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Are we racists?

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By *ffanotdyke OP   Couple  over a year ago

Telford

Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Why do you feel that you have to state it?

Almost like you’re seeking a reaction or an argument.

Couldn’t you just say thanks but no thanks without specifying a reason?

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By *oofy321Man  over a year ago

moon base zero


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

"

I did a similar thread a while ago asking a similar question..and boy did it get out of hand...good luck lol,by the way..only you can say if your are or not x

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"

When did freedom of choice become banned?

"

Who has banned it ?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why do you feel that you have to state it?

Almost like you’re seeking a reaction or an argument.

Couldn’t you just say thanks but no thanks without specifying a reason? "

That's actually a really good point. A simple "sorry, not for us" or even ignoring the message would probably be better that flat out saying you don't find certain people unattractive.

I also find it difficult that you can find EVERYONE from a certain background unattractive but that's a thread for another day

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry


"Why do you feel that you have to state it?

Almost like you’re seeking a reaction or an argument.

Couldn’t you just say thanks but no thanks without specifying a reason?

That's actually a really good point. A simple "sorry, not for us" or even ignoring the message would probably be better that flat out saying you don't find certain people unattractive.

I also find it difficult that you can find EVERYONE from a certain background unattractive but that's a thread for another day "

The difference between say no thanks and saying no thanks you're ****** does sound a bit you know......

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

When did freedom of choice become banned?

Who has banned it ?"

Quite.

The hyperbole of "people don't like what we're doing is exactly the same as the government imprisoning us for what we're doing" is so juvenile.

Freedom of choice/speech also includes people's reactions They're also making choices and speaking for pity's sake

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It had been a while since one of these threads

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It had been a while since one of these threads "

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

I don't like smokers or long beards but my best ever meet was with someone who combined the two. Shows that being open minded really paid off.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You still have freedom of choice. Perhaps a simple no thank you would suffice when turning down those in whom you aren't interested.

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive, but finding someone attractive still doesn't mean you have to fuck them

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By *oofy321Man  over a year ago

moon base zero

[Removed by poster at 15/06/23 09:23:04]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

When did freedom of choice become banned?

Who has banned it ?

Quite.

The hyperbole of "people don't like what we're doing is exactly the same as the government imprisoning us for what we're doing" is so juvenile.

Freedom of choice/speech also includes people's reactions They're also making choices and speaking for pity's sake "

Exactly, people quickly forget that freedom of speech is not the same as freedom from consequence

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By *oofy321Man  over a year ago

moon base zero


"It had been a while since one of these threads "

I have wished them good luck lol x

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry


"It had been a while since one of these threads "

You think they went away?

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By *allySlinkyWoman  over a year ago

Leeds


"

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive"

How easy is it to distinguish between Eastern and Western Europeans just by looking at them ?

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By *otbeefandonionsCouple  over a year ago

Bathgate

Racist? Possibly

Close minded? Definitely

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive

How easy is it to distinguish between Eastern and Western Europeans just by looking at them ?"

Indeed. You'll have to ask the OP. I feel for the Antipodeans and Americans

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By *zael ElohimMan  over a year ago

Scarborough

Yes you probably are but I don't know you so maybe you have good reason. But as there is not a single race of people without gorgeous humans in it, I would say that is a you problem.

Also since people keep going on about choice, we also have the choice to just shut up but we never seem to take that choice.

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By *agerMorganMan  over a year ago

Canvey Island

You’re not alone either, seen plenty of profiles on here stating similar, both couples & single ladies.

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By *xXgemmaXxXCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 15/06/23 09:34:22]

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By *eroLondonMan  over a year ago

Mayfair

Are you racist? Let's leave that unanswered...

Do I find •you and your profile• unpalatable and unappealing? Quite possibly. Why? Because of the unsavoury manner and rhetoric of your stated 'preferences'. First of all I'm not critiquing your profile because you haven't asked for profile advice and therefore I'm not allowed to do so.

But, for example, when I come across a profile which states "only looking for apples, thank you.", that's fine. The repulsive red flags for me are when the narrative reads "only looking for apples, but not oranges or pears because we find them reprehensible and utterly disgusting!".

I like your profile as it is. Why? Because it's a natural filter for me to give a wide berth and for me to sêê the type of person/s you really are.

Are you racist?... ...

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By *ickdasterdly51Man  over a year ago

Lingfield


"Why do you feel that you have to state it?

Almost like you’re seeking a reaction or an argument.

Couldn’t you just say thanks but no thanks without specifying a reason? "

This^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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By *xXgemmaXxXCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"You still have freedom of choice. Perhaps a simple no thank you would suffice when turning down those in whom you aren't interested.

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive, but finding someone attractive still doesn't mean you have to fuck them"

They are saying they find non Europeans (and Eastern Europeans I’m guessing) physically unattractive so I assume that means no one from for example the USA, Canada Australia??

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By *ustus555Couple  over a year ago

close


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

"

Mind how you step. Got a forum ban for this. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Say which group with your chest. If you’re bad.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If you feel the need to ask, you probably already know the answer.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman  over a year ago

Carlisle usually

What you put out there will affect how people look at you.

If you say something that sounds racist, people are going to think you're racist.

I don't think there's ever a need to go into specifics. A simple and polite not for me/us thanks does the job without causing offence.

Why cause unnecessary strife?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Or are we dancer?

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land

Just wondering if a profile said all people over the age of 50 are unattractive. Which is complete nonsense of course (Salma Hayek hot as hell, and she is 56), what would you think of the people behind the profile? Wouldn't it be better for them to say we are seeking people from the age bracket 30-50?

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

When did freedom of choice become banned?

Who has banned it ?

Quite.

The hyperbole of "people don't like what we're doing is exactly the same as the government imprisoning us for what we're doing" is so juvenile.

Freedom of choice/speech also includes people's reactions They're also making choices and speaking for pity's sake

Exactly, people quickly forget that freedom of speech is not the same as freedom from consequence "

I've heard the argument that consequences are tyranny. Seriously.

I don't know if people are just shovelling bullshit at a wall to make people give up, or they really do believe that they can say and do whatever they want, but no one else can respond or reply as they want. (Or that freedom of speech/choice is entirely absolute - it isn't!)

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By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"Just wondering if a profile said all people over the age of 50 are unattractive. Which is complete nonsense of course (Salma Hayek hot as hell, and she is 56), what would you think of the people behind the profile? Wouldn't it be better for them to say we are seeking people from the age bracket 30-50?

"

Yes, this. It's like you're deliberately trying to be provocative. Are you racist? I mean...

Also, because I'm really curious - what's this Western European ideal that you find physically attractive?

All that being said OP. Don't change your profile. Keep it as is. You really, really should.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"You still have freedom of choice. Perhaps a simple no thank you would suffice when turning down those in whom you aren't interested.

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive, but finding someone attractive still doesn't mean you have to fuck them

They are saying they find non Europeans (and Eastern Europeans I’m guessing) physically unattractive so I assume that means no one from for example the USA, Canada Australia??"

As an Australian I can speak to my experience. (I'm of broadly Anglo Irish heritage, if you believe that makes a difference. My roots in Australia span back to the first five years of colonisation)

Australia is British really and I'm not really foreign.

Apparently. I should be grateful to be included in such an elite club.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You still have freedom of choice. Perhaps a simple no thank you would suffice when turning down those in whom you aren't interested.

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive, but finding someone attractive still doesn't mean you have to fuck them

They are saying they find non Europeans (and Eastern Europeans I’m guessing) physically unattractive so I assume that means no one from for example the USA, Canada Australia??

As an Australian I can speak to my experience. (I'm of broadly Anglo Irish heritage, if you believe that makes a difference. My roots in Australia span back to the first five years of colonisation)

Australia is British really and I'm not really foreign.

Apparently. I should be grateful to be included in such an elite club.

"

Where’s my land if it’s not Australia

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"You still have freedom of choice. Perhaps a simple no thank you would suffice when turning down those in whom you aren't interested.

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive, but finding someone attractive still doesn't mean you have to fuck them

They are saying they find non Europeans (and Eastern Europeans I’m guessing) physically unattractive so I assume that means no one from for example the USA, Canada Australia??

As an Australian I can speak to my experience. (I'm of broadly Anglo Irish heritage, if you believe that makes a difference. My roots in Australia span back to the first five years of colonisation)

Australia is British really and I'm not really foreign.

Apparently. I should be grateful to be included in such an elite club.

Where’s my land if it’s not Australia "

As an Aussie I'd say you'd be most welcome, I'm sure.

But what would I know?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sexual preferences based on race is racist. People who like to shout “it’s just my preference” don’t want to admit it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You still have freedom of choice. Perhaps a simple no thank you would suffice when turning down those in whom you aren't interested.

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive, but finding someone attractive still doesn't mean you have to fuck them

They are saying they find non Europeans (and Eastern Europeans I’m guessing) physically unattractive so I assume that means no one from for example the USA, Canada Australia??

As an Australian I can speak to my experience. (I'm of broadly Anglo Irish heritage, if you believe that makes a difference. My roots in Australia span back to the first five years of colonisation)

Australia is British really and I'm not really foreign.

Apparently. I should be grateful to be included in such an elite club.

Where’s my land if it’s not Australia

As an Aussie I'd say you'd be most welcome, I'm sure.

But what would I know? "

But, swing, you’re native to the land.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"You still have freedom of choice. Perhaps a simple no thank you would suffice when turning down those in whom you aren't interested.

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive, but finding someone attractive still doesn't mean you have to fuck them

They are saying they find non Europeans (and Eastern Europeans I’m guessing) physically unattractive so I assume that means no one from for example the USA, Canada Australia??

As an Australian I can speak to my experience. (I'm of broadly Anglo Irish heritage, if you believe that makes a difference. My roots in Australia span back to the first five years of colonisation)

Australia is British really and I'm not really foreign.

Apparently. I should be grateful to be included in such an elite club.

Where’s my land if it’s not Australia

As an Aussie I'd say you'd be most welcome, I'm sure.

But what would I know?

But, swing, you’re native to the land. "

Aiyeee

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"

When did freedom of choice become banned?

Who has banned it ?

Quite.

The hyperbole of "people don't like what we're doing is exactly the same as the government imprisoning us for what we're doing" is so juvenile.

Freedom of choice/speech also includes people's reactions They're also making choices and speaking for pity's sake

Exactly, people quickly forget that freedom of speech is not the same as freedom from consequence

I've heard the argument that consequences are tyranny. Seriously.

I don't know if people are just shovelling bullshit at a wall to make people give up, or they really do believe that they can say and do whatever they want, but no one else can respond or reply as they want. (Or that freedom of speech/choice is entirely absolute - it isn't!)"

It's like the 'offence is taken not given ' argument. Basically some people want to say anything they please and abdicate themselves of all responsibility for any of the consequences. Unfortunately we have public figures with huge followings who follow this line of thinking which makes it acceptable

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land

"When did freedom of choice become banned?"

This is just nonsense cited by those when their nonsense is called out. Has anyone told you you have to have sex with anyone you don't find attractive? I'm guessing not so you still have freedom of choice with who you have sex with

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry

This could become a toxic stew of race, nationalism and identity. Not nice in this heat or at any time.

I never understood why racists find being called racist so objectionable.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

When did freedom of choice become banned?

Who has banned it ?

Quite.

The hyperbole of "people don't like what we're doing is exactly the same as the government imprisoning us for what we're doing" is so juvenile.

Freedom of choice/speech also includes people's reactions They're also making choices and speaking for pity's sake

Exactly, people quickly forget that freedom of speech is not the same as freedom from consequence

I've heard the argument that consequences are tyranny. Seriously.

I don't know if people are just shovelling bullshit at a wall to make people give up, or they really do believe that they can say and do whatever they want, but no one else can respond or reply as they want. (Or that freedom of speech/choice is entirely absolute - it isn't!)

It's like the 'offence is taken not given ' argument. Basically some people want to say anything they please and abdicate themselves of all responsibility for any of the consequences. Unfortunately we have public figures with huge followings who follow this line of thinking which makes it acceptable"

Exactly!

People are - or should be - aware of the context in which they're speaking, and be aware that others are likely to have a variety of reactions and responses, most of which they're entitled to (freedom of expression not being unlimited etc)

Often "offence being taken" is a victim blaming stance - one which, ironically, is often spouted by people who howl their victimhood vociferously if you disagree with them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

For me you have the right to be attracted or not attracted to anyone, the minute you describe race/ethnicity, skin colour or religion into reasons for no attraction it boarders racism.

This is my own opinion, it is not fact and I'm not calling anyone racist.

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By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

I'm confused.

I know 'Western Europeans' of all ethnicities, so how do you (visually) identify a Western European?

Has to be the oddest description I've seen in a long while.

A

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This could become a toxic stew of race, nationalism and identity. Not nice in this heat or at any time.

I never understood why racists find being called racist so objectionable."

Tbf, we can’t stop discussing race/ racism just because it’s hot.

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By *ts the taking part thatMan  over a year ago

southampton


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

"

Don't fall into the trap, let others think of you as they will & you can't change that.

Usually the insecure are the ones trying to call others names such as cis, racist, terf, bigot etc.

They are just names, ignore it.

Sticks & stones.....

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I'm confused.

I know 'Western Europeans' of all ethnicities, so how do you (visually) identify a Western European?

Has to be the oddest description I've seen in a long while.

A"

I think the criteria for entry into the newly founded Australia was something like north western European (vom vom vom) so I am not shocked

(Name in case you want to look it up - the White Australia Policy. After our catastrophic losses in the second world war we graciously let Greeks and Italians be included as white, and people flipped their shit )

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry


"This could become a toxic stew of race, nationalism and identity. Not nice in this heat or at any time.

I never understood why racists find being called racist so objectionable.

Tbf, we can’t stop discussing race/ racism just because it’s hot. "

True, but somethings like bins, drains and racism are don't do well in the heat.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This could become a toxic stew of race, nationalism and identity. Not nice in this heat or at any time.

I never understood why racists find being called racist so objectionable."

Indeed. I wish more racists were open about it. That way we could all avoid them.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"This could become a toxic stew of race, nationalism and identity. Not nice in this heat or at any time.

I never understood why racists find being called racist so objectionable.

Tbf, we can’t stop discussing race/ racism just because it’s hot.

True, but somethings like bins, drains and racism are don't do well in the heat."

It's never the right time to discuss some of these issues, apparently. Bit like guns in the US.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

I'm assuming that you may not be racists. It's worth never ignoring the potential reactions we may impose on others, by our behaviour etc.

I'd probably put something direct, if I was having a serious problem with something but state it clearly, reducing ambiguity and possible upset. If not, I'd deal with things on an individual basis. You don't have to explain yourselves to others for lack of interest.

If I just wanted to meet a specific race, then I'd state who I'm looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This could become a toxic stew of race, nationalism and identity. Not nice in this heat or at any time.

I never understood why racists find being called racist so objectionable.

Indeed. I wish more racists were open about it. That way we could all avoid them."

They always make themselves known. Even in subtle ways

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By *inda May SimmonsTV/TS  over a year ago

hexham

Oh crumbs !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If you say you don't find black people attractive, you've either met every blank person on the planet and decided that you don't find them attractive (unlikely), or your making a sweeping generalisation about a group of people based upon a shared characteristic.

If in this case it is there skin tone, then yes, it can appear racist.

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry


"This could become a toxic stew of race, nationalism and identity. Not nice in this heat or at any time.

I never understood why racists find being called racist so objectionable.

Tbf, we can’t stop discussing race/ racism just because it’s hot.

True, but somethings like bins, drains and racism are don't do well in the heat.

It's never the right time to discuss some of these issues, apparently. Bit like guns in the US."

I missed that part of it not being the right time.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"This could become a toxic stew of race, nationalism and identity. Not nice in this heat or at any time.

I never understood why racists find being called racist so objectionable.

Indeed. I wish more racists were open about it. That way we could all avoid them."

I think "racist" has become a word that no one will attach themselves to, even if it applies to them.

Those who might fit the criteria (I'm talking in the abstract here) will say "I'm not that, I'm a good person" and try to redefine it away from them.

Ok, maybe, but it means a bit more than "bad person".

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There are a lot of profiles on here much like yours.

I find it funny being mixed race.

Am I only half accepted? If it were a phonecall, you'd swoon over my voice.

Surely you saying all non Europeans aren't attractive to you is the same as me saying all English people are racist..

All of them??!

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"There are a lot of profiles on here much like yours.

I find it funny being mixed race.

Am I only half accepted? If it were a phonecall, you'd swoon over my voice.

Surely you saying all non Europeans aren't attractive to you is the same as me saying all English people are racist..

All of them??!

"

I'm not prejudiced, I have English friends!

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By *arlitosWayMan  over a year ago

Brentwood

What a closed-minded archaic couple!! No wonder they haven’t had a meet for 7 years lol!!

I get that some people are prejudiced but I don’t get why they feel the need to express it all the time. Block/delete/ignore works fine.

I for example have a thing against bareback creampie gangbangs for obvious reasons lol. So I discriminate against those who attend these events and those that invite me to such irrelevant of colour.

A little off topic I know but just wanted to get that off my chest as it’s becoming more and more common on here.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yeah you are without realising. Because how can you know what every person of a certain ethnicity looks like? It’s not possible.

You’re pre-judging a person based solely on their race.

It’s well within your rights to find whoever attractive. But to do so BEFORE you’ve even seen that person means you have some deep routed prejudice and small mindedness. Everyone of a certain ethnic group does not look the same, does not have the same facial or body features, same personality or even the same skin tone.

PS you also have salop in your name. which, although Latin, you undoubtedly are aware that it’s a well known phrase that’s been appropriated football hooligans in your area.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What a closed-minded archaic couple!! No wonder they haven’t had a meet for 7 years lol!!

I get that some people are prejudiced but I don’t get why they feel the need to express it all the time. Block/delete/ignore works fine.

I for example have a thing against bareback creampie gangbangs for obvious reasons lol. So I discriminate against those who attend these events and those that invite me to such irrelevant of colour.

A little off topic I know but just wanted to get that off my chest as it’s becoming more and more common on here.

"

Well said

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Just do you, why you felt the need to start a thread about it is any bodies guess....if you excepting thr firumites to rally your cause. Thr likely hold of that happening, well put it this way...

There's more chance of.

Tunneling out of Joesph Fritzels basement, and coming up in Fred West's garden

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By *etro1940sCouple  over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

It is tricky and sensitive - we are open minded and take each person as they come - but of course physical attributes (say I love hairy chests on a man) play a role ... it is best in our humble opinion to not state a racial or demographic preference ... merely to say no thank you if it does not work out x Anne

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Aitch the rapper would not approve of all of this. Just saying.

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By *oe8logsMan  over a year ago

reading

Well there are loads of profiles that state I can’t message them

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive."

In my opinion, the answer to your question is yes, you are.

If you’ve met everyone of the ethnic backgrounds you choose to exclude then possibly not, but as you immediately exclude on the basis of their ethnicity then absolutely yes… and very much your loss.

Every race, gender and orientation has beautiful people, and we are all human.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When I see a profile who excludes based upon race, I block them - regardless of their preference. Only meet ‘Western Europeans’? Block. Only meet BBC? Block.

Fetishisation of race is antiquated nonsense.

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By *icolerobbieCouple  over a year ago

walsall

Some people are racist. That’s up to them. No one can force you to change your views. If you want to be racist go ahead, but you have to accept that a lot of people don’t like racists.

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry


"Aitch the rapper would not approve of all of this. Just saying. "

I don't like censorship but at the same time I don't like the engagement level either or creeping acceptance of it.

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By *erence IIMan  over a year ago

Irrelevant


"

When did freedom of choice become banned?

Who has banned it ?

Quite.

The hyperbole of "people don't like what we're doing is exactly the same as the government imprisoning us for what we're doing" is so juvenile.

Freedom of choice/speech also includes people's reactions They're also making choices and speaking for pity's sake

Exactly, people quickly forget that freedom of speech is not the same as freedom from consequence

I've heard the argument that consequences are tyranny. Seriously.

I don't know if people are just shovelling bullshit at a wall to make people give up, or they really do believe that they can say and do whatever they want, but no one else can respond or reply as they want. (Or that freedom of speech/choice is entirely absolute - it isn't!)

It's like the 'offence is taken not given ' argument. Basically some people want to say anything they please and abdicate themselves of all responsibility for any of the consequences. Unfortunately we have public figures with huge followings who follow this line of thinking which makes it acceptable"

I'm not sure I agree with this. Offense is taken not given but that doesn't mean the person causing the offence has no responsibility. As humans we are intelligent enough to understand that other people find certain behavoirs/language offensive. Armed with that knowledge we can then chose whether or not to go ahead anyway.

The bigger problem is actually denying another person's right to be offended. Saying "I don't believe this is offensive so it's your problem if you're offended" is very, very different to acknowledging offense is taken. It is however an attitude that is far far easier to spot in other people than to see in our own interactions. In my experience though this is an attitude found in nearly everyone. As soon as you attach a moral stance to an opinion you automatically feel anyone who disagrees can be ignored and if they're offended by your stance - tough. That leads to the hypocritical stand point that says other people are the cause of us being offended but are also to blame when they're offended by us. This stance become more prevalent the further people's views get from central positions and is why the right rage against the easily offended woke and the left deny the right to be offended by a range of personal expressions.

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By *wistedTooCouple  over a year ago

Frimley

Any moron can tell that physically being attracted or not attracted to someone with certain physical traits doesn’t make someone a racist.

However, some people who are racist will include that in their reasons for being racist.

But no, simply having a biological preference from physical traits doesn’t make you racist any more than not fancying bigger or smaller body types doesn’t make you sizeist. Doesn’t make you not like or interact with or allow freedoms of those people. That’s wildly different.

It’s like people want to forced everyone to want to fuck everyone else regardless of who they are attracted to. It doesn’t work like that.

We have no particular races we aren’t attracted to particularly, we have played with people of various races. But we don’t think if someone doesn’t that they’re automatically racist.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Feels like you are blocking some possible fantastic experiences. Your choice.

The fact that you are vocal about it implies a judgement.

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By *ickdasterdly51Man  over a year ago

Lingfield

I'm still a bit confused by the OPs post. What about black and Asian people whose parents moved here so have lived in Western Europe all their lives. Are they acceptable to the OP? What about Canadians and Americans who last time I looked aren't in Western Europe, are they unacceptable? What about Poles, Ukrainians, Russians (current situation excepted), are they all unacceptable? Or does he mean people who aren't white?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/06/23 12:22:14]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm still a bit confused by the OPs post. What about black and Asian people whose parents moved here so have lived in Western Europe all their lives. Are they acceptable to the OP? What about Canadians and Americans who last time I looked aren't in Western Europe, are they unacceptable? What about Poles, Ukrainians, Russians (current situation excepted), are they all unacceptable? Or does he mean people who aren't white?"

We know that they meant white people with Western European ancestry. They’re expressing it in a particular way but I think it’s pretty clear that’s what they mean. It’s fair to assume that Americans and Canadians with white skin and Western European ancestry would be fine.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"There's a famous song called everyone is a little bit racist from the show Avenue Q. Worth googling.

Now, I'm one of an ethnic group and have had racism all my life?

Sometimes the words hurt but I also make jokes about my race because I want to.

On saying that, am I racist if I fancy a race group because one has thin lips but the other has huge lips and I'm not into massive lips, but I do like naturally Tom Hardy type lips. ??? No, I don't think so. It's just what I physically see and nothing to do with racism. "

What race group has ‘huge lips’?

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By *uzie69xTV/TS  over a year ago

Maidstone


"Some people are racist. That’s up to them. No one can force you to change your views. If you want to be racist go ahead, but you have to accept that a lot of people don’t like racists.

"

True ... but OP aside, there are some really sophisticated racists. At work we have very clear discrimination policies backed up by the law. And generally there isn't any overt racism. But down the pub, the ranting and raving you wouldn't think are the same people.

This troubled me because they clearly understand what racism is and desist at work. So what then drives all this illogical hate? Insecurity?

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By *uzie69xTV/TS  over a year ago

Maidstone


"What race group has ‘huge lips’? "

The TOWIE folks with their trout pouts... Don't chya know....

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By *ickdasterdly51Man  over a year ago

Lingfield


"I'm still a bit confused by the OPs post. What about black and Asian people whose parents moved here so have lived in Western Europe all their lives. Are they acceptable to the OP? What about Canadians and Americans who last time I looked aren't in Western Europe, are they unacceptable? What about Poles, Ukrainians, Russians (current situation excepted), are they all unacceptable? Or does he mean people who aren't white?

We know that they meant white people with Western European ancestry. They’re expressing it in a particular way but I think it’s pretty clear that’s what they mean. It’s fair to assume that Americans and Canadians with white skin and Western European ancestry would be fine. "

That was my guess too but I don't understand why they haven't got the guts to simply say that they don't like non white people. They would have their cherished freedom of expression and I'd have my freedom to use the block button as I don't like racists (which I have done anyway).

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some people are racist. That’s up to them. No one can force you to change your views. If you want to be racist go ahead, but you have to accept that a lot of people don’t like racists.

True ... but OP aside, there are some really sophisticated racists. At work we have very clear discrimination policies backed up by the law. And generally there isn't any overt racism. But down the pub, the ranting and raving you wouldn't think are the same people.

This troubled me because they clearly understand what racism is and desist at work. So what then drives all this illogical hate? Insecurity?"

It’s interesting because the idea that racism is an issue amongst people that aren’t intelligent is one of the funniest things, simply used as a way of simplifying and downplaying the scale of the issue.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I'm still a bit confused by the OPs post. What about black and Asian people whose parents moved here so have lived in Western Europe all their lives. Are they acceptable to the OP? What about Canadians and Americans who last time I looked aren't in Western Europe, are they unacceptable? What about Poles, Ukrainians, Russians (current situation excepted), are they all unacceptable? Or does he mean people who aren't white?

We know that they meant white people with Western European ancestry. They’re expressing it in a particular way but I think it’s pretty clear that’s what they mean. It’s fair to assume that Americans and Canadians with white skin and Western European ancestry would be fine.

That was my guess too but I don't understand why they haven't got the guts to simply say that they don't like non white people. They would have their cherished freedom of expression and I'd have my freedom to use the block button as I don't like racists (which I have done anyway). "

Oh but they’ve said it. And I’m sure they’ve been blocked for it

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By *lym4realCouple  over a year ago

plymouth

As someone has already said why state it though ?? and all down the personal choice in the end and we all have them though ?? and the so called westernn ideal is rather ironic when during this weather most who state they prefer it are all busy on the beach etc etc all attempting to go a different colour ?? not forgetting the weird stuff involving lips ??

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

It's getting hot in here

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Some people are racist. That’s up to them. No one can force you to change your views. If you want to be racist go ahead, but you have to accept that a lot of people don’t like racists.

True ... but OP aside, there are some really sophisticated racists. At work we have very clear discrimination policies backed up by the law. And generally there isn't any overt racism. But down the pub, the ranting and raving you wouldn't think are the same people.

This troubled me because they clearly understand what racism is and desist at work. So what then drives all this illogical hate? Insecurity?"

I think the work thing is, they (no specific people discussed) know they can't get away with it. Someone might be able to take action if they do it in a way that meaningfully hurts them.

When the people they harm have no recourse, the hood comes off.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some people are racist. That’s up to them. No one can force you to change your views. If you want to be racist go ahead, but you have to accept that a lot of people don’t like racists.

True ... but OP aside, there are some really sophisticated racists. At work we have very clear discrimination policies backed up by the law. And generally there isn't any overt racism. But down the pub, the ranting and raving you wouldn't think are the same people.

This troubled me because they clearly understand what racism is and desist at work. So what then drives all this illogical hate? Insecurity?

I think the work thing is, they (no specific people discussed) know they can't get away with it. Someone might be able to take action if they do it in a way that meaningfully hurts them.

When the people they harm have no recourse, the hood comes off."

The white hood?

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Some people are racist. That’s up to them. No one can force you to change your views. If you want to be racist go ahead, but you have to accept that a lot of people don’t like racists.

True ... but OP aside, there are some really sophisticated racists. At work we have very clear discrimination policies backed up by the law. And generally there isn't any overt racism. But down the pub, the ranting and raving you wouldn't think are the same people.

This troubled me because they clearly understand what racism is and desist at work. So what then drives all this illogical hate? Insecurity?

I think the work thing is, they (no specific people discussed) know they can't get away with it. Someone might be able to take action if they do it in a way that meaningfully hurts them.

When the people they harm have no recourse, the hood comes off.

The white hood? "

... Maybe

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By *uzie69xTV/TS  over a year ago

Maidstone


"It's interesting because the idea that racism is an issue amongst people that aren’t intelligent is one of the funniest things, simply used as a way of simplifying and downplaying the scale of the issue. "

Rumbled! You are correct, I shouldn't be an intellectual snob!

But to me, because racism is so dumb, I just associate it with dumb people...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" As someone has already said why state it though ?? and all down the personal choice in the end and we all have them though ?? and the so called westernn ideal is rather ironic when during this weather most who state they prefer it are all busy on the beach etc etc all attempting to go a different colour ?? not forgetting the weird stuff involving lips ?? "
I prefer really not to speak. if I speak about appropriation of stereotypically ‘Black’ features that have historically been deemed undesirable then I will be in big big trouble. I don’t want to be.

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By *uzie69xTV/TS  over a year ago

Maidstone


"It's getting hot in here "

Sorry that's cos of my second bag of popcorn in the microwave...

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By *phialtesMan  over a year ago

Beyond the Wall

Sexual racism is a thing apparently.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It's interesting because the idea that racism is an issue amongst people that aren’t intelligent is one of the funniest things, simply used as a way of simplifying and downplaying the scale of the issue.

Rumbled! You are correct, I shouldn't be an intellectual snob!

But to me, because racism is so dumb, I just associate it with dumb people..."

I think it underestimates the scope and depth of the problem.

It's stupid and unthinkable to me too, but that doesn't mean there isn't significant brain power (as well as political power and financial backing) behind white supremacist movements and other forms of discrimination by race, culture, etc.

(Which is far removed from the OP here, of course, but I feel the observation re intelligence bears on all aspects of prejudice)

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


" As someone has already said why state it though ?? and all down the personal choice in the end and we all have them though ?? and the so called westernn ideal is rather ironic when during this weather most who state they prefer it are all busy on the beach etc etc all attempting to go a different colour ?? not forgetting the weird stuff involving lips ?? I prefer really not to speak. if I speak about appropriation of stereotypically ‘Black’ features that have historically been deemed undesirable then I will be in big big trouble. I don’t want to be. "

Talk dirty to me baby

Maybe in private

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By *allMeBeeMan  over a year ago

Wellingborough


"Or are we dancer?"

Haha!

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"It's getting hot in here

Sorry that's cos of my second bag of popcorn in the microwave..."

What flavour I may come join you

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By *londebiguyMan  over a year ago

Southport


"Why do you feel that you have to state it?

Almost like you’re seeking a reaction or an argument.

Couldn’t you just say thanks but no thanks without specifying a reason? "

I'd see it as not wasting people's time.

No one seems to have a problem with

'no attached /married', 'no single males' or 'no bi men'

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By *uzie69xTV/TS  over a year ago

Maidstone


"Which is far removed from the OP here, of course, but I feel the observation re intelligence bears on all aspects of prejudice"

There speaks a wise soul...

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By *ickdasterdly51Man  over a year ago

Lingfield


"It's interesting because the idea that racism is an issue amongst people that aren’t intelligent is one of the funniest things, simply used as a way of simplifying and downplaying the scale of the issue.

Rumbled! You are correct, I shouldn't be an intellectual snob!

But to me, because racism is so dumb, I just associate it with dumb people...

I think it underestimates the scope and depth of the problem.

It's stupid and unthinkable to me too, but that doesn't mean there isn't significant brain power (as well as political power and financial backing) behind white supremacist movements and other forms of discrimination by race, culture, etc.

(Which is far removed from the OP here, of course, but I feel the observation re intelligence bears on all aspects of prejudice)"

I agree, just because someone is intelligent doesn't mean they can't feel they are superior to someone else purely because of their skin colour. They might just be better at hiding it but it manifests itself in other ways.

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By *ack688Man  over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

It’s a fine line between preference and racism in situations like this. If we take a definition of racism as meaning any action that differentiates between people on the basis of their race, rather than who they are as individuals, then a blanket ‘no people of ‘X’ race’ is by that definition racist, it takes no account of who they might be as a person and presupposes that everyone of that race is, or will be unattractive to you for whatever reason. Even if we take other physical traits such as how big someone’s dick is, or their boobs are, or their weight, or any disabilities they might have etc can be said to be a preference, but also runs the risk of objectifying the person based on a physical characteristic again rather than being anything to do with who they are as a person.

Bottom line, if you don’t want to run the risk of being outed for being racist then don’t put comments like that in your profiles and turn people down individually.

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By *uzie69xTV/TS  over a year ago

Maidstone


"It's getting hot in here

Sorry that's cos of my second bag of popcorn in the microwave...

What flavour I may come join you "

Of course... Butterscotch is lush...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Why do you feel that you have to state it?

Almost like you’re seeking a reaction or an argument.

Couldn’t you just say thanks but no thanks without specifying a reason?

I'd see it as not wasting people's time.

No one seems to have a problem with

'no attached /married', 'no single males' or 'no bi men'"

Actually the only comparable one here is ‘no bi men’ which many people have highlighted can often be rooted in homophobia and homophobic stereotypes.

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"It's getting hot in here

Sorry that's cos of my second bag of popcorn in the microwave...

What flavour I may come join you

Of course... Butterscotch is lush..."

Now I have a lob on, like sweet food porn in 3 words

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"Why do you feel that you have to state it?

Almost like you’re seeking a reaction or an argument.

Couldn’t you just say thanks but no thanks without specifying a reason?

I'd see it as not wasting people's time.

No one seems to have a problem with

'no attached /married', 'no single males' or 'no bi men'

Actually the only comparable one here is ‘no bi men’ which many people have highlighted can often be rooted in homophobia and homophobic stereotypes. "

And people say I'm deep......

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's interesting because the idea that racism is an issue amongst people that aren’t intelligent is one of the funniest things, simply used as a way of simplifying and downplaying the scale of the issue.

Rumbled! You are correct, I shouldn't be an intellectual snob!

But to me, because racism is so dumb, I just associate it with dumb people...

I think it underestimates the scope and depth of the problem.

It's stupid and unthinkable to me too, but that doesn't mean there isn't significant brain power (as well as political power and financial backing) behind white supremacist movements and other forms of discrimination by race, culture, etc.

(Which is far removed from the OP here, of course, but I feel the observation re intelligence bears on all aspects of prejudice)"

Also… some of the most intelligent minds in history that we consistently cite in our academic learning have been raging white supremacists and racists.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" As someone has already said why state it though ?? and all down the personal choice in the end and we all have them though ?? and the so called westernn ideal is rather ironic when during this weather most who state they prefer it are all busy on the beach etc etc all attempting to go a different colour ?? not forgetting the weird stuff involving lips ?? I prefer really not to speak. if I speak about appropriation of stereotypically ‘Black’ features that have historically been deemed undesirable then I will be in big big trouble. I don’t want to be.

Talk dirty to me baby

Maybe in private "

Stop! You’re turning me on!

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By *_elia DominaTV/TS  over a year ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

You will find that everyone is a little bit racist, regardless of whether they say they are or not.

It is down to how you express your intentions that determines if other think you are or not.

Example.

We don't meet X... could be seen as racist.

Our preference is Y.... Same thing but, doesn't come across so harshly, if you get my meaning.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan  over a year ago

London


"

I also find it difficult that you can find EVERYONE from a certain background unattractive but that's a thread for another day "

Yeah, I honestly find this insistence people make a bit weird.

If a "no ethnicity x" person met someone who was a fashion model, very funny, interesting, shared a lot of their opinions,tastes,hobbies etc, but just happened to be ethnicity x, they'd totally rule them out?

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By *ucka39Man  over a year ago

Newcastle

Just put on the bio what your looking for rather than not it becomes a preference of choice

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By *lipzer KnicksaffWoman  over a year ago

Up My Own Arse Apparently


"You will find that everyone is a little bit racist, regardless of whether they say they are or not.

It is down to how you express your intentions that determines if other think you are or not.

Example.

We don't meet X... could be seen as racist.

Our preference is Y.... Same thing but, doesn't come across so harshly, if you get my meaning.

"

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By *hetalkingstoveMan  over a year ago

London

Further, as much as people on fabs like to shout "Preference!" as a simple justification for anything, preferences actually tend to have reasons behind them.

A preference against a particular might be totally innocent, or it might be because that person holds negative stereotypes about that race.

People on fabs often kid themselves that no one is in the latter category.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"It's interesting because the idea that racism is an issue amongst people that aren’t intelligent is one of the funniest things, simply used as a way of simplifying and downplaying the scale of the issue.

Rumbled! You are correct, I shouldn't be an intellectual snob!

But to me, because racism is so dumb, I just associate it with dumb people...

I think it underestimates the scope and depth of the problem.

It's stupid and unthinkable to me too, but that doesn't mean there isn't significant brain power (as well as political power and financial backing) behind white supremacist movements and other forms of discrimination by race, culture, etc.

(Which is far removed from the OP here, of course, but I feel the observation re intelligence bears on all aspects of prejudice)

Also… some of the most intelligent minds in history that we consistently cite in our academic learning have been raging white supremacists and racists. "

But that doesn't count because reasons!

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


" As someone has already said why state it though ?? and all down the personal choice in the end and we all have them though ?? and the so called westernn ideal is rather ironic when during this weather most who state they prefer it are all busy on the beach etc etc all attempting to go a different colour ?? not forgetting the weird stuff involving lips ?? I prefer really not to speak. if I speak about appropriation of stereotypically ‘Black’ features that have historically been deemed undesirable then I will be in big big trouble. I don’t want to be.

Talk dirty to me baby

Maybe in private

Stop! You’re turning me on! "

Who me?

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By *uzie69xTV/TS  over a year ago

Maidstone


"Also… some of the most intelligent minds in history that we consistently cite in our academic learning have been raging white supremacists and racists. "

I guess at a national political level, they may personally not believe being white is particularly superior but pander to the dumb populus to gain votes? So I guess it comes back to ethics and moral compass...

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading

So you are saying you do not find ANYONE of a particular race attractive? I find that hard to conceive of.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Also… some of the most intelligent minds in history that we consistently cite in our academic learning have been raging white supremacists and racists.

I guess at a national political level, they may personally not believe being white is particularly superior but pander to the dumb populus to gain votes? So I guess it comes back to ethics and moral compass..."

I think it's more, it was a different time and a lot of people thought that way.

To my mind we gloss over it far too much, and should probably spend less time patting ourselves on the back and more time trying to learn from the past, even when it's evil. (And no I don't mean "they did bad things and we're great". I mean "our society is in part built from bad things and we need to do better")

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan  over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

How about this? I find that in general, most people of my own race are rarely attractive,to me in a physical sense. Also, I find that there is less of a spark on an intellectual level. Possibly due to culture and upbringing.

What I DO find more objectionable is fetishising reducing people to their most basic elements. Like their genitals, size and colour and the generalised narrative. What is apparent is that many couples are of a particular race yet only see a certain other race as appealing for sex.

I do see elements of my views which places me as a hypocrite btw. But I thought it was worth me posting as its a complicated dichotomy. Not seeking any affirmation or validation.

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"How about this? I find that in general, most people of my own race are rarely attractive,to me in a physical sense. Also, I find that there is less of a spark on an intellectual level. Possibly due to culture and upbringing.

What I DO find more objectionable is fetishising reducing people to their most basic elements. Like their genitals, size and colour and the generalised narrative. What is apparent is that many couples are of a particular race yet only see a certain other race as appealing for sex.

I do see elements of my views which places me as a hypocrite btw. But I thought it was worth me posting as its a complicated dichotomy. Not seeking any affirmation or validation. "

We're all a mess of contradiction sometimes

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man  over a year ago

BRIDPORT

These threads always make me chuckle.

Comments from both sides of opinion facilitate the chuckles in equal measure.

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By *andN2Couple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

"

Well there are about 6.9 billion non-white people on the planet. To say there isn’t a single one you’d find attractive because of the colour of their skin, is a bit racist.

That’s different from saying you generally don’t find this average trait or characteristics attractive, accepting there will always be exceptions.

Like I generally don’t find ginger people physically attractive. But there are a few that totally float my boat

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By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

Is it racist to take every member of an ethnic group (that you’ve somehow defined in your unyielding sagacity) and neatly set them on the shelf never to be considered as humans to be courted, dated, loved, fucked, married, whatever. I'd argue yes!

Seeing it trite to suggest that anyone is under the obligation to increase their amorous diversity, I propose a humane compromise. See people as individuals before you see them as a caricature of some race you supposedly “don’t date.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman  over a year ago

Reading

Also race is far more of a political construct than of biology.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

"

If your goal is to exclude some people of a particular ethnic background, then dividing them into "European/non-European seems a little odd. People of all races live on all continents these days. Personally, I would remove that option and just insist on full body and face pics of those you're interested in and base your decision whether to meet them on that criteria.

Bess x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Also race is far more of a political construct than of biology."

The difference between races biologically is pretty much non existent.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Any moron can tell that physically being attracted or not attracted to someone with certain physical traits doesn’t make someone a racist.

However, some people who are racist will include that in their reasons for being racist.

But no, simply having a biological preference from physical traits doesn’t make you racist any more than not fancying bigger or smaller body types doesn’t make you sizeist. Doesn’t make you not like or interact with or allow freedoms of those people. That’s wildly different.

It’s like people want to forced everyone to want to fuck everyone else regardless of who they are attracted to. It doesn’t work like that.

We have no particular races we aren’t attracted to particularly, we have played with people of various races. But we don’t think if someone doesn’t that they’re automatically racist."

Wtf is “biological preference for physical traits” ?

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By *aggonerMan  over a year ago

for a penny

[Removed by poster at 15/06/23 13:15:02]

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By *h_Cucking_HellMan  over a year ago

Dundee

This is one of the most disturbing & disgraceful posts I've seen in a while.

Why even mention it?

What about homosexuals & the larger size people? Are they on you list alongside people of race?

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By *aggonerMan  over a year ago

for a penny

Isn’t it awful when you post on something you feel strongly about but (almost) no one agrees with you?

Actually I don’t think the OP was inviting debate. The question is rhetorical. They are stating their point of view. So all this has been about fabsters stating the same reactions (with a few exceptions) in different ways. And to no end because I’ll bet OP doesn’t read these often well- stated arguments and realise that they are wrong. If they read them at all.

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By *eediousMan  over a year ago

Smallville


"This could become a toxic stew of race, nationalism and identity. Not nice in this heat or at any time.

I never understood why racists find being called racist so objectionable.

Indeed. I wish more racists were open about it. That way we could all avoid them."

But you know they don’t tend to, cos deep down they are all cowards and they don’t really believe in their own BS.

Western Europe only - that’s a real skewed choice that they limit themselves to, which is ironic for people who probably believe in freedom of choice.

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By *h_Cucking_HellMan  over a year ago

Dundee

Just realised they are in thier 60's...

Just old fashioned views

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By *eediousMan  over a year ago

Smallville


"When I see a profile who excludes based upon race, I block them - regardless of their preference. Only meet ‘Western Europeans’? Block. Only meet BBC? Block.

Fetishisation of race is antiquated nonsense.

"

This!! For a bloke from Basildon, you are very sound! But wait, that’s stereotyping every bloke from Basildon, and that’s not fair.

See what I did there, lol!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just realised they are in thier 60's...

Just old fashioned views "

Ageist

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By *izzy69Man  over a year ago

London


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

"

If you are in a doctor's surgery, and you are allocated a, let's say, Nigerian doctor and you say I'd like a Caucasian please. Why would that not be 'Freedom of choice'?

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By *icolerobbieCouple  over a year ago

walsall


"Just realised they are in thier 60's...

Just old fashioned views

Ageist "

Just as many young racists.

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By *aidForSharingWoman  over a year ago

Lancashire


"Just realised they are in thier 60's...

Just old fashioned views

Ageist

Just as many young racists."

If not more.

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By *h_Cucking_HellMan  over a year ago

Dundee


"Just realised they are in thier 60's...

Just old fashioned views

Ageist "

Oh no, i didn't mean it like that.

Wait maybe i did, it's always people of a certian age that seems to have these points of view. The younger generations seem to be more open minded and don't really act this way towards race & gender and all the other stuff. With that being said i now identify as a raspberry pmsl

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By *eediousMan  over a year ago

Smallville

It’s funny how the people you don’t like, seem to be living so rent-free in your heads that you were conflicted enough to post this.

To answer your question - you could not only be racist, but prejudiced towards Eastern Europeans, Antipodeans, Americans, and everyone else that is not Western European.

Is that what you meant?

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By *orthyorkypairCouple  over a year ago

North Yorkshire


"It had been a while since one of these threads "

Not long enough though!!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No it's not racist to say you're not attractive to certain people of particular background. I leave women leave who are not attracted to Black men if it's stated on their profile

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just realised they are in thier 60's...

Just old fashioned views "

Older folk don’t get a pass for racism.

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By *hocolate37Man  over a year ago

Heathrow


"Isn’t it awful when you post on something you feel strongly about but (almost) no one agrees with you?

Actually I don’t think the OP was inviting debate. The question is rhetorical. They are stating their point of view. So all this has been about fabsters stating the same reactions (with a few exceptions) in different ways. And to no end because I’ll bet OP doesn’t read these often well- stated arguments and realise that they are wrong. If they read them at all."

4 hours in, and there's been no follow up or response from the OP. Just my humble opinion, but that speaks volumes...

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By *orthyorkypairCouple  over a year ago

North Yorkshire


"Just realised they are in thier 60's...

Just old fashioned views "

Also in our 60's but do not hold the same views!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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By *eediousMan  over a year ago

Smallville

[Removed by poster at 15/06/23 13:29:51]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

"

Yes. By definition you are. Just stop rejecting an entire race on the grounds of their race and then you won't be racist.

Simple

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By *ickdasterdly51Man  over a year ago

Lingfield


"Just realised they are in thier 60's...

Just old fashioned views

Ageist

Oh no, i didn't mean it like that.

Wait maybe i did, it's always people of a certian age that seems to have these points of view. The younger generations seem to be more open minded and don't really act this way towards race & gender and all the other stuff. With that being said i now identify as a raspberry pmsl "

Oi!!!! I'm 63 and the OPs views in NO way relete to mine. Don't tar us older generation with the same brush.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Just realised they are in thier 60's...

Just old fashioned views

Also in our 60's but do not hold the same views!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

Fooking ageists !!!

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By *eediousMan  over a year ago

Smallville


"How about this? I find that in general, most people of my own race are rarely attractive,to me in a physical sense. Also, I find that there is less of a spark on an intellectual level. Possibly due to culture and upbringing.

What I DO find more objectionable is fetishising reducing people to their most basic elements. Like their genitals, size and colour and the generalised narrative. What is apparent is that many couples are of a particular race yet only see a certain other race as appealing for sex.

I do see elements of my views which places me as a hypocrite btw. But I thought it was worth me posting as its a complicated dichotomy. Not seeking any affirmation or validation. "

My man, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Man, the Essex boys are coming out swinging today, I tell ya!

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By *orthyorkypairCouple  over a year ago

North Yorkshire


"Just realised they are in thier 60's...

Just old fashioned views

Also in our 60's but do not hold the same views!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fooking ageists !!!"

sorry lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Just realised they are in thier 60's...

Just old fashioned views

Ageist

Oh no, i didn't mean it like that.

Wait maybe i did, it's always people of a certian age that seems to have these points of view. The younger generations seem to be more open minded and don't really act this way towards race & gender and all the other stuff. With that being said i now identify as a raspberry pmsl "

Haha,

I actually agree that there is a generational element to a lot of this - not that it justifies it

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By *eathrow pineappleCouple  over a year ago

Hounslow


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

"

it's personal preference with absolutely no prejudice. Nobody should be judged on their choices.

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By *omething4theweekend2023Couple  over a year ago

newcastle


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

"

No, freedom of choice doesn’t make you racist.

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By *elvet RopeMan  over a year ago

by the big field


"Aitch the rapper would not approve of all of this. Just saying. "

Ah yes, Rap! The last bastion of inclusiveness and moral fortitude

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Just realised they are in thier 60's...

Just old fashioned views

Also in our 60's but do not hold the same views!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fooking ageists !!!

sorry lol "

Not you ......them

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

it's personal preference with absolutely no prejudice. Nobody should be judged on their choices. "

except that it is prejudiced against a particular race........ and therefore ....... racist

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By *amierebelMan  over a year ago

My own little world

Close minded yes racist no

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By *amierebelMan  over a year ago

My own little world

That said I don't know yous personally to be able to make a judgement on wether or not yous are racist

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By *h_Cucking_HellMan  over a year ago

Dundee


"That said I don't know yous personally to be able to make a judgement on wether or not yous are racist "

Oh you're one of them sticking up for your own community, what ethnicity don't you like? Blacks? Japanese? Chinese..?

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By *amierebelMan  over a year ago

My own little world


"That said I don't know yous personally to be able to make a judgement on wether or not yous are racist

Oh you're one of them sticking up for your own community, what ethnicity don't you like? Blacks? Japanese? Chinese..? "

I don't have a problem with any ethnicity, good day sir

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By *imisugarWoman  over a year ago

Rugby


"Yes you probably are but I don't know you so maybe you have good reason. But as there is not a single race of people without gorgeous humans in it, I would say that is a you problem.

Also since people keep going on about choice, we also have the choice to just shut up but we never seem to take that choice. "

I feel this is worded extremely well.

You're perfectly entitled to have a preference.

How your profile is worded seems inflammatory. Whilst I don't condone abuse you may have recieved for your profile, to not acknowledge many don't even read the profile is bizarre.

A simple no thank you or non response wojkd be adequate. Block if the user continues to message.

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By *h_Cucking_HellMan  over a year ago

Dundee


"That said I don't know yous personally to be able to make a judgement on wether or not yous are racist

Oh you're one of them sticking up for your own community, what ethnicity don't you like? Blacks? Japanese? Chinese..?

I don't have a problem with any ethnicity, good day sir "

I was obviously joking haha

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By *imisugarWoman  over a year ago

Rugby


"Yes you probably are but I don't know you so maybe you have good reason. But as there is not a single race of people without gorgeous humans in it, I would say that is a you problem.

Also since people keep going on about choice, we also have the choice to just shut up but we never seem to take that choice. "

I feel this is worded extremely well.

You're perfectly entitled to have a preference.

How your profile is worded seems inflammatory. Whilst I don't condone abuse you may have recieved for your profile, to not acknowledge many don't even read the profile is bizarre.

A simple no thank you or non response wojkd be adequate. Block if the user continues to message.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Aitch the rapper would not approve of all of this. Just saying.

Ah yes, Rap! The last bastion of inclusiveness and moral fortitude "

It was just a reference to the fact that the OP’s male is called Aitch…

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Let's not with the ageism

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry

On the subject of racial prejudice and intelligence or lack of, some of the worst I've ever encountered were not lacking in gray matter.

And they are worse, they obfuscate and are clever enough to know not to be overt about it.

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By *erence IIMan  over a year ago

Irrelevant


"Also… some of the most intelligent minds in history that we consistently cite in our academic learning have been raging white supremacists and racists.

I guess at a national political level, they may personally not believe being white is particularly superior but pander to the dumb populus to gain votes? So I guess it comes back to ethics and moral compass..."

I think the idea that being racist requires one to 'believe' certain statements is problematic. All humans have in inherent tendancy to feel safer with the known than the unknown and much that is racism develops from that.

I hate the idea of racism. I do not believe that any trace is better than any other. I do not believe that any race is more worthy than any other. Standing at a cash machine in a small South African township surrounded by people with different colour skin to me, in a country where for very real social, political, historical and financial reasons the crime figures are hugely skewed by race, where barbed wire, armed police, road side signs, newspapers and anecdotes from strangers all lead to a heightened sense of danger, trying to believe these statements over the primal urge to feel afraid is a whole other matter.

I believe that all the time we continue to parrot the idea that racism is a stupid belief and fail to properly recognise it's roots in its all we will never stop it. It is human, it is world wide and it has been there at all times in history.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

These posts always make laugh. I am part Indian heritage and with the recent hot weather, I've seen a lot of suntanned Scots, who are a lot darker than my Indian relatives.

I remember years ago one of my Scottish Indian cousins going on a date with a native Scottish lass. On the date, everything was going fine until she discovered he was of Indian heritage, then she said no cant see you. So she thought he was attractive until she discovered his heritage. Just like that girl, I think OPs have been conditioned into this this thinking by their upbringing and environment.

Not sure this kind of thinking will ever disappear. But probably exposure and mixing with different people at a young age is the way to change this.

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By *eathrow pineappleCouple  over a year ago

Hounslow


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

it's personal preference with absolutely no prejudice. Nobody should be judged on their choices.

except that it is prejudiced against a particular race........ and therefore ....... racist"

bull shit!

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By *TG3Man  over a year ago

Dorchester


"Are we racists if we state openly that we do not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive.

Physically no thank you. Intellectually no problem.

When we say that, without actually specifying which groups we are referring to, we instantly get vociferous reactions from one group in particular.

When did freedom of choice become banned?

"

Its not but the wording maybe is, i had a harmless comment deleted the other day from forums it wasn't racist and it certainly was not meant to offend but deleted it was, so steer clear of offending people better to not put anything and just don't answer messages from that particular cross section of society

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan  over a year ago

Wigan

I genuinely do not understand how you can "not find people of certain ethnic backgrounds physically attractive".

I love people watching, I've travelled to various different places around the world with all different nationalities/ethnicities and people watched. I people watch here too, where we have a mix of nationalities/ethnicities too. The people I see wherever is am can range from what I consider to be drop dead gorgeous to someone I wouldn't be in a hurry to took at a 2nd time, the thing is though, whether or not the people I'm watching are physically attractive to me or not is based solely on the individual I'm looking at. There's subjectively physically beautiful people and ugly people of all ethnicities before even finding out if they are beautiful or ugky on the inside or not.

Unless you can clearly explain your what you don't find attrive about "certain ethnicities" to be able to put them all under the same umbrella, I'll never be able to understand your point of view.

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By *obilebottomMan  over a year ago

All over

I have no intention of discussing racism om here but when people exlude a whole race as if it was homogeneous and everyone in a race looks exactly the same and might not be attracted to that look, it does sound well at least laughable. Have a lovely day

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive

How easy is it to distinguish between Eastern and Western Europeans just by looking at them ?

Indeed. You'll have to ask the OP. I feel for the Antipodeans and Americans "

What ethnicity are "Americans?!”

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By *.T.Man  over a year ago

Glasgow

I've lived in Northern Ireland and the OP reminds me of the "them'uns" mentality.

A prejudice based on historical and anectotal tales of people who aren't of "us".

Having opinions is one thing, expressing them in a manner that will cause offence is another.

And I agree with others about a broad exclusion of anyone who has an ethnic background other than European not being justifiable unless you are fundamentally rascist.

I suspect though, your loss is greater than theirs.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive

How easy is it to distinguish between Eastern and Western Europeans just by looking at them ?

Indeed. You'll have to ask the OP. I feel for the Antipodeans and Americans

What ethnicity are "Americans?!” "

And to add to that, what ethnicity are "non-Europeans"?

Bess x

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By *xXgemmaXxXCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 15/06/23 15:32:17]

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive

How easy is it to distinguish between Eastern and Western Europeans just by looking at them ?

Indeed. You'll have to ask the OP. I feel for the Antipodeans and Americans

What ethnicity are "Americans?!”

And to add to that, what ethnicity are "non-Europeans"?

Bess x"

And Antipodeans! Indeed, what ethnicity is anyone from an entire continent?!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

And fuck knows what ethnicity I am!

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By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive

How easy is it to distinguish between Eastern and Western Europeans just by looking at them ?

Indeed. You'll have to ask the OP. I feel for the Antipodeans and Americans

What ethnicity are "Americans?!” "

Goodus immigranticus of the genus you don't counticus

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Too long; Didn’t read.

Can anyone summarise for me please, are they racist or not?

Thx

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By *oggoneMan  over a year ago

Derry

Racists are very sensitive about being called racists. A few experiences of mine did make me think that supremacist is a better term.

Some years back I was exposed to racism in SE Asia. Naive maybe of me but I was gobsmacked to see and hear brown on brown racism.

Closer to home, we got people that believe they are supreme to me on the basis of cultural identity. To them I'm a 'lesser breed'.

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By *xXgemmaXxXCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow


"

As already mentioned above, I find it hard to understand how someone can find every single non Western European unattractive

How easy is it to distinguish between Eastern and Western Europeans just by looking at them ?

Indeed. You'll have to ask the OP. I feel for the Antipodeans and Americans

What ethnicity are "Americans?!” "

They aren’t European though so that’s them out of favour along with I presume Eastern Europeans who may at first thought they had a chance until they read Western European only

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Too long; Didn’t read.

Can anyone summarise for me please, are they racist or not?

Thx

"

I think the jury of Fab is still deliberating. Many posters seem confused as to the difference between race, ethnicity and nationality though. It's either poor education or the heat that's causing the confusion I think

Bess x

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