Hi Everyone,
Bit of a long shot but I’m considering becoming a dominatrix, I am a complete novice and know nothing about how to start up so I’m wondering if there are any lovely ladies out there that would be willing to give me some advice or if local to me even let me be an apprentice to you for a while?
I’ve been seriously considering this for a while and I’m not looking to rush into it so would really appreciate any advice from you guys.
Thank you in advance xx |
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"Thinking about it I would say a bit Dom and sub, I’ve never done anything more than spank or peg someone, someone has said that you’re either Dom or not, do you think that’s right? "
Yes, it's not something you can learn, it's either in your nature or it's not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi Everyone,
Bit of a long shot but I’m considering becoming a dominatrix, I am a complete novice and know nothing about how to start up so I’m wondering if there are any lovely ladies out there that would be willing to give me some advice or if local to me even let me be an apprentice to you for a while?
I’ve been seriously considering this for a while and I’m not looking to rush into it so would really appreciate any advice from you guys.
Thank you in advance xx"
Why do you want to be a dominatrix? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thinking about it I would say a bit Dom and sub, I’ve never done anything more than spank or peg someone, someone has said that you’re either Dom or not, do you think that’s right? "
Switches exist. You can be both. Dominants can enjoy submissive acts and subs can enjoy Toppy ones.
As for training, my advise would be to read and learn as much as you can to figure out your wants, needs and boundaries before approaching people for in person training. Attending munches and finding a community is the best way to find likeminded people who know what they're doing. Those are the people to best advise you and help you to learn more or to point you in the right direction for classes.
New people can easily become shark bait for fake doms. Learning the basics, knowing what you won't do, recognising red flags in both Doms and subs will keep you safer. |
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You could start by going to femdom events, like others mentioned. I have seen many dommes teaching others tips and tricks. If you could get friendly with someone, you could probably join together for a dungeon session for learning.
If you are interested in ropes, I recommend going to anatomie studios. They have classes for it. I haven't been there, but heard good things from people who have been. |
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" I’m considering becoming a dominatrix "
Was going to send a message, however that is not possible.
A basic understanding of bdsm and the craft is vital if this is a career path you wish to take.
Knowledge is everything, skills can be taught and honed.
Risk assessment, first aid and client after care are key skills you need to learn along with basic principles of SSC and RACK.
Thats before you even pick up a whip!
There are a plethora of books, websites, videos help you gain knowledge.
After that, you need to be present and active in the local bdsm, network, go to seminars and events, watch learn. Practice, practice, practice.
There will be local dungeons who take on new dominants were you can be mentored by more experienced individuals.
Just remember your safety and the safety of your clients are paramount.
Amelia xx
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Thank you so much everyone for giving your time and responding. So much to consider with so many avenues to explore. Obviously a lot more than I was expecting and I’m more naive than I thought.
A lot to think about, thank you, much appreciated xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm assuming you want to do this professionally?
There are many things to consider if this is the case. As mentioned before you need to have the right attitude to be a Domme. If you are not enjoying what you do then clients will pick up on your "role playing" and not book further sessions. A successful dominatrix relies on regular clients. It is expensive. Quality equipment is costly. You can "wish list" small items but the furniture is often bespoke and costs a fortune. Dungeon hire is always an option.
If you're working from home you have the issue of "nosy neighbours"
Arranging clients can be incredibly time consuming. For every 10 bookings maybe 1 might show. I recommend taking a non refunded deposit. Some people will only want to deal in cash to hide a paper trail. Being a dominatrix is not just about dressing up sexy (oh, I forgot the cost of clothing) and caning a few behinds. Subs can be incredibly demanding, needy and exhausting too.
People mentioned attending events to meet people. This lifestyle will see you doing a lot of that to network. Also need to maintain your own websites and advertise yourself on others. Then there is the legal side. All BDSM activities that leave a mark can technically be considered ABH or GBH. It's rare that those in the lifestyle would press assault charges but it is something you are leaving yourself vulnerable to.
I am not a pro Domme by the way. I've encountered a few of these problems as a lifestyle Domme. Subs can be a lot of hard work. Totally worth it when you find the right ones x
Wish you the best of luck with your journey. |
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