FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Cancelling seeing someone.
Cancelling seeing someone.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners "
Yep this. Don't avoid any questions, don't hide from it. Just say it. Basic respect for another person. Pretty simple. |
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"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad? "
After the meeting was supposed to take place… about a week after
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ideal notice?
A day. "
But is that enough for the other person to make other plans if they want to?, whether that's another fab meet or just doing something non fab. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.
I'm not cancelling anything.
I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified! |
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"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners "
This.
The less notice there is, the bigger emergency I'd want it to be.
The person who didn't tell me until three hours after we were due to meet - had to drive a family member to hospital. Fine.
The person who told me two hours before we were due to meet because they couldn't be arsed - not fine. |
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By *ee04Man
over a year ago
Essex |
"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.
I'm not cancelling anything.
I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified! "
Let me know who they are all go and drug test them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad? "
When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER" |
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"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.
I'm not cancelling anything.
I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified! "
If someone I was planning to meet stopped communicating, I would consider the meet not to be happening, no matter what the time span after 24 hours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ideal notice?
A day.
But is that enough for the other person to make other plans if they want to?, whether that's another fab meet or just doing something non fab."
I’ve had someone postpone on me on the morning of a proposed late afternoon meet, the reasons were valid and we rearranged (and met) a fortnight later.
But you’re right, it was far too late for me to arrange anything else for that day.
However life happens - and they let me know asap (as far as I’m aware).
It would be frustrating if they knew for a couple of days in advance but hadn’t told me until the day.
What’s the ideal notice period to make new arrangements (which I guess is the crux of the question you’re asking!?) - well it’ll differ from person to person. As a male on here it’s much more difficult to create instant demand. A week would have been ideal or at least a few days  |
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"Ideal notice?
A day.
But is that enough for the other person to make other plans if they want to?, whether that's another fab meet or just doing something non fab."
It depends om the plans they want to make... if I get cancelled on a day before a meet I just go and do something else.
I wouldn't be able to get another fab meet at such short notice unless I was lucky.
But I could easily go and get some shopping and then have a wank in the evening (by the way that actually constitutes "having a plan" in my life, I'm very happy) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?
When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER""
What if they do exactly that to me?  ...oh I'm not liking this even more now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?
When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"
What if they do exactly that to me? ...oh I'm not liking this even more now."
That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.
If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.
I'm not cancelling anything.
I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified! "
Have you contacted them? Just wondering if not, maybe they are thinking the same? If you have and got no reply, I'd make other plans. Hope it gets sorted out  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ideal notice?
A day.
But is that enough for the other person to make other plans if they want to?, whether that's another fab meet or just doing something non fab.
I’ve had someone postpone on me on the morning of a proposed late afternoon meet, the reasons were valid and we rearranged (and met) a fortnight later.
But you’re right, it was far too late for me to arrange anything else for that day.
However life happens - and they let me know asap (as far as I’m aware).
It would be frustrating if they knew for a couple of days in advance but hadn’t told me until the day.
What’s the ideal notice period to make new arrangements (which I guess is the crux of the question you’re asking!?) - well it’ll differ from person to person. As a male on here it’s much more difficult to create instant demand. A week would have been ideal or at least a few days "
I think that is the crux of my question. My free time is limited, and I really don't like giving it to someone who then doesn't want it but won't say so. That's the part that gets me, I want know so I can make use of my time that I have.
I could book tickets to an exhibition but in the last 24 hours I may have no luck. So what is the ideal time? Surely 48 hours is good? |
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"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.
I'm not cancelling anything.
I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified!
If someone I was planning to meet stopped communicating, I would consider the meet not to be happening, no matter what the time span after 24 hours."
I would feel the same, many years experience tells me "probably a timewaster"  |
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"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.
I'm not cancelling anything.
I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified!
If someone I was planning to meet stopped communicating, I would consider the meet not to be happening, no matter what the time span after 24 hours."
Exactly this ^
And from my own experience, pretty much a given they won’t show up at this point. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?
When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"
What if they do exactly that to me? ...oh I'm not liking this even more now.
That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.
If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house."
Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!! |
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"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.
I'm not cancelling anything.
I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified!
If someone I was planning to meet stopped communicating, I would consider the meet not to be happening, no matter what the time span after 24 hours.
I would feel the same, many years experience tells me "probably a timewaster" "
Yup. If I haven't heard from you in the preceding 24 hours, unless you've told me there's a reason for it (we've been talking for months, we're meeting on Wednesday evening, and you tell me you have an EOD Wednesday deadline and you'll be offline Tuesday-Wednesday sort of thing), it's not happening. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad? "
If you know then leaving it for any length of time is bad, but waiting until the day of seeing them would be unforgivable. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
As soon as it's necessary or a decision has been made.
If just because you've changed your mind then it should be as soon as that happens, whether you give a full explanation or just simply say you've had second thoughts. It gives clarity and let's everyone know where they stand. It's not about ensuring they have time to make other plans and is more about being honest with yourself and them, whether it's a week ahead, a day, or a couple of hours.
If its short notice due to an emergency then as soon as you know.
People are entitled to cancel right up to the last minute, or even once you've arrived if you feel the need.
After a meet is probably too late.
A |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I've had people arrange a date then stop chatting for dats but expect me to be ready to meet them when they message the morning of the day we'd arranged.
If felt like once he knew he'd got me he didn't need to bother talking any more.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?
When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"
What if they do exactly that to me? ...oh I'm not liking this even more now.
That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.
If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.
Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!"
You mean you don't have one already? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.
I'm not cancelling anything.
I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified! "
The proof lays in the Actions,or lack of actions,
The net and profiles are merely an image you build up of a profile you expect to be in your very mind and otherwise.
One chance delete,Adios.
You seem very invested in thos Dates,why so?
Have you chatted with them before hand off fab. An actual conversation? That let to arrangeing the appointed meet time/ date?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?
When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"
What if they do exactly that to me? ...oh I'm not liking this even more now.
That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.
If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.
Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!
You mean you don't have one already?"
No!
Can I borrow yours please?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've had people arrange a date then stop chatting for dats but expect me to be ready to meet them when they message the morning of the day we'd arranged.
If felt like once he knew he'd got me he didn't need to bother talking any more.
"
The Fuckery boths ways is so real. Esp off the Net,apps etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?
When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"
What if they do exactly that to me? ...oh I'm not liking this even more now.
That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.
If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.
Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!
You mean you don't have one already?
No!
Can I borrow yours please? "
I've got so many. Take your pick. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?
When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"
What if they do exactly that to me? ...oh I'm not liking this even more now.
That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.
If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.
Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!
You mean you don't have one already?
No!
Can I borrow yours please?
I've got so many. Take your pick."
Perfect, thank you
I'll have that one right there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?
When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"
What if they do exactly that to me? ...oh I'm not liking this even more now.
That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.
If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.
Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!
You mean you don't have one already?
No!
Can I borrow yours please?
I've got so many. Take your pick.
Perfect, thank you
I'll have that one right there "
The baggy, old, ugly t-shirt?
The one I got from my work several years ago?
I know the one - with the curry stain. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?
When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"
What if they do exactly that to me? ...oh I'm not liking this even more now.
That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.
If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.
Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!
You mean you don't have one already?
No!
Can I borrow yours please?
I've got so many. Take your pick.
Perfect, thank you
I'll have that one right there
The baggy, old, ugly t-shirt?
The one I got from my work several years ago?
I know the one - with the curry stain."
You sure that's curry..... 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners "
Agree with this. I was in a situation where I was due to meet someone on a Saturday and on the Monday, I stared coming down with a cold but thought I could power through and be better in time for the meet so didn't tell her. Come Saturday, I was in bed all day and felt fucking awful that I let her down at the last minute. Luckily she gave me another chance but I was being a selfish bellend and definitely learned my lesson! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad?
When he's sat there in the coffee shop and you send him a picture that you've taken from outside with a laughing emoji and the caption "LOSER"
What if they do exactly that to me? ...oh I'm not liking this even more now.
That's the risk we all take. Every time we meet someone. We lay ourselves at the altar of ridicule.
If I'm honest, it's a miracle any of us leave the house.
Ok I'm going to go do an outing at the weekend instead and purchase a loser t shirt to wear for it!!
You mean you don't have one already?
No!
Can I borrow yours please?
I've got so many. Take your pick.
Perfect, thank you
I'll have that one right there
The baggy, old, ugly t-shirt?
The one I got from my work several years ago?
I know the one - with the curry stain.
You sure that's curry.....
A"
I think so. I was told the curry had cumin. |
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"As soon as you know you can't see them
And because it's good manners
Agreed.
But when does it get to a point wheres it's considered bad? "
Can depend if it's a social or an actual meet.
A social, less than 2 hours before, because I'll be ready and thinking of leaving the house.
For an actual meet... Same day? Because I'll have started getting ready the day before, if they're coming to mine I'll have been tidying up and changing the bed etc. Which is why I prefer hotels etc cos at least I haven't wasted time and energy (which is a bigger deal for me) |
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Spare time for couples and/or parents is hard won and if they have naughtiness on their mind, leaving a cancellation to the last minute is bad form. In general people programme their “playtime” around life so I think you should tell them as soon as you know you can’t make it or think you can’t make it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As soon as I know I can’t make it. They would know.
To make that clear, if I’ve not sent a cancellation (text or call) it means I’d still be making that appointment.
I guess sometimes someone might not be able to give advanced notice of a cancel, because of ALSORTS of reasons. Eg emergencies/cold feet. |
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If the experiences shared by the Forum are anything to go by there are those with good manners… (notify as soon as possible) and then those that simply ghost past the date and time of the meet only to pop up in messages 4 weeks later asking to meet… Absolute bellends. |
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By *rigbyMan
over a year ago
Skelmersdale |
I once met a woman outside a pub for a planned social ,got out of my car,she round her window down and I said hello nice to meet you
She wound the window back up and drove away.
That was a bit short notice and actually true |
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"If the experiences shared by the Forum are anything to go by there are those with good manners… (notify as soon as possible) and then those that simply ghost past the date and time of the meet only to pop up in messages 4 weeks later asking to meet… Absolute bellends. "
Also not forgetting the ghosters before a meet, who then post a veri from someone else for the same night...twunts  |
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"I once met a woman outside a pub for a planned social ,got out of my car,she round her window down and I said hello nice to meet you
She wound the window back up and drove away.
That was a bit short notice and actually true "
Did not you not have the axe behind your back . |
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"If the experiences shared by the Forum are anything to go by there are those with good manners… (notify as soon as possible) and then those that simply ghost past the date and time of the meet only to pop up in messages 4 weeks later asking to meet… Absolute bellends.
Also not forgetting the ghosters before a meet, who then post a veri from someone else for the same night...twunts "
Those utter bastards… I hope they got an STI |
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By *rigbyMan
over a year ago
Skelmersdale |
"I once met a woman outside a pub for a planned social ,got out of my car,she round her window down and I said hello nice to meet you
She wound the window back up and drove away.
That was a bit short notice and actually true
Did not you not have the axe behind your back ."
No,but I did have some flowers
 |
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"If the experiences shared by the Forum are anything to go by there are those with good manners… (notify as soon as possible) and then those that simply ghost past the date and time of the meet only to pop up in messages 4 weeks later asking to meet… Absolute bellends.
Also not forgetting the ghosters before a meet, who then post a veri from someone else for the same night...twunts
Those utter bastards… I hope they got an STI"
|
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By *empusMan
over a year ago
Poole |
"I love how everyone thinks I'm cancelling on a guy. Hilarious.
I'm not cancelling anything.
I've been let down a lot lately, so I'm wondering if not hearing anything when theres two days to go and being pissed at it is justified! "
Sounds cheesy and predictable I know... but I can’t imagine any circumstances in which I would let you down!
Ever seen that film 27 days...    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would always message as soon as we realise we can stick to the plans. Late notice is never good but I am sure some people have had emergency situations which has resulted in last minute cancellations. Being cancelled on is not nice for anyone x |
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