FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Lost confidence/mojo
Lost confidence/mojo
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *onkeynut OP Woman
over a year ago
somewhere |
Just that really. It’s hard to explain why but my confidence with meets has taken a nosedive. I’ve been reluctant and haven’t had any meets since last summer- I don’t normally have many anyway but this is a long time and is of my own doing.
So ladies (and gents!) how do you get that mojo back? I know the answer is probably just to get back ‘out there’ but taking that first step seems to be the issue! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Honestly I don't think there is an answer. It happens sometimes and when it does, I just take a break. Step away from it all, look after myself a little and then come back when I'm feeling it again. Don't force it and just head out again when you're ready. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I felt like you a couple of months ago, so I took a break for awhile and hid my profile. Then someone who I had connected with 6 months ago contacted me again and I agreed to meet him and had a great time.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
People help me find my mojo when it went missing.
What I’m trying to say is, don’t force (like said above) see if it turns up when you least expect it.
Get talking to people, try a social and get the work life balance right.  *just my thoughts.
Good luck Monkey  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
Jeez, there could be any number of reasons. Hows your health? What about stress? Medications?
What's the rest of your life like? What are you like with other people? Are you tired of people or men, i'm assuming thats your thing. How do you feel if someone hits on you?
Do you masturbate or has it fallen away
Exercise and diet?
Some food for thought, talk to your gp if you haven't done so |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think that's just life, it comes and goes. Try not to worry, that would probably make it worse.
Do lots of self care, enjoy things you love doing, focus on what makes you happy (outside of the bedroom)  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Try not to get too hung up on it, it won't help. Take some some time re-exploring yourself with your fingers and some toys while playing out fantasies in your head. After a bit of rediscovery you'll find yourself wanting to get back out there looking for exactly what you want and enjoy. It'll all come back eventually as long as you don't try to force it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *onkeynut OP Woman
over a year ago
somewhere |
"Jeez, there could be any number of reasons. Hows your health? What about stress? Medications?
What's the rest of your life like? What are you like with other people? Are you tired of people or men, i'm assuming thats your thing. How do you feel if someone hits on you?
Do you masturbate or has it fallen away
Exercise and diet?
Some food for thought, talk to your gp if you haven't done so"
I don’t think I was clear… I’m still a horny fucker, so it’s not my libido  I think it’s more of a confidence thing with meeting from here.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think there is a bit of a misconception that if you're on here then you must surely be meeting people all the time and having lots of sex. I'm sure there are still people who genuinely believe as women on here we are constantly in our sexiest lingerie and always ready and willing.
The fact is we are not, and we are human. This is a very small part of life for most people, however, these ideas can sometimes leave us feeling inadequate or like there's something wrong with us when actually,there's not.
Sometimes I'd rather sit in my leggings and eat ice cream from the tub and that's ok.
Sometimes shaving my legs does seem like too much effort and that's ok.
Sometimes, actually quite a lot of the time I'm lacking confidence when it comes to meeting people. Sometimes to the point I'd just rather not.
That's ok too.
Then those thoughts spiral and suddenly we think we have lost our mojo and our confidence falls even to the floor.
You shouldn't feel like you need to do anything and my guess is when the right inspiration comes along you'll be just fine.
Focus on things that make you happy elsewhere in life and remind yourself how to sparkle.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Jeez, there could be any number of reasons. Hows your health? What about stress? Medications?
What's the rest of your life like? What are you like with other people? Are you tired of people or men, i'm assuming thats your thing. How do you feel if someone hits on you?
Do you masturbate or has it fallen away
Exercise and diet?
Some food for thought, talk to your gp if you haven't done so
I don’t think I was clear… I’m still a horny fucker, so it’s not my libido I think it’s more of a confidence thing with meeting from here.
"
I was like that a few months ago and it lasted a few months... but I met with somebody I'd met before just for a social and then one thing led to another... I did only see him for a while until I came back on here and just chatted and finally I went to a meet...even though I was mega nervous..
Hope it comes back soon  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP, I agree with the posters above. There's no real singleton answer to this (I apologise in advance for being equally unhelpful). Sometimes an inexplicable trigger can kickstart the green shoots of one's confidence and mojo: a minor change of diet, mindfulness, rediscovering yourself (exploring your body, masturbation as someone mentioned above), adjustments to medications, if applicable...
From my personal experience I adopted what I call 'forced socialising': a pathway to minimise my reluctance to accept my Alopecia and consequences of my diminished self-confidence, by actually meeting Fabbers for a quick coffee (one-to-one rendezvous), chatting to people on here and, critically, on other mainstream platforms, small fab-organised group socials/drinks or a fleeting lunch without the pressure, in addition to the care and support of the kind folk of the fora.
These endeavours helped in the rejuvenation process of my mojo, libido and general self-confidence. I'm still not 100% but it's a step in the right direction.
I hope you find your solution. XX |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sometimes even the most confident people are only so to mask their own insecurities so what you’re feeling is, and in no way am I trivialising your current state, common to most of us.
I’ve spent a lifetime dealing with similar & there is no magic pill. Life ebbs & flows, usually with no rhyme nor reason. My salvation has always been my faith. Yes, it flies in the face of fab & I expect this will attract ferocious comments but life does improve providing you have an inner sense of self worth.
Be happy to discuss & help privately if you like without any preconditions. I am no counsellor but have a massive empathy for you x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eladeCouple
over a year ago
hull |
As a fellow women I know how you feel,but honestly men and women don’t see our insecurities.
All I can say is try and love the skin ur in (ur beautiful btw)
Try and live ur best life as we only have one.
I find posting picks always boosts my confidence on fab.
And always remember, we are here for a good time not a long time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Maybe you're jaded with it. Could you change tack and use the site for socials with no intention other than that? Or take a break.
I'm wondering if you want something else right now? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Jeez, there could be any number of reasons. Hows your health? What about stress? Medications?
What's the rest of your life like? What are you like with other people? Are you tired of people or men, i'm assuming thats your thing. How do you feel if someone hits on you?
Do you masturbate or has it fallen away
Exercise and diet?
Some food for thought, talk to your gp if you haven't done so
I don’t think I was clear… I’m still a horny fucker, so it’s not my libido I think it’s more of a confidence thing with meeting from here.
"
That's good news. Do you mix/ flirt/ have socials? What happens if you take of the table, go for a dinner or drink? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think the reasons tend to be very personal. I am not sure I could offer much insight without hearing your story.
I can give you mine though.
I had a great relationship completely in love, sex to die for as a consequence and very open. Which I am grateful for, but now I am aware that the pathway for me to great sex is fundamentally connection. And a connection of a sufficient quality is a rare find. Finding the right chemistry, someone who wishes to put the time into developing it, where it feels mutual... Needle in a needle stack.
Sometimes I get fed up meeting people and need a break. Sometimes I feel like I am about to give up and poof I get a wink that turns into a great conversation. Which has happened recently and all of a sudden I feel a pang of excitement about meeting again.
The last time I took a break I think it was consolidation. Needing time to reflect on what I want. Otherwise every needle looks the same? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Just that really. It’s hard to explain why but my confidence with meets has taken a nosedive. I’ve been reluctant and haven’t had any meets since last summer- I don’t normally have many anyway but this is a long time and is of my own doing.
So ladies (and gents!) how do you get that mojo back? I know the answer is probably just to get back ‘out there’ but taking that first step seems to be the issue!"
maybe you're looking for lurve |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inoc2185Man
over a year ago
wolverhampton |
I think it’s about building a connection with someone you like and are comfortable with. Trust is a big thing. I think if you can find someone who can earn your trust and take it slow, you’ll soon find your mojo again. You’re a stunning girl and any guy would be lucky to have chance with you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sorry to hear this OP! Unfortunately I don’t have any advice for you. I go through this usually when I’m feeling more insecure than usual….the last few days I’d been feeling like this and today it’s taken a bit of a nosedive.
The meets you’ve had before are you still in contact with them? Maybe meeting them again if it was positive might help you ease your confidence back? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
"Just that really. It’s hard to explain why but my confidence with meets has taken a nosedive. I’ve been reluctant and haven’t had any meets since last summer- I don’t normally have many anyway but this is a long time and is of my own doing.
So ladies (and gents!) how do you get that mojo back? I know the answer is probably just to get back ‘out there’ but taking that first step seems to be the issue!"
(Looks at profile) (analyses) (solution found)
Meet me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I had this during the start of the year (too much Christmas chocolate!) and had low self confidence and didn't feel sexy in the slightest! Luckily, I had people to chat to and then still being flirty with me kinda upped my confidence again. Coupled with a few club visits and I managed to feel myself again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Hey OP, how are you feeling this morning?
My mojo/confidence took a bit of a dive the past couple of months, I started feeling like people wouldn't choose to spend time with me, I wasn't particularly attractive or worth attention. Undateable to be blunt.
But, I took baby steps. Started seeing friends again, talking to them. Going to socials, having pressure free dates and coffees where I remembered how much I enjoy spending time with people. And people would actually choose to spend time with me.
I still have moments where I feel unsure; a couple of days ago I was ready to hibernate and shut the world out. I'm refusing to allow myself that though - life is painfully short and I have such a love and curiosity about people I don't want my uncertainty preventing me from having new adventures.
It's not the easiest of things to do, finding that confidence but maybe time away. With friends. Doing the things that make you smile and then soon you don't overthink, believe yourself to not be good enough to enjoy life with all of The Sex you deserve. Everyone is.
And I hope you remember that soon.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Just that really. It’s hard to explain why but my confidence with meets has taken a nosedive. I’ve been reluctant and haven’t had any meets since last summer- I don’t normally have many anyway but this is a long time and is of my own doing.
So ladies (and gents!) how do you get that mojo back? I know the answer is probably just to get back ‘out there’ but taking that first step seems to be the issue!"
I'd suggest having a few socials. Don't put any pressure on yourself.
If things develop then that's a bonus.
Sending hugs.
P.s. you're a very beautiful lady |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As has already been said, sometimes this happens...and even to the people we'd think were least likely to suffer with it.
Maybe step away for a while and try doing some other stuff that you know you really enjoy.
Or do something you've never done before but always wanted to try. Could be anything...cooking, Kung Fu, playing the banjo...just give your mind a total change. Sometimes just a change of scenery and focus can help.
I hope you find something that works for you. Rest assured, the rest of us can see how gorgeous you are, so don't for one second think there's anything "wrong" with you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago
Nr Leicester |
A normal but annoying feeling.. Just libido based or a struggle to get enthused generally? Mr has been through similar recently, but somehow I manage to lift his spirits  A pity you're straight otherwise we'd jointly be more than happy to assist in dispelling any apathy.. You look hot, but in case you hadn't realised, the point of this post was to hopefully put a wry smile on your face. Look after yourself! Mrs x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
