FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Is finding older people attractive weird
Is finding older people attractive weird
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just saw a status that got me thinking. Is finding much older people genuinely attractive weird? Why is society still so judgemental on this? Why is age seen by many as an indicator of being less attractive/ desirable? What are the beauty standards imposed on older men and women? As in what do attractive older men and women look like stereotypically? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In answer to my last question. I wonder if attractive older people are people that look ‘young’.
What a shit world. We all get older. Why does it mean we get less desirable? |
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By *oydykeWoman
over a year ago
Southampton (they/them) |
I’d ride the living life out of Malcolm McDowell, Roger Daltrey, Bruce Springsteen, and several others
There’s just something about their old age that makes them so…so…pussy throbbing |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
On an actual serious note
Im not sure what my actual upper age limit is, the maximum cut off. Well I do., but there are always room for exceptional exceptions.
But there are certainly women fairly older than myself that are still extremely attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How old? I can’t imagine fancying a 75 yr old man although I've encountered older men with a wee glint in their eye who are attractive men."
What makes them attractive? In your opinion |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"On an actual serious note
Im not sure what my actual upper age limit is, the maximum cut off. Well I do., but there are always room for exceptional exceptions.
But there are certainly women fairly older than myself that are still extremely attractive. "
I agree. But are they attractive for different reasons to women younger than them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The thing the young ‘uns will actually realise themselves as they age is that the perception of age kind of changes as you get older.
It’s difficult to explain what I mean really, but when I was 18 someone my age looked “normal age” and who was 35 looked OLD. When I was 35 someone the same age (35) no longer looked old, they looked young. But someone 50 looked old. Now I’m 50 people of my age don’t look old. Weird, I can’t explain it very well.
So maybe those people that like older people and find them attractive can see NOW what I’ve only been able to see as I’ve aged. Or something.
 I’ve confused myself tbf, so I doubt if anyone else know the hell what I’m warbling about |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The thing the young ‘uns will actually realise themselves as they age is that the perception of age kind of changes as you get older.
It’s difficult to explain what I mean really, but when I was 18 someone my age looked “normal age” and who was 35 looked OLD. When I was 35 someone the same age (35) no longer looked old, they looked young. But someone 50 looked old. Now I’m 50 people of my age don’t look old. Weird, I can’t explain it very well.
So maybe those people that like older people and find them attractive can see NOW what I’ve only been able to see as I’ve aged. Or something.
I’ve confused myself tbf, so I doubt if anyone else know the hell what I’m warbling about "
No I get what you’re saying. It’s well put |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
Aaargh, there should be an edit button to deal with the typos before losing the whole thing 
I was saying that you seem quite preoccupied about older people attracting the younger, OP, as this is the third or fourth thread you post on the subject.
Do you have anything against it? Do you think it is wrong? I tend to spend time with men at least 10 years younger (or up to 26 years younger) than me and they have all told me that my age is the last thing on their minds … and I can’t help but feel self conscious many times because of questions like the ones on your original post.
But I know what I like and younger people like me back. Yay. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"How much older is much older?
Older than you!!
People think an age gap of like 20 years+ is weird I think "
My partner is almost 20 years older than me. I've had relationships with a couple of men who've been 20+ years older than me.
I don't think age is just a number. That's a nice concept but not really true.
I think women are believed to hide their age for as long as possible, men are encouraged to embrace the "well kept" silver fox.
I don't think there's a particular physical characteristic that makes an older person attractive to me. No, that's not quite true. I like streaks of grey. Full grey. White. Salt and pepper hair. Not as a rule though.
I've always found older men more attractive. Women I'm generally more, whatever. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aaargh, there should be an edit button to deal with the typos before losing the whole thing
I was saying that you seem quite preoccupied about older people attracting the younger, OP, as this is the third or fourth thread you post on the subject.
Do you have anything against it? Do you think it is wrong? I tend to spend time with men at least 10 years younger (or up to 26 years younger) than me and they have all told me that my age is the last thing on their minds … and I can’t help but feel self conscious many times because of questions like the ones on your original post.
But I know what I like and younger people like me back. Yay. "
I dunno how many threads I’ve done about older/younger relationship dynamics. Probably more than 4. I like older women as much as I like women my own age. I think many people on here think I like older women more than I do women my own age. Lol. So no I don’t have an issue with it… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How much older is much older?
Older than you!!
People think an age gap of like 20 years+ is weird I think
My partner is almost 20 years older than me. I've had relationships with a couple of men who've been 20+ years older than me.
I don't think age is just a number. That's a nice concept but not really true.
I think women are believed to hide their age for as long as possible, men are encouraged to embrace the "well kept" silver fox.
I don't think there's a particular physical characteristic that makes an older person attractive to me. No, that's not quite true. I like streaks of grey. Full grey. White. Salt and pepper hair. Not as a rule though.
I've always found older men more attractive. Women I'm generally more, whatever. "
I actually think as a man getting older will be alright. I don’t actually think it’ll make me less desirable when I really think about it. Older men are desirable. Even the media push that |
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"The thing the young ‘uns will actually realise themselves as they age is that the perception of age kind of changes as you get older.
It’s difficult to explain what I mean really, but when I was 18 someone my age looked “normal age” and who was 35 looked OLD. When I was 35 someone the same age (35) no longer looked old, they looked young. But someone 50 looked old. Now I’m 50 people of my age don’t look old. Weird, I can’t explain it very well.
So maybe those people that like older people and find them attractive can see NOW what I’ve only been able to see as I’ve aged. Or something.
I’ve confused myself tbf, so I doubt if anyone else know the hell what I’m warbling about "
I agree, but when you were 20, blokes aged 50 had settled into their cardigans and slacks pulled up really high. Maybe it was about outlook as well as just appearance though.
Now at 50 you can still do all the same things so your outlook doesn’t need to be that you’re a few short years from the welcoming arms of death.
I thought I liked women generally younger than me, until I liked someone 7 years older. I think my brain just likes toying with me  |
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It's the cult of youth isn't it. Women like me are rarely represented in any form of media in a positive way ( I'm sure men have the same experience but I can only speak from my experience). If I look to buy clothes on line I never see a model of my age. People judge old because they're encouraged to see it as bad.
The beauty standards imposed are all aimed at concealing any indication that you might be older. It's wearing and frankly incredibly difficult to ignore. I know and acknowledge my age but to be honest the constant drip, drip of phrases like 'conceal', 'fight', 'seven signs of aging' etc make me sometimes doubt myself.
I don't know what attractive older people are supposed to look like but I'm pretty sure whatever we look like someone will find a cream that'll improve on it  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's the cult of youth isn't it. Women like me are rarely represented in any form of media in a positive way ( I'm sure men have the same experience but I can only speak from my experience). If I look to buy clothes on line I never see a model of my age. People judge old because they're encouraged to see it as bad.
The beauty standards imposed are all aimed at concealing any indication that you might be older. It's wearing and frankly incredibly difficult to ignore. I know and acknowledge my age but to be honest the constant drip, drip of phrases like 'conceal', 'fight', 'seven signs of aging' etc make me sometimes doubt myself.
I don't know what attractive older people are supposed to look like but I'm pretty sure whatever we look like someone will find a cream that'll improve on it "
 There’s a cream for that!
You know my opinions on you mrs N. But I think you’re so right about the constant being fed this idea that signs of ageing in women make them undesirable and unattractive. In contrast- men I think it’s like grey and older is hot. Silver fox. Clooney, Idris etc. |
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"It's the cult of youth isn't it. Women like me are rarely represented in any form of media in a positive way ( I'm sure men have the same experience but I can only speak from my experience). If I look to buy clothes on line I never see a model of my age. People judge old because they're encouraged to see it as bad.
The beauty standards imposed are all aimed at concealing any indication that you might be older. It's wearing and frankly incredibly difficult to ignore. I know and acknowledge my age but to be honest the constant drip, drip of phrases like 'conceal', 'fight', 'seven signs of aging' etc make me sometimes doubt myself.
I don't know what attractive older people are supposed to look like but I'm pretty sure whatever we look like someone will find a cream that'll improve on it
There’s a cream for that!
You know my opinions on you mrs N. But I think you’re so right about the constant being fed this idea that signs of ageing in women make them undesirable and unattractive. In contrast- men I think it’s like grey and older is hot. Silver fox. Clooney, Idris etc. "
Mr N 
.
.
Yep I have very obvious signs of aging which I try not to be conscious of because I *know* that it's not a bad thing and I genuinely believe that we shouldn't hide them but sometimes it's very difficult |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's the cult of youth isn't it. Women like me are rarely represented in any form of media in a positive way ( I'm sure men have the same experience but I can only speak from my experience). If I look to buy clothes on line I never see a model of my age. People judge old because they're encouraged to see it as bad.
The beauty standards imposed are all aimed at concealing any indication that you might be older. It's wearing and frankly incredibly difficult to ignore. I know and acknowledge my age but to be honest the constant drip, drip of phrases like 'conceal', 'fight', 'seven signs of aging' etc make me sometimes doubt myself.
I don't know what attractive older people are supposed to look like but I'm pretty sure whatever we look like someone will find a cream that'll improve on it
There’s a cream for that!
You know my opinions on you mrs N. But I think you’re so right about the constant being fed this idea that signs of ageing in women make them undesirable and unattractive. In contrast- men I think it’s like grey and older is hot. Silver fox. Clooney, Idris etc.
Mr N
.
.
Yep I have very obvious signs of aging which I try not to be conscious of because I *know* that it's not a bad thing and I genuinely believe that we shouldn't hide them but sometimes it's very difficult"
He’s a hottie too.  |
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"I know I still find Katey Sagal attractive. She is 69.
Now that said, I can say I wouldn't sleep with her but still. Attractive none the less. "
Yep people can be attractive without being sexually attractive but sexual attraction seems to be more highly valued |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know I still find Katey Sagal attractive. She is 69.
Now that said, I can say I wouldn't sleep with her but still. Attractive none the less. "
Martha Stewart is attractive too. What I’m wondering though is are attractive older men and women basically people that don’t look that old? Or who look younger than they are? Are in good shape etc.
and I think aside from silver fox looks (who tend to be in great shape) yeah I think people have an opinion of older people looking more desirable if they look younger |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"On fab though I don't think the 'know what they want and how to get it' stereotype helps. It implies an image of older women that isn't always correct "
I mean fab is interesting. How many people on fab are genuinely attracted to older people and not playing out fantasies in their heads? |
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"I know I still find Katey Sagal attractive. She is 69.
Now that said, I can say I wouldn't sleep with her but still. Attractive none the less.
Martha Stewart is attractive too. What I’m wondering though is are attractive older men and women basically people that don’t look that old? Or who look younger than they are? Are in good shape etc.
and I think aside from silver fox looks (who tend to be in great shape) yeah I think people have an opinion of older people looking more desirable if they look younger "
Agreed. Loads of people think the biggest compliment they can pay me has 'for your age' tagged on the end of it.
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"On fab though I don't think the 'know what they want and how to get it' stereotype helps. It implies an image of older women that isn't always correct
I mean fab is interesting. How many people on fab are genuinely attracted to older people and not playing out fantasies in their heads? "
Very few I'll wager but isn't this a place to play out fantasies?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I know I still find Katey Sagal attractive. She is 69.
Now that said, I can say I wouldn't sleep with her but still. Attractive none the less.
Martha Stewart is attractive too. What I’m wondering though is are attractive older men and women basically people that don’t look that old? Or who look younger than they are? Are in good shape etc.
and I think aside from silver fox looks (who tend to be in great shape) yeah I think people have an opinion of older people looking more desirable if they look younger
Agreed. Loads of people think the biggest compliment they can pay me has 'for your age' tagged on the end of it.
"
I’m kinda stealing this from a film but you are objectively attractive at any age. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"On fab though I don't think the 'know what they want and how to get it' stereotype helps. It implies an image of older women that isn't always correct
I mean fab is interesting. How many people on fab are genuinely attracted to older people and not playing out fantasies in their heads?
Very few I'll wager but isn't this a place to play out fantasies?
"
For sure! Charge it to the game right?
|
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"I know I still find Katey Sagal attractive. She is 69.
Now that said, I can say I wouldn't sleep with her but still. Attractive none the less.
Martha Stewart is attractive too. What I’m wondering though is are attractive older men and women basically people that don’t look that old? Or who look younger than they are? Are in good shape etc.
and I think aside from silver fox looks (who tend to be in great shape) yeah I think people have an opinion of older people looking more desirable if they look younger
Agreed. Loads of people think the biggest compliment they can pay me has 'for your age' tagged on the end of it.
I’m kinda stealing this from a film but you are objectively attractive at any age. "
Thanks. . |
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"On fab though I don't think the 'know what they want and how to get it' stereotype helps. It implies an image of older women that isn't always correct
I mean fab is interesting. How many people on fab are genuinely attracted to older people and not playing out fantasies in their heads?
Very few I'll wager but isn't this a place to play out fantasies?
For sure! Charge it to the game right?
"
I don't really know what that means but yeah, charge it to the game |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"On fab though I don't think the 'know what they want and how to get it' stereotype helps. It implies an image of older women that isn't always correct
I mean fab is interesting. How many people on fab are genuinely attracted to older people and not playing out fantasies in their heads?
Very few I'll wager but isn't this a place to play out fantasies?
For sure! Charge it to the game right?
I don't really know what that means but yeah, charge it to the game "
Smh |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think the obsession on the young is a way to make people feel shit as they get older. And thus buy stuff to make you unattainably 20 again.
In summary, fuck capitalism."
Now you are someone I can get behind! |
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Not sure age is a major factor for me, perhaps as I get older there are less people older than me and more that are younger.
It's other things than pure age though, someone much younger probably has different interests and life experiences than I do, sure doesn't matter much for a quick shag, but anything longer term its important. I travel a lot, work, scuba diving, triathlon, so quite often meet up with people where we both know it's probably likely to be a one off. Age is less important then. |
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No it’s not weird. We’re all attracted to different things.
Sometimes it’s floats and boats.
Sometimes boats and hoes
Ps. I have a much more comprehensive answer to your question OP but it’s late and I’m feeling cheeky  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"No it’s not weird. We’re all attracted to different things.
Sometimes it’s floats and boats.
Sometimes boats and hoes
Ps. I have a much more comprehensive answer to your question OP but it’s late and I’m feeling cheeky "
Tell me your answer. In detail. Whilst I’m |
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"No it’s not weird. We’re all attracted to different things.
Sometimes it’s floats and boats.
Sometimes boats and hoes
Ps. I have a much more comprehensive answer to your question OP but it’s late and I’m feeling cheeky
Tell me your answer. In detail. Whilst I’m "
You’re what? I’m intrigued now…. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"No it’s not weird. We’re all attracted to different things.
Sometimes it’s floats and boats.
Sometimes boats and hoes
Ps. I have a much more comprehensive answer to your question OP but it’s late and I’m feeling cheeky
Tell me your answer. In detail. Whilst I’m
You’re what? I’m intrigued now…. "
Whilst I’m |
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By *olf and RedCouple
over a year ago
Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston |
My mum’s partner was 13 years younger , she always looked young for her age. They were together for 10 years until she passed away. No-one found it strange, you could tell they really loved each other.
Wolf is quite a bit older than me. I obviously find him attractive. It’s about the person rather than their age.
Red |
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The question will always be whether you have enough in common. As I look for more than just the sex there has to be enough commonalities to provide interesting pillow talk. If there is then age really isn't that important but big age gaps make this less likely.
Also, I get the impression that a lot of the guys in their twenties that contact me it's a tick box thing rather than a genuine attraction to me as a person. |
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By *apybarasCouple
over a year ago
High Lighthouse! |
"The thing the young ‘uns will actually realise themselves as they age is that the perception of age kind of changes as you get older.
It’s difficult to explain what I mean really, but when I was 18 someone my age looked “normal age” and who was 35 looked OLD. When I was 35 someone the same age (35) no longer looked old, they looked young. But someone 50 looked old. Now I’m 50 people of my age don’t look old. Weird, I can’t explain it very well.
So maybe those people that like older people and find them attractive can see NOW what I’ve only been able to see as I’ve aged. Or something.
I’ve confused myself tbf, so I doubt if anyone else know the hell what I’m warbling about
I agree, but when you were 20, blokes aged 50 had settled into their cardigans and slacks pulled up really high. Maybe it was about outlook as well as just appearance though.
Now at 50 you can still do all the same things so your outlook doesn’t need to be that you’re a few short years from the welcoming arms of death.
I thought I liked women generally younger than me, until I liked someone 7 years older. I think my brain just likes toying with me
"
Don't diss the cardi!
But yes, I was looking at pictures of my family the other day. People my age now, dressed and behaved like they were 20 years older.
All of the men on the beach at Walton in long trousers, shirts and jackets. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well, well, well.
This morning my Facebook page is full of adverts for anti aging products. I feel judged "
They’re just reading what you say on here |
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"Well, well, well.
This morning my Facebook page is full of adverts for anti aging products. I feel judged
They’re just reading what you say on here "
If I buy all this stuff I will apparently 'fight the seven signs of aging' whatever they are, 'target fine lines and wrinkles' and have 'noticeably brighter skin'. I will also be considerably poorer. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well, well, well.
This morning my Facebook page is full of adverts for anti aging products. I feel judged
They’re just reading what you say on here
If I buy all this stuff I will apparently 'fight the seven signs of aging' whatever they are, 'target fine lines and wrinkles' and have 'noticeably brighter skin'. I will also be considerably poorer. "
But, to them, considerably hotter too. |
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"Well, well, well.
This morning my Facebook page is full of adverts for anti aging products. I feel judged
They’re just reading what you say on here
If I buy all this stuff I will apparently 'fight the seven signs of aging' whatever they are, 'target fine lines and wrinkles' and have 'noticeably brighter skin'. I will also be considerably poorer.
But, to them, considerably hotter too. "
That's what they're tapping into isn't it, the idea that you only really count of people want to have sex with you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well, well, well.
This morning my Facebook page is full of adverts for anti aging products. I feel judged
They’re just reading what you say on here
If I buy all this stuff I will apparently 'fight the seven signs of aging' whatever they are, 'target fine lines and wrinkles' and have 'noticeably brighter skin'. I will also be considerably poorer.
But, to them, considerably hotter too.
That's what they're tapping into isn't it, the idea that you only really count of people want to have sex with you. "
Plenty of people want to have sex with you. That’s what they don’t know and would be horrified at!! |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"How much older is much older?
Older than you!!
People think an age gap of like 20 years+ is weird I think
My partner is almost 20 years older than me. I've had relationships with a couple of men who've been 20+ years older than me.
I don't think age is just a number. That's a nice concept but not really true.
I think women are believed to hide their age for as long as possible, men are encouraged to embrace the "well kept" silver fox.
I don't think there's a particular physical characteristic that makes an older person attractive to me. No, that's not quite true. I like streaks of grey. Full grey. White. Salt and pepper hair. Not as a rule though.
I've always found older men more attractive. Women I'm generally more, whatever.
I actually think as a man getting older will be alright. I don’t actually think it’ll make me less desirable when I really think about it. Older men are desirable. Even the media push that "
Yes because for women beauty is seen as being in their youth. Their "fertility", those little indicators of youth. Marketing campaigns are quite interesting in this regard - I won't bore you with reams of text about it.
Essentially - men, success. Powerful. Getting the woman because of the image they depict. Women, highlighting flaws and promising they can turn back time. Make them more desirable. Younger looking.
Is it grim? Fuck yes. |
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"Well, well, well.
This morning my Facebook page is full of adverts for anti aging products. I feel judged
They’re just reading what you say on here
If I buy all this stuff I will apparently 'fight the seven signs of aging' whatever they are, 'target fine lines and wrinkles' and have 'noticeably brighter skin'. I will also be considerably poorer.
But, to them, considerably hotter too.
That's what they're tapping into isn't it, the idea that you only really count of people want to have sex with you.
Plenty of people want to have sex with you. That’s what they don’t know and would be horrified at!! "
Being serious for a moment though, the further away we move from valuing women based on how attractive they are for sexual purposes the less anyone will worry about age. This could have the effect of people thinking it's perfectly natural to find all ages attractive. Where's the profit in that though? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well, well, well.
This morning my Facebook page is full of adverts for anti aging products. I feel judged
They’re just reading what you say on here
If I buy all this stuff I will apparently 'fight the seven signs of aging' whatever they are, 'target fine lines and wrinkles' and have 'noticeably brighter skin'. I will also be considerably poorer.
But, to them, considerably hotter too.
That's what they're tapping into isn't it, the idea that you only really count of people want to have sex with you.
Plenty of people want to have sex with you. That’s what they don’t know and would be horrified at!!
Being serious for a moment though, the further away we move from valuing women based on how attractive they are for sexual purposes the less anyone will worry about age. This could have the effect of people thinking it's perfectly natural to find all ages attractive. Where's the profit in that thought?"
Where’s the profit in that indeed!
I think you’re so right. It is all linked to the idea that women’s value is attached to how attractive they look! |
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"The question will always be whether you have enough in common. As I look for more than just the sex there has to be enough commonalities to provide interesting pillow talk. If there is then age really isn't that important but big age gaps make this less likely.
Also, I get the impression that a lot of the guys in their twenties that contact me it's a tick box thing rather than a genuine attraction to me as a person."
I agree wth all you have said except after looking at your pictures i don't think they are ticking a box.
It is more likely they can't see past how hot you look |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
It's not weird at all. I'm 50 & I think that some younger men are attracted to the assumed sexual skills, confidence & experience that I have as opposed to a younger woman. I doubt that they genuinely find me quite as physically attractive as a woman nearer their own age, but providing they don't ask me to wear a bag over my head, I won't dwell on it too much!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's not weird at all. I'm 50 & I think that some younger men are attracted to the assumed sexual skills, confidence & experience that I have as opposed to a younger woman. I doubt that they genuinely find me quite as physically attractive as a woman nearer their own age, but providing they don't ask me to wear a bag over my head, I won't dwell on it too much!!"
I think what people find physically attractive differs. I personally find older women just as physically desirable as women my age.
But I agree that there’s a perception about what older women can do and how experienced they are that many find desirable. But it’s all stereotype. Plenty of women my age are sexually experienced and know what they want etc. |
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I remember being in a club and being aged 42 and told l was too old, lol.
Now aged 64 l went to a club and was very well relieved as l was well dressed, nice aftershave and polite.
I have always preferred older than myself. |
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"I remember being in a club and being aged 42 and told l was too old, lol.
Now aged 64 l went to a club and was very well relieved as l was well dressed, nice aftershave and polite.
I have always preferred older than myself."
I prefer similar age or older myself, nothing to do with physical attraction or 'naively' assumed sexual experience, but I'm guessing the matuity of experience of life/relationships |
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