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Why do divers fall backwards?

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By *aggy dolls OP Couple over a year ago

bradford

Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat.

Hit me with your favourite bad jokes

Mr H.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where does a General keep his armies?

In his sleevies

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By *UFSWoman over a year ago

belfast

Bigfoot is sometimes confused with sasquatch yeti never complains

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What’s white and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A washing machine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What’s white and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A washing machine

Jesus

Out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If A is for apple and B is for Banana, what’s C for?

Plastic explosives.

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By *aggy dolls OP Couple over a year ago

bradford

"What’s white and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A washing machine

At the very least you'd get a clean break

I'll get my coat...

Mr H

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What’s white and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A washing machine

My wife’s arse… I’m probably on the naughty step now

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By *otSoPoshWoman over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"If A is for apple and B is for Banana, what’s C for?

Plastic explosives."

I laughed way too hard at that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What’s white and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A washing machine

Jesus

Out."

Wait I’ve got more!!

What’s pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff

What’s blue and fluffy?

Pink fluff holding its breath

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What’s white and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A washing machine

At the very least you'd get a clean break

I'll get my coat...

Mr H "

Very good

I’ll add that to the joke

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If A is for apple and B is for Banana, what’s C for?

Plastic explosives.

I laughed way too hard at that.

It’s so bad it’s good

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What’s white and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A washing machine

Jesus

Out.

Wait I’ve got more!!

What’s pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff

What’s blue and fluffy?

Pink fluff holding its breath

I hate you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What’s white and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A washing machine

My wife’s arse… I’m probably on the naughty step now

Yes. Yes you are

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What’s white and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A washing machine

Jesus

Out.

Wait I’ve got more!!

What’s pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff

What’s blue and fluffy?

Pink fluff holding its breath

I hate you "

Okay one more then I’m out

Why the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was dead

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was stapled to the first monkey

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he thought it was a game

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My boss said he was going to fire the employee with the worst posture.

I have a hunch it’s going to be me.

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

The right leg said to the left leg… “don’t talk to that one in the middle, he’s a dick”.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What’s white and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A washing machine

Jesus

Out.

Wait I’ve got more!!

What’s pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff

What’s blue and fluffy?

Pink fluff holding its breath

I hate you

Okay one more then I’m out

Why the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was dead

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was stapled to the first monkey

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he thought it was a game

I have no words for this blasphemy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What’s white and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A washing machine

Jesus

Out.

Wait I’ve got more!!

What’s pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff

What’s blue and fluffy?

Pink fluff holding its breath

I hate you

Okay one more then I’m out

Why the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was dead

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was stapled to the first monkey

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he thought it was a game

I have no words for this blasphemy

You laughed tho didn’t you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees

They are very good at it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees

They are very good at it "

That actually made me laugh out loud

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why does an elephant paint his balls red?

So he can hide in cherry trees

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's the loudest noise in the jungle

A giraffe eating cherries

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wonko have you got any jokes not about elephants?

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Why can't you find any headache tablets in the jungle?

Because the parrot's eat em all.

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By *ittlebirdWoman over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"The right leg said to the left leg… “don’t talk to that one in the middle, he’s a dick”.

I laughed a lot at that one

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By *aizyWoman over a year ago

west midlands

"Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees

They are very good at it "

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Why do giraffes have such long necks?

Because their heads are so far away from their bodies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do giraffes have such long necks?

Because their heads are so far away from their bodies

Because they have smelly feet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wonko have you got any jokes not about elephants?"

Yes

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By *aggy dolls OP Couple over a year ago

bradford

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

Mr H

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By *iss E99TV/TS over a year ago

Near Taunton Somerset

Ok here goes, it’s called Norfolk duck.

Man walks into a butcher’s and said “I’ll have a Norfolk duck please”

The butch said “yes sir we’ve got some ducks, I’ll just go out back and get you one”

Butcher returns places a duck on the counter and said “there’s your Norfolk duck sir”

The man undone his cuff, rolled his sleeve up and popped a finger up the ducks ass “that’s not a Norfolk duck, that’s a Devon duck” the man said.

So the butcher went out back and returned with a second duck “there’s your Norfolk duck sir”

Man pops a finger up the second ducks arse and said “that’s a Somerset duck”

This time the butcher went out back and returned with 2 ducks.

The man popped a finger up each ducks arse “that’s a Worcestershire duck and that’s a Warwickshire duck” the man said.

At this point the butcher said “that’s a funny accent sir, can I ask where you’re from?

The man unbuttoned his trousers, turned around, pulled his pants down, bent over and said “I don’t know you tell me”

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By *ympho6969Woman over a year ago

glasgow

Why does Santa have such a large sack.

He only cums once a year

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By *onnynclaireCouple over a year ago

Reading

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff? Tequila!!

Worst joke I have that.

Best joke is about butter. I won’t tell you lot though as you might spread it.

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