FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How long between lovers?
How long between lovers?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How long do you leave it before seeing someone knowing you'll be having sex with the when you've just had sex with someone else?
Hours? Days? Weeks?
Can you have sex with more than one person in a day in terms of one to one encounters outside of a club?
And do you think it's strange that some people can have threesomes or more but not be able to sleep with multiple people in a day or in the same week?
And how do you feel from the other side ? If you knew someone you were about to have sex with had recently had sex with someone else, how recent would it need to be to bug you?
Disclaimer....I already know my answers to these questions. This isn't about me. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I prefer to have a day before I meet someone where I’m not doing anything or even texting anyone else. It doesn’t always work out that way, but if I was asked to and I have been then I’m happy to do that. |
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I have on two consecutive days on quite a lot of occasions.
I felt a bit guilty too, but I know I didn’t need to. Everyone involved was happy. I think there’s just a bit of instinct that maybe it’s not respectful or something … |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"How long do you leave it before seeing someone knowing you'll be having sex with the when you've just had sex with someone else? "
A few days. It depends. Sometimes I'm still really horny after - the joy of being a woman who can have multiple orgasms whilst men can have max of six (in recent experiences) and be sated. It's a good job I have a fiancé or I'll be a terror.
"Can you have sex with more than one person in a day in terms of one to one encounters outside of a club? "
I have done before. The man I was seeing at the time was really not as cool with it as he said. I'm past that stage though. Wouldn't do it now.
"And do you think it's strange that some people can have threesomes or more but not be able to sleep with multiple people in a day or in the same week? "
No. It's a different dynamic. People are different aren't they? In my mind I'd rather give someone my full energy and not be spent or not focusing my energy on that person beforehand. I find anticipation is really important for me to be in the mood. Like the flirting in the run up.
"And how do you feel from the other side ? If you knew someone you were about to have sex with had recently had sex with someone else, how recent would it need to be to bug you? "
It's not so much as time frame, it's more about how it's approached. If someone can give me the energy, make me feel desired, I'm fine with a couple of days before. I don't want to feel like a fluffer or like they've already used up their energy elsewhere. Women, it's different. Men, I can usually tell. I had one experience when I was dating someone where it was so obvious they'd had sex the night before because they just weren't... you know very into it. I'm putting it delicately here. I like feeling really desired and wanted. Not a half arsed fuck because while they do want to see me, they've already emptied their load down another woman's throat.
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I'd rather not know about when they last or when they were next having a shag "
This is my take on it to. Also, its none of my business. Honestly though if I found out they had/were seeing someone the same day I'd be miffed. |
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Personally I enjoy anticipation so I usually like there to be some degree of build up when it's a new person. Though it's common that I'll have sex with my partner in the days after going to a club because of the post event horn  . Personally I'm not bothered how long it's been since someone had sex with someone else as long as they've washed in between. |
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I don't think it would cross my mind to even think about whether my lover had tecently had sex, or will be soon.
For myself, I guess I'd wait till the next day, but not for any particularly significant reason. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"How long do you leave it before seeing someone knowing you'll be having sex with the when you've just had sex with someone else?
Hours? Days? Weeks?
Can you have sex with more than one person in a day in terms of one to one encounters outside of a club?
And do you think it's strange that some people can have threesomes or more but not be able to sleep with multiple people in a day or in the same week?
And how do you feel from the other side ? If you knew someone you were about to have sex with had recently had sex with someone else, how recent would it need to be to bug you?
Disclaimer....I already know my answers to these questions. This isn't about me."
Looking back to my past incarnation as a single pringle it varied.
I often had meets planned away from home where I'd have my usual coffee pit stop down the M5 with Fox during the day which occasionally involved a little more than caffeine, but in general I rarely saw two people same day. Unless they were a couple of course. 
I used to take advantage of travel with work so could easily arrange a couple of meets a week and make the most of the company card and hotel bookings.
Now it will be fundamentally different. Being self employed my work pattern varies and I need to plan in advance much more than before and I'm also not looking to go back to being the 'forum whore' of old. Been there. Was fun. Things are different now.
I'd be happy with a couple of meets a week (what guy wouldn’t ) but I could easily go long spells without sex. Was different before and barely a day went past without some kind of activity, but that's part of the territory for (good) married life.
And as for would it bother me if someone had just had sex that day already, the day before or a whole month ago? Not in the slightest. Wouldn't affect my decision to meet them at all as long as they weren't nodding off due to exhaustion whilst my head was between their legs.
Moans of pleasure are a turn on. Snoring not so much. 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not a situation I've found myself in often but can think of an occasion I went for a club visit but knew I had a meet the week after so literally only went to the club to be social even though I had a couple of opportunities, I just didn't fancy doing anything more as I I think I would've felt bad. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Sometimes the timing is out of your hands. It just is what it is. So long as you’re fully in the moment and full of desire when you’re with each person, I don’t feel it’s an issue."
I think that's the main thing really. Well for me anyway. I don’t want to feel like I've been ticked off the roster. If a person can bring me that same level of desire, regardless of when they've met someone, I'm cool.
Actually no, that's a lie. If they had sex with someone I don't particularly care for, I'd say a week. Gives them time for a bleach scrub. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have done back to back meets before with like 20 or so minutes in between
The way I see it as I am single so can meet who and when ever I like
If it’s a same day type thing I always make them aware though and leave the choice in they hands if they would like to
Or would they rather wait till I am “fresh” so to speak
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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago
Lives in Preston, Eng |
I don't really want someone coming from one meet to me and I wouldn't want to do that either.
But if they had stayed with someone over night and had morning sex then I saw them in the evening that is fine with me. So long as the honesty and communication is there and we enjoy each other's company and bodies.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is there a rule on this? If so I've probably broken it a few times.
All I want is for whomever I'm with to get completely lost in the moments we share at the time.
Years ago, it would have felt like rejection to me if I was with them one day and they were with someone else the next. Really though, that's not my business. I'm single there's nothing stopping me doing the same (although in my head I would worry they might see it as disrespectful and I'd feel guilty)
They key thing for me is that, if it's someone I'm seeing regularly then I'm honest enough to say that I might need a bit of reassurance I'm still wanted sometimes.
Likewise I'd want to give them the same.
That might make me a bit needy but when it's more than a one off I'm all in and inevitably there's always feelings of some sort involved. They make it all the better in my view.
So I suppose it's all down to how you communicate and being honest with how you feel at the time.
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"Sometimes the timing is out of your hands. It just is what it is. So long as you’re fully in the moment and full of desire when you’re with each person, I don’t feel it’s an issue.
I think that's the main thing really. Well for me anyway. I don’t want to feel like I've been ticked off the roster. If a person can bring me that same level of desire, regardless of when they've met someone, I'm cool.
Actually no, that's a lie. If they had sex with someone I don't particularly care for, I'd say a week. Gives them time for a bleach scrub. "
Scrub the vile, Lacey_Red stench away  |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
I would have no issue with having sex with two people on the same day entirely independently, and it wouldn’t bother me if someone I was meeting had just come from being with someone else, I did meet up with someone a little while ago who had just come from having sex with someone else, I would have been happy to still do stuff together, but in the end I just gave her a massage in my hotel room. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Actually no, that's a lie. If they had sex with someone I don't particularly care for, I'd say a week. Gives them time for a bleach scrub.
Scrub the vile, Lacey_Red stench away "
Oh shush. I'd be more than happy to take a cock after it's been inside any of your orifices.
I think that's how and when I know I like a woman and respect her.
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I've never been in the situation of having multiple partners either as part of a threesome or as individual meets so it has always been many weeks if not months between.
I wouldn't be happy meeting for sex with someone who had already met someone else that day or even that week. It would be different if it was just for a social.
That's not a judgement on their choices.
It's that I spend a lot of time chatting before meeting and put a lot of effort into those chats.
I don't meet for sex just for the sake of it and am more comfortable meeting others with a similar mindset.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a poly person I try not to care but I have in the past felt weird about knowing someone I’m seeing for sex was sexing someone else a few hours before seeing me.
But it’s the game I guess. So you roll with it and do what you gotta do when it’s time for you to do it |
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"Actually no, that's a lie. If they had sex with someone I don't particularly care for, I'd say a week. Gives them time for a bleach scrub.
Scrub the vile, Lacey_Red stench away
Oh shush. I'd be more than happy to take a cock after it's been inside any of your orifices.
I think that's how and when I know I like a woman and respect her.
"
Aww Meli, I'm touched . Cock sisters! |
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By *ean counterMan
over a year ago
Market Harborough / Kettering |
When I was younger I'd happily have sex with multiple partners in one day but now I tend to look for quality over quantity (that's what all 50+ men say as the offers don't come so frequently ) |
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I don't do clubs, threesomes, groups, or any form of 'production line, conveyor belt' sex.
Reading a few of the responses on here I can see that the cogs and wheels of our hearts and sensual apparatuses work differently between us all. Mine is different too. It used to be weeks but it's mostly now a couple of months.
Because of the mental connection, synergy and the emotional investment that I've made with my partner, it often leaves me glowing and in a state of euphoria for some significant time following my meet, and therefore I don't possess any desire or yearning to jump into bed with someone else so soon afterwards.
How do I feel from the other side? It's not really an issue because my partner/s are often of the same mindset as me. Even so, I don't really mind and it's not my business because I have no claim on them whatsoever. Both parties tend to be somewhat discerning anyway. |
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"Its not logical is it to care, but sounds like most of us take it into consideration.
I think for me a day or two mostly to be at my/their physical best 
Why isn't it logical?"
Because sharing is caring, apparently. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Actually no, that's a lie. If they had sex with someone I don't particularly care for, I'd say a week. Gives them time for a bleach scrub.
Scrub the vile, Lacey_Red stench away
Oh shush. I'd be more than happy to take a cock after it's been inside any of your orifices.
I think that's how and when I know I like a woman and respect her.
"
Oral? Tick
Vaginal? Tick
Anal? Tick
Nasal.............. 
A |
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I like 'connection', cliche i know...but i want to get to know someone, build up the anticipation etc...i can't do that with random shags here and there, or one after another. So for me, a substantial gap/pause between men i want to have sex with. |
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"I don't do clubs, threesomes, groups, or any form of 'production line, conveyor belt' sex.
Reading a few of the responses on here I can see that the cogs and wheels of our hearts and sensual apparatuses work differently between us all. Mine is different too. It used to be weeks but it's mostly now a couple of months.
Because of the mental connection, synergy and the emotional investment that I've made with my partner, it often leaves me glowing and in a state of euphoria for some significant time following my meet, and therefore I don't possess any desire or yearning to jump into bed with someone else so soon afterwards.
How do I feel from the other side? It's not really an issue because my partner/s are often of the same mindset as me. Even so, I don't really mind and it's not my business because I have no claim on them whatsoever. Both parties tend to be somewhat discerning anyway."
The inference being that others on this thread that dont wait weeks are somehow less "discerning"  |
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I don't have rules. I play in clubs so it would be daft to impose rules on myself for elsewhere. No one else's business what I do. I give them the options of wearing condoms for oral, I tell them I'm a swinger , I forward my STI negative monthly texts. That's my only concern the other way around too.
I love watching people I fuck, fuck others too so really I'm very comfortable with sex at the same time so time in-between irrelevant. I shower at the club though.
I remember playing once , specifically a blow job and a girl asked to kiss me, I said yes but I've just been errrmm playing, she didn't care |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are we counting wanks over different people? If so maybe 3 in the same day.
No, I think she means the actual sex with actual other acrual people, actually  "
Ermmmmm 1 in 2 years then, is my final answer |
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"Are we counting wanks over different people? If so maybe 3 in the same day.
No, I think she means the actual sex with actual other acrual people, actually
Ermmmmm 1 in 2 years then, is my final answer"
Wanna make it 2  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are we counting wanks over different people? If so maybe 3 in the same day.
No, I think she means the actual sex with actual other acrual people, actually
Ermmmmm 1 in 2 years then, is my final answer
Wanna make it 2 "
I'll grab the lube |
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As a solo guy in Fab, you experience ‘feast or famine’ so you capitalise on your opportunities when they arise……
I recently enjoyed 4 days on the trot, split between a single lady and meeting a couple. I came twice each day. That’s what I classed as a ‘great week’  |
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"How long do you leave it before seeing someone knowing you'll be having sex with the when you've just had sex with someone else?
Hours? Days? Weeks?
Can you have sex with more than one person in a day in terms of one to one encounters outside of a club?
And do you think it's strange that some people can have threesomes or more but not be able to sleep with multiple people in a day or in the same week?
And how do you feel from the other side ? If you knew someone you were about to have sex with had recently had sex with someone else, how recent would it need to be to bug you?
Disclaimer....I already know my answers to these questions. This isn't about me."
A couple of years ago i messaged 2 couples. One got back right away inviting me over early evening. Uoin leaving, id had a message from 2nd couple inviting me. Luckily 2nd couple lived a mile from me, so home shower and back out. I also met a lady for some outdoor fun, knowing she had just been for a 3way, and was on her way home |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Sometimes the timing is out of your hands. It just is what it is. So long as you’re fully in the moment and full of desire when you’re with each person, I don’t feel it’s an issue.
I think that's the main thing really. Well for me anyway. I don’t want to feel like I've been ticked off the roster. If a person can bring me that same level of desire, regardless of when they've met someone, I'm cool.
Actually no, that's a lie. If they had sex with someone I don't particularly care for, I'd say a week. Gives them time for a bleach scrub. "
Haha….. some may take a couple months sandblasting and jet washing then |
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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago
Lives in Preston, Eng |
"I don't really want someone coming from one meet to me and I wouldn't want to do that either.
But if they had stayed with someone over night and had morning sex then I saw them in the evening that is fine with me. So long as the honesty and communication is there and we enjoy each other's company and bodies.
"
Reading other people's replies has made me realise that my dislike of someone coming from somewhere else to me on the same day and vice versa is entirely about the time management and not the prior or later sex.
I also like connection so if sleeping with someone I will have a connection already. I am absolutely fine if they and /or I have other connections at the same time.
A hurrah to those of you who can accurately predict how long it will take you to get to places. Even Google maps cannot predict that I will lose my car in a car park. |
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Crikey it depends on time restrictions really.
Sometimes it may be months between meets.
Occasionally a couple or three in a week and on very very rare occasions two in the same day.
But I tend to play with the same people and already have a rapport.
Sometimes I have no availability for a meet so it's nothing or everything. regardless a nice long bath and scrub fresh clothes and fresh as a daisy.
Can't really see an issue, people go to club's and play with multiple people in one evening.
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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
I have never been in that situation, but if I would have multiple partners I wouldnt have any rules, as it could even be 1 in the morning and another at the evening or 1 or 2 days between them  |
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