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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As I continue to debate if its worth continuing on in life let alone here, I wanted to say thanks to those who have tried to help who have interacted or offered an ear, even though most of you don't know me very well at all. It was appreciated. |
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"As I continue to debate if its worth continuing on in life let alone here, I wanted to say thanks to those who have tried to help who have interacted or offered an ear, even though most of you don't know me very well at all. It was appreciated. "
I'm sorry you feel so low, please please try and get some help x |
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"As I continue to debate if its worth continuing on in life let alone here, I wanted to say thanks to those who have tried to help who have interacted or offered an ear, even though most of you don't know me very well at all. It was appreciated. "
There is always a better way, OP. Sometimes it can be impossible to see it on your own but you are a good person with so much worth in this world. People like you.
If fab isn’t working for you right now, maybe take a break. But think of it like this - we may be a bunch of random strangers who barely know you, but that won’t change if you leave. What will change is losing another support network where you can connect with likeminded individuals.
Stay, leave, take a break - whatever works for you. But we’d like you to stay 
Sending hugs and strength. |
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I have been where you are and know how hope has disapeared from your life to the extent you feel it is impossible to go on.
I won't presume to understand the circumstances it is so different for everyone all i can say is this if you have gotten as far as making a plan please seek help immediately.
I stood on a bridge over the thames my system full of vodka and pills that could not numb the pain if not for thoughts of my daughter coming through the fog i would be gone.
Please do not let it get that far. |
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Hope your ok op, do you have some support or someone you can speak to
It's always worth continuing in life, no matter how bad things are it's not permanent there's always a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't quite see it.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm glad you've been able to reach out - and would encourage you to continue that path - your GP will be able to gey you access to therapists who will not judge you, but will help you to find a path forwards... Short term the samaritans will listen for as long and as often as you need them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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With things that happened over the last couple of days this is the closet I have come to wanting serious harm since I made a half attempt 4 yrs ago
The one saving grace is I am currently with my mum for a visit for the first time since my dad's funeral and am not going to do anything while with her
Once am back in the UK by myself I will have to find some way to get through without harming as she does not need any more upset |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With things that happened over the last couple of days this is the closet I have come to wanting serious harm since I made a half attempt 4 yrs ago
The one saving grace is I am currently with my mum for a visit for the first time since my dad's funeral and am not going to do anything while with her
Once am back in the UK by myself I will have to find some way to get through without harming as she does not need any more upset "
Does your Mum know how you feel currently? Could it be a good moment to open up if not ? |
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"With things that happened over the last couple of days this is the closet I have come to wanting serious harm since I made a half attempt 4 yrs ago
The one saving grace is I am currently with my mum for a visit for the first time since my dad's funeral and am not going to do anything while with her
Once am back in the UK by myself I will have to find some way to get through without harming as she does not need any more upset "
It's good to read you OP!  Please make a plan for when you get back - speak to your GP or the number I posted above.
Jxx |
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"With things that happened over the last couple of days this is the closet I have come to wanting serious harm since I made a half attempt 4 yrs ago
The one saving grace is I am currently with my mum for a visit for the first time since my dad's funeral and am not going to do anything while with her
Once am back in the UK by myself I will have to find some way to get through without harming as she does not need any more upset "
I hope you can find some support |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I hope you consider the support options that have been suggested here, OP. Reaching out is the best thing you can do, and while the fab forum is a start, it isn't the most useful.
Talking to your mum would be a good idea. You'll be surprised at how much she will likely have picked up on from you without you saying anything, and she would be devastated to rhino you are going through this and having these thoughts without allowing her to try and help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been there, mate.
After such a rough run, I intended on not bouncing back after hitting rich bottom.
I couldn't see the point, I couldn't see what with I had to this awful planet, or to anyone around me.
I believed people would quickly get over it, one less concern.
But against my will, I got through it, and here I am several years later, still standing.
Everything is temporary, ride the rough times and enjoy the good times.
People do care, it's just that most are terrible at expressing or thinking to express it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Please please please do listen to other's advice in regards to talking to someone, anyone.
Whilst I cannot imagine what you are going through or how bad you are feeling, but when I had issues last year that I had bottled up for years I finally spoke to someone and it was immeasurable how much it helped me finally not feeling like I was dealing with all alone.
We are all here for you despite not knowing you x
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I have a child who made a couple of attempts a decade a go. Luckily I still have her with me and she is now thriving. She has a job she loves and a lovely boyfriend . Each day I'm so grateful that she is still in my life. Pain does ease and hope returns but it does need a helping hand from a doctor. She felt as you do now and she still has bad days and even weeks. But she also has good days.
There is a lot of help out there. Do it for your mum until you can do it for yourself.
Feel free to message me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a child who made a couple of attempts a decade a go. Luckily I still have her with me and she is now thriving. She has a job she loves and a lovely boyfriend . Each day I'm so grateful that she is still in my life. Pain does ease and hope returns but it does need a helping hand from a doctor. She felt as you do now and she still has bad days and even weeks. But she also has good days.
There is a lot of help out there. Do it for your mum until you can do it for yourself.
Feel free to message me. "
Thank you for sharing this.
I imagine it was a real tough time you'd rather not look back on.
Respect. Xx |
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"As I continue to debate if its worth continuing on in life let alone here, I wanted to say thanks to those who have tried to help who have interacted or offered an ear, even though most of you don't know me very well at all. It was appreciated. "
•
I know you from my Nocturnal Threads. I am looking forward to seeing you more often on there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll try again, with typos corrected.
I've been there, mate.
After such a rough run, I intended on not bouncing back after hitting rock bottom.
I couldn't see the point, I couldn't see what I had to offer this awful planet, or to anyone around me.
I believed people would quickly get over it, one less concern.
But against my will, I got through it, and here I am several years later, still standing.
Everything is temporary, ride the rough times and enjoy the good times.
People do care, it's just that most are terrible at expressing or thinking to express it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Appreciate the messages and the words
Did not mean to scare anyone and often don't speak out as feel there are more worthy people who need help more
There is no plan at the moment and hopefully won't be when I return to the UK
Speaking to mum is not an option but causing her more pain is something that will stop me doing something permanent
Hopefully friends in the UK will stop me doing something temporary when go back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I continue to debate if its worth continuing on in life let alone here, I wanted to say thanks to those who have tried to help who have interacted or offered an ear, even though most of you don't know me very well at all. It was appreciated. "
Hope your OK OP so sorry I didn't read your text x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Taking a break from the site for a few days
And will then decide if its somewhere I can still have some fun and explore after I get through this current crisis |
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Reflection can be great just try to keep everything in perspective.
Sit down, close your eyes and imagine your mum looking across at you.
Free your mind, let your consciousness float across the room to join with your mum's.
See yourself through her eyes, feel the unconditional love she has for you, experience her pride and joy at the man you have become.
It is through the eyes of those that love us most we will discover the truth of who we really are.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just at airport waiting delayed flight back to uk
Part of the issue was caused by being accused of assaulting some one within the kink scene, now put down to mistaken identity.
But it shows how easy it can be to throw around such accusations and the effect they can have.
Will take a couple of days to calm down again. While I would like to do some damage I have some people who want me around even if I think they don't
Sorry if caused any concern and thanks for the ears and words of wisdom |
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"Just at airport waiting delayed flight back to uk
Part of the issue was caused by being accused of assaulting some one within the kink scene, now put down to mistaken identity.
But it shows how easy it can be to throw around such accusations and the effect they can have.
Will take a couple of days to calm down again. While I would like to do some damage I have some people who want me around even if I think they don't
Sorry if caused any concern and thanks for the ears and words of wisdom "
Bloody hell that's awful glad you are OK and I agree accusations especially false ones can cause so much damage. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please speak to someone, get professional help. I'm sorry you're feeling that way  "
^ this x 1,000
Things can, and will, get better. Please continue to talk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I continue to debate if its worth continuing on in life let alone here, I wanted to say thanks to those who have tried to help who have interacted or offered an ear, even though most of you don't know me very well at all. It was appreciated. "
Samaritans offer a totally confidential listening service where you can talk about how you're feeling without judgement. Call 116 123. I've been where you are, and it's a horrible dark and lonely place. Especially when you feel like there's no other way. But there is hope...how are you feeling now
Mrs |
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We are grateful for you reaching out to let us in it is very brave when you are in the dark.
We build our walls high fortify them with fear & doubt to keep from getting hurt.
We have built the perfect prison populated it with shadows, loneliness and despair.
It is not just that we will not let anyone in it is that escape seems so frightening there is the illusion of safety within.
Don't listen to the noisy din that tears you down, don't accept your fate is to be alone, shut the voices out to watch the walls smash to the ground.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just at airport waiting delayed flight back to uk
Part of the issue was caused by being accused of assaulting some one within the kink scene, now put down to mistaken identity.
But it shows how easy it can be to throw around such accusations and the effect they can have.
Will take a couple of days to calm down again. While I would like to do some damage I have some people who want me around even if I think they don't
Sorry if caused any concern and thanks for the ears and words of wisdom "
i can see why that would cause you angst... Just continue breathing and working through it.. Each day that passes it will become more faded |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Another glorious day in which to celebrate life you just cannot miss out on a cold beer on a day like today."
Am one of the few Irish who does not drink lol |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Another glorious day in which to celebrate life you just cannot miss out on a cold beer on a day like today.
Am one of the few Irish who does not drink lol"
There's an increasing number of us. Change is slow though |
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