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Embarrassing injuries
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
I was playing horsey rides and wheelbarrow races with the kids last night and have totally buggered up my wrist. Looks like it's only left hand wanks for my husband this week 
Have you injured yourself in a silly way lately? Go on, spill the beans, make me feel less stupid  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I broke a rib falling off a kids scooter because I was showing off once.
In front of a dozen people who stood pissing themselves laughing rather than offering any assistance.
Bastards.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am, quite literally, always injuring myself! Sat on my chair Monday, got my wrist stuck between my chair and desk.
I sit on the little ones bunk bed and usually nearly knock myself out when I stand up!
I’m a liability!
Mrs |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"I am, quite literally, always injuring myself! Sat on my chair Monday, got my wrist stuck between my chair and desk.
I sit on the little ones bunk bed and usually nearly knock myself out when I stand up!
I’m a liability!
Mrs "
So easily done. Bunk beds are evil! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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About 3 years ago I was working in a quarry and hear a squeaking noise coming from a conveyor belt drum, thought the bearing was squeaking or a stone was stuck,
Stepped into have a closer look, missed the steel handled rake leaning up, stood on the end of that and the rake handle lept forward and smacked me in the mouth. It was like a cartoon moment  
That resulted in two shattered front teeth. And both needing to be rebuilt and crowned. |
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There was this one time I'd been drinking and I thought it would be great to jump from the hallway into the kitchen forgetting it was a step down. I banged my head really hard on the door frame and fell flat on my back.
Looked like someone hit me with a baseball bat |
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I was out one morning for breakfast with my then fwb and husband and we were just walking along as you do... my left foot managed to find a perfect foot sized hole in the pavement and I went down like a sack if potatoes  neither of them caught me.... I had quite a spectacular bruise on my leg by the time we got home ( ) |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Once broke up with an girl because she fucked everything with 2 legs, so when I told her she attacked me with a sword"
I had that once, but as there were no swords in the flat she used a cast iron wok.
Not sure a sword wouldn't have caused less damage tbh.... 
A |
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As a kid I tried to copy my grandad, I threw a garden fork into the ground. Only I put it through my foot, instead of missing the foot like he did.
Using a band saw in my garage, I was cutting some wood, when my hand slipped and the blade kissed my finger. It took a nice chunk out of my finger, but luckily a serious inury. |
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Yes I was about to perform a press up at a social recently. When someone seized upon my vulnerable state and couldn't resist humping my arse, I can't blame him. In my over excited state I forgot my knee was still weak (old injury) and tried to get up on it. It folded on me like it was made of mashed potato.
It complimented the ambiance of the scenario well, when I collapsed. So it was worth it for shits and giggles.
But fuck me did it hurt the next day. I was walking like a cowboy. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Yes I was about to perform a press up at a social recently. When someone seized upon my vulnerable state and couldn't resist humping my arse, I can't blame him. In my over excited state I forgot my knee was still weak (old injury) and tried to get up on it. It folded on me like it was made of mashed potato.
It complimented the ambiance of the scenario well, when I collapsed. So it was worth it for shits and giggles.
But fuck me did it hurt the next day. I was walking like a cowboy."
This is why at socials I never do naked press ups and always carry lube. 
Thoughts and prayers for your bumhole. 
A |
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My 1st and last attempt at anal, my ex apparently experienced and pushed the subject so much I caved tried to go in dry several times and left two huge tears around my arse, that wasn't a pleasant visit to the Dr.
Told him to find his anal elsewhere but he wouldn't pushed it so much I was just eventually turned off by him all together.
Mrs |
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"Yes I was about to perform a press up at a social recently. When someone seized upon my vulnerable state and couldn't resist humping my arse, I can't blame him. In my over excited state I forgot my knee was still weak (old injury) and tried to get up on it. It folded on me like it was made of mashed potato.
It complimented the ambiance of the scenario well, when I collapsed. So it was worth it for shits and giggles.
But fuck me did it hurt the next day. I was walking like a cowboy.
This is why at socials I never do naked press ups and always carry lube.
Thoughts and prayers for your bumhole.
A"
Life is a learning experience. Lube will certainly be on my shopping list from this day forth. |
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"My 1st and last attempt at anal, my ex apparently experienced and pushed the subject so much I caved tried to go in dry several times and left two huge tears around my arse, that wasn't a pleasant visit to the Dr.
Told him to find his anal elsewhere but he wouldn't pushed it so much I was just eventually turned off by him all together.
Mrs "
What an absolute know he was! First rule of anal is consent and lube... no one should ever force you to do something like that. Anal if done right, ie starting gently with fingers etc and plenty of lube can be very pleasurable..I'm sorry he was such a dickhead to you x |
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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago
Wellingborough |
Not so much the cause being embarrassing but the result looked it... put a knife in the palm of my hand whilst carving and resulted in a h pretty large gash  . Being single, a bloke and not wanting to go to hospital, I cleaned it as best as I could and sent a pic to the ex asking what she thought I should do. She replied back, shocked and a little concerned but also busy laughing as she thought I'd sent her a naughty pic of another lady
I still chuckle now and must admit it did look perfectly like a woman's intimate parts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in the army and when I was a sprog I woke up pissed but knew I had an inspection that morning. Just as I was about to head out the door my shirt collar was sticking up.
Switched the iron on but couldn't be arsed taking it off. Waiting till it was piping hot and then proceeded to try and iron flat the collar.
This didn't work as it was being stubborn, it needed steam, and steam is what I gave it. Whilst pressed against my chest!
This resulted in nice round blister points on my chest in the pattern of my iron.
One of many stupid injuries. |
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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago
Wallasey |
When my hubby was a young guy, before he met me, he dislocated two of his middle fingers on one hand. It was very painful he said.
It was made much worse because it happened whilst fingerings one of his mates aunts.
True story, most of his rugby pals know the story because it happened early hours on a Saturday morning and he rang his sides Captain to tell him he was injured and couldn't play.
Unfortunately for him, his brother, who was partially responsible, had already told the Captain what had happened whilst my hubby had been in A&E. Anyway the Captain told my hubby that dislocating your fingers up one of your team mates aunts did not qualify as an injury for rugby and he had to play.
His mates still bring it up, much to my hubby's embarrassment.
The whole story is much funnier when he has had a drink and goes into all the sordid details. Mrs xxx |
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"My 1st and last attempt at anal, my ex apparently experienced and pushed the subject so much I caved tried to go in dry several times and left two huge tears around my arse, that wasn't a pleasant visit to the Dr.
Told him to find his anal elsewhere but he wouldn't pushed it so much I was just eventually turned off by him all together.
Mrs
What an absolute know he was! First rule of anal is consent and lube... no one should ever force you to do something like that. Anal if done right, ie starting gently with fingers etc and plenty of lube can be very pleasurable..I'm sorry he was such a dickhead to you x"
It's ok, one of those things seems I put my trust in the wrong person, but thank you x |
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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago
Wallasey |
"My 1st and last attempt at anal, my ex apparently experienced and pushed the subject so much I caved tried to go in dry several times and left two huge tears around my arse, that wasn't a pleasant visit to the Dr.
Told him to find his anal elsewhere but he wouldn't pushed it so much I was just eventually turned off by him all together.
Mrs
What an absolute know he was! First rule of anal is consent and lube... no one should ever force you to do something like that. Anal if done right, ie starting gently with fingers etc and plenty of lube can be very pleasurable..I'm sorry he was such a dickhead to you x
It's ok, one of those things seems I put my trust in the wrong person, but thank you x"
That must have been terrible, some people are just pigs xxx |
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By *ickshawed OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"There was this one time I'd been drinking and I thought it would be great to jump from the hallway into the kitchen forgetting it was a step down. I banged my head really hard on the door frame and fell flat on my back.
Looked like someone hit me with a baseball bat "
I did something similar at university. The kitchen was a mess and I climbed over a chair and jumped to get out the doorway. But I jumped too high and bashed my head on the doorframe. I just lay in the hall and told everyone I was fine as they walked over me. The joy of being 18 |
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