FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Chuck Norris.....

Chuck Norris.....

Jump to: Newest in thread

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Once shot a stukka dive bomber down by pointing at it and saying "BANG".

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Snapped his fingers and snapped the pencil John Wick was trying to kill him with

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Waited in line for Wonko.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The candles on his birthday cake blow them selves out when he appreciates and his wish is instantly granted

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Waited in line for Wonko."

I might let him skip so he can take his selfie

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Made megaton sit in the naughty corner wearing a dunce hat

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Should have died in 1993 but death is to scared to tell him

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Once pissed in a trucks petrol tank for a joke, that truck is Optimus prime

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Once pissed in a trucks petrol tank for a joke, that truck is Optimus prime

It's never needed fuel since

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Jesus walks on water, chuck swims through concrete.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris a bear rug in his bedroom, it's not a bear skin, the bears just to scared to move..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The air in space would keep him alive and put him back in the airlock he came out of

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet he scares the shit out of it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The day he was born he drove his mum home from the hospital

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Weeds refuse to grow in his garden

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *asycouple1971Couple over a year ago

midlands

Only person whos feet touch the ground riding a Penny Farthing.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Only Chuck Norris can chuck Chuck Norris.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *hrek101Man over a year ago

Herts

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups....he pushes to the earth down

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *2000ManMan over a year ago

Worthing

Won Quake Con using just gauntlet.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *avinaTVTV/TS over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Only Chuck Norris can chuck Chuck Norris. "

Yeah, but how much norris could Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck norris?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to season his steak.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

When Chuck Norris plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

Chuck Norris makes a Happy Meal cry.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *entBarryUKMan over a year ago

Ashford

If Dwayne Johnson is The Rock, then Chuck Norris is Titanium.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *aucasian GhandiMan over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

The only actor to beat Bruce Lee in an on screen fight in the way of the dragon *i think*

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

Chuck Norris once ate a whole pack of Jaffa cakes

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *aucasian GhandiMan over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)

"Chuck Norris once ate a whole pack of Jaffa cakes

Savage

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *urnedoutniceagainMan over a year ago

louth

When he dives in water he doesn’t get wet the water gets Chick Norris

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *TG3Man over a year ago

Dorchester

"When he dives in water he doesn’t get wet the water gets Chick Norris "
chick does he cluck?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Only Chuck Norris can chuck Chuck Norris.

Yeah, but how much norris could Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could chuck norris?

Numbers don’t go that high.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *urnedoutniceagainMan over a year ago

louth

"When he dives in water he doesn’t get wet the water gets Chick Norris chick does he cluck?

Gotta love spellcheck!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't recognise the periodic table of elements, the only element he recognises is the element of surprise.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

When Chuck Norris does push ups he doesn't move the earth moves from him.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everlasting gob stoppers dissolve willingly on his tongue

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

God created live in 6 days because chuck norris commanded him to

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some say there is no chin beneath his beard, just another fist.

Bess x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Chuck Norris makes onions cry."

Apparently his tears cure cancer…. Shame he has never cried….

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Even superman wears chuck norris pajamas…

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Chuck Norris was up for the lead role of Jack Bauer in 24…… but he killed all the bad guys and solved the case in 43 minutes!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"Chuck Norris doesn't recognise the periodic table of elements, the only element he recognises is the element of surprise."

[Ah] is the atomic formula.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Chuck Norris can never get injured in rodeo: all the horses and bulls, as they are too scared to chuck Norris!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

Chuck Norris starts fires by rubbing his hands together.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

When Chuck Norris chucks a paper aeroplane it breaks the sound barrier.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

Jesus turned water into wine. Chuck Norris took that wine and turned it into a Gin and Tonic, with ice, and a lemon twist.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris pours gravity on his Sunday lunch

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

If Chuck Norris playd the $6million Dollar man: he would have survived intact and the runway would have needed a total rebuild.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic