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The Penis Manual
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By *phialtesMan
over a year ago
Beyond the Wall |
Most people don’t understand how erections actually work.
.
A normal erection requires:
Strong blood flow into the erectile tissue
Healthy veins that compress to hold the blood in the erectile tissue
.
The cause of an erection is arousal, which stimulates the release of nitric oxide from nerve terminals and blood vessels. That increases the amount of blood that flows into the erectile tissue.
.
As the erectile tissue fills with blood, the veins that drain the blood out of the penis collapse. That prevents blood from leaving the erectile tissue and keeps the penis erect.
.
Veno-occlusive disease can affect the health of those veins so that they lose their ability to prevent the blood from leaving the penis. That makes it difficult to maintain an erection, no matter how well the blood flows into the erectile tissue. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
This proud careful owner would like it noted that the underside of the head is where the party is at.
And I'll take a pass on the teeth. I will make noise if you do but not in a pleasurable way. k? |
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If you’re uncut, you can create a fascinating, fully working, miniature swinging garden hammock by taking the foreskin (penis must be in a non angry state) between a thumb and forefinger and swinging it from side to side.
It’s both highly rewarding and very relaxing to. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Savour any cheese found on it. The most umami of all flavours.
FFS!
This reminds me of a guy that tasted like cheese sauce. "
I really don't know why you're yucking that. Bit of pasta and as well as sex you've got a good meal out of it. |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"Savour any cheese found on it. The most umami of all flavours.
FFS!
This reminds me of a guy that tasted like cheese sauce.
I really don't know why you're yucking that. Bit of pasta and as well as sex you've got a good meal out of it."
I mean, she still sucked it...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Savour any cheese found on it. The most umami of all flavours.
FFS!
This reminds me of a guy that tasted like cheese sauce.
I really don't know why you're yucking that. Bit of pasta and as well as sex you've got a good meal out of it."
Even came with little lumps.
I shouldn't complain I know. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Savour any cheese found on it. The most umami of all flavours.
FFS!
This reminds me of a guy that tasted like cheese sauce.
I really don't know why you're yucking that. Bit of pasta and as well as sex you've got a good meal out of it."
Don't forget the meat that she just bit off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Savour any cheese found on it. The most umami of all flavours.
FFS!
This reminds me of a guy that tasted like cheese sauce.
I really don't know why you're yucking that. Bit of pasta and as well as sex you've got a good meal out of it.
Don't forget the meat that she just bit off. "
He knows |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
"Savour any cheese found on it. The most umami of all flavours.
FFS!
This reminds me of a guy that tasted like cheese sauce.
I really don't know why you're yucking that. Bit of pasta and as well as sex you've got a good meal out of it.
Even came with little lumps.
I shouldn't complain I know."
I was just about to make myself cheese on toast, think I'll just have the toast!  |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Gentle wash only 
Some need Dettol and a wire brush 
As a jedi would say, those are not the penises you are looking for. Unless that's your thing.
Was that Episode 5.5, The Domme Strikes Back?! "
Check if it was a Disney or Dick Knead movie. |
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So armed with a trusty penis, one is also able to enjoy the highly rewarding pastime of urinating as far up a wall/tree/neighbours house as one can.
This pastime can also be used to settle heated disputes without resorting to unnecessary shouting and/or violence.
Whoever urinates the highest is clearly the winner and is obviously right in their viewpoint by default. |
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"So armed with a trusty penis, one is also able to enjoy the highly rewarding pastime of urinating as far up a wall/tree/neighbours house as one can.
This pastime can also be used to settle heated disputes without resorting to unnecessary shouting and/or violence.
Whoever urinates the highest is clearly the winner and is obviously right in their viewpoint by default."
I think you're pissing in the wind, my friend  |
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"So armed with a trusty penis, one is also able to enjoy the highly rewarding pastime of urinating as far up a wall/tree/neighbours house as one can.
This pastime can also be used to settle heated disputes without resorting to unnecessary shouting and/or violence.
Whoever urinates the highest is clearly the winner and is obviously right in their viewpoint by default.
I think you're pissing in the wind, my friend "
Ahhh yes! Another essential tip right there; urinating into an oncoming, gale force wind is never going to end well….
Unless you happen to be Chuck Norris, of course  |
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"So armed with a trusty penis, one is also able to enjoy the highly rewarding pastime of urinating as far up a wall/tree/neighbours house as one can.
This pastime can also be used to settle heated disputes without resorting to unnecessary shouting and/or violence.
Whoever urinates the highest is clearly the winner and is obviously right in their viewpoint by default.
I think you're pissing in the wind, my friend
Ahhh yes! Another essential tip right there; urinating into an oncoming, gale force wind is never going to end well….
Unless you happen to be Chuck Norris, of course "
It's okay if it's squirt  |
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The joy of erections.
Have you ever observed - I mean REALLY observed, how the mast goes up?
It’s not usually an instant bolt upright salute if you study it closely; rather more a series of mini twitches that lull and raise the sleeping beast to its full glory.
Absolutely fascinating…
|
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"The joy of erections.
Have you ever observed - I mean REALLY observed, how the mast goes up?
It’s not usually an instant bolt upright salute if you study it closely; rather more a series of mini twitches that lull and raise the sleeping beast to its full glory.
Absolutely fascinating…
"
I did this today! The ladies in the library were not amused. Don’t have the internet there, then!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ever played Bop It?
Oooooooo can we hit them with a hammer?!
Remember that scene from the walking dead with Negan and Lucille? "
What's the matter with you people? That's not how you play bop it! |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"The joy of erections.
Have you ever observed - I mean REALLY observed, how the mast goes up?
It’s not usually an instant bolt upright salute if you study it closely; rather more a series of mini twitches that lull and raise the sleeping beast to its full glory.
Absolutely fascinating…
Maybe I should do a video or time lapse
"
|
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"The joy of erections.
Have you ever observed - I mean REALLY observed, how the mast goes up?
It’s not usually an instant bolt upright salute if you study it closely; rather more a series of mini twitches that lull and raise the sleeping beast to its full glory.
Absolutely fascinating…
I did this today! The ladies in the library were not amused. Don’t have the internet there, then!! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ever played Bop It?
Oooooooo can we hit them with a hammer?!
Remember that scene from the walking dead with Negan and Lucille?
What's the matter with you people? That's not how you play bop it! "
It's the extreme version.
|
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"The joy of erections.
Have you ever observed - I mean REALLY observed, how the mast goes up?
It’s not usually an instant bolt upright salute if you study it closely; rather more a series of mini twitches that lull and raise the sleeping beast to its full glory.
Absolutely fascinating…
Maybe I should do a video or time lapse
"
Nick Park would be proud
The footage could also be set to some delightful music such as Vaughan Williams’, The Lark Ascending for that added artistic flourish…. |
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Did you know that penis bearers typically experience 3 to 5 erections every night, mostly during REM sleep? This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as, nocturnal penile tumescence.
It’s also probably very nice.
….but I was asleep at the time so can’t be sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ever played Bop It?
Oooooooo can we hit them with a hammer?!
Remember that scene from the walking dead with Negan and Lucille?
What's the matter with you people? That's not how you play bop it!
It's the extreme version.
"
Would I at least get a safe word? |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Did you know that the glans contains around 4,000 nerve endings? As a result, it is highly sensitive and very much enjoys attention…
I mean, it REALLY loves it "
Compared to the 8000-10000 nerve endings in the clitoris |
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"Ever played Bop It?
Oooooooo can we hit them with a hammer?!
Remember that scene from the walking dead with Negan and Lucille?
What's the matter with you people? That's not how you play bop it!
It's the extreme version.
"
We could formalise the rules of Extreme Bop-it |
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By *929Man
over a year ago
newcastle |
Prior to posting photos of it on fab swingers have a friend or loved one intensely squeeze, twist and administer Chinese burns to it till it’s extra red, I have it on good authority women love it when it’s a bright reddish purple hue |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Ever played Bop It?
Oooooooo can we hit them with a hammer?!
Remember that scene from the walking dead with Negan and Lucille?
What's the matter with you people? That's not how you play bop it!
It's the extreme version.
We could formalise the rules of Extreme Bop-it "
Maybe hold off on proposing it as an olympic event for a while. |
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"Ever played Bop It?
Oooooooo can we hit them with a hammer?!
Remember that scene from the walking dead with Negan and Lucille?
What's the matter with you people? That's not how you play bop it!
It's the extreme version.
We could formalise the rules of Extreme Bop-it
Maybe hold off on proposing it as an olympic event for a while. "
I'm Paralympics |
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"Apparently, the average number of times a penis owner will ejaculate from masturbation in a lifetime is around 2,000.
Um….is it just me or does that sound highly inaccurate?
I mean…..ONLY 2,000?! "
Crikey. That means I completed my whole life in Q1 this year. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Apparently, the average number of times a penis owner will ejaculate from masturbation in a lifetime is around 2,000.
Um….is it just me or does that sound highly inaccurate?
I mean…..ONLY 2,000?! "
Somebody is skewing the average downwards.
That's a average of one a week for 38.4 years |
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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
"Apparently, the average number of times a penis owner will ejaculate from masturbation in a lifetime is around 2,000.
Um….is it just me or does that sound highly inaccurate?
I mean…..ONLY 2,000?!
Somebody is skewing the average downwards.
That's a average of one a week for 38.4 years"
I'm sure I know some guys that have 38.4 a week. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Apparently, the average number of times a penis owner will ejaculate from masturbation in a lifetime is around 2,000.
Um….is it just me or does that sound highly inaccurate?
I mean…..ONLY 2,000?!
Somebody is skewing the average downwards.
That's a average of one a week for 38.4 years
I'm sure I know some guys that have 38.4 a week. "
It's probably like alcohol units, they're not being truthful. |
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You must keep a eye on it at all times and be aware of any changes in mood and appearance. Regular attention is needed and must never be kept waiting when feeling hungry because they're very short tempered |
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Penile bouncing: This is a tremendously fun and relaxing pastime.
Simply slip a hand down your pants and bounce the old flaccid chap up and down with your fingertips.
Guaranteed to make you feel on top of the world.
…..until the store security turn up and march you off the premises.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Suck it like it's your last meal... it likes wet, sloppy dark places.
Also gently tug down on the balls for a few seconds as he's about the cum. Amazing!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Suck it like it's your last meal... it likes wet, sloppy dark places.
Also gently tug down on the balls for a few seconds as he's about the cum. Amazing!!!!"
I'd gnaw on my last meal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Suck it like it's your last meal... it likes wet, sloppy dark places.
Also gently tug down on the balls for a few seconds as he's about the cum. Amazing!!!!
I'd gnaw on my last meal."
Haha what goes around comes around hope your Clit isn't too sensitive! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Suck it like it's your last meal... it likes wet, sloppy dark places.
Also gently tug down on the balls for a few seconds as he's about the cum. Amazing!!!!
I'd gnaw on my last meal.
Haha what goes around comes around hope your Clit isn't too sensitive! "
If you can find it amongst all the hair crack on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Suck it like it's your last meal... it likes wet, sloppy dark places.
Also gently tug down on the balls for a few seconds as he's about the cum. Amazing!!!!
I'd gnaw on my last meal.
Haha what goes around comes around hope your Clit isn't too sensitive!
If you can find it amongst all the hair crack on. "
I'd find it or die trying |
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