FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > We hate it when our friends become successful
We hate it when our friends become successful
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I think you have it in a nutshell here Tom.
Leaving the 'professional' thong aside o have noticed that people enjoy tearing successful people down and constantly equate success with poor personality. The irony is lost on them |
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"We think success should be celebrated but haters will always hate."
For a supposedly friendly fraternity 'we' do like to rip others apart a lot of the time, with little justification other than unsubstantiated prejudices |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
It's not just professional though is it? It's physicality, education, how someone sounds...
It's that reverse snobbery that runs rife through here at times - heaven forbid someone is confident in some aspect of who they are, isn't constantly preaching self deprecation to make their existence more palatable to those around them. I'm not sure if it's a British thing - that constant need to crap over success and really downplay every feature and be hard on yourself. Like a shit version of humility.
Look, I think professional is slightly ridiculous on here; I can understand what the user is trying to say, I can even understand why it comes in for such derision to a certain extent.
The whole constantly tearing each other apart thing though rather than, you know, not being an utter dickwad and celebrating another's success? Fucking boring.
Ignoring it if it's causing you such turmoil that your eyes roll in their sockets is probably a good solution. |
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"It's not just professional though is it? It's physicality, education, how someone sounds...
It's that reverse snobbery that runs rife through here at times - heaven forbid someone is confident in some aspect of who they are, isn't constantly preaching self deprecation to make their existence more palatable to those around them. I'm not sure if it's a British thing - that constant need to crap over success and really downplay every feature and be hard on yourself. Like a shit version of humility.
Look, I think professional is slightly ridiculous on here; I can understand what the user is trying to say, I can even understand why it comes in for such derision to a certain extent.
The whole constantly tearing each other apart thing though rather than, you know, not being an utter dickwad and celebrating another's success? Fucking boring.
Ignoring it if it's causing you such turmoil that your eyes roll in their sockets is probably a good solution. "
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"It's not just professional though is it? It's physicality, education, how someone sounds...
It's that reverse snobbery that runs rife through here at times - heaven forbid someone is confident in some aspect of who they are, isn't constantly preaching self deprecation to make their existence more palatable to those around them. I'm not sure if it's a British thing - that constant need to crap over success and really downplay every feature and be hard on yourself. Like a shit version of humility.
Look, I think professional is slightly ridiculous on here; I can understand what the user is trying to say, I can even understand why it comes in for such derision to a certain extent.
The whole constantly tearing each other apart thing though rather than, you know, not being an utter dickwad and celebrating another's success? Fucking boring.
Ignoring it if it's causing you such turmoil that your eyes roll in their sockets is probably a good solution. "
What's happening today. Tom blink 3 times to let us know it's really you. Meli, divide up the truth bombs for greater impact. |
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Because the masses don't like the word professional, which implies a certain kind of job, which is usually firmly in the middle class bracket.
I'm aloud to call myself a big beautiful woman if I so wish. Without people calling me out for it even if it is subjective, but heaven forbid you call yourself a professional. Plus don't even think about saying you went to University to get said professional job, you'll get told you've got no common sense  |
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"
It's that reverse snobbery that runs rife through here at times - heaven forbid someone is confident in some aspect of who they are, isn't constantly preaching self deprecation to make their existence more palatable to those around them. I'm not sure if it's a British thing - that constant need to crap over success and really downplay every feature and be hard on yourself. Like a shit version of humility.
"
I think that sums it up.
I think it stems from a Victorian thing whereby it was considered ‘vulgar’ to promote your own success.
That has somehow morphed into the shaming of those who have achieved success/ bettered themselves. |
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"Because the masses don't like the word professional, which implies a certain kind of job, which is usually firmly in the middle class bracket.
I'm aloud to call myself a big beautiful woman if I so wish. Without people calling me out for it even if it is subjective, but heaven forbid you call yourself a professional. Plus don't even think about saying you went to University to get said professional job, you'll get told you've got no common sense "
Incredibly if you describe yourself as attractive you will be told you're one or all of the following, arrogant, big headed, up yourself, over confident, have a poor personality.
If you describe yourself as unattractive you will be told you're beautiful, should have more confidence, believe in yourself, have inner beauty yada, yada, yada.
The same goes for any kind of self description that implies good self esteem and self confidence.
I believe that a lot of people don't want to be involved with anyone who has high self esteem and self belief because it scares them. I also think they like to feel they're 'rescuing' people and it gives them an element of control.
Start a thread saying you feel awful about yourself and one saying you feel great about yourself and see which one did up with compliments the fastest  |
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"Surely, if you have a job that you get paid for, then you're a professional.
So they're basically saying, we have jobs.
Well whoop-di fucking do, don't we all.
"
No. Getting paid for what you do professionally is not the same as being 'A Professional' which is a list of recognised qualifications.
Very different |
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"Surely, if you have a job that you get paid for, then you're a professional.
So they're basically saying, we have jobs.
Well whoop-di fucking do, don't we all.
No. Getting paid for what you do professionally is not the same as being 'A Professional' which is a list of recognised qualifications.
Very different "
Rather than learn what it means, its easier to just throw some mud instead. |
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"Surely, if you have a job that you get paid for, then you're a professional.
So they're basically saying, we have jobs.
Well whoop-di fucking do, don't we all.
No. Getting paid for what you do professionally is not the same as being 'A Professional' which is a list of recognised qualifications.
Very different "
Is that your professional opinion  |
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"Because the masses don't like the word professional, which implies a certain kind of job, which is usually firmly in the middle class bracket.
I'm aloud to call myself a big beautiful woman if I so wish. Without people calling me out for it even if it is subjective, but heaven forbid you call yourself a professional. Plus don't even think about saying you went to University to get said professional job, you'll get told you've got no common sense
Incredibly if you describe yourself as attractive you will be told you're one or all of the following, arrogant, big headed, up yourself, over confident, have a poor personality.
If you describe yourself as unattractive you will be told you're beautiful, should have more confidence, believe in yourself, have inner beauty yada, yada, yada.
The same goes for any kind of self description that implies good self esteem and self confidence.
I believe that a lot of people don't want to be involved with anyone who has high self esteem and self belief because it scares them. I also think they like to feel they're 'rescuing' people and it gives them an element of control.
Start a thread saying you feel awful about yourself and one saying you feel great about yourself and see which one did up with compliments the fastest "
This is totally accurate unfortunately. Seems the majority want people to stick to where they are comfortable with them being at. |
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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago
for a penny |
"Surely, if you have a job that you get paid for, then you're a professional.
So they're basically saying, we have jobs.
Well whoop-di fucking do, don't we all.
"
Firstly, not everyone has a job.
Secondly, you know that Professional in this context means having achieved a certain status through education and lifestyle.
They are saying that this is how they are and want to meet people like them.
Why not.
You fall into the category much described here of wanting to denigrate them because you can’t come to terms with what you perceive to be your own failings. |
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"Surely, if you have a job that you get paid for, then you're a professional.
So they're basically saying, we have jobs.
Well whoop-di fucking do, don't we all.
No. Getting paid for what you do professionally is not the same as being 'A Professional' which is a list of recognised qualifications.
Very different
Is that your professional opinion "
Yes  It's also my very unprofessional opinion when it suits |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Surely, if you have a job that you get paid for, then you're a professional.
So they're basically saying, we have jobs.
Well whoop-di fucking do, don't we all.
Firstly, not everyone has a job.
Secondly, you know that Professional in this context means having achieved a certain status through education and lifestyle.
They are saying that this is how they are and want to meet people like them.
Why not.
You fall into the category much described here of wanting to denigrate them because you can’t come to terms with what you perceive to be your own failings. "
They use it because they think it sounds... Professional. Adds a bit of a hook to their profile.
It's a buzzword. It's no different than the Sydney university crap. Most won't ever know what they are referring to when they use it. |
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It's one of those things that some people stick their noses up at, and others see it as a positive. The irony of the fact that some think of themselves as so "of the people" as to be snobby about this isn't lost on me.
We have it on our profile because ideally we are looking to attract a certain sort of person. Someone who we can have a conversation with.
That doesn't mean that people who aren't professionals can't have a conversation, or necessarily that we are the best conversationalists in the whole world. What it means is that as people who have achieved a certain standard of education we are more likely; on average; to find a good personality match amongst those who have done the same, or who have the world view that such a thing is even beneficial.
It's not a hard limit, you don't need a post-grad to play with us, in fact I don't know that any of our regular playmates do.
It's not there to stop normal people messaging us; whether they are professional or not. It's to stop people who send messages in text speak from messaging us (imperfect as it may be)
And to those saying "what is a professional" that is either disingenuous or pure copium, or both. You know exactly what it is and what it isn't. |
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"Surely, if you have a job that you get paid for, then you're a professional.
So they're basically saying, we have jobs.
Well whoop-di fucking do, don't we all.
Firstly, not everyone has a job.
Secondly, you know that Professional in this context means having achieved a certain status through education and lifestyle.
They are saying that this is how they are and want to meet people like them.
Why not.
You fall into the category much described here of wanting to denigrate them because you can’t come to terms with what you perceive to be your own failings.
They use it because they think it sounds... Professional. Adds a bit of a hook to their profile.
It's a buzzword. It's no different than the Sydney university crap. Most won't ever know what they are referring to when they use it. "
Yeah. They do. |
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