FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are you easily swayed?
Are you easily swayed?
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
... by others' opinion? By gossip?
Or are you a "take as you find kind of person?
If you were told something about someone that was in complete opposition to what you thought... would you believe it? Would you ignore it? Would you dig deeper? Would you tell the person? Would you allow that to colour your view of them?
I'm just curious...
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"If you were told something about someone that was in complete opposition to what you thought... would you believe it? Would you ignore it? Would you dig deeper? Would you tell the person? Would you allow that to colour your view of them?"
I’d probably dig deeper. Sometimes a warning sign can be handy, but I don’t want to be fooled by someone else’s agenda. |
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I judge people as i find! Some people try to turn people against someone out of jealousy usually. It's perfectly fine not to click with someone not everyone clicks! But don't try to turn others against them.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can have a pre-disposition to an opinion based on what others tell me because I tend to hang out with like-minded people. I'll always form my own opinion once I've had that experience though and won't look for confirmation bias. |
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I think the vast majority will say they're not swayed by gossip. But in reality I think they are to greater or lesser extent.
On here I tend to keep myself to myself. Think it's easier in the long run |
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It’s easy to get caught up in the “fab” or other moment and to lose your individuality, your own perspective and to start thinking channel groupthink or to behave the way others (who may or may not have an ulterior motive), want you to think. What I’ve learnt is that by falling into this trap, I’ve wasted an awful lot of time.
Hopefully in the future I will remember that my opinion of someone (through experience and meeting) is the only one that truly counts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer to take people as I find them.
And I know far to well that many on here lie about others leave out the truth and can get people into all sorts of shit in the process. I know that because I'm likely to be in the middle of a volcano eruption just because I did the right thing but it wasn't what someone wanted. I have the proof though.
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Depends what into. Gossip? No. A night out after a few beers while my parents have the kids? Absolutely. "
I'm a little confused...
Could you clarify? |
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By *avexxMan
over a year ago
cheshire |
"I judge people as i find! Some people try to turn people against someone out of jealousy usually. It's perfectly fine not to click with someone not everyone clicks! But don't try to turn others against them. "
,,, this |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Others proples opinions of others are that there's, not mine I take ppl as I find them. Based on how they are with me.
People who push there opinion of others on to me, can frankly fook off "
Would you try to find out why? |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"If you were told something about someone that was in complete opposition to what you thought... would you believe it? Would you ignore it? Would you dig deeper? Would you tell the person? Would you allow that to colour your view of them?
I’d probably dig deeper. Sometimes a warning sign can be handy, but I don’t want to be fooled by someone else’s agenda."
That's what I'd probably do... |
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"Others proples opinions of others are that there's, not mine I take ppl as I find them. Based on how they are with me.
People who push there opinion of others on to me, can frankly fook off
Would you try to find out why? "
No as its none of my business, drama begets drama generally Posh. |
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"I judge people as i find! Some people try to turn people against someone out of jealousy usually. It's perfectly fine not to click with someone not everyone clicks! But don't try to turn others against them. ,,, this"
Thank you! x |
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By *avexxMan
over a year ago
cheshire |
"I judge people as i find! Some people try to turn people against someone out of jealousy usually. It's perfectly fine not to click with someone not everyone clicks! But don't try to turn others against them. ,,, this Thank you! x "
,,, your welcome x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My opinion of people is based on my experience with them mostly. If a good friend tells me about their experience with someone I do consider it though. It’s in my mind. If I’ve seen them being horrible or not nice though, then I make a mental note. And I likely won’t fuck with that person like that anymore. |
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I guess it depends on who is saying what about someone. If its someone I trust implicitly then I'm more likely to listen to what they say, but I'll still make my own mind up whether to find out more or not. I try to keep an open mind about anyone simply because some people can't help themselves and have to try and create division between others or monopolise a friendship by keeping others at bay with rumours or gossip. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One of the things I really really don't like is gossip. It's routed in toxicity and I'd wonder why someone was telling me this thing...and their reasons behind their need to gossip |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of the things I really really don't like is gossip. It's routed in toxicity and I'd wonder why someone was telling me this thing...and their reasons behind their need to gossip "
*rooted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of the things I really really don't like is gossip. It's routed in toxicity and I'd wonder why someone was telling me this thing...and their reasons behind their need to gossip "
If it’s a friend and they’re venting about someone I don’t mind. If it’s someone gossiping I usually love the drama but do question their motives for sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend not to put too much stock in gossip. It usually comes from the wrong place and is very rarely representative of the whole truth, so I would take it with a fair pinch of salt. |
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"One of the things I really really don't like is gossip. It's routed in toxicity and I'd wonder why someone was telling me this thing...and their reasons behind their need to gossip "
I don't think gossip (the sharing of information about others) is necessarily rooted in toxicity. If someone tells you something about someone else, that's gossip. And I think we all do that to an extent
Sure, if it's just made up nonsense |
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"I think the vast majority will say they're not swayed by gossip. But in reality I think they are to greater or lesser extent.
On here I tend to keep myself to myself. Think it's easier in the long run "
I tend to be wary and listen to my inner feelings.
I someone told me something I would perhaps go about my getting to know them in a different way/more focused until I had either validated or dismissed the said comments and was happy with things myself |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I judge people as i find! Some people try to turn people against someone out of jealousy usually. It's perfectly fine not to click with someone not everyone clicks! But don't try to turn others against them. "
I'd agree with that lovely |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I can have a pre-disposition to an opinion based on what others tell me because I tend to hang out with like-minded people. I'll always form my own opinion once I've had that experience though and won't look for confirmation bias."
I think I get that. And I tend towards the same. I'd be interested as to where the "information" given came from though, and whether it is true. But I'd go to the person concerned. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I think the vast majority will say they're not swayed by gossip. But in reality I think they are to greater or lesser extent.
On here I tend to keep myself to myself. Think it's easier in the long run "
I actually think you're probably right. And I think we all take it in, no matter what we do with it.
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It’s easy to get caught up in the “fab” or other moment and to lose your individuality, your own perspective and to start thinking channel groupthink or to behave the way others (who may or may not have an ulterior motive), want you to think. What I’ve learnt is that by falling into this trap, I’ve wasted an awful lot of time.
Hopefully in the future I will remember that my opinion of someone (through experience and meeting) is the only one that truly counts "
I think there can be a lot of that kind of group thinking... or guiding of opinion by one or a few, in sections of society.
I'm glad you're not going to waste any more time though |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I prefer to take people as I find them.
And I know far to well that many on here lie about others leave out the truth and can get people into all sorts of shit in the process. I know that because I'm likely to be in the middle of a volcano eruption just because I did the right thing but it wasn't what someone wanted. I have the proof though.
"
I mean... I wasn't talking about fab... 
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As someone who’s been on the sharp end of other peoples bullshit, both on here and in the real world, I have learned through bitter experience not to trust anything anyone says about another person. There is usually an agenda, and its rarely an honourable one. How a person acts is usually far more revealing than what they say. I watch, and I listen, and I make up my own mind.
For perspective, on here I’ve found myself ghosted and blocked by people I thought were friends, probably on the strength of what other people have said about me. It hurt at the time, but it’s only fab. Out in the real world, however, someone attempted to destroy my professional reputation, extort a percentage of my future earnings, and other things that were even worse. I had to get a lawyer and a cease and desist order. But the damage done to some relationships was permanent.
So I would say, think very carefully before falling down the rabbit hole of other people’s gossip. Some people are very manipulative, and willing to cause enormous damage, but they need other people to go on the ride with them, otherwise there is no legitimacy to what they say. Watch, listen, and make up your own mind. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Its a bit difficult to judge boobs, bums, vaginas and cocks."
I'm quoting this on every "best *insert body part* on fab" thread.
(Unlikely to happen... but I think it) |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I judge people as i find! Some people try to turn people against someone out of jealousy usually. It's perfectly fine not to click with someone not everyone clicks! But don't try to turn others against them. ,,, this"
True |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My opinion of people is based on my experience with them mostly. If a good friend tells me about their experience with someone I do consider it though. It’s in my mind. If I’ve seen them being horrible or not nice though, then I make a mental note. And I likely won’t fuck with that person like that anymore. "
Absolutely this. I'm not going to ignore what very close and trusted friends tell me if they've had a terrible experience with someone. That'll make me wary.
Third, fourth, fifth hand gossip etc won't affect my opinion of someone though.
Nell |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"I judge people as i find! Some people try to turn people against someone out of jealousy usually. It's perfectly fine not to click with someone not everyone clicks! But don't try to turn others against them. "
Posh tried to turn me against Drama! But I told her NO! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My opinion of people is based on my experience with them mostly. If a good friend tells me about their experience with someone I do consider it though. It’s in my mind. If I’ve seen them being horrible or not nice though, then I make a mental note. And I likely won’t fuck with that person like that anymore.
Absolutely this. I'm not going to ignore what very close and trusted friends tell me if they've had a terrible experience with someone. That'll make me wary.
Third, fourth, fifth hand gossip etc won't affect my opinion of someone though.
Nell"
No certainly not. But it would be funny. Gossip is usually quite ridiculous |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... by others' opinion? By gossip?
Or are you a "take as you find kind of person?
If you were told something about someone that was in complete opposition to what you thought... would you believe it? Would you ignore it? Would you dig deeper? Would you tell the person? Would you allow that to colour your view of them?
I'm just curious...
"
Hi NSP
I believe that I take the view as thanks muchly for the view, comments, gossip but I have a view of my own. Always form my own view because I am me not others. I will listen but doesnt mean my view is the same. Idle gossip not got a good ear for. Its in one ear out the other. |
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If I was told something about someone that was in complete opposition to what I thought. Hmmmm.
It's unlikely to sway me. In fact I can recall being warned off a woman by at least 4 friends profusely. It didn't stop me, hang on shit example: I was young, she was hot I was totally thinking with my dick. That was good advice to be honest.
Highly situational. I have some friends who I trust deeply, but then they aren't the type of people to try and sway me to begin with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No it wouldn't sway me blindly but it would make me curious.
Well it would depend on how well I knew the person telling me this gossip I suppose. I like to find people out for myself, in time people usually show you who they are. Admittedly sometimes a bit late. |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
Nope, I'll make my mind up for myself about someone, but I will listen if someone tells me something that the person in question may have done to someone else which wasn't very nice, bit like a pre warning! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not really. I try to observe instead of soaking it all up.
I also reckon is e that lots are people’s opinions and not necessarily the truth.
I’ve heard alsorts about people, but I like to form my own views on people. And if I consider them a friend, it probably wouldn’t sway me either way.. |
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"I think the vast majority will say they're not swayed by gossip. But in reality I think they are to greater or lesser extent.
On here I tend to keep myself to myself. Think it's easier in the long run
I actually think you're probably right. And I think we all take it in, no matter what we do with it.
"
I just don't think if you're told something about someone, you don't think about it or have a niggle about it. Or that you go out to prove that the information you've been given is wrong. Your actions have been dictated by the information so you've been swayed one way or another. Think it's only human to be honest |
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Yep, I'll take someone as I find them, obvs. But if someone I know, like and trust offers me an opinion, I will listen to it. It won't sway me necessarily, but I do value my friends' opinions.
I can't really see it on here given I don't really know anyone *that* well, but if, for example, I was told to be wary of someone at work by a friend, I would keep that in mind when dealing with that person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm usually a good judge of character so take people as I find them. I do like to see the best in people though and I value the advice of my friends who know me well. I don't always listen though! |
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I'm easily swayed when it comes to distracting me from thr things I need to be focusing on and instead letting myself be a wound up needy puddle begging to be allowed to suck dick.
If everyone else in the entire world says something is one way, I will probably accept that thats the way things are unless shown otherwise, but wouldn't refuse to be shown otherwise.
If someone I don't know tells me something about someone, it's going to have little to no bearing on my opinion in general. However, if it's a particularly severe statement against them, I will probably hold that in mind and be slightly more guarded until I can hear their side of the story.
All varies. All is in flux. Always. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... by others' opinion? By gossip?
Or are you a "take as you find kind of person?
If you were told something about someone that was in complete opposition to what you thought... would you believe it? Would you ignore it? Would you dig deeper? Would you tell the person? Would you allow that to colour your view of them?
I'm just curious...
"
Nope , what others think or say doesn't change how l think or feel about issues . |
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"I'm easily swayed when it comes to distracting me from thr things I need to be focusing on..."
That kind of swayed - YES! He types, instead of focusing on the presentation he's supposed to be writing... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not good at reading people or their intentions. So if one of my trusted friends told me something at odds with my own take - I'd look at it seriously. I don't think that is being easily swayed tbh. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I think the vast majority will say they're not swayed by gossip. But in reality I think they are to greater or lesser extent.
On here I tend to keep myself to myself. Think it's easier in the long run
I actually think you're probably right. And I think we all take it in, no matter what we do with it.
I just don't think if you're told something about someone, you don't think about it or have a niggle about it. Or that you go out to prove that the information you've been given is wrong. Your actions have been dictated by the information so you've been swayed one way or another. Think it's only human to be honest "
I had a very good teacher who taught me the only valid time to say negative things about people is in private to the person concerned.
It’d not human - it’s gossip |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I get told something I may look at both people a little closer to see whats going on but ultimately no I would still make up my own mind and most likely try and step away from it. |
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"Yep, I'll take someone as I find them, obvs. But if someone I know, like and trust offers me an opinion, I will listen to it. It won't sway me necessarily, but I do value my friends' opinions.
I can't really see it on here given I don't really know anyone *that* well, but if, for example, I was told to be wary of someone at work by a friend, I would keep that in mind when dealing with that person. "
Your friends may just not like that person! If you like them that's what matters. You just become a bit sheep like if you follow the crowd, In llfe not everyone clicks or vibes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone who’s been on the sharp end of other peoples bullshit, both on here and in the real world, I have learned through bitter experience not to trust anything anyone says about another person. There is usually an agenda, and its rarely an honourable one. How a person acts is usually far more revealing than what they say. I watch, and I listen, and I make up my own mind.
For perspective, on here I’ve found myself ghosted and blocked by people I thought were friends, probably on the strength of what other people have said about me. It hurt at the time, but it’s only fab. Out in the real world, however, someone attempted to destroy my professional reputation, extort a percentage of my future earnings, and other things that were even worse. I had to get a lawyer and a cease and desist order. But the damage done to some relationships was permanent.
So I would say, think very carefully before falling down the rabbit hole of other people’s gossip. Some people are very manipulative, and willing to cause enormous damage, but they need other people to go on the ride with them, otherwise there is no legitimacy to what they say. Watch, listen, and make up your own mind. "
  |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"
For perspective, on here I’ve found myself ghosted and blocked by people I thought were friends, probably on the strength of what other people have said about me. "
You actually believe that ? I was blocked by someone once and just assumed they didn’t like me for what I’d said , I would never in a million years believe someone would block based on gossip , and if they do , they are doing you a huge favour !
I’ve been warned of people here and found them to be the most genuine, loyal people I’ve ever known. If other women don’t get on with them it doesn’t concern me , it’s none of my business and I don’t even care to know the reasons |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is what worries us. We see a lot of posts on here, including on this thread, saying “they’re like this” and “they’re like that” and I just don’t see a point!
We’ve been told before that someone had told a couple some pretty unfair and untrue things about us. I really don’t see why people feel the need to do that. We’ve always viewed fab and swinging in general to be very inclusive but b*tching, gossiping and point scoring seems to be a massive part of it now 
Just to balance it out, we’ve spoken to and met some amazing people through fab! Some we’d probably consider friends in “real life”.
Mr |
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"
For perspective, on here I’ve found myself ghosted and blocked by people I thought were friends, probably on the strength of what other people have said about me.
You actually believe that ? I was blocked by someone once and just assumed they didn’t like me for what I’d said , I would never in a million years believe someone would block based on gossip , and if they do , they are doing you a huge favour !
I’ve been warned of people here and found them to be the most genuine, loyal people I’ve ever known. If other women don’t get on with them it doesn’t concern me , it’s none of my business and I don’t even care to know the reasons "
I make it clear in conversation that I have no interest in gossip and yet people have messaged or approached me at socials by saying "I know you don't like gossip, but...." .
They proceed to tell me something they feel I need to know.
Quite often about fabbers I have never heard of, never mind have an opinion of.
I make my own judgements on people especially on here because of all the childish games that some people like to play but I know for a fact that people I've never chatted to have blocked me based on what they have been told by people I have turned down or pulled for shitty behaviour.
I have always found it ironic that people I've chatted to who claim they don't let others influence them devote so much time and effort to influencing others. |
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1000 yard 
It’s juicy stuff
