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Women message first
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work. |
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Aside from reciprocal messages between friends and forumites on here, I've only sent three messages in the last two years. All of my interactions and meets have been on the back of women sending me the first message.
Women do message.  |
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"This is going to go down quicker than a submarine at the titanic.
Oh they aren’t going to like this one.
Karen x "
It's alright. No submarines were harmed in the continuation of white dudebro hubris. (It was a submersible) |
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work. "
Good luck OP wish all the best in the future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
Good luck OP wish all the best in the future "
Sounds like an obit  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work. "
Easy solution to your issue. Do not message another woman, you wait and let them message you.
See....its not difficult  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Have you tried that app? The one where women have to message first? I got zero meets off of it  "
Its manipulated!! Like most apps,lureing men in,until they pay to read messages,once they sign up,all drys up. Wtf!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP just out of interest, how many times have you rejoined this year? Or how many profiles do you currently have active?
You have a memorable pic
Maybe a women wants to message but wonders why does he keep re joining? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work. "
In a word.
No.
Do better.
Be better.
I have no trouble at all.
Ask yourself why. |
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
Good luck OP wish all the best in the future
Sounds like an obit "
Written by ones own hand  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
In a word.
No.
Do better.
Be better.
I have no trouble at all.
Ask yourself why."
Its the sunglasses right?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Have you tried that app? The one where women have to message first? I got zero meets off of it
Its manipulated!! Like most apps,lureing men in,until they pay to read messages,once they sign up,all drys up. Wtf!!!"
I think the apps tend to be legitimate. In my experience I have paid for one before and I got more matches and more sex. But it’s not worth the £ a month. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They are far too lazy for that!
They can't even be arsed to read messages never mind write and send them
  "
Guilty!
I would hang my head in shame. ..but you know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work. "
They do.
Couples, too, if that helps, too. My inbox has more messages than it has any right too where I was contacted.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
Good luck OP wish all the best in the future
Sounds like an obit
Written by ones own hand "
Brutal! |
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
Good luck OP wish all the best in the future
Sounds like an obit
Written by ones own hand
Brutal! "
Brutal like Ceaser |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
Good luck OP wish all the best in the future
Sounds like an obit
Written by ones own hand
Brutal!
Brutal like Ceaser"
That well-known Roman |
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
Good luck OP wish all the best in the future
Sounds like an obit
Written by ones own hand
Brutal!
Brutal like Ceaser
That well-known Roman "
I was going to say Brutal like a BBC presenter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
Good luck OP wish all the best in the future
Sounds like an obit
Written by ones own hand
Brutal!
Brutal like Ceaser
That well-known Roman
I was going to say Brutal like a BBC presenter "
Ooh is that a hint?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
Good luck OP wish all the best in the future
Sounds like an obit
Written by ones own hand
Brutal!
Brutal like Ceaser
That well-known Roman
I was going to say Brutal like a BBC presenter "
Just have a few stressful moments sometimes and feel like putting some stuff out in the open can be good |
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It's on you to live by your expectations.
If you feel like it should be more mutual with regard to the effort put in, then you can adjust your approach. Make that clear from the start.
If you don't respect how they are interacting with you, why do you want their attention at all?
First move is such a black and white term. I do appreciate a woman who can close the gap, but the first move, if such a thing exists, is an ancillary concern. |
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By *archelCouple
over a year ago
A field somewhere |
"They are far too lazy for that!
They can't even be arsed to read messages never mind write and send them
Guilty!
I would hang my head in shame. ..but you know."
Keep your head held high for me, you have the best video I've seen on here bar none. |
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work. "
and what happens when said lady initiates conversation and rapidly realises the conversation is boring?
(its almost as if you assume, "a lady initiating a conversation, thinks different to the ones who reply to a message"! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Know your place, lasses. We’re all here for the same thing at the end of the day, innit  "
Cool refreshed write up 2023. A least somebody on here knws what they like,want and know how to share that openly!
Best profile,description i have read in the short while i have been on Fab.
Keep going life is for liveing only with ones on the same wave length and frequency for the same
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Have you tried that app? The one where women have to message first? I got zero meets off of it
Its manipulated!! Like most apps,lureing men in,until they pay to read messages,once they sign up,all drys up. Wtf!!!
I think the apps tend to be legitimate. In my experience I have paid for one before and I got more matches and more sex. But it’s not worth the £ a month. "
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Didn't realise people took this place so seriously.
I don't mean to be rude as lovely as it is to get a message first from a person I'm not really that bothered who sends it first.
Isn't it about the conversation and potentially meeting someone that matters.
Saying that if anyone wants to message me today while I'm board in work then please do ?? |
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
Good luck OP wish all the best in the future
Sounds like an obit
Written by ones own hand
Brutal!
Brutal like Ceaser
That well-known Roman
I was going to say Brutal like a BBC presenter
Ooh is that a hint? "
No hint, I'm normally as subtle as a lump hammer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But women complain on here that when they do message and arrange a meet, the guys dont show up so which ever guys that do that in here tell us why you do it? |
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
·
and what happens when said lady initiates conversation and rapidly realises the conversation is boring?"
•
That works both ways. When I receive a message from a woman my optics don't deceive me: I see an introductory message and not a hole.
If her skills at handling a conversation are significantly less than handling a cock then I will kill the conversation. Particularly so when her profile states "must be articulate and hold a conversation". Women and lip service... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
·
and what happens when said lady initiates conversation and rapidly realises the conversation is boring?
•
That works both ways. When I receive a message from a woman my optics don't deceive me: I see an introductory message and not a hole.
If her skills at handling a conversation are significantly less than handling a cock then I will kill the conversation. Particularly so when her profile states "must be articulate and hold a conversation". Women and lip service..."
Agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work.
In a word.
No.
Do better.
Be better.
I have no trouble at all.
Ask yourself why.
Its the sunglasses right? "
Sssssh.
They are magic.
Source of all power.
Must protec. All costs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys this post was just a release of frustration. This attitude will pass but sometimes it’s just useful to share frustrations. Wish you all very well and I mean no ill will 
Unload on us Op. What swinging is all about, sharing is caring "
Banter amongst men makes the load lighter.
Unlike the sisters they support and empower eachother even more,throw caution to the wind and onto the next Date lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guys this post was just a release of frustration. This attitude will pass but sometimes it’s just useful to share frustrations. Wish you all very well and I mean no ill will
Unload on us Op. What swinging is all about, sharing is caring
Banter amongst men makes the load lighter.
Unlike the sisters they support and empower eachother even more,throw caution to the wind and onto the next Date lol"
Legend. I’ve got testosterone coming out my ears at this point |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
I do message first sometimes.
I don’t see any reason to keep a boring conversation going though, whether I initiated it or not!
I am not that easily bored and I can pretty much chat about any random subject.
Unfortunately sex chat becomes very boring very quickly on here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But women complain on here that when they do message and arrange a meet, the guys dont show up so which ever guys that do that in here tell us why you do it?
They're not going to admit to it "
They have to answer the question because they ruin chances for other genuine men |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But women complain on here that when they do message and arrange a meet, the guys dont show up so which ever guys that do that in here tell us why you do it?
They're not going to admit to it They have to answer the question because they ruin chances for other genuine men "
Hate to tell you but no one ruins the chances for anyone else.
If you aren't getting what you want, that's on you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you know we don't? Bit difficult to generalize as we are all different.
Maybe our needs aren't being met, and we are seeking alternatives to whats on offer?
 "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But women complain on here that when they do message and arrange a meet, the guys dont show up so which ever guys that do that in here tell us why you do it?
They're not going to admit to it They have to answer the question because they ruin chances for other genuine men
Hate to tell you but no one ruins the chances for anyone else.
If you aren't getting what you want, that's on you. "
well actually they do when Im told by certain women they wont meet men no more because of past experience being stood up by them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But women complain on here that when they do message and arrange a meet, the guys dont show up so which ever guys that do that in here tell us why you do it?
They're not going to admit to it They have to answer the question because they ruin chances for other genuine men
Hate to tell you but no one ruins the chances for anyone else.
If you aren't getting what you want, that's on you. well actually they do when Im told by certain women they wont meet men no more because of past experience being stood up by them"
That's an excuse to save mens feelings and save us abuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But women complain on here that when they do message and arrange a meet, the guys dont show up so which ever guys that do that in here tell us why you do it?
They're not going to admit to it They have to answer the question because they ruin chances for other genuine men
Hate to tell you but no one ruins the chances for anyone else.
If you aren't getting what you want, that's on you. well actually they do when Im told by certain women they wont meet men no more because of past experience being stood up by them
That's an excuse to save mens feelings and save us abuse"
To be fair that's the same excuse I use when I chin woman off, small world! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But women complain on here that when they do message and arrange a meet, the guys dont show up so which ever guys that do that in here tell us why you do it?
They're not going to admit to it They have to answer the question because they ruin chances for other genuine men
Hate to tell you but no one ruins the chances for anyone else.
If you aren't getting what you want, that's on you. well actually they do when Im told by certain women they wont meet men no more because of past experience being stood up by them"
Yeah, women also talk shite on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But women complain on here that when they do message and arrange a meet, the guys dont show up so which ever guys that do that in here tell us why you do it?
They're not going to admit to it They have to answer the question because they ruin chances for other genuine men
Hate to tell you but no one ruins the chances for anyone else.
If you aren't getting what you want, that's on you. well actually they do when Im told by certain women they wont meet men no more because of past experience being stood up by them
Yeah, women also talk shite on here. "
Like the ones who only want to meet 91 year olds? Surely that isn't true. Is it?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But women complain on here that when they do message and arrange a meet, the guys dont show up so which ever guys that do that in here tell us why you do it?
They're not going to admit to it They have to answer the question because they ruin chances for other genuine men
Hate to tell you but no one ruins the chances for anyone else.
If you aren't getting what you want, that's on you. well actually they do when Im told by certain women they wont meet men no more because of past experience being stood up by them
Yeah, women also talk shite on here.
Like the ones who only want to meet 91 year olds? Surely that isn't true. Is it? "
Well no, but shockingly I message guys I like.
I guess I could have no filters and get my boobs out then complain about the quantity/quality of messages. Not today though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’ll
Go far OP, I’ve had women interested in me message first. I’ve also messaged first seem to be going well the it falls quietly off. It’s life. You get out what you put in.
From my time in the forums, posts like this never yield the results you’ll be expecting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But women complain on here that when they do message and arrange a meet, the guys dont show up so which ever guys that do that in here tell us why you do it?
They're not going to admit to it They have to answer the question because they ruin chances for other genuine men
Hate to tell you but no one ruins the chances for anyone else.
If you aren't getting what you want, that's on you. well actually they do when Im told by certain women they wont meet men no more because of past experience being stood up by them
Yeah, women also talk shite on here.
Like the ones who only want to meet 91 year olds? Surely that isn't true. Is it?
Well no, but shockingly I message guys I like.
I guess I could have no filters and get my boobs out then complain about the quantity/quality of messages. Not today though. "
My messages are shit...but I can send lots of them? |
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work. "
Why blokes don’t adopt this approach from the beginning is a real head scratcher for me.
Let the mountain come to Mohammed, it’s much easier  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No. Every time I messaged first they turn out to be a self absorbed dick. Im attracted initially to assholes by chemistry but I'm wiser to their ways now.
When I'm messaged first, it's usually progressing better. No clue why ! Maybe I talk myself out of my choices
T |
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"But women complain on here that when they do message and arrange a meet, the guys dont show up so which ever guys that do that in here tell us why you do it?
They're not going to admit to it They have to answer the question because they ruin chances for other genuine men
Hate to tell you but no one ruins the chances for anyone else.
If you aren't getting what you want, that's on you. well actually they do when Im told by certain women they wont meet men no more because of past experience being stood up by them
Yeah, women also talk shite on here.
Like the ones who only want to meet 91 year olds? Surely that isn't true. Is it?
Well no, but shockingly I message guys I like.
I guess I could have no filters and get my boobs out then complain about the quantity/quality of messages. Not today though. "
I've tried doing that as well but didn't work....back to the drawing board I go! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women message first if they're interested .. men message first if they're interested..the bottom line is a message is only sent if a person is ..drum roll .. interested ..( a person can of course reply privately to a post on the forums etc but that's a different thing altogether it has nothing to do with straight messages ) |
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So many guys have said similar things over time. This gives the impression guys aren't in control of their own destiny. Not so!
Making statements to that effect on here isn't likely to get a positive result, so maybe take control of your own destiny, without risking pointing the finger of 'blame'.
I joined as part of a couple (we're still great friends) but have been a single guy for several years now. I'll be honest and say I can't remember ever getting a single unsolicited message, other than from one or two on a forum outside Fab, (though we had a fair bit of interest as a couple) but found messaging on here more and more frustrating and a complete waste of time. As a result I felt much happier, having stopped inflicting that on myself AND having started attending organised socials (Gloucester) and clubs I now have a great circle of genuinely wonderful friends - both male and female - and am never short of interest.
Bottom line is I blamed no one, took things into my own hands and did positive things, letting the negative ones go in the process. I still have an absolutely empty mailbox, but it's not even remotely an issue. Don't rely on others for your own successes, but get out there and let people see who you are. People may still not 'chase' you on here, but you should never be relying on others for your own happiness in anything. Go out and get it! Leaving your destiny in others hands suggests you'll be unhappy for a long time - and maybe too lazy to go make it happen. No one owes us anything, but at the same time we don't owe anyone anything either, other than basic respect. Everything else is in our own hands.
If it works for an average Joe like me it'll work for anyone surely!
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"So many guys have said similar things over time. This gives the impression guys aren't in control of their own destiny. Not so!
Making statements to that effect on here isn't likely to get a positive result, so maybe take control of your own destiny, without risking pointing the finger of 'blame'.
I joined as part of a couple (we're still great friends) but have been a single guy for several years now. I'll be honest and say I can't remember ever getting a single unsolicited message, other than from one or two on a forum outside Fab, (though we had a fair bit of interest as a couple) but found messaging on here more and more frustrating and a complete waste of time. As a result I felt much happier, having stopped inflicting that on myself AND having started attending organised socials (Gloucester) and clubs I now have a great circle of genuinely wonderful friends - both male and female - and am never short of interest.
Bottom line is I blamed no one, took things into my own hands and did positive things, letting the negative ones go in the process. I still have an absolutely empty mailbox, but it's not even remotely an issue. Don't rely on others for your own successes, but get out there and let people see who you are. People may still not 'chase' you on here, but you should never be relying on others for your own happiness in anything. Go out and get it! Leaving your destiny in others hands suggests you'll be unhappy for a long time - and maybe too lazy to go make it happen. No one owes us anything, but at the same time we don't owe anyone anything either, other than basic respect. Everything else is in our own hands.
If it works for an average Joe like me it'll work for anyone surely!
"
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"Why should a desirable woman want to message first?
For fuck sake get over yourself and accept we outnumber them 100 to 1.
To get what I want. Unless I'm an undesirable . "
Wow I don't see how you got that from my post but fine.
My point is stop fucking whining about who messages first. |
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"Why should a desirable woman want to message first?
For fuck sake get over yourself and accept we outnumber them 100 to 1.
To get what I want. Unless I'm an undesirable .
Wow I don't see how you got that from my post but fine.
My point is stop fucking whining about who messages first."
You've been on here 2 months, unless you've been on before....ppl are free to whine about what they like. Just like you whining about ppl whining. Ironic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I message first a lot. The problem is a lot of men have shit chat and I get bored carrying conversations so just delete it x"
...I know what you mean but it's hard trying trying to spark conversation based on profile picture over the phone...its not like down the pub where you can easily have chemistry face to face
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"I message first a lot. The problem is a lot of men have shit chat and I get bored carrying conversations so just delete it x...I know what you mean but it's hard trying trying to spark conversation based on profile picture over the phone...its not like down the pub where you can easily have chemistry face to face "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP - have you seen mens profiles?!!
Most have a blurred extreme close up cock shot with "just ask" or "will fill in later" and if you dressage first and decide not to meet as the guy is a total spanner you get branded a "time waster"
Obviously not all the men on here but the vast majority
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So many guys have said similar things over time. This gives the impression guys aren't in control of their own destiny. Not so!
Making statements to that effect on here isn't likely to get a positive result, so maybe take control of your own destiny, without risking pointing the finger of 'blame'.
I joined as part of a couple (we're still great friends) but have been a single guy for several years now. I'll be honest and say I can't remember ever getting a single unsolicited message, other than from one or two on a forum outside Fab, (though we had a fair bit of interest as a couple) but found messaging on here more and more frustrating and a complete waste of time. As a result I felt much happier, having stopped inflicting that on myself AND having started attending organised socials (Gloucester) and clubs I now have a great circle of genuinely wonderful friends - both male and female - and am never short of interest.
Bottom line is I blamed no one, took things into my own hands and did positive things, letting the negative ones go in the process. I still have an absolutely empty mailbox, but it's not even remotely an issue. Don't rely on others for your own successes, but get out there and let people see who you are. People may still not 'chase' you on here, but you should never be relying on others for your own happiness in anything. Go out and get it! Leaving your destiny in others hands suggests you'll be unhappy for a long time - and maybe too lazy to go make it happen. No one owes us anything, but at the same time we don't owe anyone anything either, other than basic respect. Everything else is in our own hands.
If it works for an average Joe like me it'll work for anyone surely!
"
Now that is a truth bomb! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work. "
I don't get an ego boost unless my inbox is full of desperate men begging for a sniff of my pussy. If I messaged first that wouldn't happen. |
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Don’t know what you’re doing wrong, but fucking hell the amount of close up vag in my inbox and the abuse I get when I say no thank you is unreal, these women are like wild beasts, they act like they’ve never seen a hairy chest and gentlemen sausage before.
The struggle is real.
The mr |
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"Why should a desirable woman want to message first?
For fuck sake get over yourself and accept we outnumber them 100 to 1.
To get what I want. Unless I'm an undesirable .
Wow I don't see how you got that from my post but fine.
My point is stop fucking whining about who messages first."
It's called a joke.
Regards,
Undesirable Lacey |
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work. "
Maybe lots already do....!! and what you are really doing is complaining, they're not doing it to you..... A common thread theme here |
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work. "
Oh my pal. You have so much to learn |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m tired of everything being so biased towards men putting all the work into the chat. Having to keep the conversation afloat and the minute a girl gets bored she just leaves for another conversation of which she has 50 waiting for her. Ladies you need to make the first move and not just make the lads do all the work. "
The problem with messaging is how what you say can be perceived to the other, it has little or no expression at times or sarcasm and humour may come across as something different.
This works both ways. What you say to them or they say to you.
If you feel you’re having to keep the conversation afloat maybe she is not feeling it but wants to be polite but eventually just ends it. That’s everyone’s right. I have ended chats that I don’t feel are going anywhere, or alternatively ask them for their number if they are comfortable to give it. Let them hear the expression of your voice and how you say certain things.
That said somethings are just not meant to be. Move on |
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"OP - have you seen mens profiles?!!
Most have a blurred extreme close up cock shot with "just ask" or "will fill in later" and if you dressage first and decide not to meet as the guy is a total spanner you get branded a "time waster"
Obviously not all the men on here but the vast majority"
•
Dearest OP, have you seen women's profiles?!!
Most have a blank avatar with "hey" or "message me to find out more" or "not sure what to say", and if you message first and decide not to meet as the woman is totally unhinged you get branded a "time waster".
Obviously not all the ladies on here but just the 'women'. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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If a woman is genuinely interested? She'll put the effort in. It doesn't matter who messages first, not really. It's about what follows after.
If a woman isn't feeling it for whatever reason? Well, you're not compatible. I don't think it matters how many men a woman is talking to - if she wants to make the effort to talk to you she will. I think that's true with everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP - have you seen mens profiles?!!
Most have a blurred extreme close up cock shot with "just ask" or "will fill in later" and if you dressage first and decide not to meet as the guy is a total spanner you get branded a "time waster"
Obviously not all the men on here but the vast majority
•
Dearest OP, have you seen women's profiles?!!
Most have a blank avatar with "hey" or "message me to find out more" or "not sure what to say", and if you message first and decide not to meet as the woman is totally unhinged you get branded a "time waster".
Obviously not all the ladies on here but just the 'women'."
The Denial is real Daily! I rather approach on my daily grind, yes/no you knw where you stand and can see in the flesh face to face.
Had some top class dates from street approach. . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a woman is genuinely interested? She'll put the effort in. It doesn't matter who messages first, not really. It's about what follows after.
If a woman isn't feeling it for whatever reason? Well, you're not compatible. I don't think it matters how many men a woman is talking to - if she wants to make the effort to talk to you she will. I think that's true with everyone. "
Best bit of Journalism right here,facts. Dont just read words,look closely at actions.
Ps, oh the emotions can change at any given time. ( do read the small print ) |
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I think psychologically we see societal norms flipped on their head on Fab. Although equality in society is gradually equalising, us men have had things our way in a lot of areas over many years. Fab creates a situation where the women have the power, as does swinging in general.
As a single guy Fab is stacked against you being successful. Problem with that is people continue to bang their heads on the wall instead of looking at other options. The old adage of 'If you do what you've always done......' absolutely applies. Simply bemoaning a lack of success won't change that, nor will an online profile if it doesn't get across who you are. I doubt mine does as it's not successful, but going to clubs and social events is very successful. That's very telling.
If you want things to be good break the cycle and try a different approach. I got lucky in that it happened by accident for me due to getting involved with an online community elsewhere, then meeting up at an event that suited what I was looking for. Chatting got me known as a decent bloke and over time that built into something real in terms of friendships in and outside swinging. I can honestly say I can't remember the last time I went to a club and didn't get the opportunity to play. As a very average dude I'd say that means the vast majority of men can achieve the same.
Be real, be respectful, be honest and don't be a pest. Don't pretend to be some kind if bid-timer, or loud if that's not the natural you. I'm quite quiet and a little shy naturally, but some women clearly appreciate that. Others will like something else, but over time you'll naturally find your people once they see who you are. Just let it happen, rather than trying to force things....and stop chasing desperately if that's what you're finding yourself doing on here. Desperation is not an attractive trait. |
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