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what is a fair and reasonable amount of weekly child support?
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"At least £120 per week" lol it dont cost that much to keep a kid | |||
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"I know this is a hot topic - I totally appreciate that many employed men get stung by the csa but as a single mother whose ex is self employed and has a very adept accountant, I receive the princely sum of £30 per month. This doesn't even cover the costs of school meals for the month, let alone anything else, clothing etc. I know what I think is a reasonable and fair amount of monthly child support is, what do you think? Before I get slammed, I go to work!" My ex gives me £25 a week. And if bigger items are needed he puts towards if when he can. I'd rather he be more generous with his time tbh but I suppose I can't have everything, It's difficult to give an accurate figure as it all depends on circumstance x | |||
"I guess it depends how much you earn. Don't the CSA work on both sides disposable income? " as far as i know the CSA take £10 for each child every £100 you earn, so 1 child would be £10 a week, 2 £20, 3 £30 etc | |||
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"At least £120 per week lol it dont cost that much to keep a kid" Well this week £15 school meals £35 school shoes £10 after school club £15 school jumper £10 out with friends £80 fuel for car back and forth Elec, gas quarter £10 per week Food quarter £30 per week List goes on and on | |||
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"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money" Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex? | |||
"At least £120 per week lol it dont cost that much to keep a kid Well this week £15 school meals £35 school shoes £10 after school club £15 school jumper £10 out with friends £80 fuel for car back and forth Elec, gas quarter £10 per week Food quarter £30 per week List goes on and on" yeah but child support is supposed go towards keeping a child, not keeping it so if ones paying £120 a week to me thats saying it costs £240 a week to keep a child, plus you dont buy school shes and jumpers ever week do you? and how is £80 a week for your car part of child support? | |||
"i think i would be grateful to get anything because you might of wanted a kid but he didnt." Actually, quite the opposite! He was the one who persuaded me to start a family!!!!!!! | |||
"I guess it depends how much you earn. Don't the CSA work on both sides disposable income? " No they dont if the absent parent is self employed, which is why I only get £30.00 per month! | |||
"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex?" I like the saying "if you bred them you feed them" | |||
"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex?" thats upto you if you want money from your ex, personally i would never ask mine for anything, i dont want his money, i can and do provide for my daughter myself and we do ok with any help from him, if i went to him for money i would feel like it was admitting i couldnt cope and i can | |||
"I know this is a hot topic - I totally appreciate that many employed men get stung by the csa but as a single mother whose ex is self employed and has a very adept accountant, I receive the princely sum of £30 per month. This doesn't even cover the costs of school meals for the month, let alone anything else, clothing etc. My ex doesnt even give his time! He has never bothered with his son! I know what I think is a reasonable and fair amount of monthly child support is, what do you think? Before I get slammed, I go to work! My ex gives me £25 a week. And if bigger items are needed he puts towards if when he can. I'd rather he be more generous with his time tbh but I suppose I can't have everything, It's difficult to give an accurate figure as it all depends on circumstance x " | |||
"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex?" Absolutely correct. And you shouldn't have to ask. If a man creates a life he should support that life. And £30 a month is shameful. | |||
"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex? I like the saying "if you bred them you feed them"" Are you applying that to both parents or just the mother? | |||
"i think i would be grateful to get anything because you might of wanted a kid but he didnt." If a man doesn't want a child then surely he should take all possible precautions. Which means use a condom always. I am aware that all forms of contraception can fail, but too many men in relationships play fertility lottery. It's very easy to say after the fact that they didn't want a child but it's much harder for a woman to walk away and begin again when there is an infant involved. | |||
"i think i would be grateful to get anything because you might of wanted a kid but he didnt. Actually, quite the opposite! He was the one who persuaded me to start a family!!!!!!!" That i can well believe.  | |||
"At least £120 per week lol it dont cost that much to keep a kid Well this week £15 school meals £35 school shoes £10 after school club £15 school jumper £10 out with friends £80 fuel for car back and forth Elec, gas quarter £10 per week Food quarter £30 per week List goes on and on yeah but child support is supposed go towards keeping a child, not keeping it so if ones paying £120 a week to me thats saying it costs £240 a week to keep a child, plus you dont buy school shes and jumpers ever week do you? and how is £80 a week for your car part of child support?" I do not use the car it is used to take her to and from school and clubs etc. what if parent with care is a stay at home. By the way I have no help from my ex in raising my daughter. Clothes are as you say as and when they are needed, but they do go though them at a rate of knots  | |||
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"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex? I like the saying "if you bred them you feed them" Are you applying that to both parents or just the mother?" It takes two to make a child and should be the same to keep them | |||
"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex? thats upto you if you want money from your ex, personally i would never ask mine for anything, i dont want his money, i can and do provide for my daughter myself and we do ok with any help from him, if i went to him for money i would feel like it was admitting i couldnt cope and i can" I can cope (just about) and my son has never gone without anything, he is dressed well, has two holidays per year but that is because I make sacrifices such as I buy clothes/shoes when I am desperate etc but why should that mean that my ex husband should not be made to be financially responsible for his child? I know for a fact that my ex doesnt make any sacrifices in his life! | |||
"At least £120 per week lol it dont cost that much to keep a kid Well this week £80 fuel for car back and forth List goes on and on" Is that an Oil Tanker you are running the kids around in  | |||
"Never been through the CSA, there bloody useless. We arranged it between ourselves and I pay £110 a month. Though I still take him out shopping for clothes uniform etc. You can't put a value on kids ever. Your kids are priceless!!!!!!" 
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"i think i would be grateful to get anything because you might of wanted a kid but he didnt. If a man doesn't want a child then surely he should take all possible precautions. Which means use a condom always. I am aware that all forms of contraception can fail, but too many men in relationships play fertility lottery. It's very easy to say after the fact that they didn't want a child but it's much harder for a woman to walk away and begin again when there is an infant involved." plus lots of women get pregnant by mistake, but we accept whats happened and get on with life, what would happen to the child if we both walked away after a split up saying....fuck it i didnt want the child im not paying for it 
if it happens it happens so we should man up and take responsibilities for our actions | |||
"At least £120 per week lol it dont cost that much to keep a kid Well this week £80 fuel for car back and forth List goes on and on Is that an Oil Tanker you are running the kids around in "Ford galaxy, lost one kid to a accident in a small car, never going to happen again | |||
"At least £120 per week lol it dont cost that much to keep a kid Well this week £80 fuel for car back and forth List goes on and on Is that an Oil Tanker you are running the kids around in "Bloody hell - didn't see that! i put about that much in my car a week and i'm driving all day with my job! Z | |||
"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex? thats upto you if you want money from your ex, personally i would never ask mine for anything, i dont want his money, i can and do provide for my daughter myself and we do ok with any help from him, if i went to him for money i would feel like it was admitting i couldnt cope and i can I can cope (just about) and my son has never gone without anything, he is dressed well, has two holidays per year but that is because I make sacrifices such as I buy clothes/shoes when I am desperate etc but why should that mean that my ex husband should not be made to be financially responsible for his child? I know for a fact that my ex doesnt make any sacrifices in his life!" i never said you should all because i ask for nothing off my ex that does not mean i think others shouldnt have anything either I just wouldnt ask him for anything, i dont need him or anything off him but that does not mean i dont think men should support their kids it just means id sooner not ask | |||
"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex? thats upto you if you want money from your ex, personally i would never ask mine for anything, i dont want his money, i can and do provide for my daughter myself and we do ok with any help from him, if i went to him for money i would feel like it was admitting i couldnt cope and i can I can cope (just about) and my son has never gone without anything, he is dressed well, has two holidays per year but that is because I make sacrifices such as I buy clothes/shoes when I am desperate etc but why should that mean that my ex husband should not be made to be financially responsible for his child? I know for a fact that my ex doesnt make any sacrifices in his life! i never said you should all because i ask for nothing off my ex that does not mean i think others shouldnt have anything either I just wouldnt ask him for anything, i dont need him or anything off him but that does not mean i dont think men should support their kids it just means id sooner not ask" But to be fair you shouldn't have to ask | |||
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"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex? thats upto you if you want money from your ex, personally i would never ask mine for anything, i dont want his money, i can and do provide for my daughter myself and we do ok with any help from him, if i went to him for money i would feel like it was admitting i couldnt cope and i can I can cope (just about) and my son has never gone without anything, he is dressed well, has two holidays per year but that is because I make sacrifices such as I buy clothes/shoes when I am desperate etc but why should that mean that my ex husband should not be made to be financially responsible for his child? I know for a fact that my ex doesnt make any sacrifices in his life! i never said you should all because i ask for nothing off my ex that does not mean i think others shouldnt have anything either I just wouldnt ask him for anything, i dont need him or anything off him but that does not mean i dont think men should support their kids it just means id sooner not ask But to be fair you shouldn't have to ask" my ex dont even buy my kids xmas or birthday gifts so hes not going to offer to give me money to keep them | |||
"CSA rate was 15% for 1st child and 5 for 2nd... I paid even before they got involved as they are my kids and responsibility." | |||
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"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex? thats upto you if you want money from your ex, personally i would never ask mine for anything, i dont want his money, i can and do provide for my daughter myself and we do ok with any help from him, if i went to him for money i would feel like it was admitting i couldnt cope and i can I can cope (just about) and my son has never gone without anything, he is dressed well, has two holidays per year but that is because I make sacrifices such as I buy clothes/shoes when I am desperate etc but why should that mean that my ex husband should not be made to be financially responsible for his child? I know for a fact that my ex doesnt make any sacrifices in his life! i never said you should all because i ask for nothing off my ex that does not mean i think others shouldnt have anything either I just wouldnt ask him for anything, i dont need him or anything off him but that does not mean i dont think men should support their kids it just means id sooner not ask But to be fair you shouldn't have to ask my ex dont even buy my kids xmas or birthday gifts so hes not going to offer to give me money to keep them" Sounds a great chap | |||
"i think i would be grateful to get anything because you might of wanted a kid but he didnt. Actually, quite the opposite! He was the one who persuaded me to start a family!!!!!!! That i can well believe. "Is that a sincere or sarcastic comment? | |||
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"i think i would be grateful to get anything because you might of wanted a kid but he didnt. If a man doesn't want a child then surely he should take all possible precautions. Which means use a condom always. I am aware that all forms of contraception can fail, but too many men in relationships play fertility lottery. It's very easy to say after the fact that they didn't want a child but it's much harder for a woman to walk away and begin again when there is an infant involved. plus lots of women get pregnant by mistake, but we accept whats happened and get on with life, what would happen to the child if we both walked away after a split up saying....fuck it i didnt want the child im not paying for it
if it happens it happens so we should man up and take responsibilities for our actions"Which is exactly what I am asking my child's father to do, man up and take responsibility! | |||
"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex? thats upto you if you want money from your ex, personally i would never ask mine for anything, i dont want his money, i can and do provide for my daughter myself and we do ok with any help from him, if i went to him for money i would feel like it was admitting i couldnt cope and i can I can cope (just about) and my son has never gone without anything, he is dressed well, has two holidays per year but that is because I make sacrifices such as I buy clothes/shoes when I am desperate etc but why should that mean that my ex husband should not be made to be financially responsible for his child? I know for a fact that my ex doesnt make any sacrifices in his life! i never said you should all because i ask for nothing off my ex that does not mean i think others shouldnt have anything either I just wouldnt ask him for anything, i dont need him or anything off him but that does not mean i dont think men should support their kids it just means id sooner not ask But to be fair you shouldn't have to ask my ex dont even buy my kids xmas or birthday gifts so hes not going to offer to give me money to keep them Sounds a great chap" hes just moved on hes now living with someone else who has two kids and he now see its as they are his responsability, he works to look after who lives in his house, he said he cant afford to keep two families so im left to look after mine while he looks after his new mrs and her kids No point arguing about it, gets you nowhere, best to just leave it be and get on with your life and leave him to get on with his | |||
"ive never asked my ex for child support, i work to provide for my kids myself If he wanted to offer i would take it but im not asking i wouldnt lower myself to ask him for money Why is it "lowering yourself" to expect the other parent to financially provide for their child? I do provide for my son, obviously, but why shouldnt my ex? thats upto you if you want money from your ex, personally i would never ask mine for anything, i dont want his money, i can and do provide for my daughter myself and we do ok with any help from him, if i went to him for money i would feel like it was admitting i couldnt cope and i can I can cope (just about) and my son has never gone without anything, he is dressed well, has two holidays per year but that is because I make sacrifices such as I buy clothes/shoes when I am desperate etc but why should that mean that my ex husband should not be made to be financially responsible for his child? I know for a fact that my ex doesnt make any sacrifices in his life! i never said you should all because i ask for nothing off my ex that does not mean i think others shouldnt have anything either I just wouldnt ask him for anything, i dont need him or anything off him but that does not mean i dont think men should support their kids it just means id sooner not ask" perhaps you should have worded your previous post differently then ie "lowering yourself" to ask??! | |||
"CSA rate was 15% for 1st child and 5 for 2nd... I paid even before they got involved as they are my kids and responsibility." If only all fathers had the same morals! | |||
"perhaps you should have worded your previous post differently then ie "lowering yourself" to ask??!" No i still stand by that, if i had to ask him for anything i would feel i was lowering myself Please do read anything i put and think the way i feel is the way i think others should because i dont Its all about how you feel and the type of relationship you have with your ex, i dont have the type where i could ask him so i dont bother | |||
"perhaps you should have worded your previous post differently then ie "lowering yourself" to ask??! No i still stand by that, if i had to ask him for anything i would feel i was lowering myself Please do read anything i put and think the way i feel is the way i think others should because i dont Its all about how you feel and the type of relationship you have with your ex, i dont have the type where i could ask him so i dont bother " | |||
"CSA rate was 15% for 1st child and 5 for 2nd... I paid even before they got involved as they are my kids and responsibility. If only all fathers had the same morals!" There are alot of parents that do pay. Think my parents would kill us if we didn't look after our children  | |||
"perhaps you should have worded your previous post differently then ie "lowering yourself" to ask??! No i still stand by that, if i had to ask him for anything i would feel i was lowering myself Please do read anything i put and think the way i feel is the way i think others should because i dont Its all about how you feel and the type of relationship you have with your ex, i dont have the type where i could ask him so i dont bother " I dont have any relationship with my child's father and neither does my child (his choice, not mine) but because I am unable to ask does that mean that my child shouldn't get? As I said in my original post, not sure who I despise more, my ex or the government who allow him to get away with it. I dont care if a child was borne out of a one night stand or a long standing relationship (mine was marriage), the fact of the matter is, if you have a child then you are bound to be both morally and financially responsible for that child until they reach 18. | |||
"perhaps you should have worded your previous post differently then ie "lowering yourself" to ask??! No i still stand by that, if i had to ask him for anything i would feel i was lowering myself Please do read anything i put and think the way i feel is the way i think others should because i dont Its all about how you feel and the type of relationship you have with your ex, i dont have the type where i could ask him so i dont bother I dont have any relationship with my child's father and neither does my child (his choice, not mine) but because I am unable to ask does that mean that my child shouldn't get? As I said in my original post, not sure who I despise more, my ex or the government who allow him to get away with it. I dont care if a child was borne out of a one night stand or a long standing relationship (mine was marriage), the fact of the matter is, if you have a child then you are bound to be both morally and financially responsible for that child until they reach 18. " Totally agree with you, some guys just want to dodge responsibilty - not all by any means - but with clever accounting you can't really blame any one else but him. Z | |||
"I know this is a hot topic - I totally appreciate that many employed men get stung by the csa but as a single mother whose ex is self employed and has a very adept accountant, I receive the princely sum of £30 per month. This doesn't even cover the costs of school meals for the month, let alone anything else, clothing etc. I know what I think is a reasonable and fair amount of monthly child support is, what do you think? Before I get slammed, I go to work!" The amount is what is needed to ensure his child is well looked after and has everything he or she needs to fell safe and secure and to enjoy life. | |||
"perhaps you should have worded your previous post differently then ie "lowering yourself" to ask??! No i still stand by that, if i had to ask him for anything i would feel i was lowering myself Please do read anything i put and think the way i feel is the way i think others should because i dont Its all about how you feel and the type of relationship you have with your ex, i dont have the type where i could ask him so i dont bother I dont have any relationship with my child's father and neither does my child (his choice, not mine) but because I am unable to ask does that mean that my child shouldn't get? As I said in my original post, not sure who I despise more, my ex or the government who allow him to get away with it. I dont care if a child was borne out of a one night stand or a long standing relationship (mine was marriage), the fact of the matter is, if you have a child then you are bound to be both morally and financially responsible for that child until they reach 18. Totally agree with you, some guys just want to dodge responsibilty - not all by any means - but with clever accounting you can't really blame any one else but him. Z" Excuse me not just men, CSA figures are showing a sharp rise in women being the parent without care. | |||
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"i Get JSL and i give my kid mums £70 as she is working and gets working tax money as well but i only get £240 pcm but i get my kid 2 days a week stay over, if he is not wanting to pay for it kid go to the csa,but ask him if he would like a private agreement between you two and come to agreement between you two, but remember don,t use the kid as a pawn " | |||
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"i Get JSL and i give my kid mums £70 as she is working and gets working tax money as well but i only get £240 pcm but i get my kid 2 days a week stay over, if he is not wanting to pay for it kid go to the csa,but ask him if he would like a private agreement between you two and come to agreement between you two, but remember don,t use the kid as a pawn " Thank you for your post but I am with the CSA, have been since my son was born. But because my ex husband is self employed and has a rather good accountant, the csa accept that he can only afford to pay £30.00 per month. Believe me, I have been through every appeal process, written to my MP etc, nobody gives a flying f*** because at the end of the day, he is a father who is paying child support and statiscally that looks real good on paper despite the measly amount he pays. According to my MP and the CSA, the onus is on me to prove that he is living beyond his means and as I do not have the financial means to employ the services of a private detective, I can never prove it can I? Well done to you for showing responsibility and good morals though! | |||
"In an ideal world both parents would sit down and work something out. However this world is far from ideal. If someone is on benefits or is a millionaire the amount is going to vary massively so I don't think you can work out an ideal amount. Things cost money but kids need your time more than money I think a lot of people have lost sight of that." My son receives neither from his father! | |||
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"In an ideal world both parents would sit down and work something out. However this world is far from ideal. If someone is on benefits or is a millionaire the amount is going to vary massively so I don't think you can work out an ideal amount. Things cost money but kids need your time more than money I think a lot of people have lost sight of that." Oh and as his mother, I give both time and money | |||
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"Twenty odd years ago when I became a single mother I didn't claim assistance from my ex either. He wandered off into the sunset and didn't see his kids for 21 years. Anyway, I remarried and during a legal process to get the kids names changed the courts got wind of his non-support and forced me to put in a CSA claim. My ex (when tracked down by a investigator) promptly claimed that none of the children were his, until threatened with the £4k cost of DNA testing, whereupon he admitted they were his. This after I had been dragged into court under oath to swear he had been present at the conception and birth of each!! Eventually he was ordered to pay x amount and almost immediately went onto unemployment benefit. Every six months for 15 years I got a letter from the CSA saying the amount I would receive would be.....£0 Not a single penny has he ever paid to his children - I worked! LOL Funnily enough he resurfaced a year or so ago and found that only the eldest would give him the time of day. Even he has now given him the flick as he has worked out what a waster he is!" i would fight all the way for my kids and a dad that runs away from his kids needs his head looked at but what you did about the names was not right. my mum tried it when i was a kid and i told her my name on my Birth crit was XXXX and i keep my name. at the end of the day he is still there dad. | |||
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"Oh and as his mother, I give both time and money" And your child will remember that My kids never got anything off their dad, my 18 and 20 year old have nothing to do with their dad at all, thats nothing to do with me they are old enough to go where they like and see who they like, if he keeps going the same way my 11 year old will end up the same I have a very good relationship with my kids and now they are adults they appreciate how hard it has been for me bringing up 3 kids alone, as will yours and thats worth more than anything
believe me i do know how you feel but i just dont think its worth getting stressed over, id sooner just say sod him and get on with my life without any input from him, lifes much calmer when your not fighting anyone/anything | |||
"I know this is a hot topic - I totally appreciate that many employed men get stung by the csa but as a single mother whose ex is self employed and has a very adept accountant, I receive the princely sum of £30 per month. This doesn't even cover the costs of school meals for the month, let alone anything else, clothing etc. I know what I think is a reasonable and fair amount of monthly child support is, what do you think? Before I get slammed, I go to work!" Well I pay £70 a wk and I buy all shoes and coats and I pay for one holiday a year is that reasonable oh and I go halves on Xmas | |||
"In an ideal world both parents would sit down and work something out. However this world is far from ideal. If someone is on benefits or is a millionaire the amount is going to vary massively so I don't think you can work out an ideal amount. Things cost money but kids need your time more than money I think a lot of people have lost sight of that. My son receives neither from his father!" well that;s is lost, i give my sone all my free time and take him any time i can and if it was up to me i would have him full time | |||
"Twenty odd years ago when I became a single mother I didn't claim assistance from my ex either. He wandered off into the sunset and didn't see his kids for 21 years. Anyway, I remarried and during a legal process to get the kids names changed the courts got wind of his non-support and forced me to put in a CSA claim. My ex (when tracked down by a investigator) promptly claimed that none of the children were his, until threatened with the £4k cost of DNA testing, whereupon he admitted they were his. This after I had been dragged into court under oath to swear he had been present at the conception and birth of each!! Eventually he was ordered to pay x amount and almost immediately went onto unemployment benefit. Every six months for 15 years I got a letter from the CSA saying the amount I would receive would be.....£0 Not a single penny has he ever paid to his children - I worked! LOL Funnily enough he resurfaced a year or so ago and found that only the eldest would give him the time of day. Even he has now given him the flick as he has worked out what a waster he is! i would fight all the way for my kids and a dad that runs away from his kids needs his head looked at but what you did about the names was not right. my mum tried it when i was a kid and i told her my name on my Birth crit was XXXX and i keep my name. at the end of the day he is still there dad. " Why is changing their name wrong? My son has never met his father (father's choice) and when I got divorced and reverted to my maiden name, I wanted my son to share the same surname as me, it made sense and would stop any confusion for him. If my son had a relationship with his father it would have been completely different, as my my surname is the same as my fathers although him and my mother divorced when I was 9, however, I have always had a relationship with my father. | |||
"Twenty odd years ago when I became a single mother I didn't claim assistance from my ex either. He wandered off into the sunset and didn't see his kids for 21 years. Anyway, I remarried and during a legal process to get the kids names changed the courts got wind of his non-support and forced me to put in a CSA claim. My ex (when tracked down by a investigator) promptly claimed that none of the children were his, until threatened with the £4k cost of DNA testing, whereupon he admitted they were his. This after I had been dragged into court under oath to swear he had been present at the conception and birth of each!! Eventually he was ordered to pay x amount and almost immediately went onto unemployment benefit. Every six months for 15 years I got a letter from the CSA saying the amount I would receive would be.....£0 Not a single penny has he ever paid to his children - I worked! LOL Funnily enough he resurfaced a year or so ago and found that only the eldest would give him the time of day. Even he has now given him the flick as he has worked out what a waster he is! i would fight all the way for my kids and a dad that runs away from his kids needs his head looked at but what you did about the names was not right. my mum tried it when i was a kid and i told her my name on my Birth crit was XXXX and i keep my name. at the end of the day he is still there dad. " That's fine if you wanted to keep it. By the time we did it all the kids were old enough to decide for themselves what they wanted to do and they had been with their step-father for quite a few years. In those days it wasn't quite the done thing for a mother to have a different name to her children. They have never changed it back either - even though I've been divorced from their step-father for 14 years now. They had their fathers surname added as an additional Christian name and not one of them would ever admit to it even now! | |||
"I know this is a hot topic - I totally appreciate that many employed men get stung by the csa but as a single mother whose ex is self employed and has a very adept accountant, I receive the princely sum of £30 per month. This doesn't even cover the costs of school meals for the month, let alone anything else, clothing etc. I know what I think is a reasonable and fair amount of monthly child support is, what do you think? Before I get slammed, I go to work! Well I pay £70 a wk and I buy all shoes and coats and I pay for one holiday a year is that reasonable oh and I go halves on Xmas " Oh and I have them 50 wk end a year because she works | |||
"Oh and as his mother, I give both time and money And your child will remember that My kids never got anything off their dad, my 18 and 20 year old have nothing to do with their dad at all, thats nothing to do with me they are old enough to go where they like and see who they like, if he keeps going the same way my 11 year old will end up the same I have a very good relationship with my kids and now they are adults they appreciate how hard it has been for me bringing up 3 kids alone, as will yours and thats worth more than anything
believe me i do know how you feel but i just dont think its worth getting stressed over, id sooner just say sod him and get on with my life without any input from him, lifes much calmer when your not fighting anyone/anything"Yes, you are probably right but as of today, I have £2.38 in my bank account until I get paid on Thursday - I imagine my ex has not had to worry about that this weekend! | |||
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"Twenty odd years ago when I became a single mother I didn't claim assistance from my ex either. He wandered off into the sunset and didn't see his kids for 21 years. Anyway, I remarried and during a legal process to get the kids names changed the courts got wind of his non-support and forced me to put in a CSA claim. My ex (when tracked down by a investigator) promptly claimed that none of the children were his, until threatened with the £4k cost of DNA testing, whereupon he admitted they were his. This after I had been dragged into court under oath to swear he had been present at the conception and birth of each!! Eventually he was ordered to pay x amount and almost immediately went onto unemployment benefit. Every six months for 15 years I got a letter from the CSA saying the amount I would receive would be.....£0 Not a single penny has he ever paid to his children - I worked! LOL Funnily enough he resurfaced a year or so ago and found that only the eldest would give him the time of day. Even he has now given him the flick as he has worked out what a waster he is! i would fight all the way for my kids and a dad that runs away from his kids needs his head looked at but what you did about the names was not right. my mum tried it when i was a kid and i told her my name on my Birth crit was XXXX and i keep my name. at the end of the day he is still there dad. " pity some men, and yes in some cases women, dont remember that, if a guy walks away from his child and never pays for them or make a effort to see them do they really have the rights to still be called dad? so me anyone can provide sperm to make a child, dad is the ones whos there for you, looks after you, provides for you, helps you learn to ride a bike, picks you up when you fall over if you do none of that why should teh child still carry your name? | |||
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"Oh and as his mother, I give both time and money And your child will remember that My kids never got anything off their dad, my 18 and 20 year old have nothing to do with their dad at all, thats nothing to do with me they are old enough to go where they like and see who they like, if he keeps going the same way my 11 year old will end up the same I have a very good relationship with my kids and now they are adults they appreciate how hard it has been for me bringing up 3 kids alone, as will yours and thats worth more than anything
believe me i do know how you feel but i just dont think its worth getting stressed over, id sooner just say sod him and get on with my life without any input from him, lifes much calmer when your not fighting anyone/anything
Yes, you are probably right but as of today, I have £2.38 in my bank account until I get paid on Thursday - I imagine my ex has not had to worry about that this weekend!"You have more than money - you have the love of your child and you always will that is priceless, you sound like a great parent - keep your chin up, Z | |||
"Oh and as his mother, I give both time and money And your child will remember that My kids never got anything off their dad, my 18 and 20 year old have nothing to do with their dad at all, thats nothing to do with me they are old enough to go where they like and see who they like, if he keeps going the same way my 11 year old will end up the same I have a very good relationship with my kids and now they are adults they appreciate how hard it has been for me bringing up 3 kids alone, as will yours and thats worth more than anything
believe me i do know how you feel but i just dont think its worth getting stressed over, id sooner just say sod him and get on with my life without any input from him, lifes much calmer when your not fighting anyone/anything
Yes, you are probably right but as of today, I have £2.38 in my bank account until I get paid on Thursday - I imagine my ex has not had to worry about that this weekend!"well i am in the same boat as you untill tues i get £120 and i need to give her £70 of it so the gives me £50 to live off she took the wean into town the day to go shopping and she asked me to give the wean money all i had was £4 and i give it to him, but hay ho hes my son | |||
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"Oh and as his mother, I give both time and money And your child will remember that My kids never got anything off their dad, my 18 and 20 year old have nothing to do with their dad at all, thats nothing to do with me they are old enough to go where they like and see who they like, if he keeps going the same way my 11 year old will end up the same I have a very good relationship with my kids and now they are adults they appreciate how hard it has been for me bringing up 3 kids alone, as will yours and thats worth more than anything
believe me i do know how you feel but i just dont think its worth getting stressed over, id sooner just say sod him and get on with my life without any input from him, lifes much calmer when your not fighting anyone/anything
Yes, you are probably right but as of today, I have £2.38 in my bank account until I get paid on Thursday - I imagine my ex has not had to worry about that this weekend!
You have more than money - you have the love of your child and you always will that is priceless, you sound like a great parent - keep your chin up, Z" | |||
"I guess it depends how much you earn. Don't the CSA work on both sides disposable income? " Yes along with how much the absent parent sees their child; the more they see them, the less they pay | |||
"I guess it depends how much you earn. Don't the CSA work on both sides disposable income? Yes along with how much the absent parent sees their child; the more they see them, the less they pay" thats not rite you cant say that about all the dads i love my kid and would walk the 40 miles to see him. and i pay what i can with what i get | |||
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"Wow to all the posts on this subject, some I agree with and some I dont. I brought up all my three children myself. I worked hard for many hours a week and enjoyed lots of holidays/ good times with them. I never asked(or got) a penny from their Dad and do you kow what? It made not one iota of a differnece! I have three well balanced kids whom two have fantastic careers and the third is at college gaining qualifications for the future. We have never been short of a bob or two and I have always made sure my kids go on at least 2 foreign holidays a year. I have and never would rely on my ex but at the same time i have NEVER slagged him off on any way, shape or form to my off spring. There is no need! As my children grow older and get more wise they will see him for what he is and that is much better than me trying to force my opionions on them. Everything works out in the end! "well done and keep up the good work with the kids | |||
"Wow to all the posts on this subject, some I agree with and some I dont. I brought up all my three children myself. I worked hard for many hours a week and enjoyed lots of holidays/ good times with them. I never asked(or got) a penny from their Dad and do you kow what? It made not one iota of a differnece! I have three well balanced kids whom two have fantastic careers and the third is at college gaining qualifications for the future. We have never been short of a bob or two and I have always made sure my kids go on at least 2 foreign holidays a year. I have and never would rely on my ex but at the same time i have NEVER slagged him off on any way, shape or form to my off spring. There is no need! As my children grow older and get more wise they will see him for what he is and that is much better than me trying to force my opionions on them. Everything works out in the end! well done and keep up the good work with the kids " | |||
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"I know this is a hot topic - I totally appreciate that many employed men get stung by the csa but as a single mother whose ex is self employed and has a very adept accountant, I receive the princely sum of £30 per month. This doesn't even cover the costs of school meals for the month, let alone anything else, clothing etc. I know what I think is a reasonable and fair amount of monthly child support is, what do you think? Before I get slammed, I go to work!" Surely he must know he should be contributing more than £30 per month! Thats £7.50 per week! £30 a week would be more acceptable, if hes working. | |||
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"And do you get 15 or 20% of the kids time too? " The amount paid doesn't equate to the time you have them. The unemployed wouldn't see their children at all on that basis. | |||
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"I paid approximately £650 a month for 7 years until both my daughters were 19 and it was the one thing I never objected to. I objected to the fact that she got the house and I got all the debts but it never got me anywhere lol But they were my daughters and it was right for me to pay for them. That's my _iew anyway " Was your earning potential greater than your ex-wife's? If you'd split the house and the debt equally you may well have found that she couldn't afford to house herself to a standard that she had become used to, and you would have then had to make up the shortfall which could have equated to more than the £650/month you were paying plus the amount you paid to service the debt. You could have gone for what's called a charge against the property, which is held as a percentage and realised when she sells the house or your youngest child turns 19. The benefit of that is that the house is likely to increase in value over that time and your 'cut' will be worth more. | |||
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"You get me wrong, i am saying its not all about Mum, Dad should get equal amounts of time with their children, kids are not just for mums but for Dads too." I do get where you're coming from and I can see how some would _iew it as unfair to hand over a portion of a wage packet but not see the kids for as much as you'd prefer. Children need stability, and nothing is more unsettling for a child than it's parents splitting up. They need continuity and every other weekend is much better for a child than sporadic undefined access times. I used to have my daughter every other weekend plus every Wednesday night and take her to school on Thursday morning, although that mid week access had to stop when I moved up north. She's now 15 and as things going on in her life that meant the every other weekend access had to be changed and now we have quality time together in the school breaks. I was lucky in the respect that my ex/w valued the time she had alone when our daughter was with me so she never blocked me seeing her. | |||
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"If you split up, cant you just take the proceeds out of the house by selling it, splitting it in half then getting on with life? Also would like to add, if you have kids...divorce has to be the very last option. So many celebs take the piss and others follow suit! Remember the vows, for better for worse ..." The way it works is that a woman has a right to expect to continue living in the manner to which she has become accustomed. If the sale of a house doesn't provide enough money for two houses to be bought of a reasonable standard then she has the right to purchase a house she does find acceptable and you make up the shortfall in the mortgage. Personally, I took the _iew that it was better for my daughter to remain in the house she knew, in the area she was familiar with and the school she was attending at the time. Signing over the house allowed that to happen. Here's a twist though: I now have a second family up here and if Siren and I split she would get the house (it's in her name anyway as she'd bought it before I met her) but if we moved and got a new mortgage with both our names on it, it would amount to nothing if we split up. She would get the house because she'd have the kids. Where is my security? It is in remaining with my family. | |||
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"I pay £70pw BUT i also buy clothes shoes trainers coats etc i get my boys on saturday 1300 n drop them off @ 1600 sunday but the times are up for change on both parts only takes a call or txt. We had a v bitter breakup BUT never had it out infront of my boys.. i never mention her infront if them n she said she wouldnt either.... but going back to the cash situation i pay what we agree out of the CSA.. But i dont understand Ladies saying they wont ask their Ex for cash, its your right n the kids deserve the money no matter how much the dad sees the kid obviously when it comes to xmas n bdays or holidays the cash is welcome" I agree with e comment about the money, the ladies who don't think it's worth asking him for money are wrong, we do all sorts for our kids and this is just one thing we should be doing, having dealt with the CSA for 13 years now, the money is for the upkeep of the kids which is food, roof over heads, , the amounts I have received via CSa have ranged from £0 per week for 2 children, up to £175 per week, the CSA only take into account the parent without cares income when assessing how much should be paying, the parent with care's income is not taken into account at all these days. I don't like my ex much, and did not think he should get away with not paying anything, everything he pays has been hard work , but it's what you do to give your children the best you can, I put all of what I get from CSA into bank accounts for children for when they are older and need first car, or want to go Uni. This is obviously a hot topic and as everyones situation is personal to them as are there _iews , but end of the day its not about us the parents, it's about whats best for the children. The financial side should be totally seperate from the issue of how much time each parent gets with the parent. | |||
"Do you ever feel your monies are not spent on your kids but go to help a life style? " You sound like my ex, he never wanted to pay as he said he was supporting my lifestyle, which was never going out, do not smoke or drink, but I did take kids on days out to zoos, theme parks etc and on a holiday once ayear, so what lifestyle do these guys think us single parents have lol | |||
"Do you ever feel your monies are not spent on your kids but go to help a life style? " I'd drive myself insane if I starting thinking like that. I pay her and she adds that to her own pot and decides how to spend it. She knows that if she doesn't spend her money wisely she can't come back to me for more, but considering it was her obsession with money that drove us apart I can't imagine her ever running out of cash. The thing is, if you look at the wider picture, as a parent you never stop paying anyway. I know that in 4 years time, when my daughter turns 19, I won't have to pay my ex a penny anymore, but by then my daughter will be in Uni and will need financial support from both of us. The £150/month I give my ex will go straight to my daughter while she's at Uni, and I suspect the amount will be more than £150 a month anyway. Then there will be her first car, the insurance for it, repairs, etc etc .. Can't wait.  | |||
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"horny bbw do you work? I only say cos i never saw any of my dads money... and my Mum re married so surely he should pay for the kids he took on?? It wasnt my fault my parents divorced." I have been in both situations, working and not working, and as for your mum remarrying I would have thought he took the whole family on, not just your mum, and it's never the kids fault when parents split. | |||
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"horny bbw do you work? I only say cos i never saw any of my dads money... and my Mum re married so surely he should pay for the kids he took on?? It wasnt my fault my parents divorced." It gets very messy if a man is expected to pay for another man's children because he marries their mother. What if they get divorced? Should he then have to pay for another man's kids whilst their natural father pays nothing? | |||
"I paid approximately £650 a month for 7 years until both my daughters were 19 and it was the one thing I never objected to. I objected to the fact that she got the house and I got all the debts but it never got me anywhere lol But they were my daughters and it was right for me to pay for them. That's my _iew anyway " Blimey that is a phenomenal amount of money, how did you manage to survive? Something that does concern me when the CSA demand huge amounts from the father taking no consideration for whether he can afford it or not | |||
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"I guess it depends how much you earn. Don't the CSA work on both sides disposable income? Yes along with how much the absent parent sees their child; the more they see them, the less they pay thats not rite you cant say that about all the dads i love my kid and would walk the 40 miles to see him. and i pay what i can with what i get " Not sure why you have said what you have said. Information my son received from the CSA said that the more he saw his daughter, the less he has to pay the mother which pleases him immensely when the selfish bitch goes off into town clubbing and dumps the child on anyone she can find to babysit yet won't allow her to stay at my house (where my son lives) | |||
"horny bbw do you work? I only say cos i never saw any of my dads money... and my Mum re married so surely he should pay for the kids he took on?? It wasnt my fault my parents divorced. It gets very messy if a man is expected to pay for another man's children because he marries their mother. What if they get divorced? Should he then have to pay for another man's kids whilst their natural father pays nothing?" Thats another can of worms opened lol Even if the parent with care remarries, the parent without care should be contributing towards costs of the children, and if the new marriage ends, then I woudl say the real parent should continue to pay for the kids, not the step parent. | |||
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"I guess it depends how much you earn. Don't the CSA work on both sides disposable income? Yes along with how much the absent parent sees their child; the more they see them, the less they pay thats not rite you cant say that about all the dads i love my kid and would walk the 40 miles to see him. and i pay what i can with what i get Not sure why you have said what you have said. Information my son received from the CSA said that the more he saw his daughter, the less he has to pay the mother which pleases him immensely when the selfish bitch goes off into town clubbing and dumps the child on anyone she can find to babysit yet won't allow her to stay at my house (where my son lives) "Thats true, the CSA take into account how many regular over night stays the parent without care has the child/children, and then this is taken into account when they assess. | |||
"yes bbw you are right a long time ago, but not sure that feelings change! expectations of partners may though in the years that have gone by, for instance marriage isnt so popular even when having kids. Then women want to look after the kids but want the man to pay? I from my experience feel that its not all about Mum,its about the kids and the kids seeing Mum and Dad in the same amount of time... the days of women staying at home and men working and not seeing their children i hope has finished when it happened to me in the 70s, " I spilt from my ex when my kids were about 6 months and 22months, I was working full time, and to begin with was a struggle, but I pushed for the dad to have them every other weekend, firstly as liek you say kids have 2 parents an should see them both, even if i hated their dad at the time, and 2ndly, for a selfish reason is sometimes I needed a break, working , kids, working, kids, was my life for a long time, after a short while the dad kept letting them down, and in t he end I stopped him seeing them for a while , till he could commit to regular contact, to be honest, everything to do with my kids ex has been hard work, getting him to see them regularly and paying towards them, but now kids get wiser much earlier, and can see what happens and now I let my kids choose when to see him, plus not easy telling teenagers these days what to do lol | |||
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"...I still pushed for him to see his kids when younger. Cos I knew it was him and me who had a problem, not the kids," It wasn't you and him who had the problem though was it, it was him with his short fuse, as demonstrated subsequently with his other partners. I find myself questioning why you'd let their father have contact with them when you felt his menace was serious enough to leave him? (I'm not criticising you though, merely curious) | |||
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"...I still pushed for him to see his kids when younger. Cos I knew it was him and me who had a problem, not the kids, It wasn't you and him who had the problem though was it, it was him with his short fuse, as demonstrated subsequently with his other partners. I find myself questioning why you'd let their father have contact with them when you felt his menace was serious enough to leave him? (I'm not criticising you though, merely curious)" I left him cos he was violent to me an cheated on me, personally thats more than enough reason to leave anybody, and he went to live with his dad and so knew my kids were safe | |||
"...I still pushed for him to see his kids when younger. Cos I knew it was him and me who had a problem, not the kids, It wasn't you and him who had the problem though was it, it was him with his short fuse, as demonstrated subsequently with his other partners. I find myself questioning why you'd let their father have contact with them when you felt his menace was serious enough to leave him? (I'm not criticising you though, merely curious) I left him cos he was violent to me an cheated on me, personally thats more than enough reason to leave anybody, and he went to live with his dad and so knew my kids were safe "
Was he violent to kids tho. Some guys can be shit husbands but great dads. Which if the case I feel they should be in their lives. So long as no threat to them x | |||
"Very negative situations here. Can we ask the question again based on. My ex is a great father who is in my child's life and is happy to have financial responsibility. Gee wizz. My ex pays me £200 a month and spoils her rotten when he sees her his 2 days a week. Works for us. And he is a great dad who can hold his head high x" | |||
"Were you with him a long time? did you know him well? was he suddenly a bad man? " worked with him for couple of years before getting with him, so did not know he had this other side or would never got with him, but is all good now I believe in karma and what goes around comes around around my kids hv never gone without, last year alone went to Paris Florida Canada and new York, they hv swam with sharks dolphins flown in helicopters tiger moth plane hot air ballons, I hv struggled to give them everything I can and I have not had a penny in ten months from him | |||
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"I've been apart from my sons father nearly 8 years and we had a personal arrangement outside of the CSA when we 1st split and both agreed to him having access to our son. 6 years after the split, we share him, so we have the equal amount of time with him and this arangement suits us both, so I'm very lucky and so is our son. Money plays no part now, his dad spends what he wants on his son and so do I. Its so much less stressful. " That's how it should be. | |||
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"I paid approximately £650 a month for 7 years until both my daughters were 19 and it was the one thing I never objected to. I objected to the fact that she got the house and I got all the debts but it never got me anywhere lol But they were my daughters and it was right for me to pay for them. That's my _iew anyway Blimey that is a phenomenal amount of money, how did you manage to survive? Something that does concern me when the CSA demand huge amounts from the father taking no consideration for whether he can afford it or not" I managed to survive by not having any sort of life outside of work so that in 4 years I was able to pay the debts off at which point things got better, but it was a pretty tough period of my life. | |||
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"CSA dont make me laugh , its just a tax on single parents , dont get me wrong I totally agree that parents should be responsible for there children upkeep but this isnt the story with the CSA . It destroyed peoples lives and ruined amicable relationships between ex/parteners and in the extreme cases caused people to take there own lives " The CSA doesn't hand over to the mother the same amount it takes from the father. Some of it is held back to pay for the fathers they can't track down. I know this to be so as a friend of mine was giving his ex £200/month by personal arrangement, but when she started claiming additional benefits the CSA became involved and they took the £200 from my friend but only gave her £100 of it. The CSA is nothing more than legalised mugging and even if couples sorted out their differences themselves it doesn't shake off the CSA if the parent with care applies for benefits. | |||
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"At least £120 per week lol it dont cost that much to keep a kid Well this week £15 school meals £35 school shoes £10 after school club £15 school jumper £10 out with friends £80 fuel for car back and forth Elec, gas quarter £10 per week Food quarter £30 per week List goes on and on" Do you buy school uniform each week??? Plus Uniforms and things like that are a cost shared not footed by just one. And I'm sure the gas and electric doesn't cost £10 a week just for one child
So I'd agree with nymph. It doesn't cost £120 a week to keep a child. | |||
"I guess it depends how much you earn. Don't the CSA work on both sides disposable income? Yes along with how much the absent parent sees their child; the more they see them, the less they pay thats not rite you cant say that about all the dads i love my kid and would walk the 40 miles to see him. and i pay what i can with what i get Not sure why you have said what you have said. Information my son received from the CSA said that the more he saw his daughter, the less he has to pay the mother which pleases him immensely when the selfish bitch goes off into town clubbing and dumps the child on anyone she can find to babysit yet won't allow her to stay at my house (where my son lives) "You are right. If the parent sees their children over a set amount then he doesn't have to pay as much. The reasoning is simple. Because if the parent is seeing them often then he is paying for their upbringing too as they are at his or her house. | |||
"At least £120 per week lol it dont cost that much to keep a kid Well this week £15 school meals £35 school shoes £10 after school club £15 school jumper £10 out with friends £80 fuel for car back and forth Elec, gas quarter £10 per week Food quarter £30 per week List goes on and on" So do you buy shoes and jumpers every week? Cos that's 50 quid you just added, 200 per month??? Take that off your 500 and left with 300 which is what CSA take roughly but even then with their cut the mum gets about 225 so we dont use them and she gets more and I pay less as we meet in middle. Also asda do great shoes for a tenner and jumpers for a 5, maybe you need to be a little more careful with your money | |||
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" Here's a twist though: I now have a second family up here and if Siren and I split she would get the house (it's in her name anyway as she'd bought it before I met her) but if we moved and got a new mortgage with both our names on it, it would amount to nothing if we split up. She would get the house because she'd have the kids. Where is my security? It is in remaining with my family." And there is exactly the answer to why some married people play alone........... | |||
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"If your working do you need his help? Did he leave you the house? lots to be taken into consideration. How often do you let him have the kid? Does he see him or her as often as you? If not why not, their both your kids fair is fair!" Help? Why do you class it as help? It is his obligation to his child! No, I did not get the house! No he doesn't see his child because he rold me in no uncertain terms that he didnt want to be a told and then went on to deny he was his father to the csa and during the divorce. I live in a housing association house and work 30 hours per week. So when you talk about fairness, I couldn't agree more!!!!!! | |||
"Before you ask how much money you should GET you ought to ask how much child you GIVE. Many men rarely get to see their children and should not have to pay until the mother starts being more reasonable regarding access" And before you make statements like that, maybe you should ask me first - my son has never met his father because his father decided he had made a mistake and didn't want to be a dad! I didnt tell him he could never see his child! And even if, after 7 years of never sending a birthday or Christmas card to his son, if he were to suddenly make contact and want to see his child then I would let him because its my child I would put first! I've also never slagged him off to my son. So before you make accusations, maybe you should find out the facts first! Not all women use their kids as pawns or easy ways to get money from the exes, just as not all men are useless fathers. I just want what us best for my child and what is fair and reasonable financially! | |||
"I know this is a hot topic - I totally appreciate that many employed men get stung by the csa but as a single mother whose ex is self employed and has a very adept accountant, I receive the princely sum of £30 per month. This doesn't even cover the costs of school meals for the month, let alone anything else, clothing etc. I know what I think is a reasonable and fair amount of monthly child support is, what do you think? Before I get slammed, I go to work!" I haven't got any kids but I'd say 50 % of what it costs to raise your kids would be a fair amount...? That way it's fair and proportionate | |||
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"After reading this thread I thank god me and my ex have stayed friends, she lets me have my kid every day I'm not at work, both work towards bringing her up together and also help each other out when need be cos two happy parents = one very happy child which we are blessed to have "you are clearly decent people with good morals and I take my hat off to you both x My son is happy too though, I make sure of that. | |||
"I know this is a hot topic - I totally appreciate that many employed men get stung by the csa but as a single mother whose ex is self employed and has a very adept accountant, I receive the princely sum of £30 per month. This doesn't even cover the costs of school meals for the month, let alone anything else, clothing etc. I know what I think is a reasonable and fair amount of monthly child support is, what do you think? Before I get slammed, I go to work! I haven't got any kids but I'd say 50 % of what it costs to raise your kids would be a fair amount...? That way it's fair and proportionate "exactly! | |||
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