FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Unreachable desire
Unreachable desire
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Morning fab folk
Are we well?
So are there any profiles that you are attracted to that you can’t contact? That you fantasise about but due to their filters you’re not for them?
Another unreachable point…. Do you love being off grid?
2-4-1 on this one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always been able to message if I want, shockingly men don't seem to use filters.
They don't always reply, or they but eventually it's a BLOCK.... beginning to think it might be me. |
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By *KloganMan
over a year ago
Ramsbottom |
"I wouldn’t say attracted to. There are some I’d like to have a chat with but filter’s won’t allow it.
I won’t lose any sleep over it though. "
Yep, this in a nutshell… the filters are there for a reason so respect them and move on. |
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I can honestly say I've never had that issue in seven years here.
I don't make first contact and haven't in more than 3 years but even when I did, if a profile caught my eye but something prevented me from contacting them I would move on without a second thought.
I find it impossible to be attracted to someone or feel desire through a few pics and words on a profile.
It might spark interest and the attraction only follows through chat and multiple social meets. |
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I rarely message first so don't run into this problem. Sometimes I want to message privately on the forum and find they have blocked all women but it isn't because I'm interested in them it's usually to offer support. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Always been able to message if I want, shockingly men don't seem to use filters.
They don't always reply, or they but eventually it's a BLOCK.... beginning to think it might be me. "
I mean, blocks means less profiles to deal with? Narrows the numbers down I guess |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wouldn’t say attracted to. There are some I’d like to have a chat with but filter’s won’t allow it.
I won’t lose any sleep over it though.
Yep, this in a nutshell… the filters are there for a reason so respect them and move on. "
There was no mention of disrespecting filters….or finding other ways to be a pest …it was merely the question of you have desire for someone from your side but you wouldn’t be for them. That was the simple reason behind the thread..that’s all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose that there are some people that due to lack of logistics, and the fact they look like models (and seem to only meet others who also look like models) I just quietly admire from a far |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We don’t contact people for fear of rejection. So we don’t meet either. And then we moan about it. *sigh*"
I can’t imagine you’d get much rejection.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can honestly say I've never had that issue in seven years here.
I don't make first contact and haven't in more than 3 years but even when I did, if a profile caught my eye but something prevented me from contacting them I would move on without a second thought.
I find it impossible to be attracted to someone or feel desire through a few pics and words on a profile.
It might spark interest and the attraction only follows through chat and multiple social meets. "
This is a very impressive response muchos likeos |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don’t message first that often, but it’s never been an issue for us if we have. "
Seems I’m learning that men don’t have the filters haha were just open to get all the messages haha |
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"We don’t contact people for fear of rejection. So we don’t meet either. And then we moan about it. *sigh*
I can’t imagine you’d get much rejection.
"
Why do you imagine that out of curiosity?
Is your assumption based solely on having good pics?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I suppose that there are some people that due to lack of logistics, and the fact they look like models (and seem to only meet others who also look like models) I just quietly admire from a far "
Admire from afar…. I like this description |
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By *KloganMan
over a year ago
Ramsbottom |
"I wouldn’t say attracted to. There are some I’d like to have a chat with but filter’s won’t allow it.
I won’t lose any sleep over it though.
Yep, this in a nutshell… the filters are there for a reason so respect them and move on.
There was no mention of disrespecting filters….or finding other ways to be a pest …it was merely the question of you have desire for someone from your side but you wouldn’t be for them. That was the simple reason behind the thread..that’s all "
Apologies, It’s a hangover post I’m afraid.. so I’ve not worded it that well..
The answer though is Yes! There’s a few I’d love to talk to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've been out of a few couples age range before that I would have messaged, but I'm not losing sleep over it! "
Oh good…. Because sleep is so so important |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We don’t contact people for fear of rejection. So we don’t meet either. And then we moan about it. *sigh*
I can’t imagine you’d get much rejection.
Why do you imagine that out of curiosity?
Is your assumption based solely on having good pics?
"
Not at all….my assumption… whether it be correct or not…. Is that they are a couple on fab … which is mostly filled with men…. So if they were to approach the multitude of men… my assumption would be that most would say yes. … but that’s just my assumption…. Doesn’t have to be everyone’s. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"No. Like Lilith said, men don't have particularly tight filters. There have been people where I've decided to not contact them but if I really wanted to I could."
I've just checked. The onky message filters I have set are no newbies and nobody with no visible photos.
Aside from that the box is always open. But not due to desperation or any dumbing down of preferences.
It's just to enable contact from people using the forums.
But yes. I'd agree the level of filters many men choose to use are minimal in comparison to women and couples.
At least those women and couples that know how to manage their inboxes....
A |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wouldn’t say attracted to. There are some I’d like to have a chat with but filter’s won’t allow it.
I won’t lose any sleep over it though.
Yep, this in a nutshell… the filters are there for a reason so respect them and move on.
There was no mention of disrespecting filters….or finding other ways to be a pest …it was merely the question of you have desire for someone from your side but you wouldn’t be for them. That was the simple reason behind the thread..that’s all
Apologies, It’s a hangover post I’m afraid.. so I’ve not worded it that well..
The answer though is Yes! There’s a few I’d love to talk to. "
No need for apologies as I wasn’t offended by your response…. I just quite simply interacted with your point as that’s how I like the threads to go…. To spark interaction with multiple fab folk …. I like to talk |
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"I suppose that there are some people that due to lack of logistics, and the fact they look like models (and seem to only meet others who also look like models) I just quietly admire from a far "
Same! It's nice to admire them from the hotlist though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. Like Lilith said, men don't have particularly tight filters. There have been people where I've decided to not contact them but if I really wanted to I could.
I've just checked. The onky message filters I have set are no newbies and nobody with no visible photos.
Aside from that the box is always open. But not due to desperation or any dumbing down of preferences.
It's just to enable contact from people using the forums.
But yes. I'd agree the level of filters many men choose to use are minimal in comparison to women and couples.
At least those women and couples that know how to manage their inboxes....
A"
I manage my box well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is one that I'm too young to contact, I'm intrigued hence why I wanted to message but it doesn't bother me
We all have filters for a reason well the ones that use them do. |
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"We don’t contact people for fear of rejection. So we don’t meet either. And then we moan about it. *sigh*
I can’t imagine you’d get much rejection.
Why do you imagine that out of curiosity?
Is your assumption based solely on having good pics?
Not at all….my assumption… whether it be correct or not…. Is that they are a couple on fab … which is mostly filled with men…. So if they were to approach the multitude of men… my assumption would be that most would say yes. … but that’s just my assumption…. Doesn’t have to be everyone’s. "
I have lots of filters in place so with apologies to the couple who posted this above I'll use them as an example.
If they wished they could contact me because the man in the couple is above my lower age filter.
The woman however is well below that filter so I would politely reject them based on that alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don’t contact people for fear of rejection. So we don’t meet either. And then we moan about it. *sigh*"
I wouldnt see the pair of you getting rejected by many x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are certain forumites whose jib I like the cut of. But I’m shy (no, really). Not very chatty. So I don’t message.
"
Should always chat…. It’s only words on a screen…. And you never know… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t message first that often, but it’s never been an issue for us if we have.
Seems I’m learning that men don’t have the filters haha were just open to get all the messages haha "
Keeping your options open isn’t a bad thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are certain forumites whose jib I like the cut of. But I’m shy (no, really). Not very chatty. So I don’t message.
"
I'm the same with a few profiles on here, it takes a while for me to decide whether to send a first message and often I leave it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We don’t contact people for fear of rejection. So we don’t meet either. And then we moan about it. *sigh*
I can’t imagine you’d get much rejection.
Why do you imagine that out of curiosity?
Is your assumption based solely on having good pics?
Not at all….my assumption… whether it be correct or not…. Is that they are a couple on fab … which is mostly filled with men…. So if they were to approach the multitude of men… my assumption would be that most would say yes. … but that’s just my assumption…. Doesn’t have to be everyone’s.
I have lots of filters in place so with apologies to the couple who posted this above I'll use them as an example.
If they wished they could contact me because the man in the couple is above my lower age filter.
The woman however is well below that filter so I would politely reject them based on that alone. "
Well it seems you would reject …I would accept…. So that’s a tick for each…. Maybe there could be another thread for a yes or no for then (said in jest and just tongue & cheek) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don’t message first that often, but it’s never been an issue for us if we have.
Seems I’m learning that men don’t have the filters haha were just open to get all the messages haha
Keeping your options open isn’t a bad thing "
Options are good |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"No. Like Lilith said, men don't have particularly tight filters. There have been people where I've decided to not contact them but if I really wanted to I could.
I've just checked. The onky message filters I have set are no newbies and nobody with no visible photos.
Aside from that the box is always open. But not due to desperation or any dumbing down of preferences.
It's just to enable contact from people using the forums.
But yes. I'd agree the level of filters many men choose to use are minimal in comparison to women and couples.
At least those women and couples that know how to manage their inboxes....
A
I manage my box well "
What about your messages......
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. Like Lilith said, men don't have particularly tight filters. There have been people where I've decided to not contact them but if I really wanted to I could.
I've just checked. The onky message filters I have set are no newbies and nobody with no visible photos.
Aside from that the box is always open. But not due to desperation or any dumbing down of preferences.
It's just to enable contact from people using the forums.
But yes. I'd agree the level of filters many men choose to use are minimal in comparison to women and couples.
At least those women and couples that know how to manage their inboxes....
A
I manage my box well
What about your messages......
A"
I'm a tad rubbish at that, I only reply to the hot ones.... |
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I've definitely fallen foul of age limits a couple of times, but I can't actually remember the specific profiles so I don't think it had that big an impact on me!
But there are also people I might fancy who I don't message for reasons that have nothing to do with filters... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There’s quite a few that filters prevent us from reaching out to people. We always just see it as if they’re interested regardless of filters, they’ll wink or message us
One yesterday I just wanted to message her and ask her where she got her beautiful bodysuit from but we were too old
Mrs |
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By *anae21Woman
over a year ago
Nearer than you think |
I've contacted men just to compliment a photo, or comment on a forum post, with no agenda. Mostly because I do consider many "out of my league and manage my expectations accordingly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don’t contact people for fear of rejection. So we don’t meet either. And then we moan about it. *sigh*"
If you both get rejected there is no hope for anyone
Awesome pics and seriously the best profile wording on here !!!
You guys are obviously a lot of fun to be around ! |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Morning fab folk
Are we well?
So are there any profiles that you are attracted to that you can’t contact? That you fantasise about but due to their filters you’re not for them?
Another unreachable point…. Do you love being off grid?
2-4-1 on this one " I don't fantasise about them but somebody local to me similar age has set their age limit to 49 damnit she updated her status to say she was bored this morning how frustrating |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's definitely people I think about messaging then remember I hate small talk & general online chatting so I don't.
I'd rather meet people at socials, no filters apply there.
Mrs "
I’m building up to big social… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No. Like Lilith said, men don't have particularly tight filters. There have been people where I've decided to not contact them but if I really wanted to I could.
I've just checked. The onky message filters I have set are no newbies and nobody with no visible photos.
Aside from that the box is always open. But not due to desperation or any dumbing down of preferences.
It's just to enable contact from people using the forums.
But yes. I'd agree the level of filters many men choose to use are minimal in comparison to women and couples.
At least those women and couples that know how to manage their inboxes....
A
I manage my box well
What about your messages......
A
I'm a tad rubbish at that, I only reply to the hot ones...."
That’s why I didn’t get a reply |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've contacted men just to compliment a photo, or comment on a forum post, with no agenda. Mostly because I do consider many "out of my league and manage my expectations accordingly. "
Well a compliment is as good a reason as any to message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I very rarely message first,if i,if i feel a vibe or notice hes checked me out a few times then il bite the bullet and message him
I'm kind of old fashioned so prefer the guy to make the first contact |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always been able to message if I want, shockingly men don't seem to use filters.
They don't always reply, or they but eventually it's a BLOCK.... beginning to think it might be me. "
I think my inbox blocked your message |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is one that is amazing. However we are friends on the real world so blocked each other. I see her on hot photos page 1 now and again. Sigh and wish lol"
So did you agree to block…. Or see and not want them to know it’s you so blocked? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Plenty of people I'd like to message but I'm currently in a bout of " I'm hideous they'll tell me to bugger off" lol"
That def is not the case, and if anyone does its their loss xx |
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"Plenty of people I'd like to message but I'm currently in a bout of " I'm hideous they'll tell me to bugger off" lol
That def is not the case, and if anyone does its their loss xx "
Thank you xxx |
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I don't fantasise about people on here and I have no filters whatsoever, other than 'age'.
My interest in someone is based upon what they've written in their profile and less so on their photographs. If the profile is out of bounds for whatever reason I respect their filters and just move on.
If we put aside keeping in touch with Fab forumites and friends I rarely make contact. In almost 2½ years I've only sent three messages. All of my interactions and have been on the back of the other person making contact. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't fantasise about people on here and I have no filters whatsoever, other than 'age'.
My interest in someone is based upon what they've written in their profile and less so on their photographs. If the profile is out of bounds for whatever reason I respect their filters and just move on.
If we put aside keeping in touch with Fab forumites and friends I rarely make contact. In almost 2½ years I've only sent three messages. All of my interactions and have been on the back of the other person making contact."
Hats off to you then with people approaching you and not needing to.
I don’t have that |
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By *athuilMan
over a year ago
up north |
Yes, RedforDanger.
I’m absolutely attracted to her based on the photos I can see and she has such a great smile but a) We’re miles apart and b) I’m not a site supporter, so I’ll just admire from afar
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There are a surprising number of profiles I've wanted to contact where the minimum age has been set to 28 (I'm 27). So close, yet so far... Also, maybe there aren't that many in context but they seem to stick in my mind. There are a few with round numbers like 30 as well or some function of their own age which excludes me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always been able to message if I want, shockingly men don't seem to use filters.
They don't always reply, or they but eventually it's a BLOCK.... beginning to think it might be me. "
They must be nuts- need to give their heads a wobble!! Doubt they have enough confidence to speak to such a hot lady! |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
There are no end that have caught my eye due to their images and their posts on the forums. Some it's a pure physical attraction thing and some because words flow from their mouths with the beauty of Mr Whippy ice cream oozing from the nozzle, landing beautifully on a chocolate covered cone perfectly symmetrically, covered in glittery sprinkles and topped with a chilled flake.
But of course there's preferences, filters and tastes, and you can only vaguely gauge those from words on a screen.
Age is the most common barrier of course.
It's sad sometimes that you have to put physical age rather than mental, as I suspect that may open a few more doors.
But it is what it is. And at least you get to engage with them in here, peruse their carefully constructed photos and wonder 'what if?'
We'll never be all things to all people. And if you can't message them then that's life. There's someone for everyone somewhere.
A |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are no end that have caught my eye due to their images and their posts on the forums. Some it's a pure physical attraction thing and some because words flow from their mouths with the beauty of Mr Whippy ice cream oozing from the nozzle, landing beautifully on a chocolate covered cone perfectly symmetrically, covered in glittery sprinkles and topped with a chilled flake.
But of course there's preferences, filters and tastes, and you can only vaguely gauge those from words on a screen.
Age is the most common barrier of course.
It's sad sometimes that you have to put physical age rather than mental, as I suspect that may open a few more doors.
But it is what it is. And at least you get to engage with them in here, peruse their carefully constructed photos and wonder 'what if?'
We'll never be all things to all people. And if you can't message them then that's life. There's someone for everyone somewhere.
A"
Yes there is….. someone for everyone… and if you can’t message then fantasy can be the escape |
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There are loads of people I enjoy chatting to via the fora that I can't contact and vice versa. Personally I think it's a waste of energy and thinking to to pine after the unreachable.
However we have seen s property that we could never afford in a million years that we both often look at and lust after. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are loads of people I enjoy chatting to via the fora that I can't contact and vice versa. Personally I think it's a waste of energy and thinking to to pine after the unreachable.
However we have seen s property that we could never afford in a million years that we both often look at and lust after. "
I guess that’s the same thing then, no? |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"Morning fab folk
Are we well?
So are there any profiles that you are attracted to that you can’t contact? That you fantasise about but due to their filters you’re not for them?
Another unreachable point…. Do you love being off grid?
2-4-1 on this one "
No point in fantasising about things I cannot have. |
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"There are no end that have caught my eye due to their images and their posts on the forums. Some it's a pure physical attraction thing and some because words flow from their mouths with the beauty of Mr Whippy ice cream oozing from the nozzle, landing beautifully on a chocolate covered cone perfectly symmetrically, covered in glittery sprinkles and topped with a chilled flake.
But of course there's preferences, filters and tastes, and you can only vaguely gauge those from words on a screen.
Age is the most common barrier of course.
It's sad sometimes that you have to put physical age rather than mental, as I suspect that may open a few more doors.
But it is what it is. And at least you get to engage with them in here, peruse their carefully constructed photos and wonder 'what if?'
We'll never be all things to all people. And if you can't message them then that's life. There's someone for everyone somewhere.
A"
As my husband is fond of saying, there's a bum for every seat.... unless of course you're playing musical chairs |
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"Wouldn't say fantasie over. But yeah men rarely use message filters. A few of you do though. "
I’m sometimes surprised how many men filter out all other men. (But I suppose the constant ‘I know you’re straight but can I suck you off anyway?’ messages do get tiresome.) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wouldn't say fantasie over. But yeah men rarely use message filters. A few of you do though. "
Just no men for me …. Seems simple…. Oh and maybe an age range |
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