FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Have you told someone you love them today?
Have you told someone you love them today?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Want to? 
How often do you verbalise your love for the important people in your life? Kids, partners, friends, anyone else? Do you tell your friends every time you talk or see them?
Words of affirmation is a big love language for me. Is it for you? |
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Yeah my daughters and my friend.
It's not a word a I throw around cheaply, but I do love some people and we tell each other so.
Words matter to me, I am more tactile though. Touch Hugs and kisses and all that  |
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I haven't.
Not that I wouldn't, but I live a pretty solitary existence.
But also - I fear sometimes words are cheap. I've had several experiences where I've been sucked in by the pretty words, they love me and would do anything for me, but it isn't reflected in their actions. Over time I'm left feeling resentful and even confused, and distance provides clarity.
I prefer to love by doing not by saying. Partly as a consequence. |
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"I haven't.
Not that I wouldn't, but I live a pretty solitary existence.
But also - I fear sometimes words are cheap. I've had several experiences where I've been sucked in by the pretty words, they love me and would do anything for me, but it isn't reflected in their actions. Over time I'm left feeling resentful and even confused, and distance provides clarity.
I prefer to love by doing not by saying. Partly as a consequence."
Actions always speak louder than words. I’ve been close to people before who say all the right words and then behave in ways that are completely opposite. It taught me to disregard what a person says and watch how they act instead.
Having said that, words of affirmation are important to us as a family. So yes, I have told two people I love them today  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I haven't.
Not that I wouldn't, but I live a pretty solitary existence.
But also - I fear sometimes words are cheap. I've had several experiences where I've been sucked in by the pretty words, they love me and would do anything for me, but it isn't reflected in their actions. Over time I'm left feeling resentful and even confused, and distance provides clarity.
I prefer to love by doing not by saying. Partly as a consequence."
Words and actions are equally important to me. I love being shown that someone loves me. But being told is also lovely to hear for me. I tell my partners and my daughter like 500 times a day AT least.  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I love words of affirmation. Adore them. I think in part that's because of my life long love affair with language, the beauty and power within it.
I think though, I'm more like Swing with how I feel about it. To a certain extent. An unprompted compliment or someone saying how they feel about me without any cues or feeling they should will always mean a lot to me.
Yet being shown that? The little ways a person can show you how much they care about you without verbalising it. Like making quality time for you. Touch. They might mean a little bit more to me now.
I tell people I love them when I do. When it feels right. Organically. I'm quite a passionate person and yes, I told my fiancé today I loved him. Because I do. Deeply. |
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"I haven't.
Not that I wouldn't, but I live a pretty solitary existence.
But also - I fear sometimes words are cheap. I've had several experiences where I've been sucked in by the pretty words, they love me and would do anything for me, but it isn't reflected in their actions. Over time I'm left feeling resentful and even confused, and distance provides clarity.
I prefer to love by doing not by saying. Partly as a consequence.
Actions always speak louder than words. I’ve been close to people before who say all the right words and then behave in ways that are completely opposite. It taught me to disregard what a person says and watch how they act instead.
Having said that, words of affirmation are important to us as a family. So yes, I have told two people I love them today "
I have family who show love in word ways and family who show it in other ways.
One family member is rubbish at saying the words. But I hear them when they nag me or when a book token appears.
I'm a bit more like that. There are certain people in my life who can attest to love via nagging   |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Those words rarely leave me lips.
I say love you too to my grandchildren when they say love you as they hang up the phone.
I don't say it to babies as they don't understand what it means. We show it by cuddles and cheeks kisses.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nope not verbally. Acts of service would be a big one for me. If I can make your life easier or better by doing something or being there.
Cooking for someone to show I care is something I do."
Acts of service is an interesting one. I think lots of people like to receive love that way. I personally don’t. Quality time, words of affirmation then physical touch are my highest three. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep! My kids and husband.
I tell my family and friends I love them all the time. I think it’s really important to let the ones you love know how much they mean to you |
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"I haven't.
Not that I wouldn't, but I live a pretty solitary existence.
But also - I fear sometimes words are cheap. I've had several experiences where I've been sucked in by the pretty words, they love me and would do anything for me, but it isn't reflected in their actions. Over time I'm left feeling resentful and even confused, and distance provides clarity.
I prefer to love by doing not by saying. Partly as a consequence.
Words and actions are equally important to me. I love being shown that someone loves me. But being told is also lovely to hear for me. I tell my partners and my daughter like 500 times a day AT least. "
Oh absolutely to each their own. And without context I try to interpret it all positively.
But acts rate higher for me, I suppose. Words can be a reflex - ta, bless you, love you, no worries. The fact that I mentioned Problem X to my mum six months ago and she emails me almost weekly with ideas to solve Problem X - she's trying to make my life better because she wants me to be happy. That means so much more to me, and it's the way I try to love. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My youngest still says he loves me at the end of phone calls which is nice, and I always say it back to him.
I’ve not heard it said romantically for a long long time. I don’t think I need it anymore. Which is sad in itself really, but at the same time tells me how far I’ve come. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
This morning? Yes. Several times!
Loving someone is a gift and telling them is a beautiful thing. Hearing it back is glorious.
It’s still a fairly new thing for my girlfriend and me, it sets my soul on fire every single time |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"This morning? Yes. Several times!
Loving someone is a gift and telling them is a beautiful thing. Hearing it back is glorious.
It’s still a fairly new thing for my girlfriend and me, it sets my soul on fire every single time"
Oh Tea! This is adorable! You have a new girlfriend? Gosh. I think when those words burn so brightly - you're on to a winning thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I do...I think I show it in my actions... without saying it most of the time. ...and this is maybe a me problem but I feel it's a word that's thrown around too easily without substance. So If I say it...I mean it. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Nope not verbally. Acts of service would be a big one for me. If I can make your life easier or better by doing something or being there.
Cooking for someone to show I care is something I do.
Acts of service is an interesting one. I think lots of people like to receive love that way. I personally don’t. Quality time, words of affirmation then physical touch are my highest three. "
Receiving it is a different thing, but that's how I try to show it. I don't it's easy to show me I'm loved. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think it’s important to respond to what people’s needs are in partners. So my love languages are quality time and words of affirmation- not acts of service, I would like my partners to tell me that they love me.
With children I don’t think you can ever tell them you love them too much. And with friends I think it’s always good to reassure them in words AND actions. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it’s important to respond to what people’s needs are in partners. So my love languages are quality time and words of affirmation- not acts of service, I would like my partners to tell me that they love me. "
A partner that refuses to love you in the ways you need is not meeting your needs as a partner and maybe isn’t a good partner? |
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"I think it’s important to respond to what people’s needs are in partners. So my love languages are quality time and words of affirmation- not acts of service, I would like my partners to tell me that they love me.
With children I don’t think you can ever tell them you love them too much. And with friends I think it’s always good to reassure them in words AND actions. "
For sure. I try to be mindful of how people want to be and their intention, if I'm committed to them. And I try to be mindful of my effect on others. As with all relationship things, it's compromise.
I've got a couple of friends where we'll say "I want to be there for you by doing X, is that what you need?" And we go from there. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"I think it’s important to respond to what people’s needs are in partners. So my love languages are quality time and words of affirmation- not acts of service, I would like my partners to tell me that they love me.
A partner that refuses to love you in the ways you need is not meeting your needs as a partner and maybe isn’t a good partner?"
I wouldn't say they're not a good partner. More an incompatible one. Maybe you mean good as in good for you.
If they refuse to love you in the way you need/want, maybe they can't. Don't want to for whatever reason. I know quite clearly now what things are important to me. If someone doesn't naturally show those things or doesn't try to, I don't need to put energy into something that's not bringing me joy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it’s important to respond to what people’s needs are in partners. So my love languages are quality time and words of affirmation- not acts of service, I would like my partners to tell me that they love me.
A partner that refuses to love you in the ways you need is not meeting your needs as a partner and maybe isn’t a good partner?
I wouldn't say they're not a good partner. More an incompatible one. Maybe you mean good as in good for you.
If they refuse to love you in the way you need/want, maybe they can't. Don't want to for whatever reason. I know quite clearly now what things are important to me. If someone doesn't naturally show those things or doesn't try to, I don't need to put energy into something that's not bringing me joy. "
Yes yes. Good for you.** Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our loving routine is 3 kisses it symbolizes I love you. Or when texting it's 333. I always tell family and close friends I love them and in person give them big hugs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve only seen my kids for 10 minutes today and I’ve probably said it at least twice. It’s actually sickening how much I say it to them because I never want them to feel unloved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kids, yes.
The cheese and onion pasty I had this morning, oh yes.
Never to a man.
Until you’ve had wine.
No amount of wine makes me that nice."
Lies. I have witnessed it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly it’s just about finding out what yours/your partners/family and friends love languages are.
Me and my partner say we love each other everyday, but what really does it for me are acts of service and they mean more to me than any word. The way I show affection is gifts unfortunately  |
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Yeah I constantly tell the kids and the other half I do. I sporadically tell my mates when I speak to them or if I haven't spoken to them in a while I'll send a message stating so. Other family members though never it's not in our volcabulary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even when I'm mad or we've just had a row, I always tell them I love them. Heaven forbid something bad happened to me or them,I'd want that to be the last thing I said 
Em x"
Same here, and especially important when falling out with children or OH
xJess |
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By *lynJMan
over a year ago
Morden |
"I used to tell my partner multiple times a day. Now I don't have anyone to say it to.
 ... sorry to hear this my friend i reckon your partner is with you everyday watching over you,,"
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've told my sons, my dog and recently some friends.
Words of affirmation is a big thing for me too and I like to try to make sure that the important people in my life are always made to feel that way by me.
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Want to?
How often do you verbalise your love for the important people in your life? Kids, partners, friends, anyone else? Do you tell your friends every time you talk or see them?
Words of affirmation is a big love language for me. Is it for you? "
Yes.
I don't think I've said it more in the last 8 years than I have in the last month. And it's been said back.
Sadly it seems no longer in the same way.
Apologies for the downer.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Want to?
How often do you verbalise your love for the important people in your life? Kids, partners, friends, anyone else? Do you tell your friends every time you talk or see them?
Words of affirmation is a big love language for me. Is it for you?
Yes.
I don't think I've said it more in the last 8 years than I have in the last month. And it's been said back.
Sadly it seems no longer in the same way.
Apologies for the downer.
A"
my heart goes out to you. |
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I tell my kids when I talk to them (we live in different countries) my husband about 50 times a day. My parents all the time, my brother and his family probably every couple of days and my unbiolgical sister every time we text xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Want to?
How often do you verbalise your love for the important people in your life? Kids, partners, friends, anyone else? Do you tell your friends every time you talk or see them?
Words of affirmation is a big love language for me. Is it for you?
Yes.
I don't think I've said it more in the last 8 years than I have in the last month. And it's been said back.
Sadly it seems no longer in the same way.
Apologies for the downer.
A"
 sorry to hear this, it's a shit place to be in. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Want to?
How often do you verbalise your love for the important people in your life? Kids, partners, friends, anyone else? Do you tell your friends every time you talk or see them?
Words of affirmation is a big love language for me. Is it for you?
Yes.
I don't think I've said it more in the last 8 years than I have in the last month. And it's been said back.
Sadly it seems no longer in the same way.
Apologies for the downer.
A"
You don't need to apologise. That's really crap, sorry to read this x |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
I think there‘a a tendency to overuse words - I say I love you not because I think the person needs to hear it or it’s considered a comfort etc I say it because I feel love from the other person, to me love is a feeling not to be devalued by simply saying it daily as form of expression. I know my partner loves me from the way in which he holds me, looks at me, makes me feel - I feel it in my nephews laughter and see it there smiles and I sense it from my mothers support.
People who truly love you give there time to you and to me that is where love grows in the memories you make together x |
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