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Would you change what you are looking for, for another person?
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
Sometimes I get offers of what I am not looking for, but I would fancy the person who are asking it.
I find it to be a tricky one as it is not what you are looking for, but it kinda still is a match.
What would you do in such a situation, would you change for another person and go with what they want, but not necessarily what you want?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I get offers of what I am not looking for, but I would fancy the person who are asking it.
I find it to be a tricky one as it is not what you are looking for, but it kinda still is a match.
What would you do in such a situation, would you change for another person and go with what they want, but not necessarily what you want? "
First of all only if you feel 100% comfortable about it - whatever it is , and the person, and it’s not going to come back and bite you then why not live and let live.
You have a choice you can ask for a compromise, or you can look at it as an opportunity for a new experience.
I would make it clear to them though that it’s not usually your thing but you’re tempted, just to manage their expectations, and to not take them by surprise if you change your mind before / during |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just don’t be that person who goes in with an ulterior motive though. I e to try a change their mind/ shoe horn it into something more along the lines of what you want .
That’s super annoying whn people do that after you’ve been up front open and honest about what you want, and someone has agreed it would work fo them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a tricky one for us as we regularly discuss and change our boundaries so what we might not be interested in now, we could be a few months down the line.
So we tend to have an open mind but there’s some stuff that will always be a no go.
Mr |
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By *r.SJMan
over a year ago
Wellingborough |
I wouldn't want or expect someone else to change but dependant on the scenario and if some other connecting is there... then very much open minded and life is for living etc etc.
Probably helps that I like to please though |
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"Sometimes I get offers of what I am not looking for, but I would fancy the person who are asking it.
I find it to be a tricky one as it is not what you are looking for, but it kinda still is a match.
What would you do in such a situation, would you change for another person and go with what they want, but not necessarily what you want? "
I have been in these situations a few times. Generally I find it a bit weird. Kind of hovering around trying to get things right, to make it good for all others concerned. Not getting any real vibe from it myself and it all ending with me wondering whether the other people involved really enjoyed it.
It is certainly not something I really enjoy getting involved with. But I do like making people happy |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Generally no. Because it wouldn't be very satisfying for me and after I'd feel a bit meh if that makes sense.
I can think of a couple of situations where I might. It wouldn't be me changing for another person, I refuse to do that. If they don't like or want me as I am, why should I change to fit their fantasy? But, soft limits I might reconsider with the right person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have experienced what you describe op, my absolute main No is smokers and I’ve had fems, single and couples, reach out but I just don’t meet smokers. There’s been a select few that are my exact type with that one exception but I’ve always thought it would be unfair on them if I was to try and ignore something I really don’t like.
We have to accept the person and respect them enough as a full package of who they are, not just nit-pick at certain aspects of them and deem them acceptable.
I’m saying that, I have thrown a strop when I’ve met non smokers who are clearly smokers |
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No.
99.9% of the population don't meet my current requirements. My requirements aren't changing.
I also don't know if anyone means it if they say they do meet my requirements.
So... Fuck it. Legs closed. |
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Maybe i went out for salad but there was a really good pasta on the specials menu.
What you are looking for , and what you end up with are not always the same but can be equally enjoyable.
Now if you were gluten free the special probably isnt for you (if you get my food vs boundaries metaphor)
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It depends on if meeting whether we will participate in only 1 thing, which I'm not particularly interested in doing, or if there's a range of activities we'll do. If 99% of the meet would be the thing that's of no or low interest, I'd not meet. I'd also be unlikely to meet someone who isn't especially interested in my needs and doesn't show much flexibility.
If the activity is atrocious, I'm not meeting either, if it's non-negotiable. If it's tedious and we do other things that I want, for most of the time, I'd be inclined to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on what it is.
I’m currently looking for a partner. Partners are tricky to find.
On my search I’ve been offered a spit roast. Now was that what I was looking for? No. Will I take them up on it as I continue on my journey, absolutely.
I keep my mind on my goal but life does take meandering paths and occasionally the thing you weren’t looking for turns out to be the thing you actually really needed. You just didn’t know it.
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By *929Man
over a year ago
newcastle |
No not now did in the past and the differences became too much, one of her parting words was “all you do is work and go to gym and that’s not for me” she just liked going out and getting pissed all the time and neither of us wanted to change our lifestyle choices to suit the other so it didn’t last |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I get offers of what I am not looking for, but I would fancy the person who are asking it.
I find it to be a tricky one as it is not what you are looking for, but it kinda still is a match.
What would you do in such a situation, would you change for another person and go with what they want, but not necessarily what you want? "
No. But also yes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think men are more likely to do this. I am specific on what am looking for and on my profile and in messages. But always find men are coy when you ask them the question what are you looking for in the bedroom.
They will usually come back with discreet fun, which could mean anything. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"It’s a tricky one for us as we regularly discuss and change our boundaries so what we might not be interested in now, we could be a few months down the line.
So we tend to have an open mind but there’s some stuff that will always be a no go.
Mr"
That is good you have an open mind about it and yes, it is good to discuss about it as well |
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No...I won't change my boundaries
for a person and I wouldn't expect anyone else to either.
But still open minded to try / do new things and being challenged. And that is something I'd look for in someone else.
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"No Shag
I won't change for a soul and have many men, I am sexually attracted to in friendzones from it, I need all the boxes ticked to enter a new sexual friendship "
Hi comtessa, you are right there and yes, having all the boxes ticked is good as well |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Generally no. Because it wouldn't be very satisfying for me and after I'd feel a bit meh if that makes sense.
I can think of a couple of situations where I might. It wouldn't be me changing for another person, I refuse to do that. If they don't like or want me as I am, why should I change to fit their fantasy? But, soft limits I might reconsider with the right person."
That is good points and yes, it would seem that it would be to be part of their fantasy, rather than what we are looking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was starting to sway on what I want as noted in my profile...like absolutely not entertaining one on ones. Then I got chatting with someone and gave it a try ...sadly it only cemented my standing as to why I can't be arsed with one on one.
Going forward not swaying for anyone..I want what I want and if our not offering that just f**k off kindly. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I was starting to sway on what I want as noted in my profile...like absolutely not entertaining one on ones. Then I got chatting with someone and gave it a try ...sadly it only cemented my standing as to why I can't be arsed with one on one.
Going forward not swaying for anyone..I want what I want and if our not offering that just f**k off kindly."
Yes. I see, you tried it there and now you are sticking to what you want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was starting to sway on what I want as noted in my profile...like absolutely not entertaining one on ones. Then I got chatting with someone and gave it a try ...sadly it only cemented my standing as to why I can't be arsed with one on one.
Going forward not swaying for anyone..I want what I want and if our not offering that just f**k off kindly.Yes. I see, you tried it there and now you are sticking to what you want "
yes def OP one on one has been a shit show |
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"Sometimes I get offers of what I am not looking for, but I would fancy the person who are asking it.
I find it to be a tricky one as it is not what you are looking for, but it kinda still is a match.
What would you do in such a situation, would you change for another person and go with what they want, but not necessarily what you want? "
Probably, I'm pretty fluid in my attraction. |
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By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I was starting to sway on what I want as noted in my profile...like absolutely not entertaining one on ones. Then I got chatting with someone and gave it a try ...sadly it only cemented my standing as to why I can't be arsed with one on one.
Going forward not swaying for anyone..I want what I want and if our not offering that just f**k off kindly.Yes. I see, you tried it there and now you are sticking to what you want yes def OP one on one has been a shit show"
Yes, it seems it have been that as well |
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