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Would you date poly?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Are you poly? Would you date someone that is poly?

I’d love to hear thoughts on this.

My thoughts: I think I wouldn’t get involved with anyone that’s not poly anymore but I’d love to hear perspectives from the other side. I think mono/ poly relationships are really difficult and I’m guilty of being not the easiest partner to a mono person in the past.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Shout out to Meli, Compersion and Lacey. And any other poly forumites that I don’t know

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Travelling

On the surface yes.

Deep down, no I don't think it would work long term or permanently

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman over a year ago

your head

I probably wouldn't date people that aren't poly anymore, I've tried in the past and it's not easy. Some just don't understand.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like the idea of it but I don't think I have the mental energy for two partners, it's hard work.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

"Shout out to Meli, Compersion and Lacey. And any other poly forumites that I don’t know "

Oi! You forgot me! Tsk.

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By *ezebel100Woman over a year ago

Birmingham

One partner is challenging can't imagine coping with two

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By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I tend to have poly fwb's and mono fb as they find it hard, that I can have deep emotional romantic feelings, for more than one man at the same time.

Saying that I don't think I'd ever change from being solo poly, I'm not looking for any nesting partners and don't wish to share family life with them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/06/23 17:09:35]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am and I do.

I wouldn't now date anyone that wasn't poly. I don't think it can work in the long term... But maybe there is is examples of it working?

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By *oggoneMan over a year ago

Derry

Short reply: no

Longer version: I wouldn't have the emotional resilience or mental fortitude.

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By *asty tatsyMan over a year ago

london

Who is this poly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like to think I'd be open to it but I know if I was getting into an actual relationship, my heart wouldn't cope with it

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By * and R cple4Couple over a year ago

swansea

I class myself as emotionally monogamous I can separate sex and emotion .We like to build friendships but that’s as far as it goes.

If I’m honest I’m probably to selfish to be poly sharing my husband sexually is something that I love doing but I couldn’t even contemplate sharing him emotionally..

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple over a year ago

Southampton

I myself am not poly, but I'm not averse to trying

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple over a year ago

Southampton

"Who is this poly

Polygrip... for your dentures lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m poly

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By *rHotNottsMan over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I have tried dating non poly women and it’s hard. Even if they are happy with the non-exclusive part they don’t get it.

What I like about dating poly women is it kind of never ends, friend for life.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No,I'm too insecure to cope with that.

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By *oco_marsWoman over a year ago

Stockport

Yep!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

I'm enm rather than poly but I'm not sure I could do monogamy any more. there's too much of me for just one man!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Shout out to Meli, Compersion and Lacey. And any other poly forumites that I don’t know

Oi! You forgot me! Tsk. "

Yes my solo poly queen. Though you told me you weren’t sure

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have tried dating non poly women and it’s hard. Even if they are happy with the non-exclusive part they don’t get it.

What I like about dating poly women is it kind of never ends, friend for life."

YES. Literally this

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By *astesLikeMagicWoman over a year ago

Newcastle

I'm not poly and wouldn't get involved in anything serious with someone poly.

Relationships are difficult indeed and require a lot of work and effort. Adding more relationships adds more difficulty!

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS over a year ago

Stockport

"Who is this poly

Me! Me! I'm Polly!!

Very disappointed at the people that say they won't date Polly

Thank you to Meli, Compersion, Lacey, Estella, LittlemissmistressK, Coco_mars - is it going to be one big date all together, or a series of individual Polly dates? I'll get my diary out. Xxx

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

Yep, I'm poly. I also like the naming because it's reminded me to get in touch with Lacey about an outfit for something!

Would I date someone who is? Well I'm actively looking to not date date anyone currently. Happy going on dates, really enjoying that. So yes, poly, mono doesn't really affect that as long as they can accept I am.

I've felt more desired, respected and accepted for all of me right now by someone who is monogamous than I have done previously at times with poly folk. I think sometimes poly folk can fall into the belief that there's one true way of being poly at times. Like the angry rants on reddit.

In the future? Who knows. I'm open to it. I'm rather enjoying being a bit footloose, rediscovering me and exploring things that are so... intoxicating to really think about if I'd seriously date again.

Tl;dr? Possibly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would, I love the freedom but people seem to think poly means you can just fuck when you want.

It’s not the case, dating poly is more like dating normally but not exclusive to one person, the sex can happen and the sex cannot happen. It’s not a rubber stamp to just get your hole.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No such thing as a Poly

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By *amierebelMan over a year ago

nae danger.

I wouldn't date in any sense these days sort of stuck in my ways on that front

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

No I wouldn't. Several reasons for that the main one being that if I was dating again I'd want a cards on the table chat up front, if from that it emerged that we were fundamentally different in our approach to relationships I wouldn't take it further. I emotionally monogamous it wouldn't be fair on them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

After having a little experience for about 6 months, I definitely would try it again, I'd just do it a little different next time

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

"Shout out to Meli, Compersion and Lacey. And any other poly forumites that I don’t know

Oi! You forgot me! Tsk.

Yes my solo poly queen. Though you told me you weren’t sure

I said I term it relationship anarchist, rather than poly as I never know which poly set up people are referring to otherwise, not that I was unsure about my approach per se.

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple over a year ago

Southampton

"Who is this poly

Me! Me! I'm Polly!!

Very disappointed at the people that say they won't date Polly

Thank you to Meli, Compersion, Lacey, Estella, LittlemissmistressK, Coco_mars - is it going to be one big date all together, or a series of individual Polly dates? I'll get my diary out. Xxx"

Ooh sounds fun count Me in lol

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By *otbeefandonionsCouple over a year ago

Bathgate

"I class myself as emotionally monogamous I can separate sex and emotion .We like to build friendships but that’s as far as it goes.

If I’m honest I’m probably to selfish to be poly sharing my husband sexually is something that I love doing but I couldn’t even contemplate sharing him emotionally.."

Beautifully put and exactly how I feel

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By *ovetolick78Man over a year ago

The Shire

I can't get 1 to stay with me let alone 2.

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"Shout out to Meli, Compersion and Lacey. And any other poly forumites that I don’t know

Oi! You forgot me! Tsk.

Yes my solo poly queen. Though you told me you weren’t sure

I said I term it relationship anarchist, rather than poly as I never know which poly set up people are referring to otherwise, not that I was unsure about my approach per se.

Oh relationship anarchy! I remember our discussions on this.

Love this so much. Yes, I have platonic friends who mean just as much to me as less so. My relationships are far from traditional or conventional but I hold them very dear for whatever form they take.

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

"Who is this poly

Me! Me! I'm Polly!!

Very disappointed at the people that say they won't date Polly

Thank you to Meli, Compersion, Lacey, Estella, LittlemissmistressK, Coco_mars - is it going to be one big date all together, or a series of individual Polly dates? I'll get my diary out. Xxx"

ANYTIME. X

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

"Shout out to Meli, Compersion and Lacey. And any other poly forumites that I don’t know

Oi! You forgot me! Tsk.

Yes my solo poly queen. Though you told me you weren’t sure

I said I term it relationship anarchist, rather than poly as I never know which poly set up people are referring to otherwise, not that I was unsure about my approach per se.

Oh relationship anarchy! I remember our discussions on this.

I just love to love, be loved, have sex, and/or laughs. I love my people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Define poly.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I am, and I don't get entangled with anyone who isn't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No. Not anymore. I want to be someone’s ‘whole’ and them to be my ‘whole’. I suppose I wouldn’t want anyone else’s hole….

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By *ellinever70Woman over a year ago

Ayrshire

I'm not

And I wouldn't date someone who is

Based purely on observation, poly relationships appear quite complicated

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Who is this poly

Me! Me! I'm Polly!!

Very disappointed at the people that say they won't date Polly

Thank you to Meli, Compersion, Lacey, Estella, LittlemissmistressK, Coco_mars - is it going to be one big date all together, or a series of individual Polly dates? I'll get my diary out. Xxx"

But me? What about me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Who is this poly

Me! Me! I'm Polly!!

Very disappointed at the people that say they won't date Polly

Thank you to Meli, Compersion, Lacey, Estella, LittlemissmistressK, Coco_mars - is it going to be one big date all together, or a series of individual Polly dates? I'll get my diary out. Xxx

But me? What about me? "

I said in my OP I would only date poly

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not

And I wouldn't date someone who is

Based purely on observation, poly relationships appear quite complicated "

You should look at how complicated monogamous relationships look. Especially with all the cheaters on here

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By *rHotNottsMan over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I'm not

And I wouldn't date someone who is

Based purely on observation, poly relationships appear quite complicated

You should look at how complicated monogamous relationships look. Especially with all the cheaters on here

Precisely!

I find being poly helps because you don’t look to a single partner to deal with your emotional needs, or feel threatened if a partner seeks someone else for theirs. I think that keeps relationships from failing, It’s actually perfect.

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By *ellinever70Woman over a year ago

Ayrshire

"I'm not

And I wouldn't date someone who is

Based purely on observation, poly relationships appear quite complicated

You should look at how complicated monogamous relationships look. Especially with all the cheaters on here

Don't poly people cheat too?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

physical and emotional are two different things altogether..if you can deal with both you're doing good but when you can't it's a different story , when you're exclusive to someone but they're not exclusive to you..it's very very difficult...you're at home Twiddling your thumbs while she's out fucking..nawww ..

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"I'm not

And I wouldn't date someone who is

Based purely on observation, poly relationships appear quite complicated

You should look at how complicated monogamous relationships look. Especially with all the cheaters on here

Don't poly people cheat too?"

Yes they do. I guess it depends on the dynamic and what you have in place - it's more individualistic. If someone had said being open and honest about meeting others but weren't? Most would say that's cheating.

I think poly can be wonderful. An utter shitstorm sometimes. But when it works, and because of that friendship that's cemented, you've got a friend for a life. As long as you're not a total dick.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm not

And I wouldn't date someone who is

Based purely on observation, poly relationships appear quite complicated

You should look at how complicated monogamous relationships look. Especially with all the cheaters on here

Don't poly people cheat too?"

Of course. Poly is complicated like you said. But so is monogamy.

As the cheaters constantly tell us on here- it’s not always that straightforward apparently.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Anyway I don’t wanna talk about monogamy on my poly thread

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By * and R cple4Couple over a year ago

swansea

"I'm not

And I wouldn't date someone who is

Based purely on observation, poly relationships appear quite complicated

You should look at how complicated monogamous relationships look. Especially with all the cheaters on here

Don't poly people cheat too?"
People will cheat regardless of what type of relationship their in ..

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By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"Who is this poly

Me! Me! I'm Polly!!

Very disappointed at the people that say they won't date Polly

Thank you to Meli, Compersion, Lacey, Estella, LittlemissmistressK, Coco_mars - is it going to be one big date all together, or a series of individual Polly dates? I'll get my diary out. Xxx"

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By *929Man over a year ago

newcastle

I wouldn’t if ever decide to take the big step to date someone serious again if the right person came along I’d want it to be like a regular relationship both exclusive to each other and work on building life together

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" I think sometimes poly folk can fall into the belief that there's one true way of being poly at times. Like the angry rants on reddit.

Can you explain this a little more please?

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 26/06/23 18:03:23]

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By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"Define poly.

For me it's emotionally sharing men, that I feel love for, with other women who also have strong loving feelings for them, without jealousy

My compersion is a big part of it for me

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

In answer to the OP, I’m more inclined to date poly people as feel they’d accept my need to be me more readily. However, sometimes poly people say they’re good communicators but then quite simply aren’t - and I wouldn’t rule out a monogamous person who accepted me and communicated well just because they didn’t want to see anyone else but were fine with me doing so. Managing people’s expectations / feelings is an art, and not one that everyone possesses.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple over a year ago

Staffordshire

I just wanna craic her

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So i love the theory.. Both spreading light +joy.. knowing we are each others no. 1..but in reality I'd be jealous of the emotional connection i think? I guess it depends on the set up too - if we all lived together and bedswapped I'd probably be cool.... Then I think about the chore devision and bump back down to earth

My only real knowledge /observation of poly is that sister wife tv program.. Sometimes they seem happy, sometimes they don't. I was thinking he is living his best night, but then he is the one bed hopping, never having time to himself always 'catching up'

So in conclusion... No idea

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By *ainbowSonicCouple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Yes I would date poly as I'm open to another experience. I'm still good friends with the ex poly partner.

No relationship is perfect and they all take work regardless what category you fall in.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are polyam-mono with a dynamic that can comfortably be called Relationship Anarchy. You do not need to be exclusively one or the other, or even one specific type of polyamory.

Miss is currently -by choice for reasons- mono, Mr is actively polyam at this point. It is something that works us and literally saved our relationship. Do the google for the book "More Than Two by By Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert".

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Travelling

Did poly say something about me?

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By *ryton 123TV/TS over a year ago

Chatham

Bad enough have one nagging women in you life that forget nothing, let 2 of them.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman over a year ago

your head

"No such thing as a Poly"

How do you mean?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm enm rather than poly but I'm not sure I could do monogamy any more. there's too much of me for just one man!"

What's the difference between enm and poly?

Fucking around/ Swinging vs a 'love' relationship?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"What's the difference between enm and poly?

Fucking around/ Swinging vs a 'love' relationship? "

ENM is the blanket term for multiple sexual partners.

Poly usually involves an emotional aspect.

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple over a year ago

Southampton

"What's the difference between enm and poly?

Fucking around/ Swinging vs a 'love' relationship?

ENM is the blanket term for multiple sexual partners.

Poly usually involves an emotional aspect."

This ... husband is poly I'm just having nsa fun

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

At the moment, no. I don't have much free time where I'm able to meet up, and they would have to consider their other partners before organising something with me.

That would probably leave a small window for us to meet, and I want more commitment from a boyfriend than I do from a sex only partner.

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By *phialtesMan over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

Lots of people claim they are poly but have no idea what they are talking about.

Some use ENM as an excuse to avoid labelling themselves as cheaters.

As for would I date poly? Or would I date mono if I were poly? It all depends on the person, the situation and how they handle themselves.

Jealousy is not fun to be around, and can quickly turn something bright into something dark.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's the difference between enm and poly?

Fucking around/ Swinging vs a 'love' relationship?

ENM is the blanket term for multiple sexual partners.

Poly usually involves an emotional aspect.

This ... husband is poly I'm just having nsa fun

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What's the difference between enm and poly?

Fucking around/ Swinging vs a 'love' relationship?

ENM is the blanket term for multiple sexual partners.

Poly usually involves an emotional aspect."

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Bump a lump

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By *r_PinkMan over a year ago

london stratford

as long as Poly put the kettle on

so we can all have tea

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't date.

But I'd I did, this would.be perfect fore as I can't do with someone pandering around me all the time.

Go away and be with someone else, ah sounds amazing.

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By *arlequin_tearsMan over a year ago

Sheffield

Been poly for years now.

It's not without it's pitfalls and there are lots of different flavours Triads, Quads, Open Relationships etc.

I like the fact that there's no pressure to have to carve yourself up to fit all of my partners needs (eg my partner hates the cinema, girlfriend loves it).

Also, the wife and I have different kinks so don't feel obliged to play together.

As sex doesn't equal love, it leaves the door open for NSA fun. But also means that if there is a spark it's not the end of the world.

Can be hard to judge whether I should message some bods who don't want to speak to attached/married bods as I am and also not.

Quin

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By *lex.and.SexCouple over a year ago

Bedale

Hmm... In some ways, maybe. I don't know.

I mean, it's easy to think of the upsides, a FFM poly relationship sounds like heaven. But would I be as happy with another male being brought into that sort of context. Probably not.

If I'm understanding the terms correctly the distinction between a poly relationship and an open one is that in poly the parties are all theoretically faithful to each other, albeit there are more than 2 as distinct from open where noone is faithful and it's a free for all so to speak?

Never been in either so wouldn't be able to speak from experience.

Maybe a poly with another male could work. I'm imagining how I would feel if Lucy wanted to do something non-sexual with one of our male playmates and I'm cool with that. Who knows. Probably never going to be a thing anyway as polys are far too public.

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By *al kalMan over a year ago

london

Polygon?

I don’t mind how many side or angles there are, so why not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Depends.

I once said I wouldn’t get married, until I looked at my (then) girlfriend and knew I wanted nothing more than to spend everyday with her.

And it turned into whatever and whoever she was I would have tagged along for the marvellous ride I saw us enjoying.

So how could I rule it out? ,…it’s just dating right?

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By *he love catsCouple over a year ago

South Wales

Depends if they are Leng.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Depends if they are Leng. "

Leng tings only yeah?

Come on you know man’s a leng ting. You tryna get this?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"as long as Poly put the kettle on

so we can all have tea"

Kitchen table poly. Fair

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By *he love catsCouple over a year ago

South Wales

Tryna.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Tryna.

Snm

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By *arlequin_tearsMan over a year ago

Sheffield

"If I'm understanding the terms correctly the distinction between a poly relationship and an open one is that in poly the parties are all theoretically faithful to each other, albeit there are more than 2 as distinct from open where noone is faithful and it's a free for all so to speak?"

Poly is an umbrella term that covers lots of different ENM relationship styles.

You do get triads, quads etc where everyone is dating everyone else.

However, you just as often have people who have a nesting partner (someone they build a home and family with) and they have play partners they date with.

My nesting partner and I have twins with additional needs so getting childcare is mental. So the fact we are poly means we actually get to have fun. But we don't date each other's partners

My nesting partner has a girlfriend who has just moved to the US. They don't see each other very often and their gf is ace but doesn't make the relationship less valid

Similarly, we have a friend who is addicted to New Relationship Energy. Has a nesting partner by goes through play partners at a rate of knots

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By *lex.and.SexCouple over a year ago

Bedale

Poly is an umbrella term that covers lots of different ENM relationship styles.

You do get triads, quads etc where everyone is dating everyone else.

However, you just as often have people who have a nesting partner (someone they build a home and family with) and they have play partners they date with.

My nesting partner and I have twins with additional needs so getting childcare is mental. So the fact we are poly means we actually get to have fun. But we don't date each other's partners

My nesting partner has a girlfriend who has just moved to the US. They don't see each other very often and their gf is ace but doesn't make the relationship less valid

Similarly, we have a friend who is addicted to New Relationship Energy. Has a nesting partner by goes through play partners at a rate of knots "

Interesting, thanks for the clarification

I think I could potentially be open to a triad or maybe a quad at a push. But I'm not sure I'd want it to be fully open if we were going down that road.

In a strange twist, I don't actually know if id be a swinger in that context, at least not very often. As in a non-open Triad/quad situation presumably you would need to get everyone involved and the scheduling would be absolutely impossible

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By *arlequin_tearsMan over a year ago

Sheffield

" I don't actually know if id be a swinger in that context, at least not very often. As in a non-open Triad/quad situation presumably you would need to get everyone involved and the scheduling would be absolutely impossible "

Ironically, people assume poly is all about sex, it's mostly about diary management.

Most triads and quads I have seen live together, share the same huge bed etc.

Handy book is 'The Ethical Slut' by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

"Been poly for years now.

It's not without it's pitfalls and there are lots of different flavours Triads, Quads, Open Relationships etc.

I like the fact that there's no pressure to have to carve yourself up to fit all of my partners needs (eg my partner hates the cinema, girlfriend loves it).

Also, the wife and I have different kinks so don't feel obliged to play together.

As sex doesn't equal love, it leaves the door open for NSA fun. But also means that if there is a spark it's not the end of the world.

Can be hard to judge whether I should message some bods who don't want to speak to attached/married bods as I am and also not.

Quin"

I would - I wouldn't see a man who is cheating on his partner but have met men in open relationships. Just be upfront.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple over a year ago

Leeds

I personally couldn't do it, I applaud those that can, sex is sex but emotionally no I need that security, there's parts I'm not comfortable sharing.

Swinging we enjoy because we do it together meeting separately doesn't interest me in the slightest dating or sex.

Mrs

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By *lex.and.SexCouple over a year ago

Bedale

Ironically, people assume poly is all about sex, it's mostly about diary management.

Most triads and quads I have seen live together, share the same huge bed etc.

Handy book is 'The Ethical Slut' by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy.

I can't lie, that sounds amazing. I did used to know a triad though I don't know if I ever heard them use that term. Used to go to kink clubs with them back when I was into that sort of thing. They seemed to make it work for a good long while.

Then as I understand it things fell apart for entirely unrelated reasons.

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By *arlequin_tearsMan over a year ago

Sheffield

"I can't lie, that sounds amazing. I did used to know a triad though I don't know if I ever heard them use that term. Used to go to kink clubs with them back when I was into that sort of thing. They seemed to make it work for a good long while.

Then as I understand it things fell apart for entirely unrelated reasons."

I know one triad that is one of the most solid relationships I have ever seen. They have been together over 20-years.

I have seen others break and that's been messy because the law recognises the rights of couples but if you have a 3rd that's not on the paperwork they can be left seriously out in the cold.

Although when my nesting partner's gf's marriage imploded during COVID we were there to back them up. They lost their house but because we were bubbling they were able to move in with us while they sorted out their credit and sorted a new flat.

Also meant my partner had help on the allotment, as gardening is not my thing.

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By *ack688Man over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

Yes, and yes! In fact it would be my preference

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I love seeing poly people on here. And people open to meeting poly people. Community

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Open to polyamory but not met the right person/people yet, and yes I would date a polyamorous person

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By *mber81Woman over a year ago

Lives in Preston, Eng

Love this post . I am so interested in poly. Need to learn more about it and what flavours appeal. I have struggled to find people that match my level of honesty in the past but I don't know if that is a reason to pursue poly or not

I love the idea of emotional intimacy with more than one person and feel quite comfortable with that idea for any partners too.

I would be hesitant about dating mono if I were poly because in my previous experience peoples insecurities come out more when the shiny period at the beginning of a relationship dies down so unless they were very very secure and really understood poly I could foresee problems. But I might be being unfair. (After all I am learning so why couldn't others). I would also be hesitant to date poly if I decided that I wanted a serious relationship and was mono. I would need much more from that partner than may be fair.

I am soaking up all the poly second hand experiences I can at the moment and will see where that journey takes me. And if my diary management could handle it.

Can't see me going back to total sexual mono now though . Swinging, other ENM seems too much my thing.

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By *arlequin_tearsMan over a year ago

Sheffield

"Love this post . I am so interested in poly. Need to learn more about it and what flavours appeal."

Look up 'the Ethical Slut'

I'm heading out to Decandence in Rochdale at some point in the next couple of weeks if you'd like to talk Poly over a bevvie.

Pretty sure any of the poly bods would happily answer any questions.

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By *r-8-BBCMan over a year ago

LONDON

"Are you poly? Would you date someone that is poly?

I’d love to hear thoughts on this.

I like the idea of poly

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Who is this poly

Me! Me! I'm Polly!!

Very disappointed at the people that say they won't date Polly

Thank you to Meli, Compersion, Lacey, Estella, LittlemissmistressK, Coco_mars - is it going to be one big date all together, or a series of individual Polly dates? I'll get my diary out. Xxx"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am poly and have been in a few poly relationships previously but not currently looking for that

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By *ylvieMWoman over a year ago

Aylesbury

Meee

But I do get a bit downhearted on the apps sometimes because it's unicorn hunters or married men looking for NSA.

I'd like dates, and emotional intimacy too please

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By *as2cheatMan over a year ago

harrow

Not just from an emotional and romantic standpoint these days it’s looking like poly relationships are making financial logic , how will people progress and have anything without multiple incomes in the future .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like emotional intimacy but I am not looking for a serious relationship at the moment.

I think being in a poly relationship would absolutely be something I would explore, with the right person if and when that happened.

For now I'm very happy with my life the way it is.

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By *edeWoman over a year ago

the abyss

I wasn't looking for a poly relationship (any relationship actually) but one found me. Am I poly or mono? I'm not currently sure. I am very new to everything and discovering what will work for myself and my partner. In the end I find honest, open conversations and a desire for your partner to feel loved and seen as much as you are is what will make things work in any relationship

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

"I wasn't looking for a poly relationship (any relationship actually) but one found me. Am I poly or mono? I'm not currently sure. I am very new to everything and discovering what will work for myself and my partner. In the end I find honest, open conversations and a desire for your partner to feel loved and seen as much as you are is what will make things work in any relationship

Oh Cede!!! This is so glorious and wonderful and adorable. You're right about the honesty and openness. And making sure your partner feels loved and important.

Gosh I'm so happy for you! There's no rush to discover what you are but yay to all the joy in your post.

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By *stbury DavenportMan over a year ago

Nottingham

I prefer not to use the term “poly”, but I am very definitely ethically non-monogamous. Have been for decades – since before I even knew it had a name.

I would not become involved with a monogamous person. Far too much stress and bullshit to deal with. Nobody can be anybody’s everything.

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By *edeWoman over a year ago

the abyss

Oh Cede!!! This is so glorious and wonderful and adorable. You're right about the honesty and openness. And making sure your partner feels loved and important.

Gosh I'm so happy for you! There's no rush to discover what you are but yay to all the joy in your post.

Thank you Meli! Not completely blushing at all

But yes - taking my time and trying to make the most of all the new and exciting experiences happening in my life right now

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By *mf123Man over a year ago

with one foot out the door

No but id ask her to put the kettle on

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

I got distracted while replying! But yes my first experiences of polyamory were 11 years ago but I've now been fully committed to polyamory for 5 years. I have a nesting partner as well as another partner and my nesting partner has another partner also who has another partner

. I couldn't do monogamy anymore and I can't see myself doing anything other than polyamory.

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By *aitonelMan over a year ago

Travelling

"I got distracted while replying! But yes my first experiences of polyamory were 11 years ago but I've now been fully committed to polyamory for 5 years. I have a nesting partner as well as another partner and my nesting partner has another partner also who has another partner

. I couldn't do monogamy anymore and I can't see myself doing anything other than polyamory. "

My dreams shattered!

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By *ostindreamsMan over a year ago

London

I would love to date someone who dates other men while I am monogamous to her. FLR would be a bonus.

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By *estarossa.Woman over a year ago

Flagrante

I dont have time for one person, let alone several!

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By *he Silver FuxMan over a year ago

Uttoxeter

. I couldn't do monogamy anymore and I can't see myself doing anything other than polyamory. "

This sounds exhausting to me just from a scheduling and emotional management aspect. I’m going to guess there aren’t children that have to be managed too?

A ‘nesting partner’ sounds lovely though..

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By *mber81Woman over a year ago

Lives in Preston, Eng

[Removed by poster at 15/07/23 15:01:15]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think I'm safe

I can't get 1 partner never mind more than that

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By *mber81Woman over a year ago

Lives in Preston, Eng

Oh Cede!!! This is so glorious and wonderful and adorable. You're right about the honesty and openness. And making sure your partner feels loved and important.

Gosh I'm so happy for you! There's no rush to discover what you are but yay to all the joy in your post.

Thank you Meli! Not completely blushing at all

But yes - taking my time and trying to make the most of all the new and exciting experiences happening in my life right now

Yay!

I am really happy for you guys.

I love love. And I truly think open and honest is key to any good relationship.

Also how the hell do I get love hearts on this stupid forum?

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By *mber81Woman over a year ago

Lives in Preston, Eng

"Love this post . I am so interested in poly. Need to learn more about it and what flavours appeal.

Look up 'the Ethical Slut'

I'm heading out to Decandence in Rochdale at some point in the next couple of weeks if you'd like to talk Poly over a bevvie.

Pretty sure any of the poly bods would happily answer any questions.

Sorry I missed this before. Thank you!

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By *offiaCoolWoman over a year ago

Kidsgrove

Oh Cede!!! This is so glorious and wonderful and adorable. You're right about the honesty and openness. And making sure your partner feels loved and important.

Gosh I'm so happy for you! There's no rush to discover what you are but yay to all the joy in your post.

Thank you Meli! Not completely blushing at all

But yes - taking my time and trying to make the most of all the new and exciting experiences happening in my life right now

Yay!

I am really happy for you guys.

I love love. And I truly think open and honest is key to any good relationship.

Also how the hell do I get love hearts on this stupid forum?"

Type the word 'love' inside brackets....

( love )

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By *mber81Woman over a year ago

Lives in Preston, Eng

Also how the hell do I get love hearts on this stupid forum?

Type the word 'love' inside brackets....

( love )"

Thank you! I think I

you for such a swift answer!

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

. I couldn't do monogamy anymore and I can't see myself doing anything other than polyamory.

This sounds exhausting to me just from a scheduling and emotional management aspect. I’m going to guess there aren’t children that have to be managed too?

A ‘nesting partner’ sounds lovely though.."

Nope, none of us want kids.

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By *estarossa.Woman over a year ago

Flagrante

Oh Cede!!! This is so glorious and wonderful and adorable. You're right about the honesty and openness. And making sure your partner feels loved and important.

Gosh I'm so happy for you! There's no rush to discover what you are but yay to all the joy in your post.

Thank you Meli! Not completely blushing at all

But yes - taking my time and trying to make the most of all the new and exciting experiences happening in my life right now

Yay!

I am really happy for you guys.

I love love. And I truly think open and honest is key to any good relationship.

Also how the hell do I get love hearts on this stupid forum?"

Also

And

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By *mber81Woman over a year ago

Lives in Preston, Eng

Also

And

Whaaaaaaat how did I not know about these!? Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm monogamous so it's too complicated.

I tried the whole thing with couples too and I just can't.

*shrugs*

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Also

And

Whaaaaaaat how did I not know about these!? Thank you

The highlight of the thread

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By *offiaCoolWoman over a year ago

Kidsgrove

Also

And

Whaaaaaaat how did I not know about these!? Thank you

The highlight of the thread

It took me years to figure out to click on reply to see the construction of the emoji

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By *mber81Woman over a year ago

Lives in Preston, Eng

Also

And

Whaaaaaaat how did I not know about these!? Thank you

The highlight of the thread

It took me years to figure out to click on reply to see the construction of the emoji

It took me until today. I am fairly intelligent. Honest.

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By *ansexualPandaMan over a year ago

Near You

I've been in "open" relationships before and been quite satisfied, it's been my partner who it didn't work for. So, I'm open to poly relationships.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Also

And

Whaaaaaaat how did I not know about these!? Thank you

The highlight of the thread

It took me years to figure out to click on reply to see the construction of the emoji

I bookmarked this thread to help

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1290745

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By *edeWoman over a year ago

the abyss

Oh Cede!!! This is so glorious and wonderful and adorable. You're right about the honesty and openness. And making sure your partner feels loved and important.

Gosh I'm so happy for you! There's no rush to discover what you are but yay to all the joy in your post.

Thank you Meli! Not completely blushing at all

But yes - taking my time and trying to make the most of all the new and exciting experiences happening in my life right now

Yay!

I am really happy for you guys.

I love love. And I truly think open and honest is key to any good relationship.

Also how the hell do I get love hearts on this stupid forum?"

Aww thank you lovely

Also very glad you now have stock of the emoticons

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By *onicZMan over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

[Removed by poster at 17/07/23 15:47:32]

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By *onicZMan over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

Having tried it before, I don't think it's for me... That said, the better half wants a girlfriend as well and I'm OK with that, but for myself, for the time being I'm not interested in having an emotional relationship with anyone else. I may change my mind in future regarding myself but I am more than happy for her to have a girlfriend too regardless.

Sure, there may be complications at first, but it's nothing we can't get through.

See what the future holds!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No I couldn’t emotionally and loving share or be shared with another person.

It would hurt me too to have my husband emotionally and sexually being invested in another women

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think I have... poly friendships? I suppose.

I'm not dating and I'm not interested in dating (and if someone was so perfect they caused me to question that I'd probably block on every platform) but poly friendships works for me.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Horsham

I wouldn't be worried if they were poly or not, as long as we are enjoying the moment we are together.

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By *acDreamyMan over a year ago

Wirral

I think poly relationships take a fair amount of work on your own emotions as well as those of partners. It can be really good to analyse how you relate to others.

I think you can't expect people who have never thought about anything other than a mono relationship to have worked through how they would deal with it. For this reason, the switch from mono to poly is a transition rather than a flip in my experience.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think I have... poly friendships? I suppose.

I'm not dating and I'm not interested in dating (and if someone was so perfect they caused me to question that I'd probably block on every platform) but poly friendships works for me."

Friendships are a great example of how we already are capable of many of the things required for poly. We have lots of different friends that we love in different ways for different things they bring to our lives and don’t ask one friend to be everything in our lives. We don’t own our friends and don’t require them to do everything for or with us.

I think I’ve borrowed without permission that broad summary of the idea from the ethical slut actually

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No I wouldn’t. One man lying and cheating at a time is enough for me

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think I have... poly friendships? I suppose.

I'm not dating and I'm not interested in dating (and if someone was so perfect they caused me to question that I'd probably block on every platform) but poly friendships works for me.

I think I’ve borrowed without permission that broad summary of the idea from the ethical slut actually "

I don't think you need permission to borrow cultural ideas.

I'd defer to you on poly relationships being like friendships, I've only been in monogamous situations and... friends with fucking relationships.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Has any one got a link to polys account seems im the only one that doesnt know her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"No I wouldn’t. One man lying and cheating at a time is enough for me "

Ahaha meme

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would give it a try if I was ever single again. I’m quite open minded and I have no problems with my wife having sex with others so this would just be a step or two further.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think I have... poly friendships? I suppose.

I'm not dating and I'm not interested in dating (and if someone was so perfect they caused me to question that I'd probably block on every platform) but poly friendships works for me.

*Friendships are a great example of how we already are capable of many of the things required for poly. We have lots of different friends that we love in different ways for different things they bring to our lives and don’t ask one friend to be everything in our lives. We don’t own our friends and don’t require them to do everything for or with us.*

I think I’ve borrowed without permission that broad summary of the idea from the ethical slut actually "

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By *oubleswing2019Man over a year ago

Colchester

Wouldn't have a problem with it at all. As a previous poster mentioned from Hardy and Easton's "The Ethical Slut", there is a lot of overlap with the dynamics of friend's networks and poly relationships. I'd posit that a lot of people are in deep and meaningful relationships with their friends, loving and respectful relationships at that. For some of them, they're probably in polyamorous relationships with said friends, but they haven't cottoned on yet.

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By *adCherriesCouple over a year ago

Cheshire/Northwest

"I class myself as emotionally monogamous I can separate sex and emotion .We like to build friendships but that’s as far as it goes.

If I’m honest I’m probably to selfish to be poly sharing my husband sexually is something that I love doing but I couldn’t even contemplate sharing him emotionally.."

This is how we feel about each other. Sex is fine its just a fuck but nothing else

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I think I have... poly friendships? I suppose.

I'm not dating and I'm not interested in dating (and if someone was so perfect they caused me to question that I'd probably block on every platform) but poly friendships works for me."

Isn’t that just friendships?

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By *ansoffateMan over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"I think I have... poly friendships? I suppose.

I'm not dating and I'm not interested in dating (and if someone was so perfect they caused me to question that I'd probably block on every platform) but poly friendships works for me.

Isn’t that just friendships?

For me the terms Friends and Poly are fairly interchangeable.

I tend to love friends and well: why sex is separated as the 'benefit', I find a little peculiar, when people say FWB.

Not all loving relationships are primarily sexual and that can fluctuate over time too.

It's just my little idiosyncracy, probably.

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By *tagmeupMan over a year ago

wirral

Something id love to be part of but never have before

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By *weetnotinnocentCouple over a year ago

South Wales

We would love to go poly again if there are any tips on finding poly females?

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple over a year ago

Southampton

My name's not Polly lol.. jokes aside although I don't consider myself poly I'd never rule it out x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No I’m too greedy would never Share

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple over a year ago

Lincoln

I'll admit that the idea intrigues me, and sounds genuinely fantastic for people who it work for. However, I don't think I'd be able to manage the balancing act of multiple relationships, I'm pretty introverted and I barely manage looking after myself

LvM

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By *an1978Woman over a year ago

GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please)

"I'll admit that the idea intrigues me, and sounds genuinely fantastic for people who it work for. However, I don't think I'd be able to manage the balancing act of multiple relationships, I'm pretty introverted and I barely manage looking after myself

LvM"

Sometimes it is easier in the sense you don't have to be somebody's "everything" if they are poly too.

But if you are their only partner then yes it can be hard giving them enough quality time, when you've another partner, work, and have a house and family to run!

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By *thfloorCouple over a year ago

Hove

A poly date years ago defined poly as "being friends with my exes"

like mentioned already. I'm technically poly and when I date I'd see anyone compatible, some poly people certainly aren't.

Also idk if anyone's experienced this - possibly my fault/I encourage it - but some poly folk chat on and on (and on and on!) about their other relationships and partners. Like sure I actively want to know your lovescape and who is important to you! I don't necessarily need to hear about the dating life of your secondary partner's partner though... how about you&I concentrate on getting to know each other first?

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By *andd_bicoupleCouple over a year ago

wilmslow

We are poly looking for the right person xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m probs the thickest person on fab but I have to ask

What is poly?

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By *edeWoman over a year ago

the abyss

"I’m probs the thickest person on fab but I have to ask

What is poly?"

It's not being thick. Some shortened words can be easily confused. The OP is meaning Polyamory which is defined as: the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m probs the thickest person on fab but I have to ask

What is poly?

Oh thank you x

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

I'd give it a go but I don't mind that I'm in a relationship that isn't poly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Does she want a cracker

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan over a year ago

Bradford

I started out in Polly relationship

Here hence two different women on

Profile pics but most people don't spot.cherry left to take care of her mum .we never found a full time replacement .

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

"I think I have... poly friendships? I suppose.

I'm not dating and I'm not interested in dating (and if someone was so perfect they caused me to question that I'd probably block on every platform) but poly friendships works for me.

Isn’t that just friendships?

For me the terms Friends and Poly are fairly interchangeable.

I tend to love friends and well: why sex is separated as the 'benefit', I find a little peculiar, when people say FWB.

Not all loving relationships are primarily sexual and that can fluctuate over time too.

It's just my little idiosyncracy, probably."

Because I have friends I don't fuck? And I love some of my friends but I find it very different to loving a partner.

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By *lueDressWoman over a year ago

Bath

I know for sure I was tempted when I was a teen.I wanted to date someone else as well as the long term Bf.But he was pretty special though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If you would date poly- meet me in my DMs

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By *edeWoman over a year ago

the abyss

"If you would date poly- meet me in my DMs"

Your Darent Mentions??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you would date poly- meet me in my DMs

Your Darent Mentions??"

Danny Murphy’s?

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By *ingerbeardman-Man over a year ago

Sutton-in-Ashfield

I'm poly

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By *rHotNottsMan over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I thought about this a lot recently , done a lot dating etc. I guess if I found a soulmate I would be fine them being a swinger but not having poly relationships.

Once I’m invested emotionally I become quite jealous and want their loyalty & devotion but don’t mind if they want sex with others - gives my cock a rest!

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By *elkieWoman over a year ago

Durham

Ooh, love this thread.

I’m a relationship anarchist - swinging fits really well into this for me cos we can talk about what we do and don’t want from a relationship and not just assume that a relationship means we have to move in together and wear crap underwear. Currently polysaturated, though. My male partners are both monogamish, but are both very relieved when I leave because they like their own space.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you would date poly- meet me in my DMs

Your Darent Mentions??

Danny Murphy’s?"

Good try guys but it’s my direct messages

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

^i know you get it and hope you knew that I knew that you know

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By *edeWoman over a year ago

the abyss

"If you would date poly- meet me in my DMs

Your Darent Mentions??

Danny Murphy’s?

Good try guys but it’s my direct messages

Seriously?? My money was next on Delectable Muscle

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By *andycandy88Woman over a year ago

Northolt

Nope that's two sets of mindsets characters personalities to learn 1 would be more than enough for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you would date poly- meet me in my DMs

Your Darent Mentions??

Danny Murphy’s?

Good try guys but it’s my direct messages

Seriously?? My money was next on Delectable Muscle"

Mine was Defensive Midfielder.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

No. Definitely not for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you would date poly- meet me in my DMs

Your Darent Mentions??

Danny Murphy’s?

Good try guys but it’s my direct messages

Seriously?? My money was next on Delectable Muscle

Mine was Defensive Midfielder."

I made the girl come round n go low now I just call her Kante

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If you would date poly- meet me in my DMs

Your Darent Mentions??

Danny Murphy’s?

Good try guys but it’s my direct messages

Seriously?? My money was next on Delectable Muscle"

Is that the thing you want to climb on?

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

It’s been an 8 week epic and my answer is No

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