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Have times changed ?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Since you were younger with dating ? What do you think the difference is now? Do you think it has changed for the better ? Are more people self aware of themselves nowadays, and not wanting to be tied down but still wanting some fun?  |
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By *ooleyMan
over a year ago
preston |
I've been mulling over this recently.
I think I'm preferring the term "self-directed" rather than self aware. I'd say I was cripplingly self aware when I was younger. Now, like in my Fab life, I look at things as self-directed adventures. Mucky adventures! After I had a relationship break down and the time it took me a while to get over - I definitely changed for the better - but I had to do a lot of thinking about intimacy and my relationships.
Now that I'm more mature and most of my partners are, I think that the whole process is easier. If you can make a connection web/face2face and get to meet someone, I find I'm a lot more confident and direct these days than I used to be. Thinking back, I wish I'd have learned to be more direct earlier on! Additionally, women are more direct too, there's no hang-ups about what they want.
I don't know if this is just a maturity thing or whether the entire dating scene is like this, just my experience.
In a relationship frame, I've noticed that things move a bit quicker - time is ticking and us older lot haven't got the time to be in a dead bedroom or wait for love to "grow" or whatever. It's a case of "this isn't working, no time to fix," lets move on before we waste anymore time - again, something I wish I had learned earlier in life. |
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It feels more accessible to me, but then I'm pretty unusual. People long for the days where you go to a pub and find someone. I always hated that and never got far with it. I'd rather have a conversation, even from the get go, rather than rely on empty charisma and hearing every third or fourth word. |
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By *hav02Man
over a year ago
Glasgow/London |
The internet has made it far more easier to connect with a wider network of people... And so relationships/friendships/acquaintances become all the more disposable.
Like an addictive habit, you'll chat meet, get physical... All for the buzz of it, but then move on to someone else... All because you can, trying to chase that buzz of someone new.
Just my initial thoughts  |
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I think dating is a lot more online, a lot more sexting over romance, more accessible cheating, more people exposing their genitals to anyone who they think will look, photos seem to have taken over actually getting to know people, I dislike it immensely.
When I was single on social media I had cocks in the inbox from people who had never said hi to me, people I didn't know trying to have sly chat behind their Mrs back it made me pitty the people trying to actively date.
I'm in some groups they warn people about the pricks on dating sites and it's scary, the abusive messages, the unsolicited pics, the ones convicted of certain things.
I do worry when my daughter is of the dating age what it will be like because right now I think it's awful.
For every decent person there seems to be 50+ creeps.
Mrs |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I think dating is a lot more online, a lot more sexting over romance, more accessible cheating, more people exposing their genitals to anyone who they think will look, photos seem to have taken over actually getting to know people, I dislike it immensely.
When I was single on social media I had cocks in the inbox from people who had never said hi to me, people I didn't know trying to have sly chat behind their Mrs back it made me pitty the people trying to actively date.
I'm in some groups they warn people about the pricks on dating sites and it's scary, the abusive messages, the unsolicited pics, the ones convicted of certain things.
I do worry when my daughter is of the dating age what it will be like because right now I think it's awful.
For every decent person there seems to be 50+ creeps.
Mrs "
For every decent person there seems to be 50+ creeps.
Is this moreso online or is it also true IRL? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes a lot has changed over the years I have grown as a person
When I was younger I was conforumed a old way off thinking on relationships and sex
but as I grown older my outlook has changed dramatically and come to the realisation that a realships trancend sex
And that a lot off things in realships could be solved by just opening them up
Hence why these days I wouldn’t be seeking a closed off relationship at all
I have came to the realisation that sometimes just one person can’t forfill someone needs and wants and such sexual and why have a relationship get ruined because someone “cheated” to forfill those needs and wants yes cheating is wrong
So by have the relationship open with rules those needs and wants can be forfilled and the relationship can be good
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"I think dating is a lot more online, a lot more sexting over romance, more accessible cheating, more people exposing their genitals to anyone who they think will look, photos seem to have taken over actually getting to know people, I dislike it immensely.
When I was single on social media I had cocks in the inbox from people who had never said hi to me, people I didn't know trying to have sly chat behind their Mrs back it made me pitty the people trying to actively date.
I'm in some groups they warn people about the pricks on dating sites and it's scary, the abusive messages, the unsolicited pics, the ones convicted of certain things.
I do worry when my daughter is of the dating age what it will be like because right now I think it's awful.
For every decent person there seems to be 50+ creeps.
Mrs
For every decent person there seems to be 50+ creeps.
Is this moreso online or is it also true IRL?"
Based on online experience
Mrs |
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Dating is unrecognisable from when I was last involved. I doubt I'd navigate it successfully now. It was very basic, you asked someone out, if they said yes and you went on more than one date you were then officially boyfriend and girlfriend (same sex dating was very much under the radar). If you wanted to see someone else you broke up with them or went behind their back.
There was a culture of one night stands though. You'd spend the evening having a laugh with someone, chatting and flirting, go to either of yours, have sex and part company as friends in the morning. Often you'd never see them again. A bit like singles on fab.  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since you were younger with dating ? What do you think the difference is now? Do you think it has changed for the better ? Are more people self aware of themselves nowadays, and not wanting to be tied down but still wanting some fun? "
Yeah it's changed massively when I first dated you exchanged house numbers writing them on a bit of paper or your hand and call them from a call box and hope it wasn't there mum or dad to answer!
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"Since you were younger with dating ? What do you think the difference is now? Do you think it has changed for the better ? Are more people self aware of themselves nowadays, and not wanting to be tied down but still wanting some fun?
Yeah it's changed massively when I first dated you exchanged house numbers writing them on a bit of paper or your hand and call them from a call box and hope it wasn't there mum or dad to answer!
"
 and the phone was in the hall where anybody could hear what you were saying and it was always freezing cold |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I got divorced, I was 26. I thought it would be easy. I quickly found out I was wrong.
Its gotten harder.
I think it's all a bit souless now in many ways and people aren't really looking for relationships.
I've gone full circle over the last 14 years and now I really don't think I want one either.
Dating sites serve a purpose but if like me, you're not desperate enough for the fishy one, not pretty enough for the swipey one, too lazy for the buzzy one and too disillusioned by men specifying what you should weigh (true story) on the matchy one, you end up here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Since you were younger with dating ? What do you think the difference is now? Do you think it has changed for the better ? Are more people self aware of themselves nowadays, and not wanting to be tied down but still wanting some fun?
Yeah it's changed massively when I first dated you exchanged house numbers writing them on a bit of paper or your hand and call them from a call box and hope it wasn't there mum or dad to answer!
and the phone was in the hall where anybody could hear what you were saying and it was always freezing cold "
I used to go to the phone box down the road so my sister didn't listen in on the other phone. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I think dating is a lot more online, a lot more sexting over romance, more accessible cheating, more people exposing their genitals to anyone who they think will look, photos seem to have taken over actually getting to know people, I dislike it immensely.
When I was single on social media I had cocks in the inbox from people who had never said hi to me, people I didn't know trying to have sly chat behind their Mrs back it made me pitty the people trying to actively date.
I'm in some groups they warn people about the pricks on dating sites and it's scary, the abusive messages, the unsolicited pics, the ones convicted of certain things.
I do worry when my daughter is of the dating age what it will be like because right now I think it's awful.
For every decent person there seems to be 50+ creeps.
Mrs
For every decent person there seems to be 50+ creeps.
Is this moreso online or is it also true IRL?
Based on online experience
Mrs "
I think online is where you'll encounter the people that would never have any success IRL. This has to be one of the reasons why the gender numbers are so skewed in OLD |
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"When I got divorced, I was 26. I thought it would be easy. I quickly found out I was wrong.
Its gotten harder.
I think it's all a bit souless now in many ways and people aren't really looking for relationships.
I've gone full circle over the last 14 years and now I really don't think I want one either.
Dating sites serve a purpose but if like me, you're not desperate enough for the fishy one, not pretty enough for the swipey one, too lazy for the buzzy one and too disillusioned by men specifying what you should weigh (true story) on the matchy one, you end up here! "
People specify what you should weigh  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I got divorced, I was 26. I thought it would be easy. I quickly found out I was wrong.
Its gotten harder.
I think it's all a bit souless now in many ways and people aren't really looking for relationships.
I've gone full circle over the last 14 years and now I really don't think I want one either.
Dating sites serve a purpose but if like me, you're not desperate enough for the fishy one, not pretty enough for the swipey one, too lazy for the buzzy one and too disillusioned by men specifying what you should weigh (true story) on the matchy one, you end up here!
People specify what you should weigh . "
Yup! It was in their looking for section! |
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"When I got divorced, I was 26. I thought it would be easy. I quickly found out I was wrong.
Its gotten harder.
I think it's all a bit souless now in many ways and people aren't really looking for relationships.
I've gone full circle over the last 14 years and now I really don't think I want one either.
Dating sites serve a purpose but if like me, you're not desperate enough for the fishy one, not pretty enough for the swipey one, too lazy for the buzzy one and too disillusioned by men specifying what you should weigh (true story) on the matchy one, you end up here!
People specify what you should weigh .
Yup! It was in their looking for section! "
Blimey.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Massively changed. Everything now seems to be online and the art of communication seems to have gone.
Also things seem to be based upon physical attraction, swipe left or right.
Or within a bio. I have known really clever wordsmiths who can write a great bio which does not truly reflect them.
Too many filters and people not wanting to show the real them.
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"Things will always change with time. Dating being one of the things that changes with time. People need to adapt to the changes "
Couldn't agree more but I genuinely wouldn't know where to start and if people started specifying what I should weigh I'd just get more cats and stay home |
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