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Similes to describe people.

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By *abtastic Mr Fox OP Man over a year ago

A den in the Glen

What are the best similes you have heard or descriptions.

I'll start us off...

She had a face like a bag of smashed crabs.

He could eat an apple through a tennis racquet

She had a fanny like a wizard's sleeve.

Over to you...

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By *hinstrapMan over a year ago

Barnsley

Face like a welders work bench.

Fanny like an axe wound

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

Face like a melted wellie.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fanny like a punched lasagne

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thick as mince.

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By *he Silver FuxMan over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Face like a bag of spanners…

Ass like two boiled eggs in a hanky

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What are the best similes you have heard or descriptions.

I'll start us off...

She had a face like a bag of smashed crabs.

He could eat an apple through a tennis racquet

She had a fanny like a wizard's sleeve.

Over to you..."

He had compassion enough to fit on a rice grain.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Her pussy is like playing marbles up a back alley.

His face looks like its been hit by a spade.

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By *hinstrapMan over a year ago

Barnsley

"Fanny like a punched lasagne"

Oh dear lol

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

A chest like two badly-parked Volkswagens.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A pussy like a punched kebab.

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

Fanny like a bulldog with a mouth full of mayonnaise

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By *ndycoinsMan over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

She had a face like a dry stone wall.

She was built like a house side.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

He was like a c*nt only without the warmth or depth.

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By *jk1978Couple over a year ago

Cheshire

Ass like to grizzly’s in a tent

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan over a year ago

Sussex

BOBFOC. Body Of Baywatch, Face Of Ctimewatch.

"... face like battered cod"

"I've seen more meat on an anorexic whippet"

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Liverpool

Like a prawn. Better without the head

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You look like you were found in a pyramid

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He could eat a trout through a letterbox.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You could eat an apple through a tennis racket

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Face like a bulldog licking piss of a nettle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Got a face only a mother could love.

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By *luebellRacerCouple over a year ago

Shropshire

Teeth like an SAS fire group.

All spaced out and aggressive as fuck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Teeth like wheelie bins. One black, one green, one brown.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You brush your teeth with a Toffee Crisp

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By *aucasian GhandiMan over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

A smile like they've been through a neat grinder

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Teeth like wheelie bins. One black, one green, one brown."

And the rest missing after a big storm

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Face like a torn out fireplace.

A story as far fetched as shite from China.

As bright as a blackout.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You look like Jeremy Beadle (has to be the worst insult ever)

*apologies to anyone that looks like him*

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By *oodsman1000Man over a year ago

Hereford

Piss flaps like elephants ears

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By *uckmonkeyMan over a year ago

devon

I lovingly call someone at work a wasp chewer!!

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By *oodsman1000Man over a year ago

Hereford

Face like a smacked arse

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By *abtastic Mr Fox OP Man over a year ago

A den in the Glen

Hahaha great original and brilliant addition

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By *abtastic Mr Fox OP Man over a year ago

A den in the Glen

Face like fire damaged Lego

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By *abtastic Mr Fox OP Man over a year ago

A den in the Glen

Head like a spat out piece of chewing gum

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Last time I saw an arse like that Lester Piggott was hitting it with a whip

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By *ndycoinsMan over a year ago

Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton,

More mouth than a cows cunt.

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By *abtastic Mr Fox OP Man over a year ago

A den in the Glen

She dishes it out like a Bombay moneylender

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

Her face looks like it was on fire, and someone put it out with a shovel.

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By *educing_EmCouple over a year ago

Tipperary

Could eat an apple through a letterbox

Looks like he fell off the ugly tree

A face like a slapped arse

An orthodontists dream

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan over a year ago

Sussex

Boobs like John Wayne's saddle bags

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

"He was like a c*nt only without the warmth or depth.

Like this one

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By *abtastic Mr Fox OP Man over a year ago

A den in the Glen

"He was like a c*nt only without the warmth or depth.

Like this one"

Me too. Not heard it before either!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple over a year ago

Leeds

Face like a bulldog, chewing a wasp.

The mr

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By *abtastic Mr Fox OP Man over a year ago

A den in the Glen

We work with a guy called 'Mortgage' as he has a wonky eye.

One is fixed and the other variable.

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