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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Meeting someone for a social for the first time. What do you do, if they turn up, look exactly how you expected, but don't act the way they portray themselves online?
Do you;
A) Go with it to be polite, have your drink, conversation. Etc.
Or
B) Make an excuse as to why you have to cut the social short? |
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"Meeting someone for a social for the first time. What do you do, if they turn up, look exactly how you expected, but don't act the way they portray themselves online?
Do you;
A) Go with it to be polite, have your drink, conversation. Etc.
Or
B) Make an excuse as to why you have to cut the social short?"
A let it play out get to know them more and then just see what happens from there. Presuming you mean they act worse than how they portray themselves ? |
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Forum vs face to face is always different, people have a chance to edit a sentence before it is posted but speech is freestyle a d once it's out you can't put the genie back in the bottle. See how it plays out, if they don't do it for you, feel free to GTFO, but at least give them a chance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cant beat the face to face in person connnection.
haveing to high expectations are not a good thing.
Go with the flow,and create a vibe and mental chemistry and connection.
For me its networking and meeting people i would not out of my circle ,work or otherwise.
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
I've had this happen, he looked exactly like his pics, we had chatted for ages through msgs before meeting and got on really well, but when we met at a pub for a drink it was like talking to 40yr old teenager he was obnoxious, I excused myself to use the loo and left. I know I was a coward but I was on my own and wasn't sure how he would react if I told him I was leaving so I snuck out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had this happen, he looked exactly like his pics, we had chatted for ages through msgs before meeting and got on really well, but when we met at a pub for a drink it was like talking to 40yr old teenager he was obnoxious, I excused myself to use the loo and left. I know I was a coward but I was on my own and wasn't sure how he would react if I told him I was leaving so I snuck out!"
You need a gentleman  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s largely down to the individual as we all react differently to situations, such as that.
Personally, I’d try to adapt to the circumstance, unless I become the direct target of this change, then I’d draw a line under things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had this happen, he looked exactly like his pics, we had chatted for ages through msgs before meeting and got on really well, but when we met at a pub for a drink it was like talking to 40yr old teenager he was obnoxious, I excused myself to use the loo and left. I know I was a coward but I was on my own and wasn't sure how he would react if I told him I was leaving so I snuck out!"
Just shows,many can and will type a good convo. But the real tale is in the flesh meet up,you cant hide much,some still can,i call the first 6 months the Honeymoon stage/period if good behaviour!
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"Meeting someone for a social for the first time. What do you do, if they turn up, look exactly how you expected, but don't act the way they portray themselves online?
Do you;
A) Go with it to be polite, have your drink, conversation. Etc.
Or
B) Make an excuse as to why you have to cut the social short?"
I shake my head in disgust, stamp my feet and spit my dummy out....
I don't have any expectations as to how anyone will behave based on a forum persona.....as its just that a persona.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I feel like I'd at least give them a chance and stay for a while unless they were obnoxious.
I know that I come across differently the first time meeting someone because I kind of put up a wall because of how anxious I feel and it takes a while to ease the real me out. I don't expect anyone to be exactly who they are online anyway, we will all differ slightly once we are sat face to face able to read expressions and tones etc.
If we don't click I'll politely tell someone I'm not interested in taking taking further. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had this happen, he looked exactly like his pics, we had chatted for ages through msgs before meeting and got on really well, but when we met at a pub for a drink it was like talking to 40yr old teenager he was obnoxious, I excused myself to use the loo and left. I know I was a coward but I was on my own and wasn't sure how he would react if I told him I was leaving so I snuck out!
You need a gentleman "
She dont need to be told,what she needs.
Use instincts,experience etc. And make the decisions what suit your circumstances,respect,value,worth,ssfty how you feel,or how your made to feel via conversation,looks given,understood and many factors taken into account!
looks dont over weigh behaviour,views,principles for me. |
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"I've had this happen, he looked exactly like his pics, we had chatted for ages through msgs before meeting and got on really well, but when we met at a pub for a drink it was like talking to 40yr old teenager he was obnoxious, I excused myself to use the loo and left. I know I was a coward but I was on my own and wasn't sure how he would react if I told him I was leaving so I snuck out!
You need a gentleman "
Are you that Gentleman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had this happen, he looked exactly like his pics, we had chatted for ages through msgs before meeting and got on really well, but when we met at a pub for a drink it was like talking to 40yr old teenager he was obnoxious, I excused myself to use the loo and left. I know I was a coward but I was on my own and wasn't sure how he would react if I told him I was leaving so I snuck out!
You need a gentleman
Are you that Gentleman "
Lol. Actions speak louder than any words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People are in for a shock if they think I am like I am on fab in real life. I’m better. Still a SJW though.
Whats a SJW??
Sexy jumper wearer"
Cheers for the info share. |
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As someone who talks relentlessly at first, is always give someone the time they need to settle down and be themselves. If being themselves is still a bit of a clash, or just a dick, then that's a different story  |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Just to add context. They are everything you physically go for. But their personality is what makes you moves tables in a busy pub."
People are often very different in real life than online.
Are you seriously asking for advice on how to conduct a social ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say play it out until the end, they could be just nervous and hiding behind a mask so to speak to see how you are. If after a while that you feel they really aren't for you then politely bring the social to a close and leave |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just to add context. They are everything you physically go for. But their personality is what makes you moves tables in a busy pub.
People are often very different in real life than online.
Are you seriously asking for advice on how to conduct a social ? "
No. I'm intrigued how everyone else would react under that situation.
Without wanting to quote forest gump, I'm going to quote forest gump.
"Life's a box of chocolates..." |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
One of my first ever online meets was so different from how I thought he would be. Not least because his photo was really out of date.
I did think about escaping, but decided to be polite. As we got chatting more naturally, I discovered that we got on really well.
I think you do have to allow for the fact that someone can be really nervous at an initial meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That's why it's a social. Play it out until the end and hope they don't contact me again "
This is pretty much me. I'd suffer my own awkwardness not to appear rude. And then think "thank fuck that's over" and then maybe giggle in my head. |
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Weve had both ends of the spectrum
They turn up looking a million dollars , and are dull as dishwasher
They turn up and instantly its , there's no way
And hour later your a sweaty tangled heap of bodies
Sometimes you never know how it will play out
Don't pre judge people , you may well be surprised
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Weve had both ends of the spectrum
They turn up looking a million dollars , and are dull as dishwasher
They turn up and instantly its , there's no way
And hour later your a sweaty tangled heap of bodies
Sometimes you never know how it will play out
Don't pre judge people , you may well be surprised
"
 brilliant outlook |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Finish one drink and make excuses unless you think they can handle polite no thanks in person. If you know they don't it for you - no point in extending suffering. And giving fake hopes.
Ps. Or just skip social next time if they are so irrestible than you consider abandoning your morals
T |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Finish one drink and make excuses unless you think they can handle polite no thanks in person. If you know they don't it for you - no point in extending suffering. And giving fake hopes.
Ps. Or just skip social next time if they are so irrestible than you consider abandoning your morals
T"
Morals thrown overboard  |
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"I've had this happen, he looked exactly like his pics, we had chatted for ages through msgs before meeting and got on really well, but when we met at a pub for a drink it was like talking to 40yr old teenager he was obnoxious, I excused myself to use the loo and left. I know I was a coward but I was on my own and wasn't sure how he would react if I told him I was leaving so I snuck out!
You need a gentleman
Are you that Gentleman
Lol. Actions speak louder than any words. "
Said like a true Gent...get your coat love you've pulled |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never had this actually, most are the loveable sarcastic twats they come across as on here.
But if they weren't then my face would say it all. Followed by my mouth.
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"Weve had both ends of the spectrum
They turn up looking a million dollars , and are dull as dishwasher
They turn up and instantly its , there's no way
And hour later your a sweaty tangled heap of bodies
Sometimes you never know how it will play out
Don't pre judge people , you may well be surprised
"
This all day long |
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I've never walked out of a social because usually by the time I meet anyone we've been chatting for quite a while and I have a good idea how genuine they are.
I'm not infallible though and have been caught out by attitudes and entitlement on a couple of occasions.
Some people are very good at maintaining a persona long enough to get through an initial social but revert to type in subsequent conversations. |
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"Just to add context. They are everything you physically go for. But their personality is what makes you moves tables in a busy pub."
Be polite, but be honest. I am glad to have met you, but I am not feeling it, so I will be heading off now. |
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I’d like to think I’d stay to see if they eased up a bit with some “normal” friendly convo, unless they started spouting political, misogynistic or racist shite, then I hope I’d call them out on it and explain clearly why I was leaving. If they really were the sort I’d move tables to get away from in different circumstances, then I’d definitely make my excuses and leave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got to go with it, once I met this woman got there was like oh not sure, by the end of the evening we like Siamese twins locked at the lips. The following day I was fucking her on her sofa, bed and in the bathroom. So patience is the word I am looking for!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had this happen, he looked exactly like his pics, we had chatted for ages through msgs before meeting and got on really well, but when we met at a pub for a drink it was like talking to 40yr old teenager he was obnoxious, I excused myself to use the loo and left. I know I was a coward but I was on my own and wasn't sure how he would react if I told him I was leaving so I snuck out!
You need a gentleman
Are you that Gentleman
Lol. Actions speak louder than any words.
Said like a true Gent...get your coat love you've pulled "
Ghandi whos pulled?  |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"I've had this happen, he looked exactly like his pics, we had chatted for ages through msgs before meeting and got on really well, but when we met at a pub for a drink it was like talking to 40yr old teenager he was obnoxious, I excused myself to use the loo and left. I know I was a coward but I was on my own and wasn't sure how he would react if I told him I was leaving so I snuck out!
You need a gentleman
Are you that Gentleman
Lol. Actions speak louder than any words.
Said like a true Gent...get your coat love you've pulled
Ghandi whos pulled? "
Sorry Ghandi's pulled what? When?  |
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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
This would lead nicely into the next thread of... Do you have an exit strategy in place for dates/socials that aren't going well? The baby sitter just rang, the budgies fainted in its cage, it looks like rain is coming... |
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