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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have seen advice to others to have a plan B or backup in place when arranging a meet. Then if plan A is a no go, plan B steps up.
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Sounds good advice BUT how would you respond if someone agreed to meet you but told you that you were the backup in case of a no show. Would you agree to be the plan B? |
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"I have seen advice to others to have a plan B or backup in place when arranging a meet. Then if plan A is a no go, plan B steps up.
.
Sounds good advice BUT how would you respond if someone agreed to meet you but told you that you were the backup in case of a no show. Would you agree to be the plan B? "
Depends on who it was,i don't mind sloppy seconds |
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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago
west midlands |
No I wouldn't like that at all. And I think for me a plan B would be a pampering day or going out somewhere, I wouldn't treat anyone as a plan B if I had a meet and it fell through. |
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Oh I'd never do that. I don't need someone's life to revolve around me but at the same time I'm nobody's back-up plan.
Likewise if I suspect a plan B will be needed then I wouldn't carry on with plan A. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
No as I said on another thread I was suspicious with one guy that I was his plan b and he went quiet leading up to the meet and I cancelled it the night before. He then contacted me an hour after we were meant to meet asking was I still up for meeting and I asked did his other meet not turn up he admitted he was ghosted. I didn't meet him.
I've no interest in being plan b for anyone they either want to meet me or they don't. But I won't be a back up option for anyone . |
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"I have seen advice to others to have a plan B or backup in place when arranging a meet. Then if plan A is a no go, plan B steps up.
.
Sounds good advice BUT how would you respond if someone agreed to meet you but told you that you were the backup in case of a no show. Would you agree to be the plan B? "
That advice is usually given to single women and sometimes couples, not often to single men who are quite often the back up |
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By *ee04Man
over a year ago
Essex |
Have to be honest some of my best hook ups have been a plan B. They weren’t set up that way just happened when plan A went awry.
The best was I had arranged to meet I drove the 25 miles and then the dreaded radio silence. I was pissed off so went back on fab, within 10 mins found a couple local to where I was. They invited me round had a great time and went back on a regular basis until COVID. Not seen them back since. |
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"I have seen advice to others to have a plan B or backup in place when arranging a meet. Then if plan A is a no go, plan B steps up.
.
Sounds good advice BUT how would you respond if someone agreed to meet you but told you that you were the backup in case of a no show. Would you agree to be the plan B? "
My plan B’s are always go to a club/sauna/bar and see what develops. They don’t include having a second person sitting, waiting for a phone call if ‘Plan A ‘ falls through |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A plan B should be based on location/situation not people eg have an alternative activity not treat someone as a back up.
And something about the Defamation of Strickland Banks. |
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"I have seen advice to others to have a plan B or backup in place when arranging a meet. Then if plan A is a no go, plan B steps up.
.
Sounds good advice BUT how would you respond if someone agreed to meet you but told you that you were the backup in case of a no show. Would you agree to be the plan B? "
If I had even the slightest inkling I was a Plan B, I’d tell them to ram it. I’m no one’s Plan B.
The only back up I would have for a meet is to do something for myself ie a day out somewhere or pop to see family/friends (if they’re the kind with whom I can just pop round for a cuppa). |
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"Have to be honest some of my best hook ups have been a plan B. They weren’t set up that way just happened when plan A went awry.
The best was I had arranged to meet I drove the 25 miles and then the dreaded radio silence. I was pissed off so went back on fab, within 10 mins found a couple local to where I was. They invited me round had a great time and went back on a regular basis until COVID. Not seen them back since. "
I did have a situation where I'd been messaging someone for a while. I went for a social with someone else, got stood up, got a message from the first bloke saying he was thinking about me as he was in my area and during our chat I told him what had happened.
Turned out he was sitting outside the same coffee shop that I was in. He came in, we had a great laugh and have met up a few times since.
I think it's a bit different when you've arranged someone as a plan B. It feels colder to me somehow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have seen advice to others to have a plan B or backup in place when arranging a meet. Then if plan A is a no go, plan B steps up.
.
Sounds good advice BUT how would you respond if someone agreed to meet you but told you that you were the backup in case of a no show. Would you agree to be the plan B? "
Mmm. 
I don’t know. Depends who, what mood I’m in, what would we be doing etc…
Maybe, but probably not. I’d hate to think I wasn’t their first option.
And here’s the catch, I’d rather not be told, but if I found out later, that they didn’t tell me, that’s worse.  |
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I never have a Plan B.
I give my full undivided attention to Plan A exclusively when it comes to meets.
I don't treat others as second best or an afterthought, and nor do I wish to be treated so.
In all my time on Fab I've never been in a situation where I was left feeling that I should have had some form of backup. |
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By *phialtesMan
over a year ago
Beyond the Wall |
If I suggest someone have a plan B, I mean that they should have something else planned to fill their time not someone else.
That could be, go to the pub, go shopping, watch TV etc.
I would never agree that people should have a person set up as a Plan B, unless that person is well aware and agrees to be a Plan B, such as when your friends say that if he/she bails comes round and we can do something. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not something I would do.
I spent far too long being the second choice or just an option.
I won't do that again.
If I'm with someone I want to make them feel special, valued and like they have my full attention, even if only a social. I'd expect the same x |
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I get why couples and women pursue a number of possibilities for a meet because of how flakey people can be. Yeah, it doesn’t feel great to be a plan B but it feels worse to be ghosted at the last minute, especially if you’re making arrangements / sacrifices to be able to attend this ‘meet’.
But the fucking cheek of it when they contact you four weeks later for a meet and ask you to pay for a hotel in their area 
Jog on you twats |
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Not a plan B as such but we usually have the whole weekend in a hotel with a social meet on both days which could lead into a potential meets in the night time if things go well for all and everyone is happy. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"I have seen advice to others to have a plan B or backup in place when arranging a meet. Then if plan A is a no go, plan B steps up.
.
Sounds good advice BUT how would you respond if someone agreed to meet you but told you that you were the backup in case of a no show. Would you agree to be the plan B? "
and you'd have music sorted too with plan B  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve never had a plan B. If something happened that meant we could no longer meet I’d just do something else with my time instead.
If I found out I was their second choice and they only wanted to meet me because they got let down I’d be pissed off. That’s such an insult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely not.
But with one disclaimer if the situation came about I happened to be free and a partner had plans that fell through. But otherwise, fuck that... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely not.
But with one disclaimer if the situation came about I happened to be free and a partner had plans that fell through. But otherwise, fuck that..."
So......a plan b? |
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"It's not something I would do.
I spent far too long being the second choice or just an option.
I won't do that again.
If I'm with someone I want to make them feel special, valued and like they have my full attention, even if only a social. I'd expect the same x"
Same here although I only spent 8 months being the second choice
Never getting in that situation again. It's horrible and I'd never do that to someone else. If I'm not their first choice then I'm not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely not.
But with one disclaimer if the situation came about I happened to be free and a partner had plans that fell through. But otherwise, fuck that...
So......a plan b?"
Well no... because there's no plan. It's just if things happen to coincide. |
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This would apply if I was single of course, but if I was attracted to then I'd just go for it and try and make her experience so good that she'll make me no. 1 choice next time.
I'm not going to be first choice for many. I don't take that as an insult if she would actually enjoy getting together with me. If she made me feel like shit about it I we probably wouldn't have got that far anyway. Luke |
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I suspect I’ve been Plan B before now but either half called it and cancelled when I get bad vibes or accepted a crap excuse for a late cancellation.
Having a back up / side dick isn’t really my style. If I’ve arranged a meet and it’s cancelled I just find something else to do rather than someone else  |
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We have to have a backup plan, we pay good money for our hotels, babysitter etc, we don't have much time so its precious to us, if someone can't make it for a reason it's going to be bad news and a wasted weekend that's why we try and get more than one meet at a weekend.
Nobody is asked to meet and doesn't get a meet, it's just we have two chances of meeting on the same weekend, so the odds of being let down by both is pretty slim. |
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"Be a Choice , Not an Option 
I don’t even want to be that. If I found out I was part of a choice there’d no longer be a choice. Rather they chose the other one "
I meant as in be THE Choice not an option , I wouldn't be a 2nd option for an evening... Any other night do what you like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you wonder if this is why so many people cancel?
You were one of their CHOICES/PLANS and their PREFERRED choice happened ?
I wonder how many actualy organise many meets for the same time just to make sure they get some action? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I'd rather not. I don't think it will be very fulfilling in all honesty. I'd rather not be someone's option as another poster said above. I'm either the choice or I'm not.
That being said, there's one person I wouldn't mind too much if they got in touch and said "oh my plans fell through, fancy a fuck?".
That's a bit different though isn't it? :D |
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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago
moon base zero |
"Oh I'd never do that. I don't need someone's life to revolve around me but at the same time I'm nobody's back-up plan.
Likewise if I suspect a plan B will be needed then I wouldn't carry on with plan A."
You would be my plan.A to Z x |
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"I often feel like guys make loose arrangements with me in case somebody easier, more convenient or more attractive comes along  "
I'm sure there plenty would want to make firm arrangements with you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have seen advice to others to have a plan B or backup in place when arranging a meet. Then if plan A is a no go, plan B steps up.
.
Sounds good advice BUT how would you respond if someone agreed to meet you but told you that you were the backup in case of a no show. Would you agree to be the plan B? "
It's bad form honestly.
No one wants to feel like a super sub or back up.
Though some will happily do it, if it means they get their fix.
I doubt they'd like to know that though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't be plan A or B in that situation.
I always have a plan B but it's never a person. "
This in fairness. Do you want to meet a person who operates this system at all?
Plan B constitutes a museum nearby, checking out a new coffee shop etc. So day doesn't go to waste
T |
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"No I wouldn't like that at all. And I think for me a plan B would be a pampering day or going out somewhere, I wouldn't treat anyone as a plan B if I had a meet and it fell through."
Yep, to me, that's Plan B. |
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I've been a plan B twice in my time here and it's a shitty way to treat anyone.
I totally understand visiting someplace if plans don't work out but having a backup meet just says you weren't worth meeting in the first place.
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I would under one circumstance only.
I have friend A. They live locally. On Saturday night, A is due to meet B and I'm due to meet C. If B and C flake, I'll meet A. But A and I have been friends for a long time and it's just another potential chance to meet, not putting them second. |
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