Iv bin single nearly a yr now . I miss bein in a relationship. Ontop of this I got diagnosed with fybromyalgia last yr too. I am feeling very lonely at the minute. I used to work as a barmaid so lots of interaction with people and now I'm stuck at home not knowing how I'm gonna be day to day. Anyone else feel like this and how do you deal with it  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Lonely at times not lonely all the time.
Loneliness can be crippling. Try and get yourself involved in social things, even going for a walk and saying hello to people.
When you come out of a relationship you can miss being with them but fear of loneliness is not a reason to be with someone either
It’s about finding “you” again and that’s not always easy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I hear you OP. Generally once or twice a year I hit a wall and wonder what the future will bring.
I could say something pithy to make you feel better, but it will pass. Hope you're feeling yourself soon  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Lonely at times not lonely all the time.
Loneliness can be crippling. Try and get yourself involved in social things, even going for a walk and saying hello to people.
When you come out of a relationship you can miss being with them but fear of loneliness is not a reason to be with someone either
It’s about finding “you” again and that’s not always easy "
yeah I was ok Wen I split as I was still working but havnt worked now since Jan n it's getting to me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I hear you OP. Generally once or twice a year I hit a wall and wonder what the future will bring.
I could say something pithy to make you feel better, but it will pass. Hope you're feeling yourself soon "
yeah it's hard I'm not gettin any younger n start wondering how do some people get relationships right n I get it so wrong |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Iv bin single nearly a yr now . I miss bein in a relationship. Ontop of this I got diagnosed with fybromyalgia last yr too. I am feeling very lonely at the minute. I used to work as a barmaid so lots of interaction with people and now I'm stuck at home not knowing how I'm gonna be day to day. Anyone else feel like this and how do you deal with it "
I only occasionally get pangs of loneliness but at this stage I'm pretty much a hermit.
Have you not got any friendship groups you can reach out to? Any local groups you can meet people?
I know it takes a bit of effort and some nerves but it sounds like it would be good for you when your good days permit.
Volunteering or reaching out to your PCN for a social prescriber can help steer you in the right direction. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm hardly ever alone, but I get lonely a lot.
I've come to the conclusion not everyone gets their happy ever after...which is ok.
Go for walks, find a hobby, get a dog! I'm getting a pack of huskies and I'm gonna be the crazy dog lady. I have dreams. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm hardly ever alone, but I get lonely a lot.
I've come to the conclusion not everyone gets their happy ever after...which is ok.
Go for walks, find a hobby, get a dog! I'm getting a pack of huskies and I'm gonna be the crazy dog lady. I have dreams. "
I have a new puppy…honestly it’s like having a hyper toddler all day |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I hear you OP. Generally once or twice a year I hit a wall and wonder what the future will bring.
I could say something pithy to make you feel better, but it will pass. Hope you're feeling yourself soon yeah it's hard I'm not gettin any younger n start wondering how do some people get relationships right n I get it so wrong "
I tried dating sites.....jeezo, they were awful. It's not easy at all. You feel on the scrap heap. Keep busy and have some fun on here to restore sanity |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yeah I lost my soulmate. There's like a residual sucky loneliness.
I cope by deflecting with dark humour and sarcasm.
Occasionally, being vulnerable and then pretending it never happened.
Doing 'stuff'. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Iv bin single nearly a yr now . I miss bein in a relationship. Ontop of this I got diagnosed with fybromyalgia last yr too. I am feeling very lonely at the minute. I used to work as a barmaid so lots of interaction with people and now I'm stuck at home not knowing how I'm gonna be day to day. Anyone else feel like this and how do you deal with it
I only occasionally get pangs of loneliness but at this stage I'm pretty much a hermit.
Have you not got any friendship groups you can reach out to? Any local groups you can meet people?
I know it takes a bit of effort and some nerves but it sounds like it would be good for you when your good days permit.
Volunteering or reaching out to your PCN for a social prescriber can help steer you in the right direction."
I was thinking of finding out wat clubs there are that I mite be able to go too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm hardly ever alone, but I get lonely a lot.
I've come to the conclusion not everyone gets their happy ever after...which is ok.
Go for walks, find a hobby, get a dog! I'm getting a pack of huskies and I'm gonna be the crazy dog lady. I have dreams. "
I hav 2 dogs Jefferson a Frenchie and Lulu an XL bully they keep me goin |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I hear you OP. Generally once or twice a year I hit a wall and wonder what the future will bring.
I could say something pithy to make you feel better, but it will pass. Hope you're feeling yourself soon yeah it's hard I'm not gettin any younger n start wondering how do some people get relationships right n I get it so wrong
I tried dating sites.....jeezo, they were awful. It's not easy at all. You feel on the scrap heap. Keep busy and have some fun on here to restore sanity "
yes I know but on here is quite hard as I can't accom with havin my youngest son at home n lots of men that I like are the same |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I hear you OP. Generally once or twice a year I hit a wall and wonder what the future will bring.
I could say something pithy to make you feel better, but it will pass. Hope you're feeling yourself soon yeah it's hard I'm not gettin any younger n start wondering how do some people get relationships right n I get it so wrong
I tried dating sites.....jeezo, they were awful. It's not easy at all. You feel on the scrap heap. Keep busy and have some fun on here to restore sanity yes I know but on here is quite hard as I can't accom with havin my youngest son at home n lots of men that I like are the same "
Same. You have to adapt. Difficult, but dooable |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've come to the conclusion not everyone gets their happy ever after...which is ok.
It is ok, but you're still young - don't lose hope."
I don't need hope for something I know will never happen, I want my huskies!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Always around people but alone with my thoughts - it’s a horrible place to be in but with great people around they can help pull you through. "
I dnt hav a great deal of friends and I know you dnt need too . Unfortunately my best mate has bad mental health so I dnt like to put in her
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yeah I lost my soulmate. There's like a residual sucky loneliness.
I cope by deflecting with dark humour and sarcasm.
Occasionally, being vulnerable and then pretending it never happened.
Doing 'stuff'."
sorry to hear that . Life sucks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *onticusMan
over a year ago
Greater London |
"I'm hardly ever alone, but I get lonely a lot.
I've come to the conclusion not everyone gets their happy ever after...which is ok.
Go for walks, find a hobby, get a dog! I'm getting a pack of huskies and I'm gonna be the crazy dog lady. I have dreams. "
That’s the dream, huskies are adorable and proper dogs too! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Iv bin single nearly a yr now . I miss bein in a relationship. Ontop of this I got diagnosed with fybromyalgia last yr too. I am feeling very lonely at the minute. I used to work as a barmaid so lots of interaction with people and now I'm stuck at home not knowing how I'm gonna be day to day. Anyone else feel like this and how do you deal with it "
I'm also single Op, live alone and currently out of work, I find this site is great for not only wanting to meet people but also for a good laugh...I'm on here very regularly and I chat to some really nice guys and women...some that I will never meet for what ever reason and some that there's a possibility..some that I have already met. Who knows what's going happen around the next corner. The forums are also good to join in with. Take it each day by day OP and all I can say is get chatting like it's a social site if that makes you feel better..as it does me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Iv bin single nearly a yr now . I miss bein in a relationship. Ontop of this I got diagnosed with fybromyalgia last yr too. I am feeling very lonely at the minute. I used to work as a barmaid so lots of interaction with people and now I'm stuck at home not knowing how I'm gonna be day to day. Anyone else feel like this and how do you deal with it
I'm also single Op, live alone and currently out of work, I find this site is great for not only wanting to meet people but also for a good laugh...I'm on here very regularly and I chat to some really nice guys and women...some that I will never meet for what ever reason and some that there's a possibility..some that I have already met. Who knows what's going happen around the next corner. The forums are also good to join in with. Take it each day by day OP and all I can say is get chatting like it's a social site if that makes you feel better..as it does me "
yeah iv bin goin on the forums more n commenting xx thankyou for the advice x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *egoMan
over a year ago
Preston |
Fibro ain’t too bad once you learn to adjust. I’ve fount pregablin which targets Neuropain is a good friend. My late partner had them at megadoses if I took one I’d be feeling d*unk the next day, but a normal 50mg dose was fine. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yeah I lost my soulmate. There's like a residual sucky loneliness.
I cope by deflecting with dark humour and sarcasm.
Occasionally, being vulnerable and then pretending it never happened.
Doing 'stuff'. sorry to hear that . Life sucks "
It can be cruel. Adjusting to loss is not a simple thing.
Thanks I hope you find some joy.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
First of all, I’m so sorry about your diagnosis, I hope you find a management plan to help alleviate at least some of your pain.
Secondly, for many years I felt lonely even when my life was full, I’ve found I’m much less lonely the less people around me, but this is purely by finding joy in other things and online groups too be involved in. I got heavily into gardening, I have our animals, I’m not sure if you have any/are able to have any.
Your profession is highly sociable so it will take a while to find your new normal again, but it can definitely be done. It may just take a while.
Good luck OP.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lexm87Man
over a year ago
Various |
As someone here said, you have taken the biggest step, and been open about the problem. You are amongst a hugely diverse collection of people here with vastly differing experiences and lifeskills. Where else can you discuss cooking tips, long term medical condition management, crisps, Japanese rope bondage, socks and car insurance - in the same thread.
Anonymity allows you to ask the questions that keep you awake.
Flirting is optional, but does keep your brain on its toes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fibro ain’t too bad once you learn to adjust. I’ve fount pregablin which targets Neuropain is a good friend. My late partner had them at megadoses if I took one I’d be feeling d*unk the next day, but a normal 50mg dose was fine."
I'm on duloxetine and sertraline the pain is still there goin back the docs in a couple of wks
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"First of all, I’m so sorry about your diagnosis, I hope you find a management plan to help alleviate at least some of your pain.
Secondly, for many years I felt lonely even when my life was full, I’ve found I’m much less lonely the less people around me, but this is purely by finding joy in other things and online groups too be involved in. I got heavily into gardening, I have our animals, I’m not sure if you have any/are able to have any.
Your profession is highly sociable so it will take a while to find your new normal again, but it can definitely be done. It may just take a while.
Good luck OP.
Mrs"
thankyou for Ur comments . M yes I hav 2 dogs they keep me goin lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"As someone here said, you have taken the biggest step, and been open about the problem. You are amongst a hugely diverse collection of people here with vastly differing experiences and lifeskills. Where else can you discuss cooking tips, long term medical condition management, crisps, Japanese rope bondage, socks and car insurance - in the same thread.
Anonymity allows you to ask the questions that keep you awake.
Flirting is optional, but does keep your brain on its toes. "
so true mayb that's why I did it . And yes the variety of questions is fabulous lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Fibro ain’t too bad once you learn to adjust. I’ve fount pregablin which targets Neuropain is a good friend. My late partner had them at megadoses if I took one I’d be feeling d*unk the next day, but a normal 50mg dose was fine. I'm on duloxetine and sertraline the pain is still there goin back the docs in a couple of wks "
I found Pregabilin helps me immensely with fibro pain.
It works well with my Paroxetine too.
I try to get out of the house for a walk every day to keep everything moving.
That helps with the fibromyalgia and arthritis stiffness.
I've been on my own for 13½ years and wasn't close to him for over a decade before he left.
You'll get used to not having someone around.
Focus on something that makes you happy that doesn't need a partner.
I'm going to go back to swimming when my chesty cough clears up.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fibro ain’t too bad once you learn to adjust. I’ve fount pregablin which targets Neuropain is a good friend. My late partner had them at megadoses if I took one I’d be feeling d*unk the next day, but a normal 50mg dose was fine. I'm on duloxetine and sertraline the pain is still there goin back the docs in a couple of wks
I found Pregabilin helps me immensely with fibro pain.
It works well with my Paroxetine too.
I try to get out of the house for a walk every day to keep everything moving.
That helps with the fibromyalgia and arthritis stiffness.
I've been on my own for 13½ years and wasn't close to him for over a decade before he left.
You'll get used to not having someone around.
Focus on something that makes you happy that doesn't need a partner.
I'm going to go back to swimming when my chesty cough clears up.
"
I want to try start swimming I havnt done anythin for me for yrs always the kids then partners |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been single for just over 2 years now after a bad marriage.
There are aspects of a relationship that I miss but I know I'm not ready for one and I'm not sure I ever will be. I'm very emotionally unavailable.
I have fibromyalgia and have had it since I suffered a stroke in 2016, I was unemployed for quite a while due to the issues that the fibro causes. I'm now in a job that I love within education.
It takes time to get used to your new normal and you will find what works for you, some days can be pretty hard but fab actually makes me more sociable . I find that if I spend to much time alone I struggle a bit and become rather sad which doesn't help with my pain flare ups.
Please reach out if you need to I totally get it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Fibro ain’t too bad once you learn to adjust. I’ve fount pregablin which targets Neuropain is a good friend. My late partner had them at megadoses if I took one I’d be feeling d*unk the next day, but a normal 50mg dose was fine. I'm on duloxetine and sertraline the pain is still there goin back the docs in a couple of wks
I found Pregabilin helps me immensely with fibro pain.
It works well with my Paroxetine too.
I try to get out of the house for a walk every day to keep everything moving.
That helps with the fibromyalgia and arthritis stiffness.
I've been on my own for 13½ years and wasn't close to him for over a decade before he left.
You'll get used to not having someone around.
Focus on something that makes you happy that doesn't need a partner.
I'm going to go back to swimming when my chesty cough clears up.
I want to try start swimming I havnt done anythin for me for yrs always the kids then partners "
We took our children swimming regularly, and I joined an aquarobics class for a while, then took my grandchildren when they were old enough.
They don't want to come with me any more so I'm going to go on my own. I can't do lane swimming; I flop around in the shallow end of the main pool, but I feel so peaceful afterwards, and it's good for the heart. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been single8 years which I didn't expect at my time of life,I have bouts of feeling lonely in the winter months when the dark nights have set in
I do like my independence but I do miss having someone special in my life |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hey OP.
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through all this. Well done for reaching out. The lounge has lots of lovely people who are always happy to chat.
I've been single for the best part of 14 years and I spent 13 of those years feeling very lonely and convinced that in order to find my happy ever after, I needed a man.
Its only in the last 6 months I've realised that my happy ever after comes from me and creating the life that I choose.
I understand things are tough right now for you so please be kind to yourself and reach out to people around you.
Dogs are wonderful company and force us to get out the house and interact. Have you thought about looking to see if there are any local meet up groups? My cousin has been to a few and swears by them for getting to know new people.
Local pages for where you live on Facebook may also list things you might want to get involved in when you feel able or services you can access that may help.
I don't know where you live but the GP here has a wellbeing service they can refer people to for support and help when managing long term conditions. I used to work for our local team and they do amazing and things to help people with general wellbeing too. Including access to discounted gym membership and things like mindfulness and various groups.
I hope that you start to feel better soon xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Iv bin single nearly a yr now . I miss bein in a relationship. Ontop of this I got diagnosed with fybromyalgia last yr too. I am feeling very lonely at the minute. I used to work as a barmaid so lots of interaction with people and now I'm stuck at home not knowing how I'm gonna be day to day. Anyone else feel like this and how do you deal with it
I'm also single Op, live alone and currently out of work, I find this site is great for not only wanting to meet people but also for a good laugh...I'm on here very regularly and I chat to some really nice guys and women...some that I will never meet for what ever reason and some that there's a possibility..some that I have already met. Who knows what's going happen around the next corner. The forums are also good to join in with. Take it each day by day OP and all I can say is get chatting like it's a social site if that makes you feel better..as it does me yeah iv bin goin on the forums more n commenting xx thankyou for the advice x"
Your very welcome OP...any time you wanna chat about anything you can DM me..x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've been single for just over 2 years now after a bad marriage.
There are aspects of a relationship that I miss but I know I'm not ready for one and I'm not sure I ever will be. I'm very emotionally unavailable.
I have fibromyalgia and have had it since I suffered a stroke in 2016, I was unemployed for quite a while due to the issues that the fibro causes. I'm now in a job that I love within education.
It takes time to get used to your new normal and you will find what works for you, some days can be pretty hard but fab actually makes me more sociable . I find that if I spend to much time alone I struggle a bit and become rather sad which doesn't help with my pain flare ups.
Please reach out if you need to I totally get it.
"
thankyou so much for messaging. I get totally that my flare ups sometimes happen due to my mood . It's so hard to get out of it at times. I am in the learning part of this illness n I know a few triggers already . My life at the minute is a vicious circle |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fibro ain’t too bad once you learn to adjust. I’ve fount pregablin which targets Neuropain is a good friend. My late partner had them at megadoses if I took one I’d be feeling d*unk the next day, but a normal 50mg dose was fine. I'm on duloxetine and sertraline the pain is still there goin back the docs in a couple of wks
I found Pregabilin helps me immensely with fibro pain.
It works well with my Paroxetine too.
I try to get out of the house for a walk every day to keep everything moving.
That helps with the fibromyalgia and arthritis stiffness.
I've been on my own for 13½ years and wasn't close to him for over a decade before he left.
You'll get used to not having someone around.
Focus on something that makes you happy that doesn't need a partner.
I'm going to go back to swimming when my chesty cough clears up.
I want to try start swimming I havnt done anythin for me for yrs always the kids then partners
We took our children swimming regularly, and I joined an aquarobics class for a while, then took my grandchildren when they were old enough.
They don't want to come with me any more so I'm going to go on my own. I can't do lane swimming; I flop around in the shallow end of the main pool, but I feel so peaceful afterwards, and it's good for the heart."
I'm the same I dnt like the deep end like to be able to touch the bottom even if it's just on my top toes lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've been single8 years which I didn't expect at my time of life,I have bouts of feeling lonely in the winter months when the dark nights have set in
I do like my independence but I do miss having someone special in my life"
yeah I get that. I miss havin someone there not just for sex for everything that goes with a relationship. I was in a sexless relationship for 8 yrs he was very controlling. I dnt think that has helped my confidence or well being |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey OP.
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through all this. Well done for reaching out. The lounge has lots of lovely people who are always happy to chat.
I've been single for the best part of 14 years and I spent 13 of those years feeling very lonely and convinced that in order to find my happy ever after, I needed a man.
Its only in the last 6 months I've realised that my happy ever after comes from me and creating the life that I choose.
I understand things are tough right now for you so please be kind to yourself and reach out to people around you.
Dogs are wonderful company and force us to get out the house and interact. Have you thought about looking to see if there are any local meet up groups? My cousin has been to a few and swears by them for getting to know new people.
Local pages for where you live on Facebook may also list things you might want to get involved in when you feel able or services you can access that may help.
I don't know where you live but the GP here has a wellbeing service they can refer people to for support and help when managing long term conditions. I used to work for our local team and they do amazing and things to help people with general wellbeing too. Including access to discounted gym membership and things like mindfulness and various groups.
I hope that you start to feel better soon xx"
thankyou so much. I asked my doctor about gym passes n he said theyr only for overweight n diabetic people. I thought yo myself well I'm classed as obese n it wld help my mental health so I am goin back in a wk or so n gonna ask again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was single for 9 years before I met Mr on here belive it or not. Started as fwb and just naturally developed into more. Neither of us were looking for anything serious it just happened.
I'm a firm beliver in when you're least expecting it it happens. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Iv bin single nearly a yr now . I miss bein in a relationship. Ontop of this I got diagnosed with fybromyalgia last yr too. I am feeling very lonely at the minute. I used to work as a barmaid so lots of interaction with people and now I'm stuck at home not knowing how I'm gonna be day to day. Anyone else feel like this and how do you deal with it "
Getting it off your chest is a good start. I understand the loneliness thing - it's not just that but also coming to terms with a different way of life following your diagnosis. I have MS and one of the medical team looking after me said that dealing with a lofe-changing diagnosis is the same psychological process as going through grief of losing a loved one. Which helped me make more sense of things. I do pay for private counselling to help, and also have found the Samaritans listening service helpful for when I feel like I just need to vent a bit. The number is 116 123.
Yes I've someone in my life, and yes I've some close friends and family but loneliness is still something I feel from time and its horrible. Sending a gentle hug and hope you're feeling a bit more like yourself soon
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
