FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How long does it normally take…..
How long does it normally take…..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I?
Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile.
"
Or we could just pull them to one side?  |
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist? 
Love and Peace  "
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works."
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I?
Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile.
Or we could just pull them to one side? "
And? |
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works."
FFS NOOOOOOOOO that just makes it last longer!!!!! lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I?
Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile.
Or we could just pull them to one side?
And?"
They’ll ‘untwist’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I?
Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile.
"
Because then I won't be able to perv on your profile. Don't be selfish! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works.
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works "
You could also tell her to relax either. That normally works right  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I’m of the opinion it varies with the reason behind the twistage. "
Remote vibrator antenna caught in them? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.."
Can it be the cheapo stuff? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works.
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works
You could also tell her to relax either. That normally works right "
Yeah, ‘relax love’ is my go to calming strategy. 60% of the time it works every time |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I?
Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile.
"
Because there's still the potential of meeting fantastic people on here, even if it doesn't always feel like that. I hope your grumpy isn't too bad PW and you're okay. |
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff? "
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I?
Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile.
Because there's still the potential of meeting fantastic people on here, even if it doesn't always feel like that. I hope your grumpy isn't too bad PW and you're okay."
Exactly, Meli met me and her life has never been the same since |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti"
The only wine I know is morning wine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti"
How about Blun Nun or Buckfast?? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace "
Never.
You'll have to emigrate, take on an assumed identity and start a new profile. 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
How about Blun Nun or Buckfast??"
Blue nun*** |
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine "
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
Never.
You'll have to emigrate, take on an assumed identity and start a new profile.
A"
Would it not be cheaper to just set up a fake profile? |
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine.."
Nah. Add 5 or 6 baby Guinness an Claire becomes a lamb. Works every time.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works.
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works "
That was a mistake, you should have said 'Babe' and 'Darling' and if she was still slightly upset (normally that would not be the case), I would suggest a coloquialism such as 'me duck'.
Then I think you should sit her down and explain in a very detailed form why her position was untenable, and how you assume that it was cos of the time of the month, and once she's calmed down, suggest you go up to the bedroom as a nice bonk will get everything back on an even keel.
yw |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol"
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though |
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though "
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Nah. Add 5 or 6 baby Guinness a Claire becomes a lamb. Works every time. "
This is a sentence I don’t think has ever been written before in the history of mankind |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works.
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works
That was a mistake, you should have said 'Babe' and 'Darling' and if she was still slightly upset (normally that would not be the case), I would suggest a coloquialism such as 'me duck'.
Then I think you should sit her down and explain in a very detailed form why her position was untenable, and how you assume that it was cos of the time of the month, and once she's calmed down, suggest you go up to the bedroom as a nice bonk will get everything back on an even keel.
yw"
Not block her then?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"In my experience it could be anywhere between five minutes, and the Twelfth of Never. "
I hope it’s 5mins cause there might be someone else who comes along shortly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works.
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works
That was a mistake, you should have said 'Babe' and 'Darling' and if she was still slightly upset (normally that would not be the case), I would suggest a coloquialism such as 'me duck'.
Then I think you should sit her down and explain in a very detailed form why her position was untenable, and how you assume that it was cos of the time of the month, and once she's calmed down, suggest you go up to the bedroom as a nice bonk will get everything back on an even keel.
yw
Not block her then? "
I've found they can get round the blocking. If you were to do that, I would also recommend changing all your social media accounts, your phone number, place of work, residence, and then maybe think about moving abroad for a few years. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it.."
You do, but just the night before  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
I think it depends on how long it takes for a man to tell her to "calm down, Dear" - that always works.
I actually called her ‘love’ which normally works
That was a mistake, you should have said 'Babe' and 'Darling' and if she was still slightly upset (normally that would not be the case), I would suggest a coloquialism such as 'me duck'.
Then I think you should sit her down and explain in a very detailed form why her position was untenable, and how you assume that it was cos of the time of the month, and once she's calmed down, suggest you go up to the bedroom as a nice bonk will get everything back on an even keel.
yw
Not block her then?
I've found they can get round the blocking. If you were to do that, I would also recommend changing all your social media accounts, your phone number, place of work, residence, and then maybe think about moving abroad for a few years. "
I think I’ll just leave then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
who have you pissed off "
Nobody gets pissed off with me dude |
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Females NEVER forget ...Mrs4 still bangs on about stuff i did decades ago and i'd forgot all about !! reason most males in long term relationship have learnt the skill of sleeping with one eye open ?? lmfao xx ps or the nodding dog followed by yes dear xxx pps BUT pay some attention otherwise you'll end up decorating the perfectly good front room like i did xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" Females NEVER forget ...Mrs4 still bangs on about stuff i did decades ago and i'd forgot all about !! reason most males in long term relationship have learnt the skill of sleeping with one eye open ?? lmfao xx ps or the nodding dog followed by yes dear xxx pps BUT pay some attention otherwise you'll end up decorating the perfectly good front room like i did xxx "
So what your telling us is.... YOU NEVER LEARN. No sympathy. Sure the kitchen could do with a fresh lick of paint. GO
Mrs C |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" Females NEVER forget ...Mrs4 still bangs on about stuff i did decades ago and i'd forgot all about !! reason most males in long term relationship have learnt the skill of sleeping with one eye open ?? lmfao xx ps or the nodding dog followed by yes dear xxx pps BUT pay some attention otherwise you'll end up decorating the perfectly good front room like i did xxx "
She’ll end up looking like a decorators radio if she’s not careful |
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it..
You do, but just the night before "
I've just peeked at your profile and you've actually got an impressive todger there, not sure why i'm surprised...off topic i know  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it..
You do, but just the night before
I've just peeked at your profile and you've actually got an impressive todger there, not sure why i'm surprised...off topic i know "
TY, I grew it myself |
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it..
You do, but just the night before
I've just peeked at your profile and you've actually got an impressive todger there, not sure why i'm surprised...off topic i know
TY, I grew it myself "
Well done you!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it..
You do, but just the night before
I've just peeked at your profile and you've actually got an impressive todger there, not sure why i'm surprised...off topic i know
TY, I grew it myself
Well done you!!"
It’s all yours |
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"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it..
You do, but just the night before
I've just peeked at your profile and you've actually got an impressive todger there, not sure why i'm surprised...off topic i know
TY, I grew it myself
Well done you!!
It’s all yours "
Oh go on then. Down the M4 and then around the bend at the bottom |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Once she has some chocolate, coffee, wine...she's normally fine. Actually scrap the chocolate and coffee...just the wine..
Can it be the cheapo stuff?
Yea...love me a bit of lambrusco or asti SPEWmanti
The only wine I know is morning wine
Morning or mourning? But yea, thats ok...as long as its over 11%vol
Morning. It’s very bright yellow though
Ha ha...i know the wine you're talking about. I guess you don't have to pay for it..
You do, but just the night before
I've just peeked at your profile and you've actually got an impressive todger there, not sure why i'm surprised...off topic i know
TY, I grew it myself
Well done you!!
It’s all yours
Oh go on then. Down the M4 and then around the bend at the bottom "
I like the bottom |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Depends how much cake you offer her
How about 2 fingers of a kitkat?
I'd prefer a finger of fudge
2 fingers?
One is just enough "
This is Mr isn’t it? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What amazes me is how it still happens when they claim not to wear any we are not wearing any at that point they turn into a rope ladder to rescue us."
Tremendous knockers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Depends how much cake you offer her
How about 2 fingers of a kitkat?
I'd prefer a finger of fudge
2 fingers?
One is just enough
This is Mr isn’t it?
Why, do you want to give him a treat?"
Sound him? Yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Depends on who twisted them, even when they are untwisted they are never quite the same, a kink always remains  "
There is nothing wrong with a good kink |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok how long has it been?
I'm not in a grumpy mood anymore.
I don’t know cause I’ve not upset her yet "
So are you now asking for advice on how to upset her? Could I suggest you start a new thread, cos this might be fun and I need to go and boil the kettle. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
They usually get over it quicker if you take their mind of it with a cock up the jacksie."
I like our make up sex granny |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ok how long has it been?
I'm not in a grumpy mood anymore.
I don’t know cause I’ve not upset her yet
So are you now asking for advice on how to upset her? Could I suggest you start a new thread, cos this might be fun and I need to go and boil the kettle."
Or start your own |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
As you called her “love” I would leave it for quite a while. And what I mean is you’re fucked "
Thanks love |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"People still wear pants??? Oops
Yours look lovely on my bedroom floor
I forgot where I'd put them. Be a dear and save them for me "
I’m wearing them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I mean I have knickers that spontaneously get themselves into a mathematically unsolvable knot.
I generally just chuck them in a drawer and wait few months...
"
Do they wrap around the contents of your knickers though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A while, she'll never forget though and it will be kept in the reserve ammo for a time it's needed "
I’ve got loads on her, especially when she put that……………… |
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"A while, she'll never forget though and it will be kept in the reserve ammo for a time it's needed
I’ve got loads on her, especially when she put that……………… "
Did she not wash after you'd emptied? |
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"I mean I have knickers that spontaneously get themselves into a mathematically unsolvable knot.
I generally just chuck them in a drawer and wait few months...
Do they wrap around the contents of your knickers though "
Well if you'd like to rummage in my knickers then get in touch.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A while, she'll never forget though and it will be kept in the reserve ammo for a time it's needed
I’ve got loads on her, especially when she put that………………
Did she not wash after you'd emptied? "
I think she wants a mini Rex |
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"…… for a female forumite to calm down after she’s got her knickers in a twist?
Love and Peace
As you called her “love” I would leave it for quite a while. And what I mean is you’re fucked
Thanks love "
You’re welcome dear |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Forever... It's always there, simmering away in the background.
Do you boil bunnies?
No, the bunnies are innocent!"
I’m sleeping with one eye open around you then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Forever... It's always there, simmering away in the background.
Do you boil bunnies?
No, the bunnies are innocent!
I’m sleeping with one eye open around you then
Always a good idea "
I’m not going to sleep now |
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"I'll let you know when I untwist mine shall I?
Currently grumpy as fuck wondering why I don't just delete my profile.
"
Knicker untwisting is a mans job after all we are mostly responsible for the twisting. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"7 years. It’s like breaking a mirror. Seven years bad luck
To be fair the scowl she gives me would crack a mirror
omg who
pm me babes
hope ur ok x"
Thanks hun |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"People still wear pants??? Oops
Yours look lovely on my bedroom floor
I forgot where I'd put them. Be a dear and save them for me
I’m wearing them "
I look forward to peeling them off |
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