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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And…he’s also a boy?
To a few people I’m out as a trans guy, I don’t want them to see me as anything else, and they knew from the beginning that I’m a trans guy / trans masculine
Well one of them has recently got cold feet and started saying that I’m forcing him to be gay because he didn’t know I was a man (yes, he knew I identify as trans masculine and that I still have a pussy and tits)
I don’t really have anything to say other than just to let it out; it’s so frustrating building something with someone and them turning round and doing that
Alas, there will be plenty more fish in the sea
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did he know you *first* as a woman or has it always been absolutely clear from the outset that you were a masculine presenting trans man?
Your second paragraph in the opening post seems to suggest the latter, be he seems to be suggesting the former if he’s now saying you’re forcing him to be gay (that would suggest that he thought he had a girlfriend initially not a boyfriend?)
We only have your side of the story and on the face of it, I can understand why you’re upset. However as we don’t know his side of the story, I can see a number of scenarios how he might be legitimately upset too.
Anyway, it’s best to know early if you’re incompatible with each other, and I wish you both all the best in your future relationships  |
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So sorry this has happened to you. It's easy to say they're not worth your time if they don't accept you as who you are, but that doesn't take away your upset and time you spent building any kind of relationship with them. Hopefully someone more accepting of who you are comes along soon and they can help you forget the way you've been treated by this person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe a frank conversation between you both. Sounds like he is confused by his feelings and it's difficult for him too?
Honesty from both of you is important as well as each being accepting of the others position.
Hope you work it out  |
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he’s an idiot. You’re not forcing him to do anything. Tell them that you are happy for who you are and you are never changing so if they don’t like it they can leave. Your own happiness is KEY. Your beautiful and own the world x Never ever CHANGE |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Did he know you *first* as a woman or has it always been absolutely clear from the outset that you were a masculine presenting trans man?
Your second paragraph in the opening post seems to suggest the latter, be he seems to be suggesting the former if he’s now saying you’re forcing him to be gay (that would suggest that he thought he had a girlfriend initially not a boyfriend?)
We only have your side of the story and on the face of it, I can understand why you’re upset. However as we don’t know his side of the story, I can see a number of scenarios how he might be legitimately upset too.
Anyway, it’s best to know early if you’re incompatible with each other, and I wish you both all the best in your future relationships "
He’s always known I’m a trans man; I’ve always been open with him that biologically I’m a female but I identify as transmasc, and he’s always been okay with it up until now, it’s like he’s suddenly flipped, idk
I’m letting him cool down and if he wants to come back he can, if he doesn’t want to that’s okay too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Did he know you *first* as a woman or has it always been absolutely clear from the outset that you were a masculine presenting trans man?
Your second paragraph in the opening post seems to suggest the latter, be he seems to be suggesting the former if he’s now saying you’re forcing him to be gay (that would suggest that he thought he had a girlfriend initially not a boyfriend?)
We only have your side of the story and on the face of it, I can understand why you’re upset. However as we don’t know his side of the story, I can see a number of scenarios how he might be legitimately upset too.
Anyway, it’s best to know early if you’re incompatible with each other, and I wish you both all the best in your future relationships
He’s always known I’m a trans man; I’ve always been open with him that biologically I’m a female but I identify as transmasc, and he’s always been okay with it up until now, it’s like he’s suddenly flipped, idk
I’m letting him cool down and if he wants to come back he can, if he doesn’t want to that’s okay too"
Sounds reasonable, give him space and see what happens. I hope it all works out for the best! Good luck |
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