FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Veris? Everyone seems to get their knickers in a twist
Veris? Everyone seems to get their knickers in a twist
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I mean I get it. That whole yes they are who they say they are?.. But are they actually 'more' than just yep they're a legit person? And of course they will be an actual person, because they couldn't create a profile otherwise... So, does it actually matter? It's not an b&b, it's not TripAd... Would you ask for a veri for someone you met in a general nightclub, or clicked with on a dating site, or in the frozen aisle in Tesco?
Personally I think it's weird? It's a site for over 18s,and frankly if you can't be held responsible for checking who you plan to meet without someone else's say so?... Well then that's all on you  |
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I personally like veris, but not to prove people are genuine but almost like TrustPilot. If we get a good experience from someone we want other people to share that good experience and a positive review is basically a personal recommendation.
"5 stars, would fuck again"
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"I have to agree, and it's even more difficult for men if they have no veris, "
I’ve met guys without veri’s tbh, for me it’s less important to have veris, as long as the conversation is good, veris don’t hold a place for me (plus I prefer to make my in mind up |
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By *eartsmanMan
over a year ago
southeast , midlands, southern France |
"I have to agree, and it's even more difficult for men if they have no veris,
I’ve met guys without veri’s tbh, for me it’s less important to have veris, as long as the conversation is good, veris don’t hold a place for me (plus I prefer to make my in mind up "
Nice to know Diva . I may just message you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mean I get it. That whole yes they are who they say they are?.. But are they actually 'more' than just yep they're a legit person? And of course they will be an actual person, because they couldn't create a profile otherwise... So, does it actually matter? It's not an b&b, it's not TripAd... Would you ask for a veri for someone you met in a general nightclub, or clicked with on a dating site, or in the frozen aisle in Tesco?
Personally I think it's weird? It's a site for over 18s,and frankly if you can't be held responsible for checking who you plan to meet without someone else's say so?... Well then that's all on you "
I'm only interested in verifications to confirm that the person is legitimate
No other reason
I'm not really bothered about the content although overly explicit veris can put me off a little bit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think they can help.
If one person says another is 'ok', then that could just be their personal opinion, but if 10 people say the same then its more likely to be true.  "
Not necessarily
People don't leave bad verifications
You could have met 100 people and had 10 good experiences and 90 bad ones |
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"I have to agree, and it's even more difficult for men if they have no veris,
I’ve met guys without veri’s tbh, for me it’s less important to have veris, as long as the conversation is good, veris don’t hold a place for me (plus I prefer to make my in mind up "
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I'm still waiting for your verification, confounded woman! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear OP, you've been verified by 28 people and you're displaying your profile summary. So what is the real issue?"
I'm not displaying the content of any of them as that's my own business? So, what difference does it actually make Nero? They could all be stating I'm an arsehole?.. |
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"I think they can help.
If one person says another is 'ok', then that could just be their personal opinion, but if 10 people say the same then its more likely to be true.
Not necessarily
People don't leave bad verifications
You could have met 100 people and had 10 good experiences and 90 bad ones"
That's tricky because someone could leave a terrible veri, I do wonder when their veri summary is more than the displayed total, could that be a bad one? |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I think they can help.
If one person says another is 'ok', then that could just be their personal opinion, but if 10 people say the same then its more likely to be true.
Not necessarily
People don't leave bad verifications
You could have met 100 people and had 10 good experiences and 90 bad ones"
But if someone receives 100 veris and only shown 10 'good' ones then you'd have to think what did the other 90 say that he/she/they wouldn't show them????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think they can help.
If one person says another is 'ok', then that could just be their personal opinion, but if 10 people say the same then its more likely to be true.
Not necessarily
People don't leave bad verifications
You could have met 100 people and had 10 good experiences and 90 bad ones
That's tricky because someone could leave a terrible veri, I do wonder when their veri summary is more than the displayed total, could that be a bad one?"
I've had some awful meets but wouldn't have the balls to leave a bad veri, would rather just block them and move on |
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"I think they can help.
If one person says another is 'ok', then that could just be their personal opinion, but if 10 people say the same then its more likely to be true.
Not necessarily
People don't leave bad verifications
You could have met 100 people and had 10 good experiences and 90 bad ones
That's tricky because someone could leave a terrible veri, I do wonder when their veri summary is more than the displayed total, could that be a bad one?"
My summary is more than my displayed because a couple of guys left the site  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think they can help.
If one person says another is 'ok', then that could just be their personal opinion, but if 10 people say the same then its more likely to be true.
Not necessarily
People don't leave bad verifications
You could have met 100 people and had 10 good experiences and 90 bad ones
But if someone receives 100 veris and only shown 10 'good' ones then you'd have to think what did the other 90 say that he/she/they wouldn't show them????? "
Well as I said, people don't tend to leave bad verifications so you wouldn't know |
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"Dear OP, you've been verified by 28 people and you're displaying your profile summary. So what is the real issue?
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I'm not displaying the content of any of them as that's my own business? So, what difference does it actually make Nero? They could all be stating I'm an arsehole?.. "
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The likelihood of you being an arsehole is slim to zerø. |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I think they can help.
If one person says another is 'ok', then that could just be their personal opinion, but if 10 people say the same then its more likely to be true.
Not necessarily
People don't leave bad verifications
You could have met 100 people and had 10 good experiences and 90 bad ones
But if someone receives 100 veris and only shown 10 'good' ones then you'd have to think what did the other 90 say that he/she/they wouldn't show them?????
Well as I said, people don't tend to leave bad verifications so you wouldn't know "
But they could.
Either way, we'll never know.
You'd have to make your own mind up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think they can help.
If one person says another is 'ok', then that could just be their personal opinion, but if 10 people say the same then its more likely to be true.
Not necessarily
People don't leave bad verifications
You could have met 100 people and had 10 good experiences and 90 bad ones
That's tricky because someone could leave a terrible veri, I do wonder when their veri summary is more than the displayed total, could that be a bad one?"
I have verifications from clubs ... I tend to only leave up the most recent ones , same with social meets. Plus some people have left the site.
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OP verifications are simply like review
I would only want to meet a person with verifications its an insight to what they are like especially if he has had the same woman give 2 verifications that shows he can be a regular
Of course I would be aware that me and him may not click but it re assures me I wouldn't need to be concerned about my safety at least
There are some weird people on here who can easily make a person uncomfortable.
There are people that sniff and can't perform sex if they have had too much of it
Some can't handle their drink and get carried.
If I chose to be foolish enough to meet a gent with no verifications to prove he has met women and they have had a nice time
It's a risk of having to find out later I got dressed up travelled to a social and behind closed doors nothing kicks off.
I don't take those sorts of risks with my life
Verifications for me are important and gives me something to look forward to xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dear OP, you've been verified by 28 people and you're displaying your profile summary. So what is the real issue?
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I'm not displaying the content of any of them as that's my own business? So, what difference does it actually make Nero? They could all be stating I'm an arsehole?..
•
The likelihood of you being an arsehole is slim to zerø. "
I mean some of the best people I know are arseholes...so...it's not always a bad thing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP verifications are simply like review
I would only want to meet a person with verifications its an insight to what they are like especially if he has had the same woman give 2 verifications that shows he can be a regular
Of course I would be aware that me and him may not click but it re assures me I wouldn't need to be concerned about my safety at least
There are some weird people on here who can easily make a person uncomfortable.
There are people that sniff and can't perform sex if they have had too much of it
Some can't handle their drink and get carried.
If I chose to be foolish enough to meet a gent with no verifications to prove he has met women and they have had a nice time
It's a risk of having to find out later I got dressed up travelled to a social and behind closed doors nothing kicks off.
I don't take those sorts of risks with my life
Verifications for me are important and gives me something to look forward to xx"
The sniff and drink comments is too true
I've had about 4/5 meets where the guys have took drugs/alcohol before I arrived and then couldn't perform |
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"I think they can help.
If one person says another is 'ok', then that could just be their personal opinion, but if 10 people say the same then its more likely to be true.
Not necessarily
People don't leave bad verifications
You could have met 100 people and had 10 good experiences and 90 bad ones
That's tricky because someone could leave a terrible veri, I do wonder when their veri summary is more than the displayed total, could that be a bad one?
My summary is more than my displayed because a couple of guys left the site "
Oh definitely, personally I think if people leave their veri should stay but have the same thing forum posts say (user left site) and not mess with the people that stay. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I agree with above poster. Nobody leaves a bad veri as it'll never get shown anyway. And I definitely think sometimes folk give a 'yes, I met them and the exist'. Type ones, because they feel obligated, even if it was a shitty social?... So again I'll ask, what is the point? It's a site for over 18s. If you can't make up your own mind, and form your own risk assessment surrounding meeting a randomer without a thumbs up from another randomer... Then that's a bit off, no? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm pretty sure nobody puts negative veris on here so it's not really a fair view anyway...
I'm with you it seems pointless. I don't even ask the people I've met to verify me at all. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear OP, you've been verified by 28 people and you're displaying your profile summary. So what is the real issue?
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I'm not displaying the content of any of them as that's my own business? So, what difference does it actually make Nero? They could all be stating I'm an arsehole?..
•
The likelihood of you being an arsehole is slim to zerø. "
Pfft! You don't even know me?... I'm a total arsehole |
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"I think they can help.
If one person says another is 'ok', then that could just be their personal opinion, but if 10 people say the same then its more likely to be true.
Not necessarily
People don't leave bad verifications
You could have met 100 people and had 10 good experiences and 90 bad ones
But if someone receives 100 veris and only shown 10 'good' ones then you'd have to think what did the other 90 say that he/she/they wouldn't show them?????
Well as I said, people don't tend to leave bad verifications so you wouldn't know "
Bad verifications are not allowed but for me if a verification is bland e.g. I met him, he is genuine and true to his pictures I felt safe around him
That says there was no laughing no chemistry and its at another lady's risk to meet him.
Yes she and him may have that laughter and chemistry but she would be fuming if it's not there.
Got dressed up and her time wasted , his may feel wasted if no action had happened but he would probably start saying women are all sorts of names under the sun xx |
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"Dear OP, you've been verified by 28 people and you're displaying your profile summary. So what is the real issue?
·
I'm not displaying the content of any of them as that's my own business? So, what difference does it actually make Nero? They could all be stating I'm an arsehole?..
•
The likelihood of you being an arsehole is slim to zerø.
·
Pfft! You don't even know me?... I'm a total arsehole "
•
If this is you trying to go off on a tangent on your own thread AND trying to ruffle your plumage at me...then it's working.  |
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"OP verifications are simply like review
I would only want to meet a person with verifications its an insight to what they are like especially if he has had the same woman give 2 verifications that shows he can be a regular
Of course I would be aware that me and him may not click but it re assures me I wouldn't need to be concerned about my safety at least
There are some weird people on here who can easily make a person uncomfortable.
There are people that sniff and can't perform sex if they have had too much of it
Some can't handle their drink and get carried.
If I chose to be foolish enough to meet a gent with no verifications to prove he has met women and they have had a nice time
It's a risk of having to find out later I got dressed up travelled to a social and behind closed doors nothing kicks off.
I don't take those sorts of risks with my life
Verifications for me are important and gives me something to look forward to xx
The sniff and drink comments is too true
I've had about 4/5 meets where the guys have took drugs/alcohol before I arrived and then couldn't perform "
Yeah I have had it twice so far  was disappointing first time he was actually my type and we did click such a gentleman
One of my first meets from here was with another gent who did sniff and he could perform but the last 2 have made me not want to meet a sniffer again xx |
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Looking at the sheer amount of couples and single ladies on here who have " meet verifications required" on their profiles, it seems veri's are very important to a lot of people, and also the reason why a lot of us single blokes have no chance of ever enjoying a meet, because we have no meet verifications, because people won't meet us.
It's a vicious circle. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dear OP, you've been verified by 28 people and you're displaying your profile summary. So what is the real issue?
·
I'm not displaying the content of any of them as that's my own business? So, what difference does it actually make Nero? They could all be stating I'm an arsehole?..
•
The likelihood of you being an arsehole is slim to zerø.
·
Pfft! You don't even know me?... I'm a total arsehole
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If this is you trying to go off on a tangent on your own thread AND trying to ruffle your plumage at me...then it's working. "
Nah? It's me just responding to your comments, and you being a bit of a snidey twat about it?... Or shall we just put it to bed, or go around the block on it once more?... I mean I've got all night  |
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I would say veris give some evidence that.
They show to meets and socials
Can engage in conversation.
Some reassurance for those concerned about their safety.
Beyond that I wouldn't read too much into them. It's too subjective. I can't determine how I will receive someone based on how other people have. Nor am I inclined to do so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking at the sheer amount of couples and single ladies on here who have " meet verifications required" on their profiles, it seems veri's are very important to a lot of people, and also the reason why a lot of us single blokes have no chance of ever enjoying a meet, because we have no meet verifications, because people won't meet us.
It's a vicious circle. "
Yeah in away I think it's daft but at the same time with so many no shows I see people want to make sure someone actually turns up. If you really want a veri find a social meet or club and not only enjoy that you'll get veris if you want them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think they can help.
If one person says another is 'ok', then that could just be their personal opinion, but if 10 people say the same then its more likely to be true.
Not necessarily
People don't leave bad verifications
You could have met 100 people and had 10 good experiences and 90 bad ones
But if someone receives 100 veris and only shown 10 'good' ones then you'd have to think what did the other 90 say that he/she/they wouldn't show them?????
Well as I said, people don't tend to leave bad verifications so you wouldn't know
Bad verifications are not allowed but for me if a verification is bland e.g. I met him, he is genuine and true to his pictures I felt safe around him
That says there was no laughing no chemistry and its at another lady's risk to meet him.
Yes she and him may have that laughter and chemistry but she would be fuming if it's not there.
Got dressed up and her time wasted , his may feel wasted if no action had happened but he would probably start saying women are all sorts of names under the sun xx"
These tend to be the kind of veris I leave cause I hate going into too much detail |
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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago
London | Belfast |
I think people are just paranoid about getting catfished. Personally I don't understand verifications either, or the big need for them. They're neat to see that they are actually meeting, but in 85% of my meets, I don't even get a veri or they leave the site and the veri is gone after a while.
I still would meet someone without a veri. If I am disappointed at who shows up, I just go home disappointed and that's it. No harm done. And same disappointing as waiting for someone verified, who never shows up.
I read in profiles all the time "no veris = no meet". Makes no sense. It's just demanding something for the sake ofbeing in the position to make demands. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well yes? I mean if you chatted to someone in a pub you wouldn't be asking to see a verification from someone else whose had met/had sex with them? They'd think you were bloody nuts! |
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"I think they can help.
If one person says another is 'ok', then that could just be their personal opinion, but if 10 people say the same then its more likely to be true.
Not necessarily
People don't leave bad verifications
You could have met 100 people and had 10 good experiences and 90 bad ones
But if someone receives 100 veris and only shown 10 'good' ones then you'd have to think what did the other 90 say that he/she/they wouldn't show them?????
Well as I said, people don't tend to leave bad verifications so you wouldn't know
Bad verifications are not allowed but for me if a verification is bland e.g. I met him, he is genuine and true to his pictures I felt safe around him
That says there was no laughing no chemistry and its at another lady's risk to meet him.
Yes she and him may have that laughter and chemistry but she would be fuming if it's not there.
Got dressed up and her time wasted , his may feel wasted if no action had happened but he would probably start saying women are all sorts of names under the sun xx
These tend to be the kind of veris I leave cause I hate going into too much detail "
I understand as less is more and its nice to leave some mystery for other ladies to find out.
I like the veri's that say if you get a chance to meet him take it you won't be disappointed
I'm then oh nice verifications  lol xx |
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Veris occupy another part of what makes Fab different, another layer of knowing you are dealing with real people and not the endless bot-generated nonsense on other sites. Ultimately choosing to use them is personal choice, we like them but could easily live without them as the vast majority of our meets are in a club from people we have never met and haven't seen us on Fab at all. Sure they can check us out later, but by then they have already figured out if they like us or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well yes? I mean if you chatted to someone in a pub you wouldn't be asking to see a verification from someone else whose had met/had sex with them? They'd think you were bloody nuts! "
Plus just because someone said they had a good time with said person doesn't guarantee that your experience will be good too. It is a bit pointless |
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"I think people are just paranoid about getting catfished. Personally I don't understand verifications either, or the big need for them. They're neat to see that they are actually meeting, but in 85% of my meets, I don't even get a veri or they leave the site and the veri is gone after a while.
I still would meet someone without a veri. If I am disappointed at who shows up, I just go home disappointed and that's it. No harm done. And same disappointing as waiting for someone verified, who never shows up.
I read in profiles all the time "no veris = no meet". Makes no sense. It's just demanding something for the sake ofbeing in the position to make demands."
I have been catfished more than once and also no body wants their time wasted
Many put on their profiles no time wasters and yet can't make a meet happen
That in itself makes no sense to be on here which no one is forced and not say a time they will be available on here. |
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"Well yes? I mean if you chatted to someone in a pub you wouldn't be asking to see a verification from someone else whose had met/had sex with them? They'd think you were bloody nuts! "
This is not a pub, its a swingers site.
I understand your concept but it's a good feature on the site for myself who has been catfished and also had many waste my time with having my number in their possession.
Blessing I haven't had any weird phone calls but still defeats the purpose is to meet and get frisky or even just have a buddy you go to a swingers club with but what are people on here for to put old pictures of themselves and just not meet a person they have said they would like to see in person  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well yes? I mean if you chatted to someone in a pub you wouldn't be asking to see a verification from someone else whose had met/had sex with them? They'd think you were bloody nuts!
This is not a pub, its a swingers site.
I understand your concept but it's a good feature on the site for myself who has been catfished and also had many waste my time with having my number in their possession.
Blessing I haven't had any weird phone calls but still defeats the purpose is to meet and get frisky or even just have a buddy you go to a swingers club with but what are people on here for to put old pictures of themselves and just not meet a person they have said they would like to see in person "
I get that... But isn't it all ownership of us as adults to not suss out whose legit & probably not. Without waiting on another adult to do it for us first? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well yes? I mean if you chatted to someone in a pub you wouldn't be asking to see a verification from someone else whose had met/had sex with them? They'd think you were bloody nuts!
This is not a pub, its a swingers site.
I understand your concept but it's a good feature on the site for myself who has been catfished and also had many waste my time with having my number in their possession.
Blessing I haven't had any weird phone calls but still defeats the purpose is to meet and get frisky or even just have a buddy you go to a swingers club with but what are people on here for to put old pictures of themselves and just not meet a person they have said they would like to see in person
I get that... But isn't it all ownership of us as adults to not suss out whose legit & probably not. Without waiting on another adult to do it for us first? "
I don't ask my mum to vet my meets first?... Maybe I should? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's enough fake verifications for me not to pay attention. I've been asked many times to write them in exchange for one from people I've never/ nor would meet.
"
I do find it strange when someone who already has veris asks for one after a meet. Likewise when they are overly keen to give me one.
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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago
London | Belfast |
"I think people are just paranoid about getting catfished. Personally I don't understand verifications either, or the big need for them. They're neat to see that they are actually meeting, but in 85% of my meets, I don't even get a veri or they leave the site and the veri is gone after a while.
I still would meet someone without a veri. If I am disappointed at who shows up, I just go home disappointed and that's it. No harm done. And same disappointing as waiting for someone verified, who never shows up.
I read in profiles all the time "no veris = no meet". Makes no sense. It's just demanding something for the sake ofbeing in the position to make demands.
I have been catfished more than once and also no body wants their time wasted
Many put on their profiles no time wasters and yet can't make a meet happen
That in itself makes no sense to be on here which no one is forced and not say a time they will be available on here."
Well, yeah, but that is not a verification problem. That is just a dickhead on fabs problem.
The amount of times i had been stood up from profiles, that said "no timewasters" is definitely above 0.
But verifications have nothing to do with that, because they all had verifications on their profile.
Those are two different topics, I am saying. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like reading veri’s, I think they’re fun"
I think some are pretty great! I just find it bizarre that some adults make such a fuss about meetimg a total randomer from the internet... Unless some other total randomer from the Internet has met them first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't like this verification system either because of how it feels like reviewing a product or service, it's somewhat dehumanising.
But at least a few things can be gleamed from them:
1. If said person was actually tall, I noticed it gets mentioned, apparently guys faking their height is a thing on here.
2. Whether a guy is actually very well endowed or not, I've been accused of being fake and blocked a couple of times on here, albeit my supporting verifications didn't help there.
3. Whether the profile in question is just pandering just to get laid ie says he likes big women, but has mostly skinny women verifying him.
4. If someone's profile is bare, you can get an idea of what they might be into judging by their verifications.
I still think it's flawed and needs overhauling, but there is some utility in it. |
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"I think people are just paranoid about getting catfished. Personally I don't understand verifications either, or the big need for them. They're neat to see that they are actually meeting, but in 85% of my meets, I don't even get a veri or they leave the site and the veri is gone after a while.
I still would meet someone without a veri. If I am disappointed at who shows up, I just go home disappointed and that's it. No harm done. And same disappointing as waiting for someone verified, who never shows up.
I read in profiles all the time "no veris = no meet". Makes no sense. It's just demanding something for the sake ofbeing in the position to make demands.
I have been catfished more than once and also no body wants their time wasted
Many put on their profiles no time wasters and yet can't make a meet happen
That in itself makes no sense to be on here which no one is forced and not say a time they will be available on here.
Well, yeah, but that is not a verification problem. That is just a dickhead on fabs problem.
The amount of times i had been stood up from profiles, that said "no timewasters" is definitely above 0.
But verifications have nothing to do with that, because they all had verifications on their profile.
Those are two different topics, I am saying."
You said people are paranoid about being catfished
Verifications proof a person isn't a catfish or going to be a timewaster
The ones who have been time wasters in my experience were the once who were just free to chat on whats app and that's it |
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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago
London | Belfast |
"I like reading veri’s, I think they’re fun
I think some are pretty great! I just find it bizarre that some adults make such a fuss about meetimg a total randomer from the internet... Unless some other total randomer from the Internet has met them first "
We're on the same wavelength here. Total support for how ridiculous this is |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I like reading veri’s, I think they’re fun
I think some are pretty great! I just find it bizarre that some adults make such a fuss about meetimg a total randomer from the internet... Unless some other total randomer from the Internet has met them first
We're on the same wavelength here. Total support for how ridiculous this is"
There is to my knowledge no other site/app that does this? Yet its a hill that many seem to die on... Says a lot when they have to go off someone else's opinion tho, no? |
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"I don't like this verification system either because of how it feels like reviewing a product or service, it's somewhat dehumanising.
But at least a few things can be gleamed from them:
1. If said person was actually tall, I noticed it gets mentioned, apparently guys faking their height is a thing on here.
2. Whether a guy is actually very well endowed or not, I've been accused of being fake and blocked a couple of times on here, albeit my supporting verifications didn't help there.
3. Whether the profile in question is just pandering just to get laid ie says he likes big women, but has mostly skinny women verifying him.
4. If someone's profile is bare, you can get an idea of what they might be into judging by their verifications.
I still think it's flawed and needs overhauling, but there is some utility in it."
How does it dehumanise when bad verifications are not allowed?
Verifications are not designed to dehumanise its to reassure people that their safety is not at risk meeting a person and their time won't be wasted either.
Everyone's own experience and interactions with one from another can vary but I always want to know my safety and time won't be mis used.
I would also like to know I at least had a decent chat/laugh with a person even if I didn't get frisky with them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I don't like this verification system either because of how it feels like reviewing a product or service, it's somewhat dehumanising.
But at least a few things can be gleamed from them:
Can you not make a risk assessment or judgement call yourself then?... I'd not take a veri from someone unknown online as gospel for anything. Why the hell would I?
1. If said person was actually tall, I noticed it gets mentioned, apparently guys faking their height is a thing on here.
2. Whether a guy is actually very well endowed or not, I've been accused of being fake and blocked a couple of times on here, albeit my supporting verifications didn't help there.
3. Whether the profile in question is just pandering just to get laid ie says he likes big women, but has mostly skinny women verifying him.
4. If someone's profile is bare, you can get an idea of what they might be into judging by their verifications.
I still think it's flawed and needs overhauling, but there is some utility in it.
How does it dehumanise when bad verifications are not allowed?
Verifications are not designed to dehumanise its to reassure people that their safety is not at risk meeting a person and their time won't be wasted either.
Everyone's own experience and interactions with one from another can vary but I always want to know my safety and time won't be mis used.
I would also like to know I at least had a decent chat/laugh with a person even if I didn't get frisky with them "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't like this verification system either because of how it feels like reviewing a product or service, it's somewhat dehumanising.
But at least a few things can be gleamed from them:
1. If said person was actually tall, I noticed it gets mentioned, apparently guys faking their height is a thing on here.
2. Whether a guy is actually very well endowed or not, I've been accused of being fake and blocked a couple of times on here, albeit my supporting verifications didn't help there.
3. Whether the profile in question is just pandering just to get laid ie says he likes big women, but has mostly skinny women verifying him.
4. If someone's profile is bare, you can get an idea of what they might be into judging by their verifications.
I still think it's flawed and needs overhauling, but there is some utility in it.
How does it dehumanise when bad verifications are not allowed?
Verifications are not designed to dehumanise its to reassure people that their safety is not at risk meeting a person and their time won't be wasted either.
Everyone's own experience and interactions with one from another can vary but I always want to know my safety and time won't be mis used.
I would also like to know I at least had a decent chat/laugh with a person even if I didn't get frisky with them "
It doesn't have to be a "bad" verification to dehumanise...whatever, that wasn't even the salient point of my post, teaches me to show some nuance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"op this really bugs you doesn't it
Nah, I've just had a drink. So I poked the bear "
I was going to suggest if you'd had a drink but thought it might start another rant |
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Everyone is a randomer to a person before meeting them exchange of contact details.
I would much rather take on a friend through a trusted friend than off my own accord to learn their sense of humour and character which takes time patience and effort.
Therefore I would rather look forward to a meet from a verified randomer on here than a newbie that knows nothing about swinging.
They get swinging totally wrong, go to parties expecting sex with any and every woman because they paid for a ticket.
I always say you can't blame a person for what they don't know but then who ever introduces newbies to swinging should give them some advice about what they should expect then leave them to go in blindly with their own misconceptions and assumptions. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"op this really bugs you doesn't it
Nah, I've just had a drink. So I poked the bear
I was going to suggest if you'd had a drink but thought it might start another rant "
tis not a rant. It's an open forum, and a free discussion... You're new I see |
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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago
London | Belfast |
"I like reading veri’s, I think they’re fun
I think some are pretty great! I just find it bizarre that some adults make such a fuss about meetimg a total randomer from the internet... Unless some other total randomer from the Internet has met them first
We're on the same wavelength here. Total support for how ridiculous this is
There is to my knowledge no other site/app that does this? Yet its a hill that many seem to die on... Says a lot when they have to go off someone else's opinion tho, no? "
Um yes, there is another swinger website, that does this. And I know a swinger website in Germany, that is the same.
Veris are nice, but shouldn't be mandatory for anyone's decision. That bit is ridiculous. No negative veris is okay, otherwise it would be a frustrated hate fest for some people. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I like reading veri’s, I think they’re fun
I think some are pretty great! I just find it bizarre that some adults make such a fuss about meetimg a total randomer from the internet... Unless some other total randomer from the Internet has met them first
We're on the same wavelength here. Total support for how ridiculous this is
There is to my knowledge no other site/app that does this? Yet its a hill that many seem to die on... Says a lot when they have to go off someone else's opinion tho, no?
Um yes, there is another swinger website, that does this. And I know a swinger website in Germany, that is the same.
Veris are nice, but shouldn't be mandatory for anyone's decision. That bit is ridiculous. No negative veris is okay, otherwise it would be a frustrated hate fest for some people."
Exactly! Nobody leaves a bad one. So it's fairly pointless. And everyone should make sure of their own mind/safety before meeting a stranger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"op this really bugs you doesn't it
Nah, I've just had a drink. So I poked the bear
I was going to suggest if you'd had a drink but thought it might start another rant
tis not a rant. It's an open forum, and a free discussion... You're new I see "
Fresh out the box, earlier on today. |
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"I don't like this verification system either because of how it feels like reviewing a product or service, it's somewhat dehumanising.
But at least a few things can be gleamed from them:
1. If said person was actually tall, I noticed it gets mentioned, apparently guys faking their height is a thing on here.
2. Whether a guy is actually very well endowed or not, I've been accused of being fake and blocked a couple of times on here, albeit my supporting verifications didn't help there.
3. Whether the profile in question is just pandering just to get laid ie says he likes big women, but has mostly skinny women verifying him.
4. If someone's profile is bare, you can get an idea of what they might be into judging by their verifications.
I still think it's flawed and needs overhauling, but there is some utility in it.
How does it dehumanise when bad verifications are not allowed?
Verifications are not designed to dehumanise its to reassure people that their safety is not at risk meeting a person and their time won't be wasted either.
Everyone's own experience and interactions with one from another can vary but I always want to know my safety and time won't be mis used.
I would also like to know I at least had a decent chat/laugh with a person even if I didn't get frisky with them
It doesn't have to be a "bad" verification to dehumanise...whatever, that wasn't even the salient point of my post, teaches me to show some nuance."
I understand but it come over to me quite strong.
Dehumanise is like belittling a person or patronize them.
Veri's are meant to be seen as someone putting in a good word for you. Of course you have to click with the lady your meeting also its a two way street but it should be nice that a man with verifications can be proud of himself that there are women who have nice things to say about him.
The women who won't would most likely be the ones who men have nothing or very little nice things to say about her but yes a bit more subtle in future |
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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago
London | Belfast |
"I like reading veri’s, I think they’re fun
I think some are pretty great! I just find it bizarre that some adults make such a fuss about meetimg a total randomer from the internet... Unless some other total randomer from the Internet has met them first
We're on the same wavelength here. Total support for how ridiculous this is
There is to my knowledge no other site/app that does this? Yet its a hill that many seem to die on... Says a lot when they have to go off someone else's opinion tho, no?
Um yes, there is another swinger website, that does this. And I know a swinger website in Germany, that is the same.
Veris are nice, but shouldn't be mandatory for anyone's decision. That bit is ridiculous. No negative veris is okay, otherwise it would be a frustrated hate fest for some people.
Exactly! Nobody leaves a bad one. So it's fairly pointless. And everyone should make sure of their own mind/safety before meeting a stranger "
There is no point to it, it's more like an appetiser. Can do without, but it just makes it a little better |
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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago
London | Belfast |
"I don't like this verification system either because of how it feels like reviewing a product or service, it's somewhat dehumanising.
But at least a few things can be gleamed from them:
1. If said person was actually tall, I noticed it gets mentioned, apparently guys faking their height is a thing on here.
2. Whether a guy is actually very well endowed or not, I've been accused of being fake and blocked a couple of times on here, albeit my supporting verifications didn't help there.
3. Whether the profile in question is just pandering just to get laid ie says he likes big women, but has mostly skinny women verifying him.
4. If someone's profile is bare, you can get an idea of what they might be into judging by their verifications.
I still think it's flawed and needs overhauling, but there is some utility in it.
How does it dehumanise when bad verifications are not allowed?
Verifications are not designed to dehumanise its to reassure people that their safety is not at risk meeting a person and their time won't be wasted either.
Everyone's own experience and interactions with one from another can vary but I always want to know my safety and time won't be mis used.
I would also like to know I at least had a decent chat/laugh with a person even if I didn't get frisky with them
It doesn't have to be a "bad" verification to dehumanise...whatever, that wasn't even the salient point of my post, teaches me to show some nuance.
I understand but it come over to me quite strong.
Dehumanise is like belittling a person or patronize them.
Veri's are meant to be seen as someone putting in a good word for you. Of course you have to click with the lady your meeting also its a two way street but it should be nice that a man with verifications can be proud of himself that there are women who have nice things to say about him.
The women who won't would most likely be the ones who men have nothing or very little nice things to say about her but yes a bit more subtle in future "
Sticks and stones ...................... |
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"I don't like this verification system either because of how it feels like reviewing a product or service, it's somewhat dehumanising.
But at least a few things can be gleamed from them:
1. If said person was actually tall, I noticed it gets mentioned, apparently guys faking their height is a thing on here.
2. Whether a guy is actually very well endowed or not, I've been accused of being fake and blocked a couple of times on here, albeit my supporting verifications didn't help there.
3. Whether the profile in question is just pandering just to get laid ie says he likes big women, but has mostly skinny women verifying him.
4. If someone's profile is bare, you can get an idea of what they might be into judging by their verifications.
I still think it's flawed and needs overhauling, but there is some utility in it.
How does it dehumanise when bad verifications are not allowed?
Verifications are not designed to dehumanise its to reassure people that their safety is not at risk meeting a person and their time won't be wasted either.
Everyone's own experience and interactions with one from another can vary but I always want to know my safety and time won't be mis used.
I would also like to know I at least had a decent chat/laugh with a person even if I didn't get frisky with them
It doesn't have to be a "bad" verification to dehumanise...whatever, that wasn't even the salient point of my post, teaches me to show some nuance.
I understand but it come over to me quite strong.
Dehumanise is like belittling a person or patronize them.
Veri's are meant to be seen as someone putting in a good word for you. Of course you have to click with the lady your meeting also its a two way street but it should be nice that a man with verifications can be proud of himself that there are women who have nice things to say about him.
The women who won't would most likely be the ones who men have nothing or very little nice things to say about her but yes a bit more subtle in future
Sticks and stones ...................... "
Words create a picture and also set a tone actions just validate said words |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I like reading veri’s, I think they’re fun
I think some are pretty great! I just find it bizarre that some adults make such a fuss about meetimg a total randomer from the internet... Unless some other total randomer from the Internet has met them first
We're on the same wavelength here. Total support for how ridiculous this is
There is to my knowledge no other site/app that does this? Yet its a hill that many seem to die on... Says a lot when they have to go off someone else's opinion tho, no?
Um yes, there is another swinger website, that does this. And I know a swinger website in Germany, that is the same.
Veris are nice, but shouldn't be mandatory for anyone's decision. That bit is ridiculous. No negative veris is okay, otherwise it would be a frustrated hate fest for some people.
Exactly! Nobody leaves a bad one. So it's fairly pointless. And everyone should make sure of their own mind/safety before meeting a stranger
There is no point to it, it's more like an appetiser. Can do without, but it just makes it a little better"
Does it? Someone saying 'yeah I met them, don't mess them about. One of the good ones'... Is that your benchmark?  |
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"Looking at the sheer amount of couples and single ladies on here who have " meet verifications required" on their profiles, it seems veri's are very important to a lot of people, and also the reason why a lot of us single blokes have no chance of ever enjoying a meet, because we have no meet verifications, because people won't meet us.
It's a vicious circle.
Yeah in away I think it's daft but at the same time with so many no shows I see people want to make sure someone actually turns up. If you really want a veri find a social meet or club and not only enjoy that you'll get veris if you want them "
But not everyone is interested in clubs or large socials. I'm more than happy to meet for a one on one social for a coffee, a bite to eat or a pint to see if there is an attraction and a spark, but I have no desire to go to a club or arranged large social. Everyone is different. |
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I've been on Fab over a year now (and not even got as far as making a connection with anyone) and I've noticed in that time a massive increase, during my profile searches,a massive increase in people stating if you don't have meet verifications don't message them.
That's fine, that's their choice, and I have no problem with their personal views on verifications. But everyone starts off on here with zero verifications, and if people arnt willing to take a chance on us with no veri's, how are we supposed to get the verifications that so many people on here demand.?
From a personal point of view, I fit the criteria a lot of couples and ladies ask for, I'm single, I can accommodate anytime,I post face pictures, but because I don't have the "Golden ticket" of meet verifications my chances of chatting with couples and ladies are zero. I admit, it's so frustrating, it's so down heartening, you search profiles of couples and single ladies that are looking for single blokes in my age range, my body type, in a localish area, who look for single blokes who accommodate, and even though I meet all those criteria, i still can't message them be cause of the lack of the all important "meet verifications".
I will admit, it's soul destroying at times on here because I lack meet verifications. I've sometimes thought about deleting my profile because of the demand for meet veri's, but i love the site, and love reading and partaking in the forum debates, and I suppose I'm an eternal optimist, and hope one day I will break my Fab virginity.
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They make me giggle! Not one single veri of mine, is from "sex" meets!! All just purely platonic, awesome people I've known from here, for the last 12 years!!! Does that make me fake? Or almost a "tatty B&B as opposed to a 5 star hotel with excellent parking facilities"?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If they're there I'll read them, but they are more likely to put me off then convince me tbh. I don't put much faith in them."
This. Im not gonna be trusting a stranger's opinion anytime soon.
I've met guys that weren't verified, and they turned up, had sex and I'm still alive so I'll trust my own judgement over someone else's.
Also, there are a lot of guys, especially in the forums who are more bothered about displaying a veri rather than actually meeting you. |
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I generally read them if they are displayed but some put me off more than anything especially overly graphic ones.
Some of ours we don't show their either the same person has left two or user no longer on site.
I do like the veris though shows people will meet and aren't just pic collecting or never ending conversations, I think if the profile say looked nothing like the pics/catfish/lied about age people wouldn't leave veris for them so it helps on that part too.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some are great to read, some I’ve regretted reading, and others are just enough for me to form an idea that they turn up if they promised to. This is just my opinion.
Avery one is going to get look at verifications differently and I get it, but I leave mine there hoping they get me. It forms sone view….
One women actually told n my e she met me because of my verifications…..
So they actually got me laid too.
Narrator -“you need to thank her for that one day!” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve seen several women offering to give verifications to men in return for something either site support or money I’m guessing on statuses.
The whole veri process is not foolproof. Just this morning I spotted a female offering such. I don’t pay much attention to veris I do my own due diligence with regards to meeting anyone. Not been catfished but I have met people who look considerably older then their fab pictures lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Verification is very useful for lots of people. I'm not put off by the number of veris or what they say. I'm usually put off from an overly long profile description with dozens of do's and don'ts. By the time I've finished reading them I'm unsure as to whether or not they want to meet. A verification usually tells me more about the person than the profile description does.
Essentially you advertise yourself with the description in your profile and the review tells me if the advert is true or not. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Veris...
I don't know,just don't take them too seriously. People manage to have sex without writing/displaying a veri. Sometimes I think sex veris do more harm than good. If you want to display them and they make you happy? Great. I'm quite happy not displaying mine*.
*of course I don't actually have any because I never have the sex with people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Verification is very useful for lots of people. I'm not put off by the number of veris or what they say. I'm usually put off from an overly long profile description with dozens of do's and don'ts. By the time I've finished reading them I'm unsure as to whether or not they want to meet. A verification usually tells me more about the person than the profile description does.
Essentially you advertise yourself with the description in your profile and the review tells me if the advert is true or not. "
People clearly lie on veris, you don't think they don't discuss what the others gonna put??
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I've never met anyone based on their verifications alone but I have been put off meeting people because of who they have been verified by.
People I know from experience who enjoy creating drama.
I chat for quite a while before agreeing to meet so I make my own judgement but I have chosen to hide verifications from people I have no wish to ever meet again.
Usually because we have met at group socials without any prior engagement and have nothing in common but in a couple of cases down to my own poor judgment.
I don't have any play related verifications and never have done so none are performance related. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People lie in profile descriptions as well. They lie in their photos. Everyone wants to put over the version of themselves. Everyone wants to stand out from the crowd. The profile, verification and photos need to be seen with as a whole rather than the individual parts and with a slight pinch of salt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I'm only interested in verifications to confirm that the person is legitimate
No other reason
I'm not really bothered about the content although overly explicit veris can put me off a little bit"
Same for us! Just an easy way to see if people are genuine at that initial contact stage
Mr |
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We do take notice of them but can also make our own minds up - we decided to arrange a social with someone with veris that seemed genuine … ended up a no show with no reason either. Therefore the veris meant very little in that case |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I mean I get it. That whole yes they are who they say they are?.. But are they actually 'more' than just yep they're a legit person? And of course they will be an actual person, because they couldn't create a profile otherwise... So, does it actually matter? It's not an b&b, it's not TripAd... Would you ask for a veri for someone you met in a general nightclub, or clicked with on a dating site, or in the frozen aisle in Tesco?
Personally I think it's weird? It's a site for over 18s,and frankly if you can't be held responsible for checking who you plan to meet without someone else's say so?... Well then that's all on you "
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I like them and meet people with and without them
A constant issue here is unreliability of people, reported almost daily in the forum. Veris give you an extra piece of information about others, that you can help to guide you. |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"I mean I get it. That whole yes they are who they say they are?.. But are they actually 'more' than just yep they're a legit person? And of course they will be an actual person, because they couldn't create a profile otherwise... So, does it actually matter? It's not an b&b, it's not TripAd... Would you ask for a veri for someone you met in a general nightclub, or clicked with on a dating site, or in the frozen aisle in Tesco?
Personally I think it's weird? It's a site for over 18s,and frankly if you can't be held responsible for checking who you plan to meet without someone else's say so?... Well then that's all on you "
Agree its particularly anno
ying when people demand recent varies from you. How can you get verified if no one you talk to meets you? |
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"I agree with above poster. Nobody leaves a bad veri as it'll never get shown anyway. And I definitely think sometimes folk give a 'yes, I met them and the exist'. Type ones, because they feel obligated, even if it was a shitty social?... So again I'll ask, what is the point? It's a site for over 18s. If you can't make up your own mind, and form your own risk assessment surrounding meeting a randomer without a thumbs up from another randomer... Then that's a bit off, no? "
Nobody gives a bad veri but there is a lot that you can glean regardless by what is said and what is not said. I particularly found them in couple mode in the past looking at other couples to get a feel for how they interact with others and what they do. If time is limited for swinging it's another way to filter - can't chat to everybody, can't meet everybody for socials. For example, couple might say they full swap but veris are centred on the lady. Also if organise gatherings/groups as I've done it's a great way to get a quick snapshot as to who might fit in. For example they go to parties a lot but pretty clear they don't play very much at them which may or may not be what you want. Sure others have their own little ways of using them.
Would also say if time is limited it's great to see somebody you know give positive comments. No guarantee you will feel the same way in person but makes it more likely.
More generally what's the problem? We all use this place in different ways and if people want to give them and some people want to read them then crack on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I kinda like it.
Especially when considering meeting virtual strangers. It helps paint a picture of what that person is like.
Similar to friendship groups. If you like someone you can find out a bit about them before deciding to make a move. |
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I think they are good fun.
We’ve had some brilliant verifications from people over the years that still make us laugh when we think about them.
Some of them are still here and others have long since moved on.
People are generally just far too serious these days.
It’s just words on a screen… it’s not life changing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only display one of mine simply for the reason that it confirms I am who I say I am on the profile, and some people need that before talking to you.
The rest I keep hidden for several reasons along with my, and sarcasm is very much intended here......tally/notches/score sheet summary. |
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Hello O.P.
Verifications are pretty useless for people that want to meet but it's handy for the site to demonstrate they're involved in safeguarding as much as possible.
What I find unsavoury about verifications is that they have morphed from 'yes this person is a man, 42, over 6ft...... To poorly written descriptions of someone's sexual prowess ; which is absolutely useless if it's written by a substance fuelled , double penetration disciple of Satan after a three day bender.
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If it's over polite with no real substance, I take that as they met but they weren't a good match, they're just going through the motions.
I think mine give a good idea of what I'm like, and I enjoy reading them back.
Not overly keen on the very graphic ones... But at least you know what's in store! |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"I mean I get it. That whole yes they are who they say they are?.. But are they actually 'more' than just yep they're a legit person? And of course they will be an actual person, because they couldn't create a profile otherwise... So, does it actually matter? It's not an b&b, it's not TripAd... Would you ask for a veri for someone you met in a general nightclub, or clicked with on a dating site, or in the frozen aisle in Tesco?
Personally I think it's weird? It's a site for over 18s,and frankly if you can't be held responsible for checking who you plan to meet without someone else's say so?... Well then that's all on you "
I agree wholeheartedly with this |
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When I was meeting I used verifications mainly as an additional safety check...I figured that if several people had survived a meet and written a verification, then he was less likely to be an axe murderer and I was less likely to be found in a shallow grave. Compatibility etc I was quite happy to figure out on my own through messaging.
Who they'd been verified by sometimes had a negative effect too...if they had one from someone that is rumoured to go bareback a lot, or a drama llama for instance. Not infallible I know, as they may not show them, but a definite red flag for me if certain people were in their veri list.
Plus I'm nosey and verification trails can be amusing. |
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"I agree with above poster. Nobody leaves a bad veri as it'll never get shown anyway. And I definitely think sometimes folk give a 'yes, I met them and the exist'. Type ones, because they feel obligated, even if it was a shitty social?... So again I'll ask, what is the point? It's a site for over 18s. If you can't make up your own mind, and form your own risk assessment surrounding meeting a randomer without a thumbs up from another randomer... Then that's a bit off, no?
Nobody gives a bad veri but there is a lot that you can glean regardless by what is said and what is not said. I particularly found them in couple mode in the past looking at other couples to get a feel for how they interact with others and what they do. If time is limited for swinging it's another way to filter - can't chat to everybody, can't meet everybody for socials. For example, couple might say they full swap but veris are centred on the lady. Also if organise gatherings/groups as I've done it's a great way to get a quick snapshot as to who might fit in. For example they go to parties a lot but pretty clear they don't play very much at them which may or may not be what you want. Sure others have their own little ways of using them.
Would also say if time is limited it's great to see somebody you know give positive comments. No guarantee you will feel the same way in person but makes it more likely.
More generally what's the problem? We all use this place in different ways and if people want to give them and some people want to read them then crack on. "
Exactly I want to know what is the problem, its such a daft thing to complain about.
The site has more than one feature to use or not.
People can just use what they enjoy and leave what they don't there's no point complaining and whining over silly things goodness me |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
Verifications can be useful for men, especially in the beginning. It helps to establish that they're legit and not a fantasist / dreamer. Many women state on their profiles they will only meet verified men as well.
I learned early on the pitfalls associated with displaying veris, especially ones with more than a social element. Towards the end, only the summary was displayed, with almost none available for reading.
I do enjoy veris that I keep to myself as they can be pleasant reminders of past experiences. A naughty trip down memory lane |
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