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So who wants to kiss it better?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not just a kiss! You need someone to locate the wound and suck out the poison. This is not me volunteering 
Too afraid to get "poison" in your mouth?  "
Something like that, and I'm sure he would want someone better qualified |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Not just a kiss! You need someone to locate the wound and suck out the poison. This is not me volunteering
Too afraid to get "poison" in your mouth?
Something like that, and I'm sure he would want someone better qualified "
Practice makes perfect  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My husband has just informed me he has a mosquito bite on his penis.
Who's going to pucker up?  "
I'll do it for a glimpse of your gape, a squish of your left boob, a Costa hot chocolate and a fiver for the bus home  |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"My husband has just informed me he has a mosquito bite on his penis.
Who's going to pucker up?
I'll do it for a glimpse of your gape, a squish of your left boob, a Costa hot chocolate and a fiver for the bus home "
Are you trying to cheat me?! A daysaver is only £4.50!  |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"My husband has just informed me he has a mosquito bite on his penis.
Who's going to pucker up?
Dee - you know I think you're lovely, but my friendship only goes so far. 
Your loss  "
You're not the first woman on here to tell me that. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I would, but I don't wanna.
I feel a bit bad about it though.
Not even if you close your eyes and think of Scotland?
I mean... Scotland is alright...
I could get him to put on his kilt.. "
Now this is what I call a negotiation... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You caught me but I was hoping to get one of those collectable 50p, so I can flog it on eBay for 75p
 "
Rude! It's not everyday you get the GrandSlam! Kiss a dick, look into the (pretty) eye of Sauron and gab a boob |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"You caught me but I was hoping to get one of those collectable 50p, so I can flog it on eBay for 75p
Rude! It's not everyday you get the GrandSlam! Kiss a dick, look into the (pretty) eye of Sauron and gab a boob "
You're such a smooth talker |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pass him here. I'll do it for the greater good
F
Having just perused your photo gallery he says "yeah, okay" "
I can keep my clothes on and a bag over my head don't worry
F |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"I mean, I would but I’m allergic to those.
Penises? Or ugly lumps?
Mosquitoe bites you silly moo.
Get him to have a bee sting it and I’m there "
I shall paint petals on it and stand him in the garden naked forthwith  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a qualified internet doctor, from the facts so far, I am afraid that the only advice is that you will have to prefrom a Lorena Bobbitt on him.
Tell him to find a wooden spoon to bite on.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a qualified internet doctor, from the facts so far, I am afraid that the only advice is that you will have to prefrom*** a Lorena Bobbitt on him.
Tell him to find a wooden spoon to bite on. "
*** perform ffs. |
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And I do mean that. I've seen it, and I wouldn't go near it.
