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Badly explain your job
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Just badly explain your job and let others guess what you do (unless you need to remain discreet or wish for it to remain private)
For example a Teacher could badly explain their job by saying
“I yell at uninterested children for 6 hours every day.”
How are you going to badly explain your job ? |
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I provide free time for other people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I look at peoples bank accounts and bill them.
F |
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I mess with computers and pipe, at the same time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I yell at uninterested adults a couple of times a week |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maid, gopher, the organiser |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You break it. I fix it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sit on my backside and play with myself
And give myself the sack after a hour or 2 |
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"Maid, gopher, the organiser"
Are you a housewife? |
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By *4G-GBBukCouple
over a year ago
Glasgow/London |
I send and receive emails
S |
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"You break it. I fix it. "
Bob the builder ? |
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I spend 8 hours a day explaining how to do the job that I could do in half the time.
Luna |
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"I spend 8 hours a day explaining how to do the job that I could do in half the time.
Luna"
Manager ? |
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I frequently attempt to bang people's heads together to make them see sense and try to avoid a costly 3rd party.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i get to dress up and get bodily fluids on me for 13hour stints, all with a smile on my face. Px  |
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By *assy69Man
over a year ago
West Sussex and Wales |
When I am not sat, buried under piles of dusty old papers, I meet with clients and watch their eyes glaze over as I give them the advice they’ve come to get from me ……  |
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"i get to dress up and get bodily fluids on me for 13hour stints, all with a smile on my face. Px "
Nurse |
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Self Directing. Take care of the most important person alive! |
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"I spend 8 hours a day explaining how to do the job that I could do in half the time.
Luna
Manager ?"
Yes and no.
Principal in my field.
Luna |
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"When I am not sat, buried under piles of dusty old papers, I meet with clients and watch their eyes glaze over as I give them the advice they’ve come to get from me …… "
Solicitor?
Luna |
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Drive machinery and dig up trees.
The mr |
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I stick things in a pipe and pump it till it sprays out the other end
Can take hours sometimes  |
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"I frequently attempt to bang people's heads together to make them see sense and try to avoid a costly 3rd party.
T"
Councillor?
Luna |
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"Drive machinery and dig up trees.
The mr "
Landscaper?
Luna |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I refit magic smoke |
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Save the world from acts of terror one grope at a time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I shout at people and have a team of little goblins to help |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm awesome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I enjoy colouring in."
Painter and decorator? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm awesome "
Forum wit implementer? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I apply stuff to your face to make you look different  |
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By *tlwMan
over a year ago
Bermondsey |
I review contracts and advise on laws |
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I deliberately stop people from watching porn at work whilst maintaining a sense of security for the top bosses |
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Slapping a label on a box of stuff while deciphering mumbo-jumbo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I make things better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Colour redistribution operative |
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"I shout at people and have a team of little goblins to help"
Willy Wonka, is that you?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hide everyone else's mistakes and get judged the most |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I shout at people and have a team of little goblins to help
Willy Wonka, is that you? "
I'd prefer a factory  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We buy stuff cheap add our profit then sell it cheap and make other companies more money. |
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"We buy stuff cheap add our profit then sell it cheap and make other companies more money."
Electricity company apart from the sell it cheap part  |
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"Colour redistribution operative"
Painter ? |
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By *assy69Man
over a year ago
West Sussex and Wales |
"When I am not sat, buried under piles of dusty old papers, I meet with clients and watch their eyes glaze over as I give them the advice they’ve come to get from me ……
Solicitor?
Luna"
Well that was easier to guess than I’d anticipated lolol |
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"I review contracts and advise on laws"
HR |
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"I frequently attempt to bang people's heads together to make them see sense and try to avoid a costly 3rd party.
T"
Marriage guidance |
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"When I am not sat, buried under piles of dusty old papers, I meet with clients and watch their eyes glaze over as I give them the advice they’ve come to get from me ……
Solicitor?
Luna
Well that was easier to guess than I’d anticipated lolol"
Met a few solicitors, you missed the bit about the client passing out when you tell them the cost for your work.
Luna |
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"I deliberately stop people from watching porn at work whilst maintaining a sense of security for the top bosses"
IT firewall dept |
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One of us deals with Lady parts.
One of us is welcomed into people's home. |
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[Removed by poster at 11/07/23 17:34:16] |
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By *tlwMan
over a year ago
Bermondsey |
"I review contracts and advise on laws
HR"
Not really. More than that |
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"I apply stuff to your face to make you look different "
Make up artist |
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By *tlwMan
over a year ago
Bermondsey |
"When I am not sat, buried under piles of dusty old papers, I meet with clients and watch their eyes glaze over as I give them the advice they’ve come to get from me ……
Solicitor?
Luna
Well that was easier to guess than I’d anticipated lolol
Met a few solicitors, you missed the bit about the client passing out when you tell them the cost for your work.
Luna"
Lol so true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I disperse pollution across a wider area than previously. |
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Mens things that no-one else can without the help of Google |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I program black boxed to make machines work |
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"I disperse pollution across a wider area than previously. "
Delivery driver
Luna |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tell people to pay their debts and meet their obligations. Sometimes I tell people not to pay their alleged debts and not meet their alleged obligations |
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I fit boxes onto walls and floors, so people can cook food, wash dishes etc.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I disperse pollution across a wider area than previously.
Delivery driver
Luna"
Thankfully. No.
Poor sods have it hard. |
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I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager |
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I hit a triangle shaped object with a metal stick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager "
Karen? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I take women to a private place where they take their tops off and I look at their boobs. |
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"I frequently attempt to bang people's heads together to make them see sense and try to avoid a costly 3rd party.
T"
Divorce/custody mediator ? |
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"I apply stuff to your face to make you look different "
Make up artist? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager "
Regulator |
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I see and touch nearly naked bodies. |
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"I fit boxes onto walls and floors, so people can cook food, wash dishes etc.. "
Electrician? |
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"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager
Regulator "
Sorry but no |
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Pretend to listen to ppl, occasionally interject with a mmmmm, I see, ok..... |
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"I take women to a private place where they take their tops off and I look at their boobs. "
Mammogram tech? |
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"I tell people to pay their debts and meet their obligations. Sometimes I tell people not to pay their alleged debts and not meet their alleged obligations "
Debt advisor? |
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"Pretend to listen to ppl, occasionally interject with a mmmmm, I see, ok....."
Councellor/psychiatrist? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tell people to pay their debts and meet their obligations. Sometimes I tell people not to pay their alleged debts and not meet their alleged obligations
Debt advisor?"
Nope - btw your job is driving me crazy!! Making my brain scramble !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I fit boxes onto walls and floors, so people can cook food, wash dishes etc.. "
Kitchen fitter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager "
Mystery shopper |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager
Regulator
Sorry but no"
Stay at home mum? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Spray hot loads on things |
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I make people appear to be something they aren’t whilst maintaining who they are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see and touch nearly naked bodies."
Beauty therapist/masseuse |
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"I tell people to pay their debts and meet their obligations. Sometimes I tell people not to pay their alleged debts and not meet their alleged obligations
Debt advisor?
Nope - btw your job is driving me crazy!! Making my brain scramble !! "
You won't get it. Hell I can hardly explain my job |
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"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager
Mystery shopper"
Nope |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I keep 45 employees on the right track |
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"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager
Regulator
Sorry but no
Stay at home mum? "
Nope. My idea of hell (no off3nce to sahm's, just not for me) |
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"Spray hot loads on things "
Steam cleaner? |
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"I save lives and organise … "
Blood donation thingy? |
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"I spend 8 hours a day explaining how to do the job that I could do in half the time.
Luna"
Trade trainer? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spray hot loads on things
Steam cleaner?"
No sorry |
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By *ingdangTV/TS
over a year ago
manchester |
I bang my head onto the keyboard for 8 hours a day, and occasionally I find something and start typing really fast. |
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"Drive machinery and dig up trees.
The mr
Landscaper?
Luna"
Afraid not.
The mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager "
Teacher |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of us deals with Lady parts.
One of us is welcomed into people's home."
A gynaecologist?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I bang my head onto the keyboard for 8 hours a day, and occasionally I find something and start typing really fast."
Something to do with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I help people not work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I give people what they need to give themselves more exposure to their public but in a legal way |
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"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager
Teacher "
Wrong again |
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"I keep 45 employees on the right track"
PAYROLL! |
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"I kill plants and eat them "
Is vegan a profession? |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
I draw lines and circles.
I also make stuff from plastic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I bang my head onto the keyboard for 8 hours a day, and occasionally I find something and start typing really fast."
Journalist  |
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"I supply stuff to the needy "
Mrs/Ms Robin hood |
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I write songs, sing, play guitar & make women think about ‘the sex’ when they look at me….  |
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By *ndycoinsMan
over a year ago
Whaley Bridge,Nr Buxton, |
Unwanted history rescue and redistribution |
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I just make it up and wing it, technically speaking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I fix that which is broken so others can fix that which you have broken. |
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I move all the crappy dangerous stuff that nobody else wants to.
Mr H.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I watch people have threesomes all day long. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I move stuff from one part of the world to the other
Mr C  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I watch people have threesomes all day long. "
BBC |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I watch people have threesomes all day long.
BBC "
Haha. |
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I tell people what to do… no one listens to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I specialise in accurate interpretations of your pathetically unclear and dismally vague descriptions of what you think might be going wrong.
- Mr |
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"I move all the crappy dangerous stuff that nobody else wants to.
Mr H.
"
Asbestos remover? |
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"I specialise in accurate interpretations of your pathetically unclear and dismally vague descriptions of what you think might be going wrong.
- Mr"
Political Secretary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take people to the shops, whilst trying to avoid any awkward looks or outbursts of anger. Helping adults to make their own drinks and dinner etc, occasionally wipe arses and sit around in silence often |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take people to the shops, whilst trying to avoid any awkward looks or outbursts of anger. Helping adults to make their own drinks and dinner etc, occasionally wipe arses and sit around in silence often"
A thankless task I'm sure  speaks volumes!! |
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By *tlwMan
over a year ago
Bermondsey |
"I tell people what to do… no one listens to me "
TfL speaker? |
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"Take people to the shops, whilst trying to avoid any awkward looks or outbursts of anger. Helping adults to make their own drinks and dinner etc, occasionally wipe arses and sit around in silence often"
Carer? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take people to the shops, whilst trying to avoid any awkward looks or outbursts of anger. Helping adults to make their own drinks and dinner etc, occasionally wipe arses and sit around in silence often
A thankless task I'm sure speaks volumes!!"
It can be extremely thankless, but it can be extremely rewarding too.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to make things look nice. |
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"I move all the crappy dangerous stuff that nobody else wants to.
Mr H.
Asbestos remover?"
Close but my job will kill me far quicker if I get it wrong
Mr H |
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"I move all the crappy dangerous stuff that nobody else wants to.
Mr H.
Asbestos remover?
Close but my job will kill me far quicker if I get it wrong
Mr H "
Sharps collector or whatever it's called |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
I spend shitloads of money on stuff the company doesn't want, but needs, and shout "How Much!" several times per day. But, without this stuff, the company would grind to a halt! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i get to dress up and get bodily fluids on me for 13hour stints, all with a smile on my face. Px "
Gotta be a nurse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I walk around a big yard, moving pieces of railway around until it’s built and ready to go out and survey the network |
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"I move all the crappy dangerous stuff that nobody else wants to.
Mr H.
Asbestos remover?
Close but my job will kill me far quicker if I get it wrong
Mr H
Sharps collector or whatever it's called "
That was my old job
I have much more of a blast in this one.
Mr H |
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This is old job I had many years
Ago I'd go around shops swop them something I didn't want and have give me something that I wanted and have them pay me a fee. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most days im covered in white stuff thats sticky,i spend a lot of time on my knees  |
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"I spend shitloads of money on stuff the company doesn't want, but needs, and shout "How Much!" several times per day. But, without this stuff, the company would grind to a halt!"
Gotta be the safety person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most days im covered in white stuff thats sticky,i spend a lot of time on my knees "
Plasterer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I make other people do their jobs with 0 accountability. No I'm not a manager
Regulator
Sorry but no
Stay at home mum?
Nope. My idea of hell (no off3nce to sahm's, just not for me)"
Same. Too bloody hard!!!
Argh this has actually gotten me obsessively thinking !!!! |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
"I spend shitloads of money on stuff the company doesn't want, but needs, and shout "How Much!" several times per day. But, without this stuff, the company would grind to a halt!
Gotta be the safety person"
Nope! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get the wetness from A to B |
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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"Just badly explain your job and let others guess what you do (unless you need to remain discreet or wish for it to remain private)
For example a Teacher could badly explain their job by saying
“I yell at uninterested children for 6 hours every day.”
How are you going to badly explain your job ?"
being nice to people and them being C**** back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Going into the office two days a week and pretending that I've been working for five! |
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"Just badly explain your job and let others guess what you do (unless you need to remain discreet or wish for it to remain private)
For example a Teacher could badly explain their job by saying
“I yell at uninterested children for 6 hours every day.”
How are you going to badly explain your job ?
being nice to people and them being C**** back "
Telesales/customer service?? |
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"Going into the office two days a week and pretending that I've been working for five! "
.
Isn't that 99% of flexibility office jobs out there? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I draw things badly and then argue about them with other people, sometimes in written form |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Knock stuff down. Paint stuff. Let others pay me for warmth and comfort |
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I make things louder, bigger and brighter so more people can see and hear things. |
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I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand. |
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I make other people look better and scream into the void |
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"I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand. "
Engineer??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand. "
Illuminati |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get the wetness from A to B"
Janitor |
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"I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand.
Illuminati "
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"I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand. "
I would say politician but this isn't 'opposites' thread |
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My old job we used to say "we use GCSE's to fix what those with Degrees broke" |
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"I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand. "
Stage Manager? |
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"My old job we used to say "we use GCSE's to fix what those with Degrees broke""
Trades? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I spend my entire working life winding people up and irritating them. Most people hate me until they need me
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I spend my entire working life winding people up and irritating them. Most people hate me until they need me
Mrs"
Policewoman |
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"Most days im covered in white stuff thats sticky,i spend a lot of time on my knees "
Flooring |
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"I solve problems that people didn’t know existed using methods they don’t understand. "
Resource levelling / process analyst |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes a spanner will sort it…. But other times a bit of tape keeps it together ….I use both to my advantage  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I persuade people to do life changing things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I persuade people to do life changing things "
Nun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I persuade people to do life changing things
Nun"
I’d make a good Nun. Quite like the outfit anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I keep things running so you can use this site |
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I make things that don't talk to each other, talk to each other. |
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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago
for a penny |
Retired now, but
A visionary who turns dreams into drawings, effortlessly balancing form and function, and possessing the unique talent to explain complex three-dimensional concepts using LEGO bricks and cardboard. |
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I provide free electric on your roof |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I make hungry people not hungry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 11/07/23 22:15:28] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cease internet discussion |
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I plan travel for millions of people annually |
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By *archelCouple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
Stick stuff together by hitting a piece of metal with another piece of metal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you!
The only way I can describe mine is, I email people for interviews. It's not your normal every day interview though  |
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