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How do you get a man out of your house
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman
over a year ago
East London |
He's been camping out in my bathroom for weeks and keeps watching me shower.
I think he's laughing at me standing at the other end of the bath trying to wash myself with one hand, and wash my hair with the shower head between my legs.
I know he's waiting for me to run a bath and start shaving my legs, so he can jump in and float into me.
I think I might move house.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Burn the house down!
Its the only way
Thought of that but I live in a semi-detached and the neighbours house might go up too.
Can I move in with you, Jen? "
What, and have a trannie watch you shower and try to get in you when you bath? |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman
over a year ago
East London |
"Burn the house down!
Its the only way
Thought of that but I live in a semi-detached and the neighbours house might go up too.
Can I move in with you, Jen?
What, and have a trannie watch you shower and try to get in you when you bath? "
You're not a spider are you.
That's good enough for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get him annual cinema membership. Works for Miles. Shhhh...
Oh, does he stare at you while you shower too?"
I don't dare to use his bathroom in case I put the bottle down facing the wrong way 
T
T |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman
over a year ago
East London |
"It’s Mr Matey isn’t it?
Is that still a thing? Used to be all the rage in the 80s (when only Sunday was bath night  )
FFS Dan ..... that's who I meant. I knew soapy didn't sound right!"
It's still sold in Home Bargains.
I might buy a bottle and hit him with it.
I won't go to heaven but I'll bathe in peace. |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman
over a year ago
East London |
"Get him annual cinema membership. Works for Miles. Shhhh...
Oh, does he stare at you while you shower too?
I don't dare to use his bathroom in case I put the bottle down facing the wrong way
T
T"
Does he arrange all your tins and spices in alphabetical order? |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman
over a year ago
East London |
"It’s Mr Matey isn’t it?
Is that still a thing? Used to be all the rage in the 80s (when only Sunday was bath night )
What's Mr Matey? I could Google but effort."
You never had a Mr Matey bath?
My kids loved it and they brought out a couple of other characters. |
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"It’s Mr Matey isn’t it?
Is that still a thing? Used to be all the rage in the 80s (when only Sunday was bath night )
What's Mr Matey? I could Google but effort."
Meli , Mr. Matey is a bottle of bubble bath .... it was a thing years ago. |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman
over a year ago
East London |
"It’s Mr Matey isn’t it?
Is that still a thing? Used to be all the rage in the 80s (when only Sunday was bath night )
What's Mr Matey? I could Google but effort.
Meli , Mr. Matey is a bottle of bubble bath .... it was a thing years ago."
A BIG thing, Granny.
Maybe she was too young to remember.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this serious? Concern if true is how come someone camping out in bathroom. Is it your house?"
(*whispers* I think she's talking about a spider)
Shhhh |
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I have had one in my kitchen for a couple of weeks watching me washing the dishes, had to temporarily re home him at the weekend as the visiting grandkids would have put him on the floor and jumped on him.
He is back on the draining board now.  |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman
over a year ago
East London |
"Put a cup over him, slide a piece of paper underneath him then throw him out of the window.
B"
That means being brave, and I'm not brave.
The paper might fall, or he might crawl out from a little crack between the paper and cup, or he might fly back in the window when I throw him out.
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman
over a year ago
East London |
"I have had one in my kitchen for a couple of weeks watching me washing the dishes, had to temporarily re home him at the weekend as the visiting grandkids would have put him on the floor and jumped on him.
He is back on the draining board now. "
May I borrow your grandkids?
I'm hoping my grandson isn't scared of them and will remove him tomorrow  |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman
over a year ago
East London |
"Just for Meli
https://youtu.be/OpG5-Nc2G_I
Thank you! I feel like I missed out on a fun part of childhood now though. "
No one talks about the folliculitis it caused, because it meant we didn't have to scrub our children or bath |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"It’s Mr Matey isn’t it?
Is that still a thing? Used to be all the rage in the 80s (when only Sunday was bath night )
What's Mr Matey? I could Google but effort."
Meli! I know you don't like it, but I am truely disappointed that you don't know of this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you tried asking him to help out around the house?
I'll give him a sponge and ask him to wash my back, shall I?"
He’ll be off to the pub quicker than you can say ‘spider’ |
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"He's been camping out in my bathroom for weeks and keeps watching me shower.
I think he's laughing at me standing at the other end of the bath trying to wash myself with one hand, and wash my hair with the shower head between my legs.
I know he's waiting for me to run a bath and start shaving my legs, so he can jump in and float into me.
I think I might move house.
"
I name them and leave them too it. I consider service against flies as a rent payment. |
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By *ad Nanna OP Woman
over a year ago
East London |
"He's been camping out in my bathroom for weeks and keeps watching me shower.
I think he's laughing at me standing at the other end of the bath trying to wash myself with one hand, and wash my hair with the shower head between my legs.
I know he's waiting for me to run a bath and start shaving my legs, so he can jump in and float into me.
I think I might move house.
I name them and leave them too it. I consider service against flies as a rent payment."
I'm trying to, but he's making a stand right above the tap, next to the shower head.
He's covering two bases and waiting for the right moment drop onto my hand. |
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