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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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You know, the spark. The frisson. That something with another person. Chemistry I guess.
Is it something you find quite easily? Do you need it to enjoy sex? What signs are there that you have it with another person?
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I now know this as primary attraction, I’m not denisexual but it’s definitely become less important in the last few years!
I think the signs are obvious on a date , loads of eye contact and little touches of hand, shoulder etc and the ease at which your flirt and and seduce , it’s so effortless and natural.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah chemistry.
Do i need it? Hell yeah. Sex is effort, making the time and stuff, unless you're giving me all the sparks it ain't happening.
Do I find it easy? Nope. I could count on one hand the amount of guys I've had it with. Maybe it's because I'm such a picky bitch, or I'm just a bitch.
I think there was a third question but I can't remember what.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Really all depends on the
On the person / persons and what sex they are
Ie for woman yes mostly what peaks my interest there is them showing interest
For couples not so much there has to be some but I understand I am gust so never want to infinge in they relationship so what I look for there is shared interest or something to chat about bween both off them so I don’t totally feel like a 3rd wheel
With guys none at all not really in to date guys so don’t need anything like shared interests or what ever
It’s a case off midless fun I use them they use me behind that that’s it ones the sex is completely over time to go not really in to them hang around that doesn’t mean that they can splat and run through rounds are a must but ones the rounds are done and what not yes time to go for them or me
For tv/ts not shour as I yet to explore that avenue yet |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I find it tricky to find, and I do need it to enjoy sex!
I find having a similar style of kissing is a good opening for it"
Yes, excuse this dire portmanteau but kisspatibility is very important (if you're into kissing). There are a myriad of reasons why it might not be quite there the first time you kiss but I think... anything that's important to you, you need to have that matched. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know, the spark. The frisson. That something with another person. Chemistry I guess.
Is it something you find quite easily? Do you need it to enjoy sex? What signs are there that you have it with another person?
"
A spark? Someone once said ‘lightning in a bottle’ and I relate to that when/if it happens.
It only will ever happen in person.
This online thing or ‘sextual relationship’is a laminated picture of who they are.
Face to face adds that X factor you can and will never be able to explain, and then everything they do just becomes complete, and the list for them burns bright. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"The thrill, thh tingle, the quiver, the shiver. It's rare but takes the experience to a new level  "
Such poetry! So early. I'm impressed. It really does heighten things, sometimes in a very unexpected way. |
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That spark is elusive..
I definitely need it to want to take it further with anyone, that skin tingling rush you get get when you kiss is electric and absolutely what I'm chasing..
But if it was easy to find would it be half as thrilling? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know, the spark. The frisson. That something with another person. Chemistry I guess.
[Quote]
That spark, frisson happens with another person on Fab. I enjoyed her company the first time we met, but the kiss as we were by our cars was electric.
[Quote]Is it something you find quite easily? Do you need it to enjoy sex? What signs are there that you have it with another person?
"
I am not sure that I found it easily, I feel really privileged that she responded.
The signs were obvious, the desire, the hunger, but then the comfortable companionship of lying naked talking to each other, of chatting having a meal, of walking round the house discussing everyday things.
I could be an addict. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I now know this as primary attraction, I’m not denisexual but it’s definitely become less important in the last few years!
I think the signs are obvious on a date , loads of eye contact and little touches of hand, shoulder etc and the ease at which your flirt and and seduce , it’s so effortless and natural.
"
So, if primary attraction is less important, secondary is more so? What's secondary to you?
Yes, that natural flow of things. I like that, it shouldn't feel too staged or forced. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know, the spark. The frisson. That something with another person. Chemistry I guess.
Is it something you find quite easily? Do you need it to enjoy sex? What signs are there that you have it with another person?
"
Nope. Which is why I pass on more than I take.
You know when it's there, the initial possibility, which grows over texts, then the phone calls and so on.
When you finally lay eyes on for the first time, yeah, I know immediately.
It's that glint in the eye, the cheeky smile. I'm very quick to see it and feel it.
As for ease, absolutely not. I'm a bloody nightmare, it takes a special kind of woman to put up with my brand of nonsense.
And do I need this connection, absolutely, I'm actually, a bowtie and cold crew coffee away from calling myself demi sexual or worse, sapiosexual. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
First, it's rarer than hen's teeth to find. That's probably a me problem.
Do I need it? No, but its like highly desirable and unlikely to get to the clothes removal stage with out it. Again, that's a me thing.
The signs, it's a series or sequence isn't it? It starts with conversation, how engaging is it? Does it sparkle? Are they interesting? That's a tricky one to categorise.
Physical attraction, of course I have to check them out. Then at some point the 'wonder what they're like in bed question floats through my mind. The spark is almost a static electrical charge when they're physically proximate. And you have to be aware of managing the space between you.
And then after all that if the oomph is present its a damn certainty the woman in question is married or on a relationship. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Ah chemistry.
Do i need it? Hell yeah. Sex is effort, making the time and stuff, unless you're giving me all the sparks it ain't happening.
Do I find it easy? Nope. I could count on one hand the amount of guys I've had it with. Maybe it's because I'm such a picky bitch, or I'm just a bitch.
I think there was a third question but I can't remember what.
"
I don't think you're picky or a bitch. Far from it. You either find it or you don't - it doesn't mean anything good or bad really. Well not in my mind. It's obvious when you have before so you're not completely dried up.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's that thing that makes you want more and more and more of someone. I kinda live for that. It's a bit lacking without it.
Its the thing that causes tingles when you get flashbacks or when you think about their mouth or hands on you.
I need that oomph in my life
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"You know, the spark. The frisson. That something with another person. Chemistry I guess.
Is it something you find quite easily? Do you need it to enjoy sex? What signs are there that you have it with another person?
"
I don't find it easily but I 100% need it to enjoy sex, I guess the signs would be attraction, being able to be comfortable around each other, have a laugh & generally enjoy their presence.
Mrs |
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It’s definitely not easy to find, although that’s part of what makes it special.
I don’t need it for sex, but I need it for good sex because what happens in my mind makes or breaks it. It can develop through sex though, because that’s a good way of seeing what someone is like.
Signs are in conversation, if there’s an easy, flirty back and forth. It’s fucking difficult with chat messages though; so much communication is non-verbal that lots is lost in just text.
Good question - it’s not something I give much thought to because it’s difficult to analyse your own behaviour! What are your thoughts, Meli? |
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You can have a fair idea but you definitely don't know if it's there until you meet in person. I do need it and it doesn't happen that often.
The signs are so hard to put into words as it's a feeling. And you just know.
J |
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"You know, the spark. The frisson. That something with another person. Chemistry I guess.
Is it something you find quite easily? Do you need it to enjoy sex? What signs are there that you have it with another person?
"
eye contact and good smile but most important a meeting of minds before bodies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know, the spark. The frisson. That something with another person. Chemistry I guess.
Is it something you find quite easily? Do you need it to enjoy sex? What signs are there that you have it with another person?
"
No and no! As for signs, you get indications by how easy conversation is, whether your sense of humour is shared but there’s no real way of knowing without meeting. Physical subtle responses or the look in their eyes and your responses, unheralded and unforced will tell you.
There’s no doubt for me that whilst it’s not needed, the more of it there is, the better the sex will be. Sometimes it’s something that builds over time with someone too.
If You have it with someone, hold onto it and them while it lasts |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Aww, I thought this was a thread about those little men off Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Blurry, tired, nightshift eyes."
Ha! I'm going to try and do one later about them. Need to work out how to incorporate it into a thread though.  |
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By *mber81Woman
over a year ago
Chorley, Eng |
"You know, the spark. The frisson. That something with another person. Chemistry I guess.
Is it something you find quite easily? Do you need it to enjoy sex? What signs are there that you have it with another person?
"
I need to believe the person is a good and decent person and to have a connection to have sex. The more of a connection the better the sex.
The spark. Now that is a rare form of connection. Wonderful, exciting, beautiful but rare. Even rarer is the spark that becomes a flame that then becomes a warm stable continuous fire. It takes time and a rare person that meets my desires and that I meet thiers. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Aww, I thought this was a thread about those little men off Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Blurry, tired, nightshift eyes.
Ha! I'm going to try and do one later about them. Need to work out how to incorporate it into a thread though. "
Oompa loompa ooomph. There's a tabloid headline in there somewhere |
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I can get little sparks from various people for various reasons. Personality, looks, a sense of humour, a glint of eye, accent, smell. Then it’s a case of are there enough sparks to ignite something more.
And then sometimes it’s just like throwing a firecracker into a bonfire. Boom. I like those ones the best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to play without needing that spark. But now I realise what I've been missing out on!
It definitely is a mind thing!
That sexy build up via messages before the meet is wonderful! And as others have said, eye contact and kissing not simply being just a kiss! Wow I've learned so much playing this way, it's so much more fulfilling |
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"You know, the spark. The frisson. That something with another person. Chemistry I guess.
Is it something you find quite easily? Do you need it to enjoy sex? What signs are there that you have it with another person?
"
Definitely need it, both of us.
It doesn’t come around all that often as we don’t particularly look for it but when we stumble upon it it’s absolutely electrifying 
The signs for us are similar sense of humour and a passion for music, cocktails, dancing and generally having a good laugh. |
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