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Is my colleague coming on to me?
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Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You could always talk to her and see if she is interested in you, if you are indeed interested in her?
Maybe don't mention why you think she might be interested as an opening gambit though. |
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She must be able to feel that her breast is touching something unless she has a very padded bra on. I wonder if this is the case because if I was interested in a guy resting my breast on his arm wouldn't be my first choice of ways to indicate it. |
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"She must be able to feel that her breast is touching something unless she has a very padded bra on. I wonder if this is the case because if I was interested in a guy resting my breast on his arm wouldn't be my first choice of ways to indicate it."
That might be it. I wear padded bras for modesty most of the time  |
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"She must be able to feel that her breast is touching something unless she has a very padded bra on. I wonder if this is the case because if I was interested in a guy resting my breast on his arm wouldn't be my first choice of ways to indicate it.
That might be it. I wear padded bras for modesty most of the time "
Also and I hope this isn't so, she may be wearing a prosthetic. |
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It used to be a lot of relationships started at work and it was no big deal but now everyone seems a lot more reticent to make the first move.
In your situation just push back a little until you know she can feel you and see if she moves away.
|
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"She must be able to feel that her breast is touching something unless she has a very padded bra on. I wonder if this is the case because if I was interested in a guy resting my breast on his arm wouldn't be my first choice of ways to indicate it."
Yes the “resting boob method” has been used successfully on me in the past.
 |
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"She must be able to feel that her breast is touching something unless she has a very padded bra on. I wonder if this is the case because if I was interested in a guy resting my breast on his arm wouldn't be my first choice of ways to indicate it.
That might be it. I wear padded bras for modesty most of the time "
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"She must be able to feel that her breast is touching something unless she has a very padded bra on. I wonder if this is the case because if I was interested in a guy resting my breast on his arm wouldn't be my first choice of ways to indicate it.
Yes the “resting boob method” has been used successfully on me in the past.
"
Has it, blimey that's subtle taken to the nth degree. I eat my words then. |
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"It used to be a lot of relationships started at work and it was no big deal but now everyone seems a lot more reticent to make the first move.
In your situation just push back a little until you know she can feel you and see if she moves away.
"
Tried that, she doesn’t move |
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"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?"
Wishful thinking buddy... But you could always put your pint down... Square up to her and give them both a honk and see what she does..? |
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"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?
Wishful thinking buddy... But you could always put your pint down... Square up to her and give them both a honk and see what she does..? "
|
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"It used to be a lot of relationships started at work and it was no big deal but now everyone seems a lot more reticent to make the first move.
In your situation just push back a little until you know she can feel you and see if she moves away.
Tried that, she doesn’t move "
Does she give any indication that she's aware you're pushing back? |
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Are there any other cues?
I’m gonna assume your interested? Are you both single?
I agree with the “don’t shit where you eat” philosophy, but many people meet partners and spouses at work. How close do you work together? Would it be awkward if you got it wrong?
Perhaps move your arm in a way that makes her aware of the contact, in a totally innocent way of course, and see what happens.
But if this is among a group of work colleagues I’d say it’s all but certainly innocent, but without knowing her it’s hard to say |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Is she standing beside you, very close?
My boobs have been known to accidentally touch people standing next to me at a packed bar, or brush past them on a bus.
One man said to me that my boobs are hot. When I looked at him he said they're actually physically hot-it was touching his arm and I didn't realise.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe as a work colleague she feels comfortable being next to you on a friendly level
I am sure she does we get on really well "
If you get on that well, surely youd know if there was a spark between you and not be here wondering if shes coming on to you. |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……"
Is it worth a shag or two if it ends badly? |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……"
Ok. Give it a bit of thought before you go any further though You've got quite a bit at risk if things go horribly wrong. |
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"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?"
OP - I’m afraid there is literally only one way to resolve this either way. Next time she does it, pop out the old chap. If she recoils in horror, mystery solved. If she starts to stroke him like a little dormouse, mystery solved.
See - infallible. Cannot fail.
You. Are. Welcome. |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……
Is it worth a shag or two if it ends badly?"
I suspect the answer is yes to any possibility of sex. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……"
Ok, don't pull your cock out just yet but maybe ask her an innocent question that might tell you more. |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……
Is it worth a shag or two if it ends badly?
I suspect the answer is yes to any possibility of sex."
I don't understand this mindset, but to each their own |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……
Is it worth a shag or two if it ends badly?
I suspect the answer is yes to any possibility of sex."
No, if it’s going to end badly I am not up for it. That’s why I am asking for your opinions. Really don’t want to fuck it up |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……
Is it worth a shag or two if it ends badly?"
it's more about the journey than destination. |
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"It used to be a lot of relationships started at work and it was no big deal but now everyone seems a lot more reticent to make the first move.
In your situation just push back a little until you know she can feel you and see if she moves away.
Tried that, she doesn’t move
Does she give any indication that she's aware you're pushing back? "
No poker face |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……
Is it worth a shag or two if it ends badly?
it's more about the journey than destination."
Indeed |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……
Is it worth a shag or two if it ends badly?
I suspect the answer is yes to any possibility of sex.
No, if it’s going to end badly I am not up for it. That’s why I am asking for your opinions. Really don’t want to fuck it up"
Ok, think about the possibilities.
You somehow discover that her breast touching your arm is a sign that she wants sex with you.
1 you have sex every time you attend a social event. It remains as an agreement between the two of you and eventually comes to an amicable end
2 as above but she wants more. It becomes difficult and one of you needs to change their job.
3 it becomes difficult due to rumours at work and one or both need to change jobs
4 your significant others find out and an almighty row ensues |
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"Is she standing beside you, very close?
My boobs have been known to accidentally touch people standing next to me at a packed bar, or brush past them on a bus.
One man said to me that my boobs are hot. When I looked at him he said they're actually physically hot-it was touching his arm and I didn't realise.
"
Lol |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……
Is it worth a shag or two if it ends badly?
I suspect the answer is yes to any possibility of sex.
No, if it’s going to end badly I am not up for it. That’s why I am asking for your opinions. Really don’t want to fuck it up
Ok, think about the possibilities.
You somehow discover that her breast touching your arm is a sign that she wants sex with you.
1 you have sex every time you attend a social event. It remains as an agreement between the two of you and eventually comes to an amicable end
2 as above but she wants more. It becomes difficult and one of you needs to change their job.
3 it becomes difficult due to rumours at work and one or both need to change jobs
4 your significant others find out and an almighty row ensues "
You forgot 5. She starts cooking my rabbits |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……
Is it worth a shag or two if it ends badly?
I suspect the answer is yes to any possibility of sex.
No, if it’s going to end badly I am not up for it. That’s why I am asking for your opinions. Really don’t want to fuck it up
Ok, think about the possibilities.
You somehow discover that her breast touching your arm is a sign that she wants sex with you.
1 you have sex every time you attend a social event. It remains as an agreement between the two of you and eventually comes to an amicable end
2 as above but she wants more. It becomes difficult and one of you needs to change their job.
3 it becomes difficult due to rumours at work and one or both need to change jobs
4 your significant others find out and an almighty row ensues
You forgot 5. She starts cooking my rabbits"
Or you hers ... |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"It used to be a lot of relationships started at work and it was no big deal but now everyone seems a lot more reticent to make the first move.
In your situation just push back a little until you know she can feel you and see if she moves away.
Tried that, she doesn’t move
Does she give any indication that she's aware you're pushing back?
No poker face"
Ok real talk now. 3 options.
She's not aware.
She's aware and playing a game that might end badly for you.
She's aware and would like more. Tread carefully. Why not ask her to have lunch someday.
Ultimately its up to you, you know her, we don't. But as a principle, I'd keep my distance. The fucking you get will never be worth the fucking you might get. |
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"Maybe as a work colleague she feels comfortable being next to you on a friendly level
I am sure she does we get on really well
If you get on that well, surely youd know if there was a spark between you and not be here wondering if shes coming on to you."
Yes but i am hyper sensitive because it’s a work thing….
I am not up for a relationship with her but would be up for a bit of mutual fun if that’s what she wants too |
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"It used to be a lot of relationships started at work and it was no big deal but now everyone seems a lot more reticent to make the first move.
In your situation just push back a little until you know she can feel you and see if she moves away.
Tried that, she doesn’t move
Does she give any indication that she's aware you're pushing back?
No poker face
Ok real talk now. 3 options.
She's not aware.
She's aware and playing a game that might end badly for you.
She's aware and would like more. Tread carefully. Why not ask her to have lunch someday.
Ultimately its up to you, you know her, we don't. But as a principle, I'd keep my distance. The fucking you get will never be worth the fucking you might get."
That’s the way my thoughts are going |
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"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?
OP - I’m afraid there is literally only one way to resolve this either way. Next time she does it, pop out the old chap. If she recoils in horror, mystery solved. If she starts to stroke him like a little dormouse, mystery solved.
See - infallible. Cannot fail.
You. Are. Welcome."
|
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I haven’t read every message in this thread, but - if it’s how the OP described it, how could the woman not be aware? Accidents happen. I quite often walk into out bannister. But I always notice.
If it was the other way round, and the guy “accidentally” rested his hand on the woman’s leg, for example - would the woman believe that?
Someone said, “Why don’t you just ask her?” What are people’s thoughts on that? Is it really the done thing? Ignore the work context - does one normally find out whether someone likes you by edging closer and seeing whether you’re pushed away, or by asking? And if you ask, what’s the best way to phrase the question?
As to whether it is sensible to mix business and pleasure in that way, no comment. |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……
Is it worth a shag or two if it ends badly?
I suspect the answer is yes to any possibility of sex.
No, if it’s going to end badly I am not up for it. That’s why I am asking for your opinions. Really don’t want to fuck it up"
Live your life with as little regret as possible and just go for it.
See you at the tribunal. |
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"Are there any other cues?
I’m gonna assume your interested? Are you both single?
I agree with the “don’t shit where you eat” philosophy, but many people meet partners and spouses at work. How close do you work together? Would it be awkward if you got it wrong?
Perhaps move your arm in a way that makes her aware of the contact, in a totally innocent way of course, and see what happens.
But if this is among a group of work colleagues I’d say it’s all but certainly innocent, but without knowing her it’s hard to say "
Yes but I think if I move my arm she will fall over |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……
Is it worth a shag or two if it ends badly?
I suspect the answer is yes to any possibility of sex.
No, if it’s going to end badly I am not up for it. That’s why I am asking for your opinions. Really don’t want to fuck it up
Live your life with as little regret as possible and just go for it.
See you at the tribunal."
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"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?"
I’ve now stopped having work relationships because of the mess they cause afterwards.
If it transpires she’s into you, could you pursue it with no ramifications? ie if it went really sour could you still do your job effectively? If so, I don’t see a reason to avoid it.
If it will affect your ability to effectively and happily do your job, it’s too much of a risk.
If you’re not going to pursue it and she is making you uncomfortable, make a light joke about her chesticle touching you |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……
Ok. Give it a bit of thought before you go any further though You've got quite a bit at risk if things go horribly wrong. "
I will, thx |
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"I haven’t read every message in this thread, but - if it’s how the OP described it, how could the woman not be aware? Accidents happen. I quite often walk into out bannister. But I always notice.
If it was the other way round, and the guy “accidentally” rested his hand on the woman’s leg, for example - would the woman believe that?
Someone said, “Why don’t you just ask her?” What are people’s thoughts on that? Is it really the done thing? Ignore the work context - does one normally find out whether someone likes you by edging closer and seeing whether you’re pushed away, or by asking? And if you ask, what’s the best way to phrase the question?
As to whether it is sensible to mix business and pleasure in that way, no comment."
Yes when work is involved it’s a minefield. |
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"Assuming for a moment that she is coming on to you. Would you like to follow up and start a relationship?
No, but if it’s both of us having a bit of fun……
Is it worth a shag or two if it ends badly?
I suspect the answer is yes to any possibility of sex.
No, if it’s going to end badly I am not up for it. That’s why I am asking for your opinions. Really don’t want to fuck it up
Ok, think about the possibilities.
You somehow discover that her breast touching your arm is a sign that she wants sex with you.
1 you have sex every time you attend a social event. It remains as an agreement between the two of you and eventually comes to an amicable end
2 as above but she wants more. It becomes difficult and one of you needs to change their job.
3 it becomes difficult due to rumours at work and one or both need to change jobs
4 your significant others find out and an almighty row ensues
You forgot 5. She starts cooking my rabbits
Or you hers ..."
Hehe |
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By *.T.Man
over a year ago
Belfast for the week |
"Why don't you step back a little then?
Only a gay man would do that. Every other man is inhaling, expanding his chest to get an increase of the fondle "
I'm not a gay man.
I am also not fond of being accused of invading personal space or being accused of sexual harassment.
Also she is invading your personal space.
Maybe ask her outright if she wants to go for a drink after work?
Reading what you want into a situation normally ends up going south in a bad way. Avoid litigation, step back. |
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"Are there any other cues?
I’m gonna assume your interested? Are you both single?
I agree with the “don’t shit where you eat” philosophy, but many people meet partners and spouses at work. How close do you work together? Would it be awkward if you got it wrong?
Perhaps move your arm in a way that makes her aware of the contact, in a totally innocent way of course, and see what happens.
But if this is among a group of work colleagues I’d say it’s all but certainly innocent, but without knowing her it’s hard to say
Yes but I think if I move my arm she will fall over"
I meant more in a way that would stroke her boob. Maybe an inch or two then back. If she recoils you can just apologise and make it look innocent. If she doesn’t then you’re probably safe to move it forward.
You didn’t answer if you were both single, but assuming she is, I’d say it’s very unlikely she’s just after a quick shag. It’s not impossible of course, but as a general rule women are not looking for a quick shag when they come on to a guy.
If she’s thinking you’re bf material and you’re definitely not interested in that, I’d say it’s not worth the risk cos of how things would be at work when it goes wrong, but it’s your life, only you can decide |
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"I haven’t read every message in this thread, but - if it’s how the OP described it, how could the woman not be aware? Accidents happen. I quite often walk into out bannister. But I always notice.
If it was the other way round, and the guy “accidentally” rested his hand on the woman’s leg, for example - would the woman believe that?
Someone said, “Why don’t you just ask her?” What are people’s thoughts on that? Is it really the done thing? Ignore the work context - does one normally find out whether someone likes you by edging closer and seeing whether you’re pushed away, or by asking? And if you ask, what’s the best way to phrase the question?
As to whether it is sensible to mix business and pleasure in that way, no comment.
Yes when work is involved it’s a minefield."
Yes. (Though I would, kind of, love for it to happen.)
But what about the other aspects. Someone you know seems to be, not so obviously, pushing against you or putting their hand on you.
What do you do?
As a woman, or as a man?
And if you do want something, versus if you don’t? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some people have very poor awareness of personal space... Its very easy to misread signals, you could end up with a sexual harassment case against you
Ideally you should address it directly with her - chances are she'll be a bit mortified. As our boobies stick out from us, they do get us into unfortunate situations at times. |
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"Some people have very poor awareness of personal space... Its very easy to misread signals, you could end up with a sexual harassment case against you
Ideally you should address it directly with her - chances are she'll be a bit mortified. As our boobies stick out from us, they do get us into unfortunate situations at times. "
Agreed. I have found just putting the space in myself can address that and save the potential embarrassment of making it explicit, if it isn't necessary to do so.
I have had occasions where a situation like this occurred and she took it to the point that her first comment was: 'look at us... what are you going to do?' as she gestured to the desk with her eyes. I am going with that one as being a fairly strong signal. |
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I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both. |
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Just to add, you can bet your mortgage that every woman claiming she doesn't know what her tits are doing would soon notice if an unattractive man kept pressing his arm against them. Funny how sensation only works half the time. |
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"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both. "
Or she’s an awful flirt and likes winding men on?
But in general terms, this has to be right. Otherwise, whatever a women does, we should assume she’s not aware of her actions.
But is her pressing against him wrong per se? Is it an ok way to test the water? He can move away, and if it happens again, say she’s standing too close. |
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"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both. "
Never seen one of those add a cup size bras? You wouldn't feel a tank through one of them |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both. "
I think as in a queue once for the cafe at work and space is limited , so I moved closer to the colleague in front and pressed my cock against their bum.
Perfectly normal thing to do eh ? |
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"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both.
Or she’s an awful flirt and likes winding men on?
But in general terms, this has to be right. Otherwise, whatever a women does, we should assume she’s not aware of her actions.
But is her pressing against him wrong per se? Is it an ok way to test the water? He can move away, and if it happens again, say she’s standing too close."
Women are very well aware of their actions. Men are frequently not aware of a woman's intent |
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"
Or she’s an awful flirt and likes winding men on?
But in general terms, this has to be right. Otherwise, whatever a women does, we should assume she’s not aware of her actions.
But is her pressing against him wrong per se? Is it an ok way to test the water? He can move away, and if it happens again, say she’s standing too close."
No, it would only be wrong if it wasn't wanted which in this case it appears it is. There is an issue here though that you don't know if inappropriate touching will be recieved well or found to be offensive until you try it.
Interesting to see not only the lack of any kind of censorship of her behaviour but one commentator even went further and questioned the OP's story. Clearly there's a belief that women are incapable of inappropriate touching and when it happens it's either by (repeated) accident or is, in fact, a man carrying out a sexual assault.
|
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"
Or she’s an awful flirt and likes winding men on?
But in general terms, this has to be right. Otherwise, whatever a women does, we should assume she’s not aware of her actions.
But is her pressing against him wrong per se? Is it an ok way to test the water? He can move away, and if it happens again, say she’s standing too close.
No, it would only be wrong if it wasn't wanted which in this case it appears it is. There is an issue here though that you don't know if inappropriate touching will be recieved well or found to be offensive until you try it.
Interesting to see not only the lack of any kind of censorship of her behaviour but one commentator even went further and questioned the OP's story. Clearly there's a belief that women are incapable of inappropriate touching and when it happens it's either by (repeated) accident or is, in fact, a man carrying out a sexual assault.
"
As to not knowing until you try - or you could ask? Comes back to my earlier post. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both.
Or she’s an awful flirt and likes winding men on?
But in general terms, this has to be right. Otherwise, whatever a women does, we should assume she’s not aware of her actions.
But is her pressing against him wrong per se? Is it an ok way to test the water? He can move away, and if it happens again, say she’s standing too close.
Women are very well aware of their actions. Men are frequently not aware of a woman's intent"
They are yes and they also have plausible deniability. For all sorts of reasons there's lots of assumptions about what women will and wouldn't do. But plausible deniability is great.
Other women will spot the actions much quicker I've noticed |
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"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both.
Never seen one of those add a cup size bras? You wouldn't feel a tank through one of them "
Like I say, I ride motorcycles and you can feel the patter of a swarm of knats through a lined leather jacket. Or maybe I just have sensitive skin. Useful to know though that should I ever want to get away with sexual assault I just need to pick a woman wearing a padded bra and she won't notice a quick grope  |
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"For fuck sake we are not a naturally letigious nation like the americans if you cannot flirt, be cheeky or make subtle overtures then what happens to the office romance?"
But we’re talking about a specific form of flirting - the subtle touch without asking for consent. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both. "
You're raising all sorts of points. Double standards for sure, and they'll never go away. This is our world and the standards, expectations and perceptions of the genders are not equal.
Maybe she is doing it intentionally or maybe she isn't. How do you prove intent here? Unless another colleague says this lady says she loves watching men squirm when she presses her boobs against them. This is lowkey, its not like she's grinding on him. So the action is plausibly deniable. |
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"So you want to have an affair with someone you work with... What could possibly go wrong?
Maybe take your wife to some of the social events."
Shit when did i get married?
If already in a relationship step the fuck away and rent fatal attraction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both. "
I'm thinking about my dentist.. When she is cleaning my teeth her boobs are always is pressed up against me - 9000% sure its not sexual or flirting  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both.
Never seen one of those add a cup size bras? You wouldn't feel a tank through one of them
Like I say, I ride motorcycles and you can feel the patter of a swarm of knats through a lined leather jacket. Or maybe I just have sensitive skin. Useful to know though that should I ever want to get away with sexual assault I just need to pick a woman wearing a padded bra and she won't notice a quick grope "
Men absolutely have rights in the workplace too and should discuss any situations that make you uncomfortable or create any awkward working environment with your manager or HR |
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"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both.
You're raising all sorts of points. Double standards for sure, and they'll never go away. This is our world and the standards, expectations and perceptions of the genders are not equal.
Maybe she is doing it intentionally or maybe she isn't. How do you prove intent here? Unless another colleague says this lady says she loves watching men squirm when she presses her boobs against them. This is lowkey, its not like she's grinding on him. So the action is plausibly deniable. "
I have experienced the veil of plausible deniability you describe many times in the work place.
I do recall one occasion a female colleague saying to my boss. FFS get the message if he wanted his cock in your mouth you'd have had it by now. She would have denied it till the cows come home if I had challenged her behaviour directly. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both.
I'm thinking about my dentist.. When she is cleaning my teeth her boobs are always is pressed up against me - 9000% sure its not sexual or flirting "
I had a math teacher with a massive chest, They were always being brushed against when she was looking at classwork. Similarly hairdressers. I dunno, maybe I didn't read the signs. |
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"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both.
I'm thinking about my dentist.. When she is cleaning my teeth her boobs are always is pressed up against me - 9000% sure its not sexual or flirting "
Completely different situation so totally irrelevant. |
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"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both.
I'm thinking about my dentist.. When she is cleaning my teeth her boobs are always is pressed up against me - 9000% sure its not sexual or flirting "
I can’t quite picture the mechanics of how that’s possible. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I would know if my boob was pressing against someone or even if I accidently rubbed against someone. Does she stand so close to other people? Some people do so you could be reading it wrong.
Personally I can't stand people standing really close and would have to move |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both.
I'm thinking about my dentist.. When she is cleaning my teeth her boobs are always is pressed up against me - 9000% sure its not sexual or flirting
Completely different situation so totally irrelevant."
Different scenario. Just trying to explain how boobs press against people in genuine work situations that are definitely not sexual. I'm not saying its right, just sharing an experience. I'm sure if i mentioned it, she'd be apologetic and do what she could to prevent it happening again |
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"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both.
I'm thinking about my dentist.. When she is cleaning my teeth her boobs are always is pressed up against me - 9000% sure its not sexual or flirting
I can’t quite picture the mechanics of how that’s possible."
Yea throughout life women of a size that have needed to get close; dentist, hairdresser, nurse, teacher, colleagues, have all pushed or got very close with their chest. Slimmer smaller endowments never have and it’s those I’d like! If I was in the OP shoes and just the 2 of you I’d ask her if she knew & she was enjoying that? |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I wonder if all the women with no idea where their body parts are or what they are touching would be happy with a male colleague with a similarly poor level of spatial awareness?
I strongly suspect that had the sexes been reversed this thread would be full of words like perv, creep, predatory and the like.
For what it's worth OP, I'm acutely aware of how close I am to someone, whether or not I'm invading their personal space. I can't decide if the comments on this thread indicate women have poor nervous systems or are just so used to never being called out for inappropriate behaviour they simply don't realise they're doing it. Padded bra ffs, you can feel the impact of a fly through a padded leather bike jacket, please don't tell me a padded bra prevents you noticing your tits are pressed against someone. She either likes you or simply doesn't care about personal space. Possibly both.
You're raising all sorts of points. Double standards for sure, and they'll never go away. This is our world and the standards, expectations and perceptions of the genders are not equal.
Maybe she is doing it intentionally or maybe she isn't. How do you prove intent here? Unless another colleague says this lady says she loves watching men squirm when she presses her boobs against them. This is lowkey, its not like she's grinding on him. So the action is plausibly deniable.
I have experienced the veil of plausible deniability you describe many times in the work place.
I do recall one occasion a female colleague saying to my boss. FFS get the message if he wanted his cock in your mouth you'd have had it by now. She would have denied it till the cows come home if I had challenged her behaviour directly."
There's all sorts of points coming up in this thread. The OP isn't feeling harassed, he's thinking there might be a shag with a colleague.
Is this accidental or intentional conduct on her part? Maybe or then again. If this was intentional and she's clever to keep it lowkey then it's a pattern of behaviour that will tell you, One offs prove nothing.
OP has some new content for his wank bank though. Maybe he should tell her that....See how it goes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
There's all sorts of points coming up in this thread. The OP isn't feeling harassed, he's thinking there might be a shag with a colleague.
Is this accidental or intentional conduct on her part? Maybe or then again. If this was intentional and she's clever to keep it lowkey then it's a pattern of behaviour that will tell you, One offs prove nothing.
OP has some new content for his wank bank though. Maybe he should tell her that....See how it goes"
The point of harassment comes if he decides respond and actually she wasn't playfully rubbing herself against him at all 
But crack on, its not my job im worried about! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?"
This is why you can't be nice to men cause any small thing they think you're coming onto them |
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"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?
This is why you can't be nice to men cause any small thing they think you're coming onto them"
Yeah, it's definitely a risk.
It's why I wouldn't do it - there's a chance she's just being friendly and has no idea that she's brushing up against you |
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"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?
This is why you can't be nice to men cause any small thing they think you're coming onto them"
Too true, we are sex beasts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?
This is why you can't be nice to men cause any small thing they think you're coming onto them
Too true, we are sex beasts"
You joke yet you're literally on here asking if someone is coming onto you because she's being friendly |
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"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?
This is why you can't be nice to men cause any small thing they think you're coming onto them
Too true, we are sex beasts
You joke yet you're literally on here asking if someone is coming onto you because she's being friendly "
Thanks for the input, however, the original question was if you thought she was doing it deliberately?
It seems the jury is out on that.
Personally, I think she is doing it deliberately but I am not going to act on it though. It doesn’t upset me.
I am not going to say anything either though, as I think if I did it might upset/embarrass her.
Truth is I think I quite like it………
The other commentators are correct though if this was the opposite sex dynamic it would be a very different discussion. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?
This is why you can't be nice to men cause any small thing they think you're coming onto them
Too true, we are sex beasts
You joke yet you're literally on here asking if someone is coming onto you because she's being friendly "
He isn't, he is asking as she has her boob against his arm and not because she was being friendly. |
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"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?"
Hmm...these days, you really need to wait for an unmistakeable signal from a female colleague, like HER asking YOU out for a drink etc. Otherwise it could be a HR disaster. Very different from the days I used to shag the bosses PA over his desk after hours without a second thought |
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"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?
Hmm...these days, you really need to wait for an unmistakeable signal from a female colleague, like HER asking YOU out for a drink etc. Otherwise it could be a HR disaster. Very different from the days I used to shag the bosses PA over his desk after hours without a second thought "
If only she'd shown you an unmistakable signal |
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"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?
This is why you can't be nice to men cause any small thing they think you're coming onto them
Too true, we are sex beasts
You joke yet you're literally on here asking if someone is coming onto you because she's being friendly "
Yeah... But he isnt. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?"
Yes she wants you  |
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"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?Yes she wants you "
Just heard we are going on a business trip abroad together. Will let you know…… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I probably wouldn't know I was doing it.
Don't shit where you eat.
Noted X"
Dont eat the shite. The dream bubble dont last long. People change with emotions quikly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Be careful. In my experience some women around an office are bored and looking for validation. I'd give it a miss."
As in most places,take the top up and onto the next. Its really real.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It used to be a lot of relationships started at work and it was no big deal but now everyone seems a lot more reticent to make the first move.
In your situation just push back a little until you know she can feel you and see if she moves away.
"
A minefield everywhere
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"If I was standing next to a man, my arm would touch him first.
Why is her arm not next to you ?"
Exactly, she angles in to me so her boob touches my arm. I am tall if that helps explain?
Her arm is behind mine |
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"If I was standing next to a man, my arm would touch him first.
Why is her arm not next to you ?
Exactly, she angles in to me so her boob touches my arm. I am tall if that helps explain?
Her arm is behind mine"
I do think she likes you a lot and you should give her what she wants |
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"If I was standing next to a man, my arm would touch him first.
Why is her arm not next to you ?
Exactly, she angles in to me so her boob touches my arm. I am tall if that helps explain?
Her arm is behind mine"
Assuming that she is aware of what she's doing and it's her way of coming on to you, how do you propose to move things forward? |
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"If I was standing next to a man, my arm would touch him first.
Why is her arm not next to you ?
Exactly, she angles in to me so her boob touches my arm. I am tall if that helps explain?
Her arm is behind mine
Assuming that she is aware of what she's doing and it's her way of coming on to you, how do you propose to move things forward?"
I think I have decided that even if she does make a move I won’t do anything,. I did think about doing the “one time only thing” but we all know that’s not going to work with the amount of time we see each other at work.
Sorry it’s not more exciting |
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"If I was standing next to a man, my arm would touch him first.
Why is her arm not next to you ?
Exactly, she angles in to me so her boob touches my arm. I am tall if that helps explain?
Her arm is behind mine
I do think she likes you a lot and you should give her what she wants "
Hehe |
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"If I was standing next to a man, my arm would touch him first.
Why is her arm not next to you ?
Exactly, she angles in to me so her boob touches my arm. I am tall if that helps explain?
Her arm is behind mine"
Are you showing her something ? Like your phone or are you reading work papers together ?
I'm not understanding why she would 'angle' into you and put her arm behind yours.... |
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"If I was standing next to a man, my arm would touch him first.
Why is her arm not next to you ?
Exactly, she angles in to me so her boob touches my arm. I am tall if that helps explain?
Her arm is behind mine
Assuming that she is aware of what she's doing and it's her way of coming on to you, how do you propose to move things forward?
I think I have decided that even if she does make a move I won’t do anything,. I did think about doing the “one time only thing” but we all know that’s not going to work with the amount of time we see each other at work.
Sorry it’s not more exciting"
Seems sensible to me.
I'd love to know why she's doing it though. I mean there's subtle then there's downright cryptic! |
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To squish my boobs on a man who is taller than me from the side with my arm behind his , I'd have to bend my knee ( everyone would ) and LEAN in to touch with my boobs.... i'd near be licking your shoulder or knock you over..
It's HIGHLY difficult to do accidentally!
Ive tried on the wall and on my friend.... it has to be purposed but that still doesn't mean it's a come on.
Take a step back and let her fall over or simply say ....... too close Marjory.. too close. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Just thought I would sound you lot out on something that is happening to me.
I have a work colleague who attends quite a few social work events with me.
Every time we do these events and are standing next to each other chatting I notice she is standing really close to me and pushing her boob against my arm.
I keep telling myself that it’s accidental and it’s because she has large breasts.
Would she know she is doing this?
Am I being naive?Yes she wants you
Just heard we are going on a business trip abroad together. Will let you know……"
omg..... Same room..... Bosses keeping costs down?  |
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