have no idea what it's like to carry a burden of a ballbag with you everywhere, weighing you down!
As well as the burden of rejection. It breaks my heart having to part with £5 every month for the privilege of being rejected
It's almost like they just want ego boosts
Well who doesn't like their ego stroked lol"
I prefer you know, being stroked on all the skin |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's tough for women on here as well. You need to separate the real men with those that just want to wank and fantasise. It's much better to get out to a club to meet people that are serious. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the two extremes. Men tend to have to try hard to get anywhere yet women literally get bombarded.
Mind the admin work for women on here is unreal. I wouldn't do it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a woman, it really, really, isn't hard to control your inbox.
The amount of women that complain then you look at their profile, oh there's tits and pussy galore. Geeee I wonder why..... |
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"Fab is tough very very tough
So tough being a man! Ladies have no idea what it's like to carry a burden of a ballbag with you everywhere, weighing you down!
As well as the burden of rejection. It breaks my heart having to part with £5 every month for the privilege of being rejected
It's almost like they just want ego boosts
Well who doesn't like their ego stroked lol
I prefer you know, being stroked on all the skin"
Well I'm sure that can be arranged |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Surely it's a case of managing your filters?
But what women boast I mean complain about then?
If your 'that' popular, how do you sort the wheat from the chaff?  "
Stop posting pictures of your tits, stop going on about how much you wanna be fucked and I don't know, block men and message those you like?
But who'd do that. |
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"Surely it's a case of managing your filters?
But what women boast I mean complain about then?
If your 'that' popular, how do you sort the wheat from the chaff?
Stop posting pictures of your tits, stop going on about how much you wanna be fucked and I don't know, block men and message those you like?
But who'd do that. "
Err....isn't that the point of the site? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely it's a case of managing your filters?
But what women boast I mean complain about then?
If your 'that' popular, how do you sort the wheat from the chaff?
Stop posting pictures of your tits, stop going on about how much you wanna be fucked and I don't know, block men and message those you like?
But who'd do that.
Err....isn't that the point of the site? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can't remember the last time I opened my inbox. When you've been here a while, you realise it's mostly just junk mail and the only messages you like are the ones from the hidden gems you get to know.
I get a lot of messages each day but I'm open with most of my filters and have uploaded a few pictures recently so that's why. |
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"I can't remember the last time I opened my inbox. When you've been here a while, you realise it's mostly just junk mail and the only messages you like are the ones from the hidden gems you get to know.
I get a lot of messages each day but I'm open with most of my filters and have uploaded a few pictures recently so that's why."
My sonnet sequence comparing your breasts to every mountain, hill, and contour on the large-scale Ordnance Survey map series remains unsent for this very dispiriting reason. |
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