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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am sorry to join a long list of girls and couples that rant on this topic but !( takes a deep breath .... Last night a male friend and I were looking for a MMF so a few days ago put up an add for 2nd male after getting 50 messages 30 of witch say things like I wish I lived closer . Why do guys send this ! . I picked a good looking guy he had been on here a few months had a face pic that he sent me and had been verifed any way at the 4 when I got home there was message saying he had for got he was busy Mmmm yer ok .so with only a few hours to find an other I got talking to a guy who again had been verified and he said he would be here by 9 at 9.30 I looked on here to find he was on line so I asked why he hasn't turned up and he said he couldn't find his car keys . Ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrr I know not all single guys are like this but WHY WHY WHY !!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not sure that the first guy really did anything wrong he cancelled in good time.
Second guy, last minute meet,no previous contact with him, from what you say no phone verification. It's always going to be a high risk strategy. Which isn't to condone him in anyway. |
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I never had a problem finding an extra guy when me and my man were looking.
But.... to ensure all went well, we always emailed, spoke on phone and met socially first just to make sure they were not nervous or playing a game.
Everyone we met told us how daunting it was meeting a couple when they were alone. Maybe the guys you arranged were feeling a little unsure. Its better that they didnt just 'go for it' because it could of turned out a flop anyway.
Good luck for future arrangements. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never had a problem finding an extra guy when me and my man were looking.
But.... to ensure all went well, we always emailed, spoke on phone and met socially first just to make sure they were not nervous or playing a game.
Everyone we met told us how daunting it was meeting a couple when they were alone. Maybe the guys you arranged were feeling a little unsure. Its better that they didnt just 'go for it' because it could of turned out a flop anyway.
Good luck for future arrangements. x"
We always meet socially first and never do last minute meets. Not saying our way is best but I think trying to find a genuine guy last minute usually ends in disaster. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
again... the first guy, I don't think he did much wrong.... he gave you notice!
I am sure you have had to cancel at some point, I have.... things happen... I know couples have, child issues for example, car issues, mother nature ect ect ect...
the 2nd guy.... well if it was last minute and you hadn't spoken to him, then isn't that as much on your selection process as it is on him.... |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Right so some guy lets me down and it's my fult . Ok "
no... only the 2nd guy let you down.... If the 1st guy wanted to be an arse he would never have let you know in the first place....
there is a difference.....
they is a school of thought.... 1 is unfortunate, it has happened to us all....
2 is unlucky.......
after that... if it happens time after time... then that is a pattern...
and then it is a pattern only you can break... then you do have to look at the ways that you select your partners....
like others have said.... some talk to people on the phone, some have social meets to see if they can get one....
the later you leave it and the less contact you have, the most risks you are taking... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What more is there to say..one of the main reasons weDont do single guys..and before the single guys start sending abuse!!! lol...we can if anyone is interested, list the amount of single guys, with names!!!, that have let us down...and the excuse of cant find the car keys!!! Is totalally out of order..and if he was ON LINE why didnt he have the sence to e you on fab or fone or send e mail...manners dont cost much!!! especially in this electronic age..sorry single guys..but NOT for us any more...  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"What more is there to say..one of the main reasons weDont do single guys..and before the single guys start sending abuse!!! lol...we can if anyone is interested, list the amount of single guys, with names!!!, that have let us down...and the excuse of cant find the car keys!!! Is totalally out of order..and if he was ON LINE why didnt he have the sence to e you on fab or fone or send e mail...manners dont cost much!!! especially in this electronic age..sorry single guys..but NOT for us any more... "
but with the greatest of respect... i bet you could ask a lot of single guys that have been "let down" by couples....
I could claim to have been "let down" last night..... had a couple wanting to meet, wanted me to come down and was just about to give me an address.... I said after reading their profile again "are you sure you want to meet me, as I am on the larger (rugby brick shit) side"... never heard from them again..
I could claim to have had my time wasted.... I never left the house... its all water off a ducks back to me!!
you can let people get to you.... or you can say "well my safeguards work".... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What more is there to say..one of the main reasons weDont do single guys..and before the single guys start sending abuse!!! lol...we can if anyone is interested, list the amount of single guys, with names!!!, that have let us down...and the excuse of cant find the car keys!!! Is totalally out of order..and if he was ON LINE why didnt he have the sence to e you on fab or fone or send e mail...manners dont cost much!!! especially in this electronic age..sorry single guys..but NOT for us any more...
but with the greatest of respect... i bet you could ask a lot of single guys that have been "let down" by couples....
I could claim to have been "let down" last night..... had a couple wanting to meet, wanted me to come down and was just about to give me an address.... I said after reading their profile again "are you sure you want to meet me, as I am on the larger (rugby brick shit) side"... never heard from them again..
I could claim to have had my time wasted.... I never left the house... its all water off a ducks back to me!!
you can let people get to you.... or you can say "well my safeguards work"...."
Gotta love the generalisations!!
There are as many 'timewasting' males as females and couples. There are no guarantees that it will never happen to anyone - but the more common sense you apply the less likely it is to happen!
Never let need or the horn make you lower your guard or standards and you're less likely to come a cropper!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right so some guy lets me down and it's my fult . Ok
no... only the 2nd guy let you down.... If the 1st guy wanted to be an arse he would never have let you know in the first place....
there is a difference.....
they is a school of thought.... 1 is unfortunate, it has happened to us all....
2 is unlucky.......
after that... if it happens time after time... then that is a pattern...
and then it is a pattern only you can break... then you do have to look at the ways that you select your partners....
like others have said.... some talk to people on the phone, some have social meets to see if they can get one....
the later you leave it and the less contact you have, the most risks you are taking..."
What he said  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right so some guy lets me down and it's my fult . Ok "
Nobody has said that. But the first guy cancelled with plenty of notice so I think people are struggling to see the issue. And the second are you seriously saying that there is nothing you could have done differently? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the 1st guy hasnt wasted your time however the 2nd guy has there are no excuses for saying your going to turn up, still been online and not even sending a message to say he doesnt want to come or cant make it. |
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I always use the Goldfinger-James Bond saying: "once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action". Don't get to 3. Two is for the person with a better excuse or reason than 'lost my car key's'.  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I will give the same advice as I would to a couple or single guy, put more effort into your profile... you may not be 'let down' !!!
your profile sells you and if it comes across as you coulnd't care, they may not
all the best |
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