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What’s the inclusivity like in here

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

In your opinion

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There are no cliques on Fab!

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By *ora the explorerWoman  over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t think I read enough threads to notice to be honest. I tend to just read the title most of the time and comment. If I do a thread myself I like to think I include and try to reply to everyone.

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By *heekyDemandCouple  over a year ago

Leicester

(Mr)

When I was a single man I was accepted and even commented on by people I would consider forum royalty, so my experience was very positive

(backbydemand)

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By *dmundwilsonMan  over a year ago

Llandudno

Variable just like teal world.

Some (in) decent souls tKe time

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast

Some are lauded for being inclusive while at the same time from my perspective they are anything but.

That's not based on personal experience of being excluded but just a general observation.

It's impossible to include everyone but very easy to exclude those you don't want to include.

Some are just more subtle than others.

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By *rHotNottsMan  over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think it’s very good, there’s a few kids in the playground but they are very much the minority

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast


"I don’t think I read enough threads to notice to be honest. I tend to just read the title most of the time and comment. If I do a thread myself I like to think I include and try to reply to everyone. "

On a busy forum day I might read 6 threads and comment on 2 so my observations are spread over a long period of time.

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By *astandFeistyCouple  over a year ago

Bournemouth


"Some are lauded for being inclusive while at the same time from my perspective they are anything but.

That's not based on personal experience of being excluded but just a general observation.

It's impossible to include everyone but very easy to exclude those you don't want to include.

Some are just more subtle than others. "

Fully agree with this

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

Ooo Pickle you're going there!

I think it's not great at times. Other times it's fantastic.

I think it's easy to think of inclusivity in terms of people responding to everyone on a thread, interacting with people not based on their desire to bump uglies but on the merit of their post.

But something I've noticed more and more? If a poster comments disagreeing with something that's proven popular in a positive sense, they'll be met with "well if you don't like it, fuck off" in essence. That's not inclusivity in my mind. That's creating an echo chamber of a circle jerk.

I think people could be more inclusive on here.

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By *ittlebirdWoman  over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I think it’s a little like life outside of Fab OP.

Some are truly inclusive… some just appear to be.

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Mayfair

Most struggle to spell that word.

Those who can spell it are oblivious to its meaning.

Those who know what it means proffer to offer lip service.

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land

I don't think inclusivity necessarily means replying to everyone on a thread or such like. And I wouldn't want it to be as it would put people off starting ones if they felt obliged to answer everyone.

I think there are some who too quickly jump on those who've expressed themselves badly, without giving them a chance to rectify their post. Some of the language used in some posts here is far from inclusive, which does sadden me.

But I guess it's a reflection of society itself, there are good and bad people everywhere.

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By *lym4realCouple  over a year ago

plymouth

Fab is just a reflection of the outside world most days ..good/bad/indifferent but can be quite clicky where we are and afew cliques until that is they get bored or the numbers fall...

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By *inger_SnapWoman  over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I think it's pretty much the same as anywhere else, with regards to forum posting... You'll always get the regulars, who have little convos to themselves, the one or 2 who set about derailing a thread. But mostly people are welcoming and try to include others.

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By *lephantisMan  over a year ago

Oxford

This might be one of those mo.ents Meli mentions, where I'm told to fuck off, and fair enough, but I have mixed feelings about 'inclusivity' on a social site. It feels rather like those primary-school attempts to force everyone to be friends,which ends up causing conflict and anxiety in many children.

Of course no one should be excluded for something they are born with...sex, skin colour, etc. And of course consciously cliquey, deliberately exclusive, Mean Girls type behaviour is petty and grim. But - maybe this just shows how fortunate and oblivious I am - I see very little of the latter here (though a depressing amount of the former, especially racism).

I think we all discriminate between those we like and agree with, and those we don't. I don't consciously exclude those who aren't my friends, but I'm sure, unconsciously, I respond to them more readily and more fully. And though when I'm around I try to be welcoming to genuinely open and friendly new people, I don't feel the least obligation to be nice to those who blunder in rudely, with all the grace of a hippo on ice.

Perhaps the distinction is between those, like me, who think it is reasonable to merely not be actively exclusive, and that people will in time find their people...and those who think Fab would be a happier and more interesting place if we actively reached out, consciously looking for those who challenge us to be more accepting or broad-minded.

I can honestly see both sides.

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By *altenkommandoMan  over a year ago

milton keynes

I’d take inclusivity to also include the ability to listen to another side of the argument and agree to disagree, and in many respects that simply doesn’t happen. If, like me, you voted to leave the EU and you voice that opinion on here you will eventually end up being rounded on and bullied in the forums. I also see the usual starting positions of “Tory scum” and the ropes of the NHS being underfunded etc etc without any real or rigerous debate on any of the key issues, just a form of triablism and moral superiority from some people on one side of the argument.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This is a trap.. out.

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By *astandFeistyCouple  over a year ago

Bournemouth


"I’d take inclusivity to also include the ability to listen to another side of the argument and agree to disagree, and in many respects that simply doesn’t happen. If, like me, you voted to leave the EU and you voice that opinion on here you will eventually end up being rounded on and bullied in the forums. I also see the usual starting positions of “Tory scum” and the ropes of the NHS being underfunded etc etc without any real or rigerous debate on any of the key issues, just a form of triablism and moral superiority from some people on one side of the argument. "

Join us in the politics forum

It's very much like you describe but fun

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this "

I agree.

A

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

This I'll actually take the sensible option and not comment, I have my views that I've aired in the past and those have not changed. instead I'll follow and see the outcome. ..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I find the problem with inclusivity it that’s it’s actually a gift not an entitlement, and people forget that. There are people on here who don’t want/like xyz that’s fine. No one likes or is into everyone. Don’t like me fine pass on by, I’m not losing any sleep over it. I don’t want inclusivity, it’s a fake condition created by a sense of obligation. Like who and what you like, leave the rest in peace.

Rant done. Where’s my coffee..

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

I can't fuck everyone, Pickle.

My legs would fall off.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 20/06/23 11:46:55]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not great if you’re a non-forum-famous single fella trying to make an impression tbf

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By *lephantisMan  over a year ago

Oxford


"I find the problem with inclusivity it that’s it’s actually a gift not an entitlement, and people forget that. There are people on here who don’t want/like xyz that’s fine. No one likes or is into everyone. Don’t like me fine pass on by, I’m not losing any sleep over it. I don’t want inclusivity, it’s a fake condition created by a sense of obligation. Like who and what you like, leave the rest in peace.

Rant done. Where’s my coffee.."

I wish I could have put it with such clarity.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

I think overall it's generally inclusive, as a newbie I loved the forums and found most people friendly, you can't reply to everyone and I can see how some feel left out, more so the men they seem to get skipped on a lot of the posts especially those would you to the person above types.

I have to say I've never heard the world clique used to much as I do on fab, it seems a little school ground and super irritating, just because people get along and chat in the forums doesn't make it any less inclusive or a "clique" I've never shouted clique because no one's replied to me I find it really odd.

Mrs

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds


"Not great if you’re a non-forum-famous single fella trying to make an impression tbf"

See this is another bug of mine, who on earth is fab famous? No one.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Not great if you’re a non-forum-famous single fella trying to make an impression tbf

See this is another bug of mine, who on earth is fab famous? No one.

Mrs "

It my way of saying “clique” without actually saying “clique”

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds


"Not great if you’re a non-forum-famous single fella trying to make an impression tbf

See this is another bug of mine, who on earth is fab famous? No one.

Mrs

It my way of saying “clique” without actually saying “clique” "

Oh god it's that word again

Mrs

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By *heekyDemandCouple  over a year ago

Leicester


"Not great if you’re a non-forum-famous single fella trying to make an impression tbf

See this is another bug of mine, who on earth is fab famous? No one.

Mrs "

I think you are Fab famous, you are one of the aforementioned forum royalty

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Laughable

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds


"Not great if you’re a non-forum-famous single fella trying to make an impression tbf

See this is another bug of mine, who on earth is fab famous? No one.

Mrs

I think you are Fab famous, you are one of the aforementioned forum royalty "

I'm definitely not, I hope I'm not, I don't want to be, please remove crown and demote asap.

I don't think anyone is just some people post a lot so they are recognised more.

Mrs

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By *ex HolesMan  over a year ago

Up North

As a demographic I’d say it’s exactly the same as the real world

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By *heekyDemandCouple  over a year ago

Leicester


"Not great if you’re a non-forum-famous single fella trying to make an impression tbf

See this is another bug of mine, who on earth is fab famous? No one.

Mrs

I think you are Fab famous, you are one of the aforementioned forum royalty

I'm definitely not, I hope I'm not, I don't want to be, please remove crown and demote asap.

I don't think anyone is just some people post a lot so they are recognised more.

Mrs "

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple  over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

I must admit that sometimes it does bother me when a small number of people start threads then will only engage with a small number of people.

Imho I think if you start a thread you should be prepared to engage with a wider number

Other than that the group socials I have attended have been great

So it’s a little of both

Marc

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry

Does inclusivity mean tolerance as well. Because if it does, my answer is absolutely not very, needs improvement.

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By *heekyDemandCouple  over a year ago

Leicester

(Mr)

9 months ago as a single, I saw the forums and how frequently some people posted and was initially intimidated. But, I engaged, posted thoughtful debate, reasoned arguement and proposed filthy ideas. I got recognised and remembered. You get out what you put in and even though I'm unlikely to meet them I connected with people I genuinely like purely from their personality. Calling out RedForDanger specifically here, I was at a low point and she picked me up. Means a lot.

(backbydemand)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Does inclusivity mean tolerance as well. Because if it does, my answer is absolutely not very, needs improvement."

It doesn’t. I tolerate celery, I’ll never buy it. Tolerated and included are entirely separate things.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think the first couple of answers in every post determines how inclusive the thread is. If you're backed and supported then more people will jump on that and unfortunately, the same if if the first reply is dismissive or sarcastic, the thread can derail very quickly so it's very much a hive mind.

I do also think inclusivity has to be earned in terms of being replied to which can be tough for newer posters as I genuinely believe the more you show off your personality, the more likely people will want to interact with you.

Of course you get some people having their own convos in a thread but they're easy enough to ignore and post around, but they will happen between people who are more familiar with each other and that's not going to change.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I sometimes talk to the boring men as well as the funny ones. That's inclusive.

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli

I'll interact with pretty much everyone, even ones I don't always get on with

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I sometimes talk to the boring men as well as the funny ones. That's inclusive.

"

As long as you talk to the boring ones and then the funny ones to counteract the boredom, unless you're trying to get to sleep

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think it does vary but for the most part I do think the lounge is more welcoming now than it was previously and that's certainly been my experience this time round.

I try to include everyone if I start a thread but sometimes it moves quite fast so things get missed. It isn't intentional

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast


"I think the first couple of answers in every post determines how inclusive the thread is. If you're backed and supported then more people will jump on that and unfortunately, the same if if the first reply is dismissive or sarcastic, the thread can derail very quickly so it's very much a hive mind.

I do also think inclusivity has to be earned in terms of being replied to which can be tough for newer posters as I genuinely believe the more you show off your personality, the more likely people will want to interact with you.

Of course you get some people having their own convos in a thread but they're easy enough to ignore and post around, but they will happen between people who are more familiar with each other and that's not going to change."

I agree with this.

When I used to start threads they got very little traction and I've only ever had one that had more than 30 comments.

Some much more productive forumites have taken it upon themselves to start exact replicas of a few of my threads on the same day as a form of forum dick measuring and they would usually get 150+ replies.

It's sad that some need that level of validation but because they've been here a while and are seen as "popular" people tend to overlook their little foibles.

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry

Hmnn, I think from some of the comments here, inclusivity means different things to different people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this "

I know. But funny init

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan  over a year ago

Glasgow / London


"I don't think anyone is [forum famous] just some people post a lot so they are recognised more.

Mrs "

I totally, completely and enthusiastically agree.

If you change ‘forum famous’ to ‘forum visible’ or ‘forum regular’ it makes a lot more sense and feels less deliberate/exclusionary.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Inclusive in terms of welcoming people into friendship groups, or along the lines of intersectional privilege?

...

Well.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

It's I'm inclusively blocked by all males females Tv's I'm included by the lot of them

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init "

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Depends if you’re a woman or not, and depends if you’re hot or not

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By *aitonelMan  over a year ago

Liverpool

It's a god damn fucking minefield.

Good luck, if you manage to navigate it, or weather the storm it's alright and not so bad. If you don't... Well, nice knowing ya.

Think that sums it up.

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"Depends if you’re a woman or not, and depends if you’re hot or not"

Just depends on attitude more than anything I think

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on. "

Coffee is better than tea right?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right? "

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

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By *ustamanMan  over a year ago

weymouth

I seem to spend most of my time on the outside looking in, try to get involved but often feel blanked - most of my posts die a short quick death . Oh dear I'm sounding sorry for my self, not the intention just the reality of fab fora and the cliques therein

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud "

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'd say we're all a fairly welcoming, inclusive bunch on the whole.

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'd say we're all a fairly welcoming, inclusive bunch on the whole.

"

On the hole?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread "

Some of us just don't need the caffeine fix

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds


"I seem to spend most of my time on the outside looking in, try to get involved but often feel blanked - most of my posts die a short quick death . Oh dear I'm sounding sorry for my self, not the intention just the reality of fab fora and the cliques therein "

That's a shame I did click your green arrow to see your forum posts but there didn't seem to be any you'd made.

Mrs

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan  over a year ago

Wigan

It all depends on how you look at it,

It's totally inclusive here in the sense that everyone and anyone is allowed to be here, however, people are people, some choose to be inclusive of others and some don't, so it's both inclusive and exclusive here at the same time. Simple really

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

Some of us just don't need the caffeine fix "

I don't want to end up in jail

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By *aitonelMan  over a year ago

Liverpool


"It all depends on how you look at it,

It's totally inclusive here in the sense that everyone and anyone is allowed to be here, however, people are people, some choose to be inclusive of others and some don't, so it's both inclusive and exclusive here at the same time. Simple really "

Same as anywhere really. No community is as inclusive as they like to believe and preach they are.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It certainly isn't the forum strong point.

Though in a society becoming more and more divisive, can we expect anything else?

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By *ustamanMan  over a year ago

weymouth


"I seem to spend most of my time on the outside looking in, try to get involved but often feel blanked - most of my posts die a short quick death . Oh dear I'm sounding sorry for my self, not the intention just the reality of fab fora and the cliques therein

That's a shame I did click your green arrow to see your forum posts but there didn't seem to be any you'd made.

Mrs "

Told you they died a rapid death. I have started some but they rarely gain any traction

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

Some of us just don't need the caffeine fix

I don't want to end up in jail "

I'd visit don't worry

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By *oyahandrussCouple  over a year ago

Nr Rugby

It is a difficult one.I would say like normal outside of here.There are times when we post & seem to get totally ignored.There are definitely the forums regular group who have got to know each other quite well & do chat among or reply to each other.

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"Depends if you’re a woman or not, and depends if you’re hot or not"

We just need tits and to never show our faces

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"Depends if you’re a woman or not, and depends if you’re hot or not

We just need tits and to never show our faces "

Or feet, feet work quite well too.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Depends if you’re a woman or not, and depends if you’re hot or not

We just need tits and to never show our faces "

Exactly. Isn’t it wonderful

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"Depends if you’re a woman or not, and depends if you’re hot or not

We just need tits and to never show our faces

Exactly. Isn’t it wonderful "

So glad I'm a woman (at times).

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds


"I seem to spend most of my time on the outside looking in, try to get involved but often feel blanked - most of my posts die a short quick death . Oh dear I'm sounding sorry for my self, not the intention just the reality of fab fora and the cliques therein

That's a shame I did click your green arrow to see your forum posts but there didn't seem to be any you'd made.

Mrs

Told you they died a rapid death. I have started some but they rarely gain any traction "

All I can suggest is keep trying, they aren't showing on your forum posts so they must be fairly old.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init "

Are you trolling? Mr Pickle.

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

Some of us just don't need the caffeine fix

I don't want to end up in jail

I'd visit don't worry "

Would you bring me cake?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm a cunt to everyone...proper inclusive me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I seem to spend most of my time on the outside looking in, try to get involved but often feel blanked - most of my posts die a short quick death . Oh dear I'm sounding sorry for my self, not the intention just the reality of fab fora and the cliques therein

That's a shame I did click your green arrow to see your forum posts but there didn't seem to be any you'd made.

Mrs "

In that case, assume he means posts made, rather than threads started.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on. "

don’t take me too seriously

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Are you trolling? Mr Pickle. "

https://youtu.be/xJFiByfiRTA

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By *ustamanMan  over a year ago

weymouth


"I seem to spend most of my time on the outside looking in, try to get involved but often feel blanked - most of my posts die a short quick death . Oh dear I'm sounding sorry for my self, not the intention just the reality of fab fora and the cliques therein

That's a shame I did click your green arrow to see your forum posts but there didn't seem to be any you'd made.

Mrs

In that case, assume he means posts made, rather than threads started. "

Nope definitely started some threads

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading

Certain threads are the opposite of inclusive usually those who is hot send a message to your crush etc. So avoid those if it bother you. Other posters go out of their way to include everyone who posts.

I think newbies tend to be excluded the most.

In the end fab can be challenging if you are sensitive and the forums can make it worse. I just try to not take any of it seriously and not attach any self worth to how many messages I get or who responds to the infrequent threads I post. It's so meaningless.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

My opinion is obviously that this place isn’t inclusive. But I’m still here so just gotta charge it to the game. Interesting to read perspectives but I’m not going to get into long discussions or reply to everyone. Sometimes I just like to read different perspectives

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

don’t take me too seriously "

Pigs will fly long before anyone does that

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Are you trolling? Mr Pickle. "

I mean my response there is an inbetweeners reference:

https://youtu.be/sBjTndy9cm8

But no I’m not trolling with the thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

don’t take me too seriously

Pigs will fly long before anyone does that "

Honestly I think people do. I’d hate me if I took me seriously

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

don’t take me too seriously

Pigs will fly long before anyone does that

Honestly I think people do. I’d hate me if I took me seriously "

Keep the sarcasm alive, I know I do

About 5% of what I write is serious I reckon

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I seem to spend most of my time on the outside looking in, try to get involved but often feel blanked - most of my posts die a short quick death . Oh dear I'm sounding sorry for my self, not the intention just the reality of fab fora and the cliques therein

That's a shame I did click your green arrow to see your forum posts but there didn't seem to be any you'd made.

Mrs

In that case, assume he means posts made, rather than threads started.

Nope definitely started some threads "

I think only an ex amount of previous threads commented upon show via the green arrow, or personal threads posted to.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

Some of us just don't need the caffeine fix

I don't want to end up in jail

I'd visit don't worry

Would you bring me cake? "

Obviously

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

It all depends on how much one craves to be accepted by a bunch of ppl that your never actually going to meet. Well a very small percentage of anyway, as most will never venture away from the protection of being behind a laptop a phone screen.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread "

I dare you

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

Some of us just don't need the caffeine fix

I don't want to end up in jail

I'd visit don't worry

Would you bring me cake?

Obviously "

That would cheer me up a bit, hopefully they never ban coffee though and I won't go to jail

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

I dare you "

I don't think she would care to be honest

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By *ustamanMan  over a year ago

weymouth


"I seem to spend most of my time on the outside looking in, try to get involved but often feel blanked - most of my posts die a short quick death . Oh dear I'm sounding sorry for my self, not the intention just the reality of fab fora and the cliques therein

That's a shame I did click your green arrow to see your forum posts but there didn't seem to be any you'd made.

Mrs

In that case, assume he means posts made, rather than threads started.

Nope definitely started some threads

I think only an ex amount of previous threads commented upon show via the green arrow, or personal threads posted to.

"

It's a conspiracy I tell you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

I dare you

I don't think she would care to be honest "

Fucking crack on, I'd join in

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

I dare you

I don't think she would care to be honest

Fucking crack on, I'd join in "

You just want to be famous

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

I dare you

I don't think she would care to be honest

Fucking crack on, I'd join in

You just want to be famous "

How do you know I'm not already?

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By *esmond and Molly JonesCouple  over a year ago

Watford


"In your opinion "

Why does everybody have to be 'included'?

Nobody is barred from here, so if they want to be here they can be, and if they don't want to be here, then that's their choice.

It's like the debate about the countryside being not ethnically diverse enough. What nonsense!

The countryside is open to everybody, regardless of race or class, yet there are campaigns about to 'encourage' people from diverse backgrounds to visit the countryside.

Surely if people want to go, they will. Why do we have to shoehorn in diversity at every turn?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I find the forum interesting, in that it comes natural to me to analyse, to observe.

It's not something I aim to do, just comes naturally.

It can become apparent pretty quick to which forum user may drift away or become unlos. To which will be ignored, cast away or even torn.

To which will be tolerated, with some eventually embraced, and to which ones will fit right in, rising amongst the clan that some consider a clique.

Then noticing how their posts begin to adapt, some leaning towards and others away from the clan, often depending on their personal experiences here on the forum.

I say clan, because I don't believe the term clique is fitting, I believe they simply come together to chat with like minded, and that's it, though that does give off "exclusivity vibes", giving the impression of a clique.

I feel the forum is at possibly one of its better stages right now, with some of the more prolific posters being more inclusive than some past prolifics.

Well, that's my waffle done, but hey, you've come to expect that, right?

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds

For some they are inclusive...the majority not so much x

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

The forums are much like cunnilingus the deeper you get in the sweeter it is

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

I dare you

I don't think she would care to be honest

Fucking crack on, I'd join in

You just want to be famous

How do you know I'm not already? "

I done my Sydney research and out of 100 people 9 knew you and the rest thought you were a character from the muppets

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

I dare you

I don't think she would care to be honest

Fucking crack on, I'd join in

You just want to be famous

How do you know I'm not already?

I done my Sydney research and out of 100 people 9 knew you and the rest thought you were a character from the muppets "

No, The Fraggles get it right man!.

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By *riar BelisseWoman  over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

In the mix of all the different people, pretty good right now

I remember previous times when most of the threads ended in a shitfest, with all the arguing, now they were fast paced threads, compared to the current flirt ones

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

I dare you

I don't think she would care to be honest

Fucking crack on, I'd join in

You just want to be famous

How do you know I'm not already?

I done my Sydney research and out of 100 people 9 knew you and the rest thought you were a character from the muppets

No, The Fraggles get it right man!. "

Down the fraggle rock, catch a fraggle by it's cock

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan  over a year ago

Wigan


"I find the forum interesting, in that it comes natural to me to analyse, to observe.

It's not something I aim to do, just comes naturally.

It can become apparent pretty quick to which forum user may drift away or become unlos. To which will be ignored, cast away or even torn.

To which will be tolerated, with some eventually embraced, and to which ones will fit right in, rising amongst the clan that some consider a clique.

Then noticing how their posts begin to adapt, some leaning towards and others away from the clan, often depending on their personal experiences here on the forum.

I say clan, because I don't believe the term clique is fitting, I believe they simply come together to chat with like minded, and that's it, though that does give off "exclusivity vibes", giving the impression of a clique.

I feel the forum is at possibly one of its better stages right now, with some of the more prolific posters being more inclusive than some past prolifics.

Well, that's my waffle done, but hey, you've come to expect that, right? "

I tend to observe and analyse too, although I've not been here for very long, one thing I've noticed and find interesting is how two people can post almost identical replies on a post, one (often the 1st) gets no traction while the other get quoted and often turns into a long conversation. Seeing things like that happen makes it understandable why some people feel excluded while others don't.

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By *aitonelMan  over a year ago

Liverpool


"I find the forum interesting, in that it comes natural to me to analyse, to observe.

It's not something I aim to do, just comes naturally.

It can become apparent pretty quick to which forum user may drift away or become unlos. To which will be ignored, cast away or even torn.

To which will be tolerated, with some eventually embraced, and to which ones will fit right in, rising amongst the clan that some consider a clique.

Then noticing how their posts begin to adapt, some leaning towards and others away from the clan, often depending on their personal experiences here on the forum.

I say clan, because I don't believe the term clique is fitting, I believe they simply come together to chat with like minded, and that's it, though that does give off "exclusivity vibes", giving the impression of a clique.

I feel the forum is at possibly one of its better stages right now, with some of the more prolific posters being more inclusive than some past prolifics.

Well, that's my waffle done, but hey, you've come to expect that, right?

I tend to observe and analyse too, although I've not been here for very long, one thing I've noticed and find interesting is how two people can post almost identical replies on a post, one (often the 1st) gets no traction while the other get quoted and often turns into a long conversation. Seeing things like that happen makes it understandable why some people feel excluded while others don't. "

Sometimes, not all the time, that is down to how fast a thread can move. The original gets missed because most read the first few comments, then skip to the last few. The middle section ignored and fades away.

Sometimes it's because the latter is posted by somebody hot or more well known yes. Not all the time, I'm not exactly a stranger here and been on both sides of this.

Happened a few times yesterday.

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry


"I find the forum interesting, in that it comes natural to me to analyse, to observe.

It's not something I aim to do, just comes naturally.

It can become apparent pretty quick to which forum user may drift away or become unlos. To which will be ignored, cast away or even torn.

To which will be tolerated, with some eventually embraced, and to which ones will fit right in, rising amongst the clan that some consider a clique.

Then noticing how their posts begin to adapt, some leaning towards and others away from the clan, often depending on their personal experiences here on the forum.

I say clan, because I don't believe the term clique is fitting, I believe they simply come together to chat with like minded, and that's it, though that does give off "exclusivity vibes", giving the impression of a clique.

I feel the forum is at possibly one of its better stages right now, with some of the more prolific posters being more inclusive than some past prolifics.

Well, that's my waffle done, but hey, you've come to expect that, right? "

I have dipped in and out of here over the years and do agree the current forum is better than former incarnations that were gladiator schools with boobs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

I dare you

I don't think she would care to be honest

Fucking crack on, I'd join in

You just want to be famous

How do you know I'm not already?

I done my Sydney research and out of 100 people 9 knew you and the rest thought you were a character from the muppets

No, The Fraggles get it right man!.

Down the fraggle rock, catch a fraggle by it's cock"

He knows the song

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"I'm not going to give my opinion but agreement will never be reached on this

I know. But funny init

Funny in your mind perhaps but probably not in the minds of people that wonder why others start threads just to cause arguments or disagreements.

Unless it's a kink of yours then of course crack on.

Coffee is better than tea right?

I don't drink either, I'm weird and proud

Jesus, this calls for a Boo is a weirdo thread

I dare you

I don't think she would care to be honest

Fucking crack on, I'd join in

You just want to be famous

How do you know I'm not already?

I done my Sydney research and out of 100 people 9 knew you and the rest thought you were a character from the muppets

No, The Fraggles get it right man!.

Down the fraggle rock, catch a fraggle by it's cock

He knows the song "

Damn right I do

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land


"I find the forum interesting, in that it comes natural to me to analyse, to observe.

It's not something I aim to do, just comes naturally.

It can become apparent pretty quick to which forum user may drift away or become unlos. To which will be ignored, cast away or even torn.

To which will be tolerated, with some eventually embraced, and to which ones will fit right in, rising amongst the clan that some consider a clique.

Then noticing how their posts begin to adapt, some leaning towards and others away from the clan, often depending on their personal experiences here on the forum.

I say clan, because I don't believe the term clique is fitting, I believe they simply come together to chat with like minded, and that's it, though that does give off "exclusivity vibes", giving the impression of a clique.

I feel the forum is at possibly one of its better stages right now, with some of the more prolific posters being more inclusive than some past prolifics.

Well, that's my waffle done, but hey, you've come to expect that, right?

I tend to observe and analyse too, although I've not been here for very long, one thing I've noticed and find interesting is how two people can post almost identical replies on a post, one (often the 1st) gets no traction while the other get quoted and often turns into a long conversation. Seeing things like that happen makes it understandable why some people feel excluded while others don't. "

It can sometimes be down to the OP but not in a popularity way. Some OPs will reply to lots of people thus sparking a conversation, where others post an OP and then let it grow on its own accord, so it doesn't get as many replies.

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By *ezebel100Woman  over a year ago

Birmingham


"For some they are inclusive...the majority not so much x"

There are a small group of forumites that often interact with each other, which most of the time I put down to them being longer term visitors to the forum, but sometimes it does seem that others are excluded don't know why that is.

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By *iromancergirl1Woman  over a year ago

bolton

Most of the time I find it very inclusive and welcoming but on the odd occasion it can feel like I’m at school again wanting to be noticed and included by the cool kids.

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"For some they are inclusive...the majority not so much x

There are a small group of forumites that often interact with each other, which most of the time I put down to them being longer term visitors to the forum, but sometimes it does seem that others are excluded don't know why that is."

They are so easy to spot though some aren't as vocal these days x

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"For some they are inclusive...the majority not so much x

There are a small group of forumites that often interact with each other, which most of the time I put down to them being longer term visitors to the forum, but sometimes it does seem that others are excluded don't know why that is.

They are so easy to spot though some aren't as vocal these days x"

I see nothing

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"For some they are inclusive...the majority not so much x

There are a small group of forumites that often interact with each other, which most of the time I put down to them being longer term visitors to the forum, but sometimes it does seem that others are excluded don't know why that is.

They are so easy to spot though some aren't as vocal these days x

I see nothing "

That's because you don't pay attention

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By *iscean_dreamMan  over a year ago

Llanelli


"For some they are inclusive...the majority not so much x

There are a small group of forumites that often interact with each other, which most of the time I put down to them being longer term visitors to the forum, but sometimes it does seem that others are excluded don't know why that is.

They are so easy to spot though some aren't as vocal these days x

I see nothing

That's because you don't pay attention "

What was the question again

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"For some they are inclusive...the majority not so much x

There are a small group of forumites that often interact with each other, which most of the time I put down to them being longer term visitors to the forum, but sometimes it does seem that others are excluded don't know why that is.

They are so easy to spot though some aren't as vocal these days x

I see nothing

That's because you don't pay attention

What was the question again "

Exactly

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry


"For some they are inclusive...the majority not so much x

There are a small group of forumites that often interact with each other, which most of the time I put down to them being longer term visitors to the forum, but sometimes it does seem that others are excluded don't know why that is."

If people have a longer relationship and have met up then yeah it's inevitable that groups within groups will form. Will others be excluded? Absolutely for a number of different reason. Some conversations are open to all. Some are the same folks talking to each other.

Maybe a poster is going against the groupthink, on the wrong day you'll be dismembered for going against the grain. What the topic is and who is saying it can make a difference too. Does it help being interesting and maybe having sharp elbows? Doesn't hurt.

It's an interesting dynamic here for sure, but is every voice and opinion equal? In my opinion not. It's a damn sight better than it was at other times.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

I think it would be ideal if people bore in mind the actual definition of inclusive.

The dictionary definition of inclusive is simply something that doesn't leave any person, part or group out. In other words, something is inclusive if it doesn't exclude a person, a part or a group of people.

So, by its nature of what the forums are, inclusive they'll never be, as there are people we are going to dislike like purely based on their forum persons. What they post. However, someone we like can post exactly the sane thing and be included by us. Someone who posts the same, and will be cunted off for it.

As in every arena of life, there is the in-group and out-group of people. With dare I say it and be bold a clear defined hierarchy, that both those who are of lesser standing in the in-group and those who are in the out-group, will pander to and faun over. Just on thr slim chance that they'll br accepted.

The truth is people get left out, over looked and damn well ignored. For what ever reason. Which causes, separation amd alienation...

One love, one heart one blood. Remember we all feel the same and bleed the same. As we are all human beings not human beings, amd humanity can be lost on the forums....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"One love, one heart one blood. Remember we all feel the same and bleed the same. As we are all human beings not human beings, amd humanity can be lost on the forums...."

I love you Ghandi and appreciate your realness on here.

To be Frank, my opinion is that the Lounge is not full of people that that see us as all the same and as bleeding the same blood. And that mask slips on certain threads.

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By *estarossa.Woman  over a year ago

Flagrante


"In your opinion "

I think you'd have to be deluded to think its inclusive!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Do you ever wonder why so many regular posters people in the Lounge are so similar in so many ways?

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By *riar BelisseWoman  over a year ago

Delightful Bliss


"Do you ever wonder why so many regular posters people in the Lounge are so similar in so many ways? "

I do wonder how so many of them find the time to be on fab all day tbh

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By *parkle1974Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"Do you ever wonder why so many regular posters people in the Lounge are so similar in so many ways? "

Nope because they aren't...the only thing they have in common is the way the conduct/derail a thread by turning them into conversations that could be taken to DM's

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"Do you ever wonder why so many regular posters people in the Lounge are so similar in so many ways?

Nope because they aren't...the only thing they have in common is the way the conduct/derail a thread by turning them into conversations that could be taken to DM's"

Yep this. Well the potential to. It happens. Most people on this thread have done it at some point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do you ever wonder why so many regular posters people in the Lounge are so similar in so many ways?

Nope because they aren't...the only thing they have in common is the way the conduct/derail a thread by turning them into conversations that could be taken to DM's"

The only thing they have in common? interesting.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds


"Do you ever wonder why so many regular posters people in the Lounge are so similar in so many ways? "

Similar in which way? Can't say I've noticed

Mrs

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By *olly SwallowsTV/TS  over a year ago

Sexville

I can only speak personally but sometimes I find it very inclusive and sometimes I think it’s absolutely not….

If I looked into it more it is probably people specific that makes me feel that way, or certain threads/topics that I feel more accepted in than others.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It is what it is.

*just my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Do you ever wonder why so many regular posters people in the Lounge are so similar in so many ways?

I do wonder how so many of them find the time to be on fab all day tbh"

Working from home and absolutely stealing a living is one way

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan  over a year ago

Bradford

Always happy to respond to anyone who joins my threads .

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do you ever wonder why so many regular posters people in the Lounge are so similar in so many ways?

Similar in which way? Can't say I've noticed

Mrs "

Age, race, general attitudes to younger people- though attitudes in general are obvs different. (this is my opinion obvs I’m not stating it as a point that can’t be disputed)

The reason I started this thread is because I wondered why the people I see using the site (some 36,000 online rn) is way more diverse than the forums.

I’m not having moan about it by the way before someone cries about that, I try and reflect on certain things often, spaces I’m in, how I am in those spaces etc. and that pretty much triggered this thread BUT I also do like and appreciate that people feel excluded and like the forums aren’t inclusive for many different reasons to them. And that’s why I’ve personally enjoyed reading through it.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Do you ever wonder why so many regular posters people in the Lounge are so similar in so many ways? "

No not really

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do you ever wonder why so many regular posters people in the Lounge are so similar in so many ways?

I do wonder how so many of them find the time to be on fab all day tbh

Working from home and absolutely stealing a living is one way "

‘Working’ is doing a lot of work in that WFH phrase

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Oooops I hope I don’t upset people

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By * and R cple4Couple  over a year ago

swansea

Theirs a prime example of it happening on this post.It’s a shame really that some great and intelligent points get ignored because people are only interested in whose posting not what their posting..

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By *olly SwallowsTV/TS  over a year ago

Sexville


"Theirs a prime example of it happening on this post.It’s a shame really that some great and intelligent points get ignored because people are only interested in whose posting not what their posting.."

Completely

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Theirs a prime example of it happening on this post.It’s a shame really that some great and intelligent points get ignored because people are only interested in whose posting not what their posting.."

I’m guilty myself of not being inclusive in many of the ways people on here have mentioned. And I think that’s something I’ll reflect on for sure

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By *aitonelMan  over a year ago

Liverpool

All inclusive. Like a cheap Benidorm holiday

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds


"Do you ever wonder why so many regular posters people in the Lounge are so similar in so many ways?

Similar in which way? Can't say I've noticed

Mrs

Age, race, general attitudes to younger people- though attitudes in general are obvs different. (this is my opinion obvs I’m not stating it as a point that can’t be disputed)

The reason I started this thread is because I wondered why the people I see using the site (some 36,000 online rn) is way more diverse than the forums.

I’m not having moan about it by the way before someone cries about that, I try and reflect on certain things often, spaces I’m in, how I am in those spaces etc. and that pretty much triggered this thread BUT I also do like and appreciate that people feel excluded and like the forums aren’t inclusive for many different reasons to them. And that’s why I’ve personally enjoyed reading through it. "

I can't say I've noticed if anything I find it great there's a huge mix of ages, races & sexualities.

Mrs

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple  over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow


"Theirs a prime example of it happening on this post.It’s a shame really that some great and intelligent points get ignored because people are only interested in whose posting not what their posting..

Completely "

See my original comment

Marc

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"All inclusive. Like a cheap Benidorm holiday "

It is like a cheap Benidorm holiday in here actually

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Do you ever wonder why so many regular posters people in the Lounge are so similar in so many ways?

Similar in which way? Can't say I've noticed

Mrs

Age, race, general attitudes to younger people- though attitudes in general are obvs different. (this is my opinion obvs I’m not stating it as a point that can’t be disputed)

The reason I started this thread is because I wondered why the people I see using the site (some 36,000 online rn) is way more diverse than the forums.

I’m not having moan about it by the way before someone cries about that, I try and reflect on certain things often, spaces I’m in, how I am in those spaces etc. and that pretty much triggered this thread BUT I also do like and appreciate that people feel excluded and like the forums aren’t inclusive for many different reasons to them. And that’s why I’ve personally enjoyed reading through it.

I can't say I've noticed if anything I find it great there's a huge mix of ages, races & sexualities.

Mrs "

Fair, I appreciate that view. In my opinion ‘huge’ is doing a lot of work relating to age and race even if I am wrong and it’s more diverse than I think

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ooo Pickle you're going there!

I think it's not great at times. Other times it's fantastic.

I think it's easy to think of inclusivity in terms of people responding to everyone on a thread, interacting with people not based on their desire to bump uglies but on the merit of their post.

But something I've noticed more and more? If a poster comments disagreeing with something that's proven popular in a positive sense, they'll be met with "well if you don't like it, fuck off" in essence. That's not inclusivity in my mind. That's creating an echo chamber of a circle jerk.

I think people could be more inclusive on here. "

It works when sobb my robe popular posts done thing that isn’t even universally accepted, but people won’t call them on it, because of who they are.

It is what it is.

Op, do you think it’s inclusive?

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By *ezebel100Woman  over a year ago

Birmingham


"For some they are inclusive...the majority not so much x

There are a small group of forumites that often interact with each other, which most of the time I put down to them being longer term visitors to the forum, but sometimes it does seem that others are excluded don't know why that is.

If people have a longer relationship and have met up then yeah it's inevitable that groups within groups will form. Will others be excluded? Absolutely for a number of different reason. Some conversations are open to all. Some are the same folks talking to each other.

Maybe a poster is going against the groupthink, on the wrong day you'll be dismembered for going against the grain. What the topic is and who is saying it can make a difference too. Does it help being interesting and maybe having sharp elbows? Doesn't hurt.

It's an interesting dynamic here for sure, but is every voice and opinion equal? In my opinion not. It's a damn sight better than it was at other times."

If the conversation isn't open to all then maybe don't post it on an open Forum

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By *olly SwallowsTV/TS  over a year ago

Sexville


"I must admit that sometimes it does bother me when a small number of people start threads then will only engage with a small number of people.

Imho I think if you start a thread you should be prepared to engage with a wider number

Other than that the group socials I have attended have been great

So it’s a little of both

Marc"

Yep! I notice this as well x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Ooo Pickle you're going there!

I think it's not great at times. Other times it's fantastic.

I think it's easy to think of inclusivity in terms of people responding to everyone on a thread, interacting with people not based on their desire to bump uglies but on the merit of their post.

But something I've noticed more and more? If a poster comments disagreeing with something that's proven popular in a positive sense, they'll be met with "well if you don't like it, fuck off" in essence. That's not inclusivity in my mind. That's creating an echo chamber of a circle jerk.

I think people could be more inclusive on here.

It works when sobb my robe popular posts done thing that isn’t even universally accepted, but people won’t call them on it, because of who they are.

It is what it is.

Op, do you think it’s inclusive? "

By the way I agree people are too scared to call some people out on things. But also lots of people like them so they won’t call them on it publicly at least.

I don’t think the forums are that inclusive in any of the ways people have talked about on here which is not what I thought coming into it. But reading these has reminded to challenge my own experiences (being replied to for example)

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"One love, one heart one blood. Remember we all feel the same and bleed the same. As we are all human beings not human beings, amd humanity can be lost on the forums....

I love you Ghandi and appreciate your realness on here.

To be Frank, my opinion is that the Lounge is not full of people that that see us as all the same and as bleeding the same blood. And that mask slips on certain threads. "

Hey that's life, let's have it right the lounge is full of ego, self seeking behavior that sates self worth and self esteem issues for some, without knowing it..

Thankyou Pickle

Yes I'm real, In fact am i real on here bo that's a lie, those that have met me will tell you I'm not such a bigger cunt than I portray on here. Am I inclusive no, thats because i dont like all i dont value there opinions cuz there often like arseholes they stink, but I can hold steadfast in my truth on that, and that's what makes me real. And like I've already stated outside of those who do socials or clubs I'll never meet 99 per cent of the ppl on here cuz its all fantasy to them....

And I said I wasent going to comment

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By *riar BelisseWoman  over a year ago

Delightful Bliss


"Ooo Pickle you're going there!

I think it's not great at times. Other times it's fantastic.

I think it's easy to think of inclusivity in terms of people responding to everyone on a thread, interacting with people not based on their desire to bump uglies but on the merit of their post.

But something I've noticed more and more? If a poster comments disagreeing with something that's proven popular in a positive sense, they'll be met with "well if you don't like it, fuck off" in essence. That's not inclusivity in my mind. That's creating an echo chamber of a circle jerk.

I think people could be more inclusive on here.

It works when sobb my robe popular posts done thing that isn’t even universally accepted, but people won’t call them on it, because of who they are.

It is what it is.

Op, do you think it’s inclusive?

By the way I agree people are too scared to call some people out on things. But also lots of people like them so they won’t call them on it publicly at least.

I don’t think the forums are that inclusive in any of the ways people have talked about on here which is not what I thought coming into it. But reading these has reminded to challenge my own experiences (being replied to for example)"

I wouldn't call it scared, more can't be arsed to be involved in the petty little back biting comments, that they assume mean something... I'm pretty sure if we had an (facepalm) emoji, it would be hugely popular

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry


"For some they are inclusive...the majority not so much x

There are a small group of forumites that often interact with each other, which most of the time I put down to them being longer term visitors to the forum, but sometimes it does seem that others are excluded don't know why that is.

If people have a longer relationship and have met up then yeah it's inevitable that groups within groups will form. Will others be excluded? Absolutely for a number of different reason. Some conversations are open to all. Some are the same folks talking to each other.

Maybe a poster is going against the groupthink, on the wrong day you'll be dismembered for going against the grain. What the topic is and who is saying it can make a difference too. Does it help being interesting and maybe having sharp elbows? Doesn't hurt.

It's an interesting dynamic here for sure, but is every voice and opinion equal? In my opinion not. It's a damn sight better than it was at other times.

If the conversation isn't open to all then maybe don't post it on an open Forum "

What's the alternatives, just trying to think what it would look like.

If the same half dozen want to circle jerk, that's a them problem. What can you do there?

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By *he love catsCouple  over a year ago

South Wales

I see it as you get out what you put in, some posters have been on here for year's, some only weeks yet they have already become well known in the forums, it's all about the interaction, that's if you have the time of course IMO.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Ooo Pickle you're going there!

I think it's not great at times. Other times it's fantastic.

I think it's easy to think of inclusivity in terms of people responding to everyone on a thread, interacting with people not based on their desire to bump uglies but on the merit of their post.

But something I've noticed more and more? If a poster comments disagreeing with something that's proven popular in a positive sense, they'll be met with "well if you don't like it, fuck off" in essence. That's not inclusivity in my mind. That's creating an echo chamber of a circle jerk.

I think people could be more inclusive on here.

It works when sobb my robe popular posts done thing that isn’t even universally accepted, but people won’t call them on it, because of who they are.

It is what it is.

Op, do you think it’s inclusive?

By the way I agree people are too scared to call some people out on things. But also lots of people like them so they won’t call them on it publicly at least.

I don’t think the forums are that inclusive in any of the ways people have talked about on here which is not what I thought coming into it. But reading these has reminded to challenge my own experiences (being replied to for example)

I wouldn't call it scared, more can't be arsed to be involved in the petty little back biting comments, that they assume mean something... I'm pretty sure if we had an (facepalm) emoji, it would be hugely popular

"

I’d use it all the time

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

I don’t think they’ve ever been super inclusive regarding age (and I include the more mature folk as well as the younger), in fact I think I can count the younger forumites on one hand that I’ve seen on my time on here.

Younger (men in particular) tend to get told to experience life off here and then come back on the site in a few years. Forumites like you to be “swinging” experienced before you can post, it sometimes feels.

Is that because Fab isn’t inclusive or because younger folk use other apps to get their sexy on? I don’t know. Maybe they just don’t like using the forums? Some of the subjects posted won’t appeal to every age range for sure.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’ll tell you what op.

If I started a thread (that was worth a reply to instead of the shite attention seeking one’s where i am in need amof some social interaction because I’m looked in here and tried to reply to EVERYONE, no matter what they put, or even those that are worth a reply because I’m on fab all day. (There’s a lot of subposts going on in this forum lately)

It would be filled quickly from all my replies. DOUBLE and I’d take over, where the whole idea of some of my thread are supposed to be inclusive to get people talking. And hopefully to each other. And they can’t do that, if I’m chirping in to everyone.

Sometimes i will only reply to my friends. Because against all odds, I made 1 or 2. And anyone who doesn’t like someone making the odd friend here and there can suck my cock.

…. And become my next good friend.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There’s definitely a batch of people on the forum that stick together. It’s blatantly obvious lol. But other than that just try your luck with people. If they like you they like you if they don’t then they don’t

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"I’ll tell you what op.

If I started a thread (that was worth a reply to instead of the shite attention seeking one’s where i am in need amof some social interaction because I’m looked in here and tried to reply to EVERYONE, no matter what they put, or even those that are worth a reply because I’m on fab all day. (There’s a lot of subposts going on in this forum lately)

It would be filled quickly from all my replies. DOUBLE and I’d take over, where the whole idea of some of my thread are supposed to be inclusive to get people talking. And hopefully to each other. And they can’t do that, if I’m chirping in to everyone.

Sometimes i will only reply to my friends. Because against all odds, I made 1 or 2. And anyone who doesn’t like someone making the odd friend here and there can suck my cock.

…. And become my next good friend. "

I'll be you mate Woody but I draw the line at sucking your cock nxt Fri night in Brum on the rooftop....bow if we venture to the nearby canal then I'll as inclusive as you want

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I don’t think they’ve ever been super inclusive regarding age (and I include the more mature folk as well as the younger), in fact I think I can count the younger forumites on one hand that I’ve seen on my time on here.

Younger (men in particular) tend to get told to experience life off here and then come back on the site in a few years. Forumites like you to be “swinging” experienced before you can post, it sometimes feels.

Is that because Fab isn’t inclusive or because younger folk use other apps to get their sexy on? I don’t know. Maybe they just don’t like using the forums? Some of the subjects posted won’t appeal to every age range for sure.

"

Age is a big one to me. I agree with all said here. It is of course worth considering young people using the apps and also not likely using sites like this for the social side.

It can feel really like people are really condescending on here at times regarding age. And like they pretty much dislike lots of things about young people (other than their kids) including the way young people talk and that young people do things differently or find different things interesting or listen to different things. So it can feel like even if you are young and want to post on the forums, you’ve got to be a pretty confident and specific kind of person to fit in.

And fitting in I’d say is different to being noticed. I’d say I’m noticed despite being massively different to most of the forum users in important ways to me, but I post a lot so it’s hard to not notice me tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It depends what you mean by inclusive. It definitely isn’t inclusive when it comes to other cultures, opinions, kinks, sexualities or genders.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’ll tell you what op.

If I started a thread (that was worth a reply to instead of the shite attention seeking one’s where i am in need amof some social interaction because I’m looked in here and tried to reply to EVERYONE, no matter what they put, or even those that are worth a reply because I’m on fab all day. (There’s a lot of subposts going on in this forum lately)

It would be filled quickly from all my replies. DOUBLE and I’d take over, where the whole idea of some of my thread are supposed to be inclusive to get people talking. And hopefully to each other. And they can’t do that, if I’m chirping in to everyone.

Sometimes i will only reply to my friends. Because against all odds, I made 1 or 2. And anyone who doesn’t like someone making the odd friend here and there can suck my cock.

…. And become my next good friend. "

fine. I’ll suck you off.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've genuinely not noticed cliques. I've noticed friendship groups yes, and on the odd occasion some of those do push out others, ignore them or jump and attack and bully. But for the most part there's lots of people on here who are inclusive and add a lot of positivity. I think there's also lots of bitter folk on here, who take offence at seeing people being friends because it doesn't include them, but most of the time it's just friends who know each other well bouncing off each other and it is taken the wrong way.

I wouldn't say I go out of my way to be inclusive and super welcoming, but I'd like to think I don't purposely leave people out and ignore them. I do tend to have a good natter and stick with those I click with, but it takes time to get to that point of knowing someone, and it's just how I'd be in real life, gravitating towards people I know and like.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I don’t think they’ve ever been super inclusive regarding age (and I include the more mature folk as well as the younger), in fact I think I can count the younger forumites on one hand that I’ve seen on my time on here.

Younger (men in particular) tend to get told to experience life off here and then come back on the site in a few years. Forumites like you to be “swinging” experienced before you can post, it sometimes feels.

Is that because Fab isn’t inclusive or because younger folk use other apps to get their sexy on? I don’t know. Maybe they just don’t like using the forums? Some of the subjects posted won’t appeal to every age range for sure.

Age is a big one to me. I agree with all said here. It is of course worth considering young people using the apps and also not likely using sites like this for the social side.

It can feel really like people are really condescending on here at times regarding age. And like they pretty much dislike lots of things about young people (other than their kids) including the way young people talk and that young people do things differently or find different things interesting or listen to different things. So it can feel like even if you are young and want to post on the forums, you’ve got to be a pretty confident and specific kind of person to fit in.

And fitting in I’d say is different to being noticed. I’d say I’m noticed despite being massively different to most of the forum users in important ways to me, but I post a lot so it’s hard to not notice me tbh. "

Side note as your resident race obsessed fabber- the dislike of language isn’t fooling anyone.

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By *ittlebirdWoman  over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"One love, one heart one blood. Remember we all feel the same and bleed the same. As we are all human beings not human beings, amd humanity can be lost on the forums....

I love you Ghandi and appreciate your realness on here.

To be Frank, my opinion is that the Lounge is not full of people that that see us as all the same and as bleeding the same blood. And that mask slips on certain threads.

Hey that's life, let's have it right the lounge is full of ego, self seeking behavior that sates self worth and self esteem issues for some, without knowing it..

Thankyou Pickle

Yes I'm real, In fact am i real on here bo that's a lie, those that have met me will tell you I'm not such a bigger cunt than I portray on here. Am I inclusive no, thats because i dont like all i dont value there opinions cuz there often like arseholes they stink, but I can hold steadfast in my truth on that, and that's what makes me real. And like I've already stated outside of those who do socials or clubs I'll never meet 99 per cent of the ppl on here cuz its all fantasy to them....

And I said I wasent going to comment "

And you said you weren’t going to comment…

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"One love, one heart one blood. Remember we all feel the same and bleed the same. As we are all human beings not human beings, amd humanity can be lost on the forums....

I love you Ghandi and appreciate your realness on here.

To be Frank, my opinion is that the Lounge is not full of people that that see us as all the same and as bleeding the same blood. And that mask slips on certain threads.

Hey that's life, let's have it right the lounge is full of ego, self seeking behavior that sates self worth and self esteem issues for some, without knowing it..

Thankyou Pickle

Yes I'm real, In fact am i real on here bo that's a lie, those that have met me will tell you I'm not such a bigger cunt than I portray on here. Am I inclusive no, thats because i dont like all i dont value there opinions cuz there often like arseholes they stink, but I can hold steadfast in my truth on that, and that's what makes me real. And like I've already stated outside of those who do socials or clubs I'll never meet 99 per cent of the ppl on here cuz its all fantasy to them....

And I said I wasent going to comment

And you said you weren’t going to comment…

"

I know the voices made me do it.....its coming to the end of the month and the depot is wearing off

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By *heekyDemandCouple  over a year ago

Leicester


"I’ll tell you what op.

If I started a thread (that was worth a reply to instead of the shite attention seeking one’s where i am in need amof some social interaction because I’m looked in here and tried to reply to EVERYONE, no matter what they put, or even those that are worth a reply because I’m on fab all day. (There’s a lot of subposts going on in this forum lately)

It would be filled quickly from all my replies. DOUBLE and I’d take over, where the whole idea of some of my thread are supposed to be inclusive to get people talking. And hopefully to each other. And they can’t do that, if I’m chirping in to everyone.

Sometimes i will only reply to my friends. Because against all odds, I made 1 or 2. And anyone who doesn’t like someone making the odd friend here and there can suck my cock.

…. And become my next good friend. "

Woody, you and Red gave me the biggest lift ever when I was at my absolute lowest point. There was no gain for either of you other than to say a kind word. As it transpired, I was unable to make the MLS social where I could have passed on real-world thanks. But, things are on the up & up now and there are always more events.

(backbydemand on single profile)

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

With the whole age, younger post less etc....

Is it not just that there's less younger fab members, looking at my local search the majority seem to be 30-50 age range, you can't include what isn't here or make a minority a majority.

Unless there's statistics to say ok there's 50% of 20 year olds and only 2% post in the forums because they don't feel comfortable it's absolutely impossible to say.

Mrs

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Mayfair

Curiously the few places on the fora where inclusivity becomes enshrined...are the Inclusivity Threads. Nearly everyone posts with a viewpoint. Once you're in the thread you're stuck together like Magdeburg Hemispheres.

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By *odgerMooreMan  over a year ago

Nowhere

I asked a genuine question on one of my threads a few weeks ago and even though it was a generic question - some people jumped on the subject matter to start a much wider discussion with very polarised viewpoints. I was a bit disappointed as i like to think we are a tolerant liberal bunch but on many topics we are anything but tolerant or inclusive…. Like Married swingers playing without partners knowledge… you will see there are a significant amount of people that will happily tear into whoever happens to be the target. Others will say not for me as a measured response - personal preference and some don’t care one bit. I think fab quite accurately reflects people In the real world as thats who’s here. Sexually adventurous maybe but that seems to me to be the main and often only difference.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Laughable

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"Laughable "

You included me in your lunch today beautiful

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

It's as inclusive as any other part of society.

I'm not allowed to go on club 18-30 holidays.

We'll always be included in some way and excluded in another.

That's life. Its not always fair, rational, sane, logical or equal.

Not everyone will like you, me or anyone else in particular, often for no apparent reason.

It's always been that way and always will.

Sadly.

A

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By *gent CoulsonMan  over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

It is as inclusive as people want to make it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Laughable

You included me in your lunch today beautiful "

And weren’t you jealous

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It is as inclusive as people want to make it "

Which is…

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It is as inclusive as people want to make it

Which is…"

Not very

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By *riar BelisseWoman  over a year ago

Delightful Bliss


"I asked a genuine question on one of my threads a few weeks ago and even though it was a generic question - some people jumped on the subject matter to start a much wider discussion with very polarised viewpoints. I was a bit disappointed as i like to think we are a tolerant liberal bunch but on many topics we are anything but tolerant or inclusive…. Like Married swingers playing without partners knowledge… you will see there are a significant amount of people that will happily tear into whoever happens to be the target. Others will say not for me as a measured response - personal preference and some don’t care one bit. I think fab quite accurately reflects people In the real world as thats who’s here. Sexually adventurous maybe but that seems to me to be the main and often only difference. "

Emotive subjects will rile people up though, I wonder if you did a have you been cheated on thread, how quickly it would max 175

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The funny thing is some of the most prolific culprits for making people feel excluded come on here to wax lyrical about how inclusive it is

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