Scenario: you finish with a monogamous relationship where the sex was nothing less than transcendental. You would have been content for your person to have been your last sexual partner for the rest of your life. The sex was THAT good.
Then your relationship implodes. No fixing it, it’s over.
How long before you have sex with someone new, either casually or otherwise?
This is different for everyone, and obviously there are many people here who are non-monogamous anyway and might not find themselves in the above situation.
But some of you might have anecdotes you want to share.
Not looking for “how long is a piece of string” answers, please. “How long is a piece of string” is the question.
Thanks and have a lovely day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Scenario: you finish with a monogamous relationship where the sex was nothing less than transcendental. You would have been content for your person to have been your last sexual partner for the rest of your life. The sex was THAT good.
Then your relationship implodes. No fixing it, it’s over.
How long before you have sex with someone new, either casually or otherwise?
This is different for everyone, and obviously there are many people here who are non-monogamous anyway and might not find themselves in the above situation.
But some of you might have anecdotes you want to share.
Not looking for “how long is a piece of string” answers, please. “How long is a piece of string” is the question.
Thanks and have a lovely day."
I've been through this a few times.
A long time for me. I've tried casual sex to just move on or just because I have needs but it's unsatisfying.
Frankly? A year? It depends when I'm emotionally a bit more ready to move on. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
If you're fine with casual sex and have needs I suppose it can be shortly after. It will likely not compare to your prior experience as the emotional component would be missing?
If it's deeper connections you crave, I suppose once you've gotten over the loss of that person and have definitively moved on. |
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I don’t think you can simply put a time frame on that but I know for me it would be more of a matter of making a peace with the past and m as me sure I am physically/emotionally/mentally ready to move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Moving on to someone new works as therapy for me. Been in the split up "friend zone" before which is a bit sucky if you are still "holding out hope"
Nothing better than a "quick dick fix" or new infatuation to dilute old feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interestingly I've thought a person was the best, the sex was incredible and better than anything else I'd ever experienced. I thought it was wonderful and our chemistry was off the scale. Then I allowed myself to meet other people and suddenly I realised that those epic sex memories weren't exclusive to the person from the past. They can happen with other people. You make different memories and suddenly the world opens up to you.
I don't know a specific length of time, it's when you feel ready but sometimes you end up waiting too long and it becomes something you worry about (been there too)
Don't focus on sex. Focus on finding you and doing things that make you feel good. Have fun, any everything else will likely fall in to place x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Scenario: you finish with a monogamous relationship where the sex was nothing less than transcendental. You would have been content for your person to have been your last sexual partner for the rest of your life. The sex was THAT good.
Then your relationship implodes. No fixing it, it’s over.
How long before you have sex with someone new, either casually or otherwise?
…."
That was the easy buy, The aftermath of me having sex with someone, no matter how long I gave it was the problem. My emotional state took time to recover, (it’s still recovering) but life moves on.
Weeks/months/years?? It doesn’t matter, but I had to do it eventually.  |
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"Scenario: you finish with a monogamous relationship where the sex was nothing less than transcendental. You would have been content for your person to have been your last sexual partner for the rest of your life. The sex was THAT good.
Then your relationship implodes. No fixing it, it’s over.
How long before you have sex with someone new, either casually or otherwise?
This is different for everyone, and obviously there are many people here who are non-monogamous anyway and might not find themselves in the above situation.
But some of you might have anecdotes you want to share.
Not looking for “how long is a piece of string” answers, please. “How long is a piece of string” is the question.
Thanks and have a lovely day."
When I was younger quickly a few months.
The last 2 implosions (1. marriage and 2. long-term lover)happened in my 30s and it took around 2 years to get back into the swing (pun intended) of things.
Unfortunately, when you are with someone for a long time there is more at play than just mind-blowing sex. A lot of it has to do with how you both feel and think and behave outside of the sexual playtime. |
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"Scenario: you finish with a monogamous relationship where the sex was nothing less than transcendental. You would have been content for your person to have been your last sexual partner for the rest of your life. The sex was THAT good.
Then your relationship implodes. No fixing it, it’s over.
How long before you have sex with someone new, either casually or otherwise?
….
That was the easy buy, The aftermath of me having sex with someone, no matter how long I gave it was the problem. My emotional state took time to recover, (it’s still recovering) but life moves on.
Weeks/months/years?? It doesn’t matter, but I had to do it eventually. "
Aww bless you. I've now gone full swing (pun intended) into embracing my avoidant attachment style and running from long-term committed bonding with another adult human being.  |
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"Interestingly I've thought a person was the best, the sex was incredible and better than anything else I'd ever experienced. I thought it was wonderful and our chemistry was off the scale. Then I allowed myself to meet other people and suddenly I realised that those epic sex memories weren't exclusive to the person from the past. They can happen with other people. You make different memories and suddenly the world opens up to you.
I don't know a specific length of time, it's when you feel ready but sometimes you end up waiting too long and it becomes something you worry about (been there too)
Don't focus on sex. Focus on finding you and doing things that make you feel good. Have fun, any everything else will likely fall in to place x
"
This is excellent, thank you. Perspective does change with time x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's really hard. Do you try to cover over the previous guy with new experiences, with the fear of "its just not the same, its not him" or do you wait and heal and pine, and find it difficult to move on?
It's so individual, to both you and what you had with him.
But I hope its not the only experience of such wonderful sex! |
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