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Piercings specifically nose rings
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
I have been chatting to a lady that is lovely unfortunately for me she has a nose ring.
I know this is my issue and i believed i could get past it but now that we could meet i dread the thought of kissing her with this.
Is it ok to ask her to remove it while we are together?
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You can be open and upfront that you don't like them. And then allow her the choice to remove it or not. If someone told me not to wear something without any context I would not be impressed, in all honesty. |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
"What is the issue with her nose ring, out of curiousity?
And I’d say no if someone asked me to take mine out. "
My issue it just gives me the trembles.
I know this is my flaw and i should be able to move past it.
I think it is because kisses are so intimate for me that i do not want anything in the way |
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"What is the issue with her nose ring, out of curiousity?
And I’d say no if someone asked me to take mine out.
My issue it just gives me the trembles.
I know this is my flaw and i should be able to move past it.
I think it is because kisses are so intimate for me that i do not want anything in the way"
How big is her nose if her rings going to get in the way?   |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"What is the issue with her nose ring, out of curiousity?
And I’d say no if someone asked me to take mine out.
My issue it just gives me the trembles.
I know this is my flaw and i should be able to move past it.
I think it is because kisses are so intimate for me that i do not want anything in the way
How big is her nose if her rings going to get in the way? "
Fuck nose |
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I have a nose ring and it never really gets in the way of kisses. I wouldn't remove it if someone asked. Mostly because the hole closes up really quickly once it's taken out so you usually have to put a plastic retainer in when you need to take it out for hospital scans and stuff. And also because it's part of my aesthetic and I don't want to change that for someone. If they don't like it then sorry I'm not for them  |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
The diplomatic answer, You can ask, and should ask.
If it was me with the nose ring though, I'd not be removing it. If it were an actual relationship it work some compromise. Though I'd not really get with somebody who would be wanting me to change/remove part of who I am, instead of accepting it's part of me.
But the honest and blunt answrr is that it's a you problem to get over, and not something for her to fix. Get over it, or find somebody else. |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
"The diplomatic answer, You can ask, and should ask.
If it was me with the nose ring though, I'd not be removing it. If it were an actual relationship it work some compromise. Though I'd not really get with somebody who would be wanting me to change/remove part of who I am, instead of accepting it's part of me.
But the honest and blunt answrr is that it's a you problem to get over, and not something for her to fix. Get over it, or find somebody else. "
Agreed. |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
"You can ask I guess, but sounds like maybe she’s just not your type.
Personally, I love nose rings on women, very hot and no problem when kissing in my experience."
Very much my type and thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just how big is this nose ring? Are we talking Ferdinand the Bull proportions? I personally don't like them, but nobody I would kiss has one anyway. If you know her well enough, why not buy her a gift of a smaller, cuter nose ring?
Bess x |
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I have a nose ring. I don't mind turning it up so it's not visible for things like job interviews, or so it's not gross when I have a cold or something. But I'd be pretty put out if someone outright said they didn't want it on my face, and I'd probably decline seeing them in the future.
It's never got in the way of kissing in the more than a decade I've had it. One of my partners has a nose ring too, and the piercings never noticeably touch each other, never mind the other person's skin. |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
"Just how big is this nose ring? Are we talking Ferdinand the Bull proportions? I personally don't like them, but nobody I would kiss has one anyway. If you know her well enough, why not buy her a gift of a smaller, cuter nose ring?
Bess x"
Not the size just the visual and the possible of touch,i cannot emphasize more this is ny issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been chatting to a lady that is lovely unfortunately for me she has a nose ring.
I know this is my issue and i believed i could get past it but now that we could meet i dread the thought of kissing her with this.
Is it ok to ask her to remove it while we are together?
"
Not sure why youd consider getting to the point of kissing her if it's such an issue for you. I'd not take it out if asked though it's a bit like asking a man to shave cause I dont like beards (I love beards btw) lol |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
"I have been chatting to a lady that is lovely unfortunately for me she has a nose ring.
I know this is my issue and i believed i could get past it but now that we could meet i dread the thought of kissing her with this.
Is it ok to ask her to remove it while we are together?
Not sure why youd consider getting to the point of kissing her if it's such an issue for you. I'd not take it out if asked though it's a bit like asking a man to shave cause I dont like beards (I love beards btw) lol"
Take it out? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Mrs has a septum one. Before we met I wasn't a massive fan but it's really grown on me. Give it a chance mate, you never know "
And no issues when kissing |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
"My Mrs has a septum one. Before we met I wasn't a massive fan but it's really grown on me. Give it a chance mate, you never know
And no issues when kissing"
Thank you i know it is psychological and i need to deal with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its secret code for lesbican/bi based on the lasses i seen with em so may up your chances of a 3some at least if she keeps it  "
You've seen me and I definitely don't rock the look you're describing ha ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The way i see it is , you obviously knew about the nose ring way in advance and decided you would carry on chatting and possibly arranging a meet knowing she had one , to be blunt either get over it or end the chat . To expect her to take it out to accommodate you is popostorious , you went into this with your eyes open .If i was the person in question reading your thread i would end the communication straight off kinda shows you as weak being able to bring it up in the forums rather than with the person in question . not a good look tbh . |
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By *mf123Man
over a year ago
with one foot out the door |
"I think its secret code for lesbican/bi based on the lasses i seen with em so may up your chances of a 3some at least if she keeps it
Absolute bollocks but thank you for the interest"
thats the theory anyway |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
"Why would you be touching her nose ring whilst kissing?
Mine doesn't get in the way of kissing or anything else naughty either. "
It is not just touch as i said it is psychological and as i get closer it will be worse. |
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By *mf123Man
over a year ago
with one foot out the door |
"I think its secret code for lesbican/bi based on the lasses i seen with em so may up your chances of a 3some at least if she keeps it
You've seen me and I definitely don't rock the look you're describing ha ha ha "
im not saying its a bad look |
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"You can ask I guess, but sounds like maybe she’s just not your type.
Personally, I love nose rings on women, very hot and no problem when kissing in my experience.
Very much my type and thank you."
How can she be your type if something about her gives you the "trembles"?
I suggest exploring why you have the trembles and considering a compromise and the consequences before you ask her to alter her appearance.
This is why I'm single. Too many men do and say things exclusively from their own wants but are clueless about their own needs, the needs of their partner, the impact, and consequences or take responsibility for their own weaknesses or skilled in conflict resolution.
I as a woman would never think of asking a man ( or woman or child) to alter their appearance due to my own phobias....I have many phobias. My phobias are my responsibilities, not anyone else's.
From my limited viewpoint it feels incompatible, inconsistent and disingenuous. That's just my opinion. The lady will have hers.
Good luck Sir. |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
"I think its secret code for lesbican/bi based on the lasses i seen with em so may up your chances of a 3some at least if she keeps it
You've seen me and I definitely don't rock the look you're describing ha ha ha im not saying its a bad look "
For fuck sake it is not the look, it is not the touxch it is me. |
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I would say possibly try and understand where your fear comes from and overcoming it. Rather than ask Her not to wear something that makes you 'feel' uncomfortable. Just my opinion.
Good luck.
Jo.Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a person that has a phobia of jewellery piercings ect and has a physical reaction its not as straightforward as get over it or overcome it. OP, it's your choice on what you want to do the same as its her choice to remove or not but it definitely should be discussed. Its not a trivial thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its secret code for lesbican/bi based on the lasses i seen with em so may up your chances of a 3some at least if she keeps it
You've seen me and I definitely don't rock the look you're describing ha ha ha im not saying its a bad look
For fuck sake it is not the look, it is not the touxch it is me."
100% suggest you look for someone else with no piercings 8f this is what it does to you.
Even a bog standard ear piercing could make you feel "off" towards someone so it's not worth meeting them at all,as you could make them feel really uneasy about their appearance as well even though you knew beforehand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its secret code for lesbican/bi based on the lasses i seen with em so may up your chances of a 3some at least if she keeps it
You've seen me and I definitely don't rock the look you're describing ha ha ha im not saying its a bad look
For fuck sake it is not the look, it is not the touxch it is me.
100% suggest you look for someone else with no piercings 8f this is what it does to you.
Even a bog standard ear piercing could make you feel "off" towards someone so it's not worth meeting them at all,as you could make them feel really uneasy about their appearance as well even though you knew beforehand. "
"If" |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
"You can ask I guess, but sounds like maybe she’s just not your type.
Personally, I love nose rings on women, very hot and no problem when kissing in my experience.
Very much my type and thank you.
How can she be your type if something about her gives you the "trembles"?
I suggest exploring why you have the trembles and considering a compromise and the consequences before you ask her to alter her appearance.
This is why I'm single. Too many men do and say things exclusively from their own wants but are clueless about their own needs, the needs of their partner, the impact, and consequences or take responsibility for their own weaknesses or skilled in conflict resolution.
I as a woman would never think of asking a man ( or woman or child) to alter their appearance due to my own phobias....I have many phobias. My phobias are my responsibilities, not anyone else's.
From my limited viewpoint it feels incompatible, inconsistent and disingenuous. That's just my opinion. The lady will have hers.
Good luck Sir."
Completely agree apart from tou can go from casual to caring and then it does matter that you are totally honest.
If removing a piercing changes who you are then i agree tell mw to fuck of. |
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What if she doesn’t want to kiss you anyway tho?
For info, if it helps, (former) fwb has piercings and not all can be felt touched or even seen.
Perhaps try some de sensitising exercises before had and rub random metal stuff against your face and lips and see how it actually feels (you seem to have a problem with something unknown and not previously experienced so this may help). Chances are you don’t even really notice it and hopefully lose the fear ahead of potential kisses  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its secret code for lesbican/bi based on the lasses i seen with em so may up your chances of a 3some at least if she keeps it
You've seen me and I definitely don't rock the look you're describing ha ha ha im not saying its a bad look
For fuck sake it is not the look, it is not the touxch it is me.
100% suggest you look for someone else with no piercings 8f this is what it does to you.
Even a bog standard ear piercing could make you feel "off" towards someone so it's not worth meeting them at all,as you could make them feel really uneasy about their appearance as well even though you knew beforehand.
"If""
I have my info in my profile so that people know and can either ask me about it or can move along |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
"What if she doesn’t want to kiss you anyway tho?
For info, if it helps, (former) fwb has piercings and not all can be felt touched or even seen.
Perhaps try some de sensitising exercises before had and rub random metal stuff against your face and lips and see how it actually feels (you seem to have a problem with something unknown and not previously experienced so this may help). Chances are you don’t even really notice it and hopefully lose the fear ahead of potential kisses "
Thank you all great advice annd will include in my talk to her.
I did have a similar issue with a tongue stud that i overcame. |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
"I think its secret code for lesbican/bi based on the lasses i seen with em so may up your chances of a 3some at least if she keeps it
You've seen me and I definitely don't rock the look you're describing ha ha ha im not saying its a bad look
For fuck sake it is not the look, it is not the touxch it is me.
100% suggest you look for someone else with no piercings 8f this is what it does to you.
Even a bog standard ear piercing could make you feel "off" towards someone so it's not worth meeting them at all,as you could make them feel really uneasy about their appearance as well even though you knew beforehand.
"If"
I have my info in my profile so that people know and can either ask me about it or can move along "
Very faair although she was not on this site i knew of her piercing i just never thought we would get beyond flirting online and now i care. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Mrs has a septum one. Before we met I wasn't a massive fan but it's really grown on me. Give it a chance mate, you never know
And no issues when kissing
Thank you i know it is psychological and i need to deal with it."
No worries mate happy to help. I'd probably stay clear of asking her to remove it though, I think K would have told me to piss off if I asked her early doors, and probably even now. It's part of who she is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think its secret code for lesbican/bi based on the lasses i seen with em so may up your chances of a 3some at least if she keeps it "
Is this just rings specifically or all nose piercings? Asking for a friend... |
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I have a nose ring and honestly it’s never gotten in the way of kissing. If I was asked to remove it by someone who I was seeing I’d refuse as it’s part of who I am and the holes close up really fast once it’s taken out.
(Kink the female half) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you guys and gals i am going to ask this evening.
I just have to be true to who i am later i will be a puddle of goo that you can all say i told you so.
"
I won't be saying that. I get what you've said. I threw up on a man that had his tongue pierced when he stuck it out. In a beer garden.
Good luck OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you guys and gals i am going to ask this evening.
I just have to be true to who i am later i will be a puddle of goo that you can all say i told you so.
"
Best of luck mate, hope it goes well |
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"I think its secret code for lesbican/bi based on the lasses i seen with em so may up your chances of a 3some at least if she keeps it "
I asked someone in the family with a nose ring if they were a lesbian...they told me in no uncertain term no....I said well you know because I've never met any of your boyfriends so I just wanted you to know it's ok if you are a lesbian. They said thanks for your concern but I'm straight. Lol!
Someone told me that my new hair cut was lesbian hair cut....I just laughed...Bro I'm clinically straight....it's interesting how it's always men who come up with these alleged secret codes.... |
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Obviously she isn't compatible with you if you feel like you would ask her to take it out. You either like all of her or not at all.
I wouldn't be happy if some guy said "remove something or other" he'd be quickly kicked to the kerb. |
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"You can ask I guess, but sounds like maybe she’s just not your type.
Personally, I love nose rings on women, very hot and no problem when kissing in my experience.
Very much my type and thank you.
How can she be your type if something about her gives you the "trembles"?
I suggest exploring why you have the trembles and considering a compromise and the consequences before you ask her to alter her appearance.
This is why I'm single. Too many men do and say things exclusively from their own wants but are clueless about their own needs, the needs of their partner, the impact, and consequences or take responsibility for their own weaknesses or skilled in conflict resolution.
I as a woman would never think of asking a man ( or woman or child) to alter their appearance due to my own phobias....I have many phobias. My phobias are my responsibilities, not anyone else's.
From my limited viewpoint it feels incompatible, inconsistent and disingenuous. That's just my opinion. The lady will have hers.
Good luck Sir.
Completely agree apart from tou can go from casual to caring and then it does matter that you are totally honest.
If removing a piercing changes who you are then i agree tell mw to fuck of."
I'm honest from the start. My neurodivergent brain stops me faking and truth withholding...even if it's an inappropriate thing to say. My weakness is that I'm too fucking honest and that probably makes a lot of people feel bad. I have to stay grounded...away with fairies is not great for me for a prolonged time.
I agree with the desensitizing activities.
Do you know why she got it?
Do you know if it mean something important to her?
My starting point with all interpersonal interactions is "this is a human not an object"...so I can't be casual in picking them up and putting them down. I have to practice sensitivity to others as it doesn't come natural to me, I wasn't parented sensitively and I don't pick up social cues easily.
For any man entering into a relationship, you are going to have to develop sensitive communication skills while keeping your sense of self intact. Same for a woman, LGBTQIA, etc.
Going straight into let's remove the nose ring, is problem-solving ( avoiding) and That's not ( as I have learnt to my detriment) not the great first approach in relationships with humans.
One therapy skill I learnt ( not mastered) was to go in with questions and curiosity.....not "fixing"...I'm shit at curiosity. Lol! I always want to fix the thing....( read avoid also) People generally do not need fixing unless it's some sort of harm reduction.
something about the nose ring is activating your flight/avoid, fright, fawn, freeze, fight response.
And sadly in the course of a committed relationship this won't be the first activation of that response which you have to recognise and mitigate.
It's ok to be afraid/uncomfortable but not if it starts to make your partner insecure or upset or hurt. |
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"What if she doesn’t want to kiss you anyway tho?
For info, if it helps, (former) fwb has piercings and not all can be felt touched or even seen.
Perhaps try some de sensitising exercises before had and rub random metal stuff against your face and lips and see how it actually feels (you seem to have a problem with something unknown and not previously experienced so this may help). Chances are you don’t even really notice it and hopefully lose the fear ahead of potential kisses
Thank you all great advice annd will include in my talk to her.
I did have a similar issue with a tongue stud that i overcame."
See you can do it...   |
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"Thank you guys and gals i am going to ask this evening.
I just have to be true to who i am later i will be a puddle of goo that you can all say i told you so.
I won't be saying that. I get what you've said. I threw up on a man that had his tongue pierced when he stuck it out. In a beer garden.
Good luck OP "
I threw up on an uber. Sigh when our body and brains fail us.. I come with a warning label now.....A hidden disability lanyard at work...Lol! So that when managers, colleagues, and the general public trigger me I can leg it to the loo and pop a sedative and do the 4-7-8 breathing technique for 15 minutes. |
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"I have been chatting to a lady that is lovely unfortunately for me she has a nose ring.
I know this is my issue and i believed i could get past it but now that we could meet i dread the thought of kissing her with this.
Is it ok to ask her to remove it while we are together?
"
You can ask... But I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't get the response your after. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have asked and no response at all.
Thank you all for your advice it is very much appreciated."
Whaaaaaaat? She can't have just ignored you? If I was sat having that conversation I'd expect a reply. |
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"I have asked and no response at all.
Thank you all for your advice it is very much appreciated.
Whaaaaaaat? She can't have just ignored you? If I was sat having that conversation I'd expect a reply. "
If I got a text about that I'd probably not respond and delete their number  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have asked and no response at all.
Thank you all for your advice it is very much appreciated.
Whaaaaaaat? She can't have just ignored you? If I was sat having that conversation I'd expect a reply.
If I got a text about that I'd probably not respond and delete their number "
Never thought of text, please no, you didn't?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have asked and no response at all.
Thank you all for your advice it is very much appreciated.
Whaaaaaaat? She can't have just ignored you? If I was sat having that conversation I'd expect a reply.
If I got a text about that I'd probably not respond and delete their number "
Oh, I'd respond... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At least she hasn’t got a Prince Albert
He hasn’t got there yet
Is it weird that I want to be there if he does?
We won't kink shame. "
Thanks. I knew I could count on you to be caring of others feelings. |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
I should explain that although we have talked on the phone, video chatted she much prefers texts.
A quick update she would find it difficult to remove without the people who put it in and is not upset with me for bringing it up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a stud, not a ring, but personally I wouldn’t remove it for anyone. I’d wanted it done for years and it took me a long time to get it done. It’s now part of me.
Mrs |
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By *ohndom2023 OP Man
over a year ago
Hastings/Greenwich |
"Considering you haven’t even met I don’t think it’s right asking her to take it out if it’s that much of a issue then don’t meet her."
Asking not insisting or being pushy.
If we do not reveal ourselves to a certain extent before meeting is that not dishonest? |
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"Considering you haven’t even met I don’t think it’s right asking her to take it out if it’s that much of a issue then don’t meet her.
Asking not insisting or being pushy.
If we do not reveal ourselves to a certain extent before meeting is that not dishonest?"
Maybe add it in your profile then so that people that have their nose pierced know not to message you.I definitely don’t think it’s dishonest tho we wouldn’t even think to mention piercings or tattoos. |
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