FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Self confidence

Self confidence

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its getting better the longer im on here, think I have grown

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes.

Hope that helped.

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

It comes and goes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m pretty self confident for a short fat bloke. I know what I bring to the table and in my head that should be more than enough for anyone,

no matter how good looking they or their precious sexual partners are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Its getting better the longer im on here, think I have grown

Mine is going the more I'm on here!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sometimes.

Sometimes.

Hope that helped.

Hugely, I need no more replies.

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

I’m not sure I’ve got self confidence on here, perhaps I’m just better at ignoring my lack of confidence, if that makes sense?

Stopping yourself from doing something enjoyable is bad, I hope you find a way past it.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

Maybe the super hot person disappointed them.

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

"It comes and goes.

Sorry, didn't read all the OP

I've met hot men, so them meeting hot women wouldn't have bothered me, until a few years ago.

Now, I doubt anyone who has sex with hot women would look twice at me. That's not because of lack of self-confidence; it's me being realistic.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple over a year ago

Southampton

"Its getting better the longer im on here, think I have grown

Mine is going the more I'm on here!"

Same here xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I keep putting myself out there a lot. I’m pretty introverted and I struggle with new people.

I am super shy around new people and I turn into an awkward potato. I have, a few times in the last few weeks, squashed things that were going well because I decided the guy was too hot for me.

I was previously in an abusive relationship and I struggle accepting that people might actually like me. I, for the most part, assume that people are just being polite. I go to therapy but it’s 20 years I need to re write. It will take time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes

Yes unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m pretty self confident for a short fat bloke. I know what I bring to the table and in my head that should be more than enough for anyone,

no matter how good looking they or their precious sexual partners are."

You're ok for a Geordie

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I keep putting myself out there a lot. I’m pretty introverted and I struggle with new people.

I am super shy around new people and I turn into an awkward potato. I have, a few times in the last few weeks, squashed things that were going well because I decided the guy was too hot for me.

Quiz cards.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Eh, I guess in some ways yes. When it comes to how I look, not really. And it definitely puts me off meeting people because I know I'm disappointing in many ways.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Honestly for me confidence does not come on here. It’s not to do with meets or lack of or anything, it’s more to do with watching how people interact with others.

Seeing how you can say something and it’s taken apart by others for no real reason. If it was like that face to face it would not be tolerated but here it is

So no, for me, confidence does not grow here. What does is the small percentage of people who make it worthwhile

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m not sure I’ve got self confidence on here, perhaps I’m just better at ignoring my lack of confidence, if that makes sense?

Stopping yourself from doing something enjoyable is bad, I hope you find a way past it."

Is it though? If it leads to feeling even worse about yourself?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It comes and goes.

Sorry, didn't read all the OP

I've met hot men, so them meeting hot women wouldn't have bothered me, until a few years ago.

Now, I doubt anyone who has sex with hot women would look twice at me. That's not because of lack of self-confidence; it's me being realistic.

Your do for me nana

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I need to stop checking veris. If I see they’ve met with someone I think is more attractive, nicer body etc I immediately think why would they want me? and talk myself out of it.

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By *estarossa.Woman over a year ago

Flagrante

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

Maybe

I would shag your cast offs yes!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m pretty self confident for a short fat bloke. I know what I bring to the table and in my head that should be more than enough for anyone,

no matter how good looking they or their precious sexual partners are.

You're ok for a Geordie "

You’re ok for a farmer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It comes and goes.

Sorry, didn't read all the OP

I've met hot men, so them meeting hot women wouldn't have bothered me, until a few years ago.

Now, I doubt anyone who has sex with hot women would look twice at me. That's not because of lack of self-confidence; it's me being realistic.

There was a guy on here, he asked me multiple times to meet me and the reason I didn't, was seeing who he'd met previously. I thought there was no way he'd like me after meeting them.

It's hard to not compare yourself to others.

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By *estarossa.Woman over a year ago

Flagrante

"I need to stop checking veris. If I see they’ve met with someone I think is more attractive, nicer body etc I immediately think why would they want me? and talk myself out of it. "

What about if they are less attractive?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

Maybe

I would shag your cast offs yes!

Are you basing super hot off looks?

Or personality.

Super hot in looks doesn’t guarantee an amazing meet, far from it

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

"I’m not sure I’ve got self confidence on here, perhaps I’m just better at ignoring my lack of confidence, if that makes sense?

Stopping yourself from doing something enjoyable is bad, I hope you find a way past it.

Is it though? If it leads to feeling even worse about yourself? "

Usually the fear or worry is worse than what happens.

As for thinking of other people as super-hot, you know that to many people that’s you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I keep putting myself out there a lot. I’m pretty introverted and I struggle with new people.

I am super shy around new people and I turn into an awkward potato. I have, a few times in the last few weeks, squashed things that were going well because I decided the guy was too hot for me.

I can relate.

And I've deliberately (yes deliberately!!) put guys off me for the same reasons.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm pretty confident within myself but I still have wobbles, I think it's normal.

If they've met super hot I do think sometimes why you hitting me up but I guess some people don't have a set preferences. I know I don't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I need to stop checking veris. If I see they’ve met with someone I think is more attractive, nicer body etc I immediately think why would they want me? and talk myself out of it. "

Yep!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

Maybe

I would shag your cast offs yes!

I don't have any as instead of fucking them I just fuck them off!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

"Eh, I guess in some ways yes. When it comes to how I look, not really. And it definitely puts me off meeting people because I know I'm disappointing in many ways.

You can dissapoint. Me any time you like beautiful .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m not sure I’ve got self confidence on here, perhaps I’m just better at ignoring my lack of confidence, if that makes sense?

Stopping yourself from doing something enjoyable is bad, I hope you find a way past it.

Is it though? If it leads to feeling even worse about yourself?

Usually the fear or worry is worse than what happens.

As for thinking of other people as super-hot, you know that to many people that’s you?"

But it isn't me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've gained a lot of confidence since I joined fab/started to go to clubs and socials. Although (like most people I imagine) I have a bit of a wobble now and again.

If someone has been verified exclusively by women with a totally different body type to me it would definitely give me pause, but "hot" wouldn't put me off

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By *ML49Man over a year ago

Burnley

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

My confidence in myself is fine on here.however my confidence in people on here is massively lacking. This is due to the abruptness in the content of messages i do get, lack of replies to the quantity of my messages I send. Etc etc.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

I’ve learnt to get the best out of people I have to get the best out of me. I’m far from perfect, but I’m as perfect as I can be

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By *he love catsCouple over a year ago

South Wales

I wouldn't worry about meeting anyone, at the end of the day whatever you are feeling they are probably feeling the same, I suppose it's easy for me to say being part of a couple though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t think I’ve got it as such.. however, it doesn’t stop me doing anything because I am what I am and that’s enough for me and mine

If I started worrying about stuff like what I looked like compared to other people, where would it end? I could turn myself into a barbie doll with a lot of money, effort and self discipline but then what? Some would still find me unattractive or less attractive than others so what would be the point? We don’t all judge others and compare to our previous partners so why do we think other people do that to us?

None of us are perfect, even the perfect looking people have smelly farts and bits about themselves they don’t like. If someone’s interested in me after we’ve met then there’s a reason for that and I’m not going to blow it up by comparing myself to who they’ve been with before. 8 billion people on the planet and we’re all different. There’s no order or attractiveness starting from 8 billionth being fuck ugly and 1 being the most attractive person on the planet is there!

Thank you for coming to my tedtalk

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

I'm pretty self confident (though I don't like my appearance much). Mr's self confidence depends on the circumstances. Work related activity, fine. Anything to do with strangers in uncontrolled environments, less so.

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan over a year ago

Wigan

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

No self confidence whatsoever, unless I really click with someone, then I have it in abundance.

Yes, it can stop me doing stuff and I can hate myself because of it at times.

It wouldn't put me off, if we're meeting it means we've clicked. Also, it's their choice to meet me, so they've chosen to do so for a reason.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I need to stop checking veris. If I see they’ve met with someone I think is more attractive, nicer body etc I immediately think why would they want me? and talk myself out of it.

What about if they are less attractive?"

I don’t think I’ve ever thought of them as being less attractive than I am. I just know when I see someone more attractive, I think shit I can’t never match up to that. I know it’s a really stupid way of thinking but sometimes you can’t help but compare yourself to others.

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

Just seen your reply on the how to make a man horny thread.

"I show him pictures of other women "

You’re not seeing things as they really are and I don’t think a bunch of anonymous perverts (no offence, like) on here will be able to help much.

Trust me that things aren’t as bad as you see them and I think you need a way to believe that yourself.

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By *ittlebirdWoman over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Yes

And Lilith, I’ve not seen your face but your body is absolutely stunning. I wish you could realise that darling.

It took me a long time to be happy with my little legs and wobbly bits but now I wouldn’t change them for the world.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Ive been empowering women for over 30years . sadly too many women lack confidence in them selves and self doublt . here to help.

Its all about you . and learning that light bulb moment .that like the lorial advert says your worth it .

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By *ooBulMan over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

I couldn't be with someone if they were boring.... (not saying good looking people are boring..just sayin')

Looks fade over time any hoo. So, what do you have then? Interesting/quirky/funny/intelligent?

LOL. Op. Yer making me think of the Richie Castellano track.... "I Used To Be Hot". LOL.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ga7H0EsbZmM&list=OLAK5uy_kMlkwYhqz87wl7620fo_WXcyoKR5RsODo&index=5

Got to be a subjective point of view that differs from person to person?

I've realised I'm not on this mortal coil for long so I don't give a poo! Like me or don't. It all boils down to Marmite...

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By *andyfloss2000Woman over a year ago

ashford

Yes I am grown with age ! X

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By *estarossa.Woman over a year ago

Flagrante

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

Maybe

I would shag your cast offs yes!

Are you basing super hot off looks?

Or personality.

Super hot in looks doesn’t guarantee an amazing meet, far from it "

Lilith has both, effing Bitch!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I relied on Fab for confidence I'd never leave my cave. I'm pretty niche on here I guess.

It depends how I'm feeling that day/week.

I do pretty ok though out and about, so I just try and concentrate on the positives.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes

And Lilith, I’ve not seen your face but your body is absolutely stunning. I wish you could realise that darling.

It took me a long time to be happy with my little legs and wobbly bits but now I wouldn’t change them for the world.

People see what I want them to see, and I'm bloody awesome with a camera!

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By *ittlebirdWoman over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Yes

And Lilith, I’ve not seen your face but your body is absolutely stunning. I wish you could realise that darling.

It took me a long time to be happy with my little legs and wobbly bits but now I wouldn’t change them for the world.

People see what I want them to see, and I'm bloody awesome with a camera!

Well rejoice in that bit of your awesomeness then lovely. And cameras can only lie so much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like your hair and teeth.

It's hard not to sound like a serial killer saying that, but...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

Maybe

I would shag your cast offs yes!

Are you basing super hot off looks?

Or personality.

Super hot in looks doesn’t guarantee an amazing meet, far from it

Lilith has both, effing Bitch!!

I can assure you I do not!

I am funny to be around though, I'll take that.

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By *rs D.Woman over a year ago

Tyne And Wear

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

I lack zero confidence, and it does stop me meeting people.. rejection plays a huge part

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I like your hair and teeth.

It's hard not to sound like a serial killer saying that, but..."

Weirdly not the first time someone's said that on here.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Yes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In my comfort zone I have it. Unfortunately there are few others in my comfort zone…..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

I lack zero confidence, and it does stop me meeting people.. rejection plays a huge part "

Definitely, if you've experienced rejection once, or more, then it's hard to just forget that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don’t think I’ve got it as such.. however, it doesn’t stop me doing anything because I am what I am and that’s enough for me and mine

Thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Good tedtalk

I get that I do, other people, I don't expect to be perfect. Myself, I do.

Herein lies the problem.

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By *estarossa.Woman over a year ago

Flagrante

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

Maybe

I would shag your cast offs yes!

Are you basing super hot off looks?

Or personality.

Super hot in looks doesn’t guarantee an amazing meet, far from it

Lilith has both, effing Bitch!!

I can assure you I do not!

I am funny to be around though, I'll take that. "

Well I like you in a platonically forum bad-bitch way xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes

Some non-fab stuff

However attractive you are there's always going to be someone more attractive, wherever you are in the world and whatever you're doing. I'd never do anything (or anyone) if I allowed that to make me feel lesser. If someone tells me and genuinely acts like they think I'm hot and want to meet, then I'm going to take their word for it. It doesn't matter who else they've previously hooked up with.

Nell

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By *oly Fuck Sticks BatmanCouple over a year ago

here & there

Fake it till you make it....

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A slightly or maybe controversial view.

Some people will give compliments to many or any in here trying to win favour or a meet or a message.

What can be seen as a fake compliment or a compliment that you know isn’t really meant for any other reason than to win favour actually I see as a negative and can knock confidence.

As all that happens is you can be seen to be doing it to everyone and then you start doubting it and thinking is it purely done in the hope of gaining favour

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By *antric_lover77Woman over a year ago

south east

Not really just find there's way too many fantasists on here which is stopping me getting sex

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Away for Christmas

I have a form of it. I don't project it. I'm not 100% sure of myself all the time everytime.

If somebody shows interest in me then that's a boost to my confidence and I'm not scared or put off.

Same goes for if they have had hotter meets. They are interested in me so I'm feeling confident, even if it's likely to be a disappointment for them. I'll have warned them.

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By *cottish guy 555Man over a year ago

London

I project it in my work and to people who don't really know me.

I lost most of it sometime ago and that's gotten worse with age, mental health and being a type 1 diabetic and all that goes with it.

I don't tend to meet many people from here except in clubs although that has changed recently. If I get chatting to someone on here, as I have increasingly lately, I lay it all out for them so that they can make the decision to meet me, or not. So far it's been going quite well, I've made some good connections and met some lovely people.

It's something that I hope to rediscover within myself to a greater extent

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan over a year ago

Wigan

"It comes and goes.

Sorry, didn't read all the OP

I've met hot men, so them meeting hot women wouldn't have bothered me, until a few years ago.

Now, I doubt anyone who has sex with hot women would look twice at me. That's not because of lack of self-confidence; it's me being realistic.

There was a guy on here, he asked me multiple times to meet me and the reason I didn't, was seeing who he'd met previously. I thought there was no way he'd like me after meeting them.

It's hard to not compare yourself to others. "

I spent several years in a relationship with someone who was way out of my league. She was 10 and I would say I'm a 4 or 5 if I was being generous to myself. Neither of us had much self confidence, I eventually found out that she thought I was way out of her league.

Sometimes you just have to take a chance and believe in the fact that someone sees you differently than the way you see yourself. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I keep putting myself out there a lot. I’m pretty introverted and I struggle with new people.

I am super shy around new people and I turn into an awkward potato. I have, a few times in the last few weeks, squashed things that were going well because I decided the guy was too hot for me.

I can relate to this.

I struggle with new people too, in terms of trusting. Amazing opportunities can come my way and I'll screw it up because I don't believe anything that other person is saying...

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

"It comes and goes.

Sorry, didn't read all the OP

I've met hot men, so them meeting hot women wouldn't have bothered me, until a few years ago.

Now, I doubt anyone who has sex with hot women would look twice at me. That's not because of lack of self-confidence; it's me being realistic.

There was a guy on here, he asked me multiple times to meet me and the reason I didn't, was seeing who he'd met previously. I thought there was no way he'd like me after meeting them.

It's hard to not compare yourself to others.

Sometimes you just have to take a chance and believe in the fact that someone sees you differently than the way you see yourself. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. "

There's no *league*.

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By *ou only live onceMan over a year ago

London

I have it in certain areas. I know I'm good at my job etc and am pretty confident socially etc. But on your 3rd question: yes, definitely.

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By *ophie199Couple over a year ago

Leeds

I do

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m confident sexually and socially but not in my appearance x I’m currently working on my self esteem

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By *andycandy88Woman over a year ago

Northolt

I have always had self confidence never compared myself or others.

We are all individuals being not objects and can't stand the comparison between people gives me the ick

Comparing experiences is different but to compare looks is not the one.

I would compare objects to one another but not the looks of a person. Every individual has emotions wether they show it or not it always catches up with a person sooner or later.

Getting shy happens as I'm never vain and arrogant my shyness would come from not knowing how well or not I would get along with a person and would me and them establish a connection but also how strong would it be xx

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By *unandadventureMan over a year ago

Here, There, Everywhere

I have a little. Some people can bring it out more. Some can knock it right back in.

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By *edeWoman over a year ago

the abyss

Yes

Super Yes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I rarely feel self confident but I've become adept at faking it until one day I might eventually make it.

It doesn't stop me doing thing's in the way it used to. I've realised that life is too short.

I do worry that I'll be a let down all the time, I'm always insecure about my looks and my body. I always expect that people will get bored of me pretty quickly too. However I enjoy for what they are. I don't have to understand it.

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By *ellinever70Woman over a year ago

Ayrshire

I learned a long time ago on here to stop comparing myself to my perception of others as it wasn't very good for my self confidence

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like your hair and teeth.

It's hard not to sound like a serial killer saying that, but...

Weirdly not the first time someone's said that on here. "

Did they also sound like a serial killer?

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By *adMerWoman over a year ago

Sandwich

Yes I have confidence. It’s probably because I am old. I am also fun company.

It helps to get out of your own head and see yourself how others do.

Find your boundaries and then don’t allow others to cross them

This has taken me a lifetime to discover

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By *mber81Woman over a year ago

Chorley, Eng

I am comfortable in myself now (thank you therapy) with good mental health and that I think gives me confidence.

I am not surprised when people like me. I am not upset when people dislike me. But I am consistently very fucking surprised when people fancy me.

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By *ruceyyMan over a year ago

London

Oh Lilith, I would give you one of those cuddles you hate right now!

I definitely used to be insecure, and now still get rejected a shit load! I also chat up women who have slept with Greek gods.

I don't know if it was my job, where I have to chat to anybody and everybody, or if one day I just thought, what does it matter?

We have one life and honestly now, I make sure I look as good as I can with what the mother dear gave me and I just be myself. And I've accepted that for some people that's the worst thing imaginable but for others it's great. And I'm much more attracted to people generally in life who are themselves and state their opinions and aren't holding back, cause it's not easy to do to face that rejection you'll get, but it's respectable.

We don't always get what we want but the best thing we can do is be ourselves and love ourselves as much as possible. Life ain't easy! So chat up that hot person, fuck their hotter veris (not literally) and block the people who you think are bad news.

Long story short - do whatever you can to be happy.

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple over a year ago

Aberdeen

I have pretty much zero self confidence/self esteem. I am aware of every single flaw in my body to the extent where the only positive attributes I have are my ankles and eyebrows. Too many negative comments over my lifetime from partners and others.

I usually hide myself away when it is too much to handle and then reappear with my fake confidence mask on.

Few people actually see me with my walls down.

So in short doesn't usually stop me but its hard work wearing a mask.

MrsAbz

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By *iscean_dreamMan over a year ago

Llanelli

Yes I have it most of the time, wouldn't say if I'm suffering from a lack of it that I wouldn't meet someone I wanted to see.

Definitely wouldn't be put off meeting someone based on who they had seen previously

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nope, none at all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/07/23 21:06:17]

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

Been empowering women for over 30 years to gain self confidence

And belive in what the loreal advert say your worth it . we see the beauty it you its just learning to allow yourself to see it too.and be proud of who you are .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can be insecure or comfortable,depends on my mood, weight, what lingerie I'm wearing/ how it fits, etc. I wouldn't say it stops me but if someone is talking about wanting 'hot people only' or only meets people of a type that I'm obviously not, I'd probably avoid meeting them. Is that the looks or their approach - not sure.

But even at my most insecure, I won't entertain people who are only focused on themselves or not able to meet my needs, even if it's unintentional due to their circumstances. Fun here should mutual & cater to all involved. Sin xo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nope, no confidence at all. I can't see any worth in meeting me, so I just turned off all of that when I rejoined.

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By *ansoffateMan over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I am more: I'm me, than self-confident.

Sometimes I see women and I think there's no chance, I'm not that lucky.

It wouldn't stop me meeting them. It doesn't stop me believing it if I feel it in the moment with them. I've been in relationships with very attractive women and I've been fine.

Insecurity can poison the well though. I've been on the receiving end of that a couple of times. It's hard to swallow when you really like someone and they struggle to believe it. I'm sat there banging my against a wall thinking: if you could let this go and get out of your head for a second, you'd feel it and then you would know.

Did I answer that? Waffling like a Muppet today. Forgot the question.

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By *ovebunny70Woman over a year ago

portsmouth

"I need to stop checking veris. If I see they’ve met with someone I think is more attractive, nicer body etc I immediately think why would they want me? and talk myself out of it. "

i do the same thing

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

"I need to stop checking veris. If I see they’ve met with someone I think is more attractive, nicer body etc I immediately think why would they want me? and talk myself out of it.

i do the same thing "

Nah with that body they want you

Belive me

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman over a year ago

Edinburgh

Depends what I'm wearing certain clothes and make up make me feel really good or sexy

Most days I feel like a dumpling

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By *KTim61Man over a year ago

Tipton

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

Yes to all

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By *asty tatsyMan over a year ago

london

I do have it, but I do feel I’m more confident outside of fab to be fair. Maybe because I feel a little more comfortable in talking I’m person

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I sincerely lack self confidence and has hindered me on here. I've had socials where they said they didn't want to take things further as they thought I wasn't flirty enough to feel a spark and it's something I've never thought about because I never wanted to overstep boundaries or come across that it's more than a social.

If I had more self confidence, I wouldn't be afraid of saying the wrong thing which could probably lead to more success on here

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By *olden PoleMan over a year ago

Kent

Self confidence is unshakable. I’m not ignoring or arrogant. I’m not particularly good looking but I know my worth and that’s priceless. Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone….that’s a fact everyone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am not surprised when people like me. I am not upset when people dislike me. But I am consistently very fucking surprised when people fancy me. "

At least it never gets old for you.

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By *olden PoleMan over a year ago

Kent

Ignorant*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Self confidence is unshakable. I’m not ignoring or arrogant. I’m not particularly good looking but I know my worth and that’s priceless. Smile and the world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone….that’s a fact everyone."

I thought it was fart and you're on your own

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple over a year ago

Southampton

"I sincerely lack self confidence and has hindered me on here. I've had socials where they said they didn't want to take things further as they thought I wasn't flirty enough to feel a spark and it's something I've never thought about because I never wanted to overstep boundaries or come across that it's more than a social.

If I had more self confidence, I wouldn't be afraid of saying the wrong thing which could probably lead to more success on here

Hugs xx

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By *olden PoleMan over a year ago

Kent

I thought it was fart and you're on your own "

Some like the ambience of a fresh fart. No one likes tears and sorrow.

Try it….let rip in a bar and some might buzz round you like fly’s round a cows arse hole. Start crying and they leg it like Jesse Owens.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

"Depends what I'm wearing certain clothes and make up make me feel really good or sexy

Most days I feel like a dumpling"

Funny you should mention that I love dumpling

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No, no and no

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By *ruceyyMan over a year ago

London

This has actually been a really interesting thread to give perspective on people. Well done Lilith and everyone that opened up!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't have it

Yes it does

Would never expect the situation to arise

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I have self confidence in many situations but not all

I don't deliberately out myself in situations where I know I lack confidence but if it's unavoidable or necessary I'll do it.

It wouldn't put me off meeting someone if I knew they'd been with a super hot person. If someone wants to meet us who they've previously met is irrelevant really

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By *eroLondonMan over a year ago

Mayfair

"Do you have it?"

Yes I do. However at the moment it waxes and wanes for personal reasons.

"Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?"

Yes, a little. It affects my engagement in chatting when someone messages me. If they are unfazed or understanding of my plight then it's less of an issue.

"Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment? "

No.

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By *_J111Woman over a year ago

home

I definitely struggle with self confidence and find it really hard to believe that people like me, let alone fancy me.

But I try really hard to not let my lack of confidence stop me from meeting people. Doesn't always work, but I try.

MJ x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't have the confidence to find the toilet in a bar. Mr has to scope it out first.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't have the confidence to find the toilet in a bar. Mr has to scope it out first.

I do this! Except I don't have a Mr so I get a friend to do it.

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Away for Christmas

"I don't have the confidence to find the toilet in a bar. Mr has to scope it out first.

I do this! Except I don't have a Mr so I get a friend to do it.

You have a friend?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't have the confidence to find the toilet in a bar. Mr has to scope it out first.

I do this! Except I don't have a Mr so I get a friend to do it.

You have a friend? "

Just the one

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

I have self confidence but know my limits

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't have the confidence to find the toilet in a bar. Mr has to scope it out first.

I do this! Except I don't have a Mr so I get a friend to do it.

You have a friend?

Just the one "

I'm not your friend lilith.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have it. Lots of it. No white knights coming to help so I gotta take care myself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't have the confidence to find the toilet in a bar. Mr has to scope it out first.

I do this! Except I don't have a Mr so I get a friend to do it.

You have a friend?

Just the one

I'm not your friend lilith.

And I count myself lucky everyday.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s actually amazing to me how many objectively attractive people in this thread have confidence issues. There’s some that have really shocked me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

TL;DR

FAF?

Anyone?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I have it. Lots of it. No white knights coming to help so I gotta take care myself. "

White knights don't ride to the rescue of confident people

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By *estarossa.Woman over a year ago

Flagrante

"TL;DR

FAF?

Anyone?"

Ffs! Read the room! Theres more Hearts on Sleeves here than in Alice in Wonderland!

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By *ittlebirdWoman over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"TL;DR

FAF?

Anyone?

Ffs! Read the room! Theres more Hearts on Sleeves here than in Alice in Wonderland!"

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By *ouple-perthCouple over a year ago

Perth

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

Yes

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ffs, wrong thread

Weirdos

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have it. Lots of it. No white knights coming to help so I gotta take care myself.

White knights don't ride to the rescue of confident people

No one coming to help so no choice but confidence (even when I need to fake it) is what I’m trying to say (badly lol loooong day )

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I have it. Lots of it. No white knights coming to help so I gotta take care myself.

White knights don't ride to the rescue of confident people

No one coming to help so no choice but confidence (even when I need to fake it) is what I’m trying to say (badly lol loooong day ) "

Understood

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By *tew008Man over a year ago

edinburgh

Probably don’t have self confidence but my general disdain for everyone else let’s me ride though any confidence issues

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Probably don’t have self confidence but my general disdain for everyone else let’s me ride though any confidence issues"

I feel that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do I have it?

Sometimes, mostly no.

If I was meeting someone in a pub or club they'd have to stand outside and take me in, I can't walk in by myself.

The thought of the big fab socials scare the hell out of me. I don't know if I can ever turn up at one.

Confident enough to actually go on a social yes, but I shake with nerves each time.

Would I lack confidence to meet people on here? hell yes. Happens all the time. And I can be amazed someone wanted a further meet.

No, no I don't have that much confidence to be fair.

But once I am familiar with someone you see something different if I can trust you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Erm I’m pretty confident. I try not to compare myself to men on fab because that will probably lead to lower self esteem and I cba with that again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Erm I’m pretty confident. I try not to compare myself to men on fab because that will probably lead to lower self esteem and I cba with that again"

You don’t need to.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But once I am familiar with someone you see something different if I can trust you. "

I think that describes me to a T! A lot of reasons why I hardly flirt or be forward on a first meet is because of my unwillingness to be open and be myself. Once I know someone is actually interested or we've met a couple of times, I'm far more open easygoing.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple over a year ago

Staffordshire

Must resist the urge…

Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as

PARK LIFE!

Sorry.

It just came out.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple over a year ago

Southampton

The older I get the more I think " meh, if you like me great, if not oh well your loss " .. but of course it's always nice if the person you like recipeocates

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By *avexxMan over a year ago

cheshire

ive never been short of it good connection helps more,,

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By *orbidden eastMan over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

In a word no. Simply because we are all different and have different things to offer.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Erm I’m pretty confident. I try not to compare myself to men on fab because that will probably lead to lower self esteem and I cba with that again

You don’t need to. "

Yeah! You’re right! You’re right a lot I’ve noticed

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've always struggled with confidence and holding myself to unrealistic standards. It holds me back a lot, and I struggle to accept that if something's worth doing, it's better that I irretrievably mangle it than worry about perfecting it. (When I say "irretrievably mangle", others say "this is excellent", because either I'm too hard on myself or the world suffers from mass psychosis, I'm not sure)

But no, I wouldn't stop myself meeting someone based on comparing myself to who they've met.

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By *ornycougaWoman over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

I am self confident to a point. I consistently punch above my weight on here and have met some incredibly hot guys who are well verified by stunning women. That doesn't put me off - actually quite the opposite. I find it a big compliment and very affirming. BUT my ego is very fragile. So if they subsequently do something to knock my confidence - anything from blowing me out to meet someone else to a simple throw away comment on here or IRL - then that's it. My confidence is shattered and I lose all desire to want to see them again because I feel undesired.

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By *uchasGMan over a year ago

Northwest

Not at the moment...I need a bit of self motivation first to kick me up the arse

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By *eartsmanMan over a year ago

southeast , midlands, southern France

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

Yes all of the above OP

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By *eartsmanMan over a year ago

southeast , midlands, southern France

I've always had no confidence, I think it stems from when I was child, you see I was a fat kid growing up and I didn't start dating till I turned 19, that's when began playing rugby and I lost my weight. I couldn't believe it, woman started to notice me! Was shy at first but slowly I started dating, but to this day that little fat kid still sits in my head, reminding me I'm ugly and fat x

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By *ames-77Man over a year ago

milton keynes

I lack zero self confidence I'm grateful for my health and what I have been blessed with in life I'm a lucky guy and I understand not everyone feels the same about themselves but I wish they would

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By *issIrishCoffeeWoman over a year ago

Bristol

I have loads off self confidence , now then when I was younger

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

"I've always had no confidence, I think it stems from when I was child, you see I was a fat kid growing up and I didn't start dating till I turned 19, that's when began playing rugby and I lost my weight. I couldn't believe it, woman started to notice me! Was shy at first but slowly I started dating, but to this day that little fat kid still sits in my head, reminding me I'm ugly and fat x"

To me its just a form of madness

That people fuck themselves up thinking that way .the brain a strange beast .

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By *jekimMan over a year ago

Wigan

Absolutely not no

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By *ames-77Man over a year ago

milton keynes

To me its just a form of madness

That people fuck themselves up thinking that way .the brain a strange beast ."

I agree .. but unfortunately the times we live in encourage depression and self insecurities people end up dwelling in it .. the minute someone says something motivational or advice to change they get attacked for not understanding

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

Never lacked self confidence but has surprised me if anything chatting with someone as for meeting never had an issue

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By *ectorRivaMan over a year ago

Gateshead

Used to be very confident, nothing phased me until I had a heart attack, self confidence gone, I even worry about getting an erection these days

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By *alleyDaveMan over a year ago

Sheffield

In real life I'm a confident person but when I'm in my "Fab mode " my confidence is zero due my my lack of any success what so ever on here during my year of being a member.

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By *ames-77Man over a year ago

milton keynes

If you lack confidence make a change in your life something simple such as going to the gym and training.. it will change the way you feel i guarantee that !

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you lack confidence make a change in your life something simple such as going to the gym and training.. it will change the way you feel i guarantee that ! "

Oh I know, I just need to get my arse in gear!!

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By *ames-77Man over a year ago

milton keynes

"If you lack confidence make a change in your life something simple such as going to the gym and training.. it will change the way you feel i guarantee that !

Oh I know, I just need to get my arse in gear!!"

Your not the only one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

Yes. I have self confidence, sometimes.

Yes, it also stops/stopped me doing things ESPECIALLY meeting people on here.

And maybe. I warn them they will be disappointed

, but seriously, maybe. It does t matter who they’ve been with if they get along with me, they get along with me regardless who they’ve been with. And that’s the reason I don’t go trail hunting. It can put me off messaging if I think they have a type.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

Yes. I have self confidence, sometimes.

Yes, it also stops/stopped me doing things ESPECIALLY meeting people on here.

And maybe. I warn them they will be disappointed

Maybe that's the difference between men and women. I don't see it as they get along with me, I see it as they want sex and "think" I'm their type. I know I aren't.

Or maybe that's just the difference between me and everyone else

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have always suffered from lack of self confidence.

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By *ancer36Woman over a year ago

Stirling

Yeah I’ve got it, sure I can look at another woman and think she’s attractive on the surface but is she an attractive person the answer to that is ‘who knows’ life isn’t about looks and perfect bodies and the ‘magazine/airbrushed effect’ we all have a uniqueness about us and our physical appearances only tell part of the story.

If anything woman need to be less hung up on analysing other woman and learn to be happy in there own self only then can you find the confidence to put yourself out there, it doesn’t matter if men shower you with compliments you need to believe in your own worth in the first place!

Validate yourself don’t look for validation

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"…..they’ve been with. And that’s the reason I don’t go trail hunting. It can put me off messaging if I think they have a type.

Maybe that's the difference between men and women. I don't see it as they get along with me, I see it as they want sex and "think" I'm their type. I know I aren't.

Or maybe that's just the difference between me and everyone else

Maybe, ( over using this word now, I know) they will think you are their type as your online personality is all they’ve got to go off. And your pictures absolutely show you who they’d meet, so they already know if you are their type.

It’s all a puzzle until you meet, I know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have none, zero. Maybe cos I have this to live with?

https://www.topdoctors.co.uk/medical-dictionary/dysthymia?amp=1

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yeah I’ve got it, sure I can look at another woman and think she’s attractive on the surface but is she an attractive person the answer to that is ‘who knows’ life isn’t about looks and perfect bodies and the ‘magazine/airbrushed effect’ we all have a uniqueness about us and our physical appearances only tell part of the story.

Validate yourself don’t look for validation

I definitely don't look for validation from anyone, especially on here. No one has any affect on how I feel, only me! Which is kinda the problem.

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By *ancer36Woman over a year ago

Stirling

Validate yourself don’t look for validation

I definitely don't look for validation from anyone, especially on here. No one has any affect on how I feel, only me! Which is kinda the problem.

Oh I was just generalising not saying you specifically do - as an observation some woman can seem to be hung up on a man’s opinion of them at times or the number of fabs or likes on a social media post none of that really means anything - seems some woman don’t hold too much of an opinion about themselves other than negative ones or ones derived from comparison.

Just making a point that I feel confidence comes from within

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By *wistedsoul35Man over a year ago

cumbria

Definitely don't have much confidence. Was put down alot when I was younger, and it's taken a long time to attempt to build that back up. Never feeling good enough, always wondering if I'm good looking enough to be with someone, or if they are too hot for me. Many insecurities from probably a 15-20 year period that just don't go away!

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By *r LickalotapussMan over a year ago

London

Confidence and self belief can be tough challenges to overcome, but are both things you can grow over time with control in place.

Talk to people, meet for socials, experience the beautiful spectrum of people personalities. In there somewhere is a select few you will totally relate to and you'll feel a connection that will inherently include self confidence.

#Believe.

(Bacon sarnie time)

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS over a year ago

chichester

Yes I am self confident

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By *ife NinjaMan over a year ago

Dunfermline

Existing, as I do, as the Brisn Glover experience, I play to my strengths and don't get overly worried about this place.

I'm normally one of the first out of my kit at a club

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple over a year ago

Southampton

"Definitely don't have much confidence. Was put down alot when I was younger, and it's taken a long time to attempt to build that back up. Never feeling good enough, always wondering if I'm good looking enough to be with someone, or if they are too hot for me. Many insecurities from probably a 15-20 year period that just don't go away! "

Totally get that feeling... for what it's worth... I totally would xx

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By *ames-77Man over a year ago

milton keynes

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

My ex was the hottest girl I've ever set eyes on but that's my business why should anyone worry about what someone's ex looked like

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you lack confidence make a change in your life something simple such as going to the gym and training.. it will change the way you feel i guarantee that ! "

Yes, that will sort those who've struggled with lack of confidence for a decade or more - as some have said on the thread. It's a complicated issue and your response is the equivalent of "pull your socks up".

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By *mf123Man over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Its coming back not that iv any other use for it than work

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/07/23 08:31:52]

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By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

Validate yourself don’t look for validation

"
agreed self worth is the key

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple over a year ago

Southampton

"If you lack confidence make a change in your life something simple such as going to the gym and training.. it will change the way you feel i guarantee that !

That's like telling someone with a broken leg to walk it off...

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By *ife NinjaMan over a year ago

Dunfermline

"If you lack confidence make a change in your life something simple such as going to the gym and training.. it will change the way you feel i guarantee that !

That's like telling someone with a broken leg to walk it off..."

That's what my gran said to me when I broke my ankle

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you lack confidence make a change in your life something simple such as going to the gym and training.. it will change the way you feel i guarantee that !

That's like telling someone with a broken leg to walk it off..."

I know this alone won't help a lot, but I can see how it can help a little, for some.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A slightly or maybe controversial view.

Some people will give compliments to many or any in here trying to win favour or a meet or a message.

What can be seen as a fake compliment or a compliment that you know isn’t really meant for any other reason than to win favour actually I see as a negative and can knock confidence.

As all that happens is you can be seen to be doing it to everyone and then you start doubting it and thinking is it purely done in the hope of gaining favour"

I think there's merit in your point. Verifications are meant to be about letting people know if the person you're meeting is real and ultimately will you be safe with them. I much prefer reading that someone is kind than hearing about their performance. Any verification I have or give is based on knowing that person a long time. Self worth and building on it is a goal most need to pursue. External validation does not provide it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you lack confidence make a change in your life something simple such as going to the gym and training.. it will change the way you feel i guarantee that !

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple over a year ago

Southampton

"If you lack confidence make a change in your life something simple such as going to the gym and training.. it will change the way you feel i guarantee that !

That's like telling someone with a broken leg to walk it off...

That's what my gran said to me when I broke my ankle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you lack confidence make a change in your life something simple such as going to the gym and training.. it will change the way you feel i guarantee that ! "

I mean that’s a very general thing to say and probably won’t do much to help the majority of people struggling with self confidence

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If you lack confidence make a change in your life something simple such as going to the gym and training.. it will change the way you feel i guarantee that !

Agreed. Joining the gym just made me insecure about how I was in the gym

(Not that I wouldn't recommend it, but not because it'll magically cure confidence issues)

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By *r-8-BBCMan over a year ago

LONDON

"Do you have it?

Does lack of it stop you doing stuff, say meeting people on here?

Would it put you off meeting someone if you knew they'd been with someone super hot out of fear of been a disappointment?

I have enough self-confidence to be on fab. I engage in forum post, show my face, cock and all. I post pics and vids of me fucking. If i am on a meet, I have no interest in the person they met previous only if they wanted a 3sum. That's just me.

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