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Flirting it up...
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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How important is flirting to you when it comes to having sex with someone? Could you have sex without feeling that frisson of desire?
Do you embrace flirting or are you more reserved/laidback?
And final one - can you tell when it's done with intent and when it's just friendliness? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t tell when it’s friendly vs intentional.
But I flirting is essential to the sex for me. I need it for the sex. Builds up that feeling of wanting to rip her clothes off. |
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"How important is flirting to you when it comes to having sex with someone? Could you have sex without feeling that frisson of desire?
Do you embrace flirting or are you more reserved/laidback?
And final one - can you tell when it's done with intent and when it's just friendliness?"
Flirting is very important got to feel that frisson of desire otherwise it won't go any further.
I know when I'm being intentional, but sometimes can't read the signals from a man. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
It's important, desire is necessity. Isn't that what people mean by the spark?
Do I embrace it? Sometimes I think I miss it. I've been told that I was flirting when I was conversing
As to the last question. It's tricky. Flirting has some plausible deniability. I'm thinking about one woman that insists she's being friendly but she frequently finds herself backtracking.
It takes many forms. maybe a brushing touch, a teasing remark or a serious sounding question. Its all part of the dance. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I can feel intense desire for someone talking about a zombie apocalypse.
If a conversation is only flirting I get tired of it very quickly.
I'm old. I've seen it all, heard it all and typed it all.
Most flirty conversations lead to nothing, I've found; which makes me sceptical when a new one comes along.
I'm not here just to provide wank chat to bored men. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"How important is flirting to you when it comes to having sex with someone? Could you have sex without feeling that frisson of desire?
Do you embrace flirting or are you more reserved/laidback?
And final one - can you tell when it's done with intent and when it's just friendliness?"
I'm happy to flirt without it ever leading to sex.
It's never been a given that anything will happen or that I want it to be, but I just enjoy flirtatious chat. I'll always ensure they know it won't go anywhere though. Nobody likes a tease... 
A |
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I think it's all part of the build up if done correctly and intentionally. It's a must for me.
We all need to be flirted with. It's a fabulous feeling.
And for those who say they need lessons in flirting. May I suggest your local club as ours run nights like this that are aimed at giving tips and teaching you how to flirt interact with others. They also do cake socials!! (just saying) 
Jo.Xx  |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I can have sex with no desire for the person, just have to imagine someone else "
There are things we never say out loud.  Even if they are true. Particularly to the person that your having sex with.
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"How important is flirting to you when it comes to having sex with someone? Could you have sex without feeling that frisson of desire?
Do you embrace flirting or are you more reserved/laidback?
And final one - can you tell when it's done with intent and when it's just friendliness?"
Very important
No
I definitely embrace it, I love a good flirt, but I genuinely have to mean it.
I can usually tell the intent and also if it's genuine or they just want something! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t tell if it’s just friendliness, .. until she is naked on her knees pulling my cock into her mouth.
But I do think it’s important for you to do, and receive. It sets a tone, you get an idea of how they think, how sexy their mind can go. And for them, they will possibly get the same vibes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love a bit of flirting, the eye contact, the chatting, the sensual touches, it really help get you in the mood!
I'm generally crap at knowing if it genuine or friendly which makes it hard for me to commit to flirting properly in case I read the signals wrong  |
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Very important, personally. It's the start of foreplay for me and builds excitement/sexual tension before any touching takes place.
I'm very big on being mentally engaged before the act and having that back and forth with someone really gets me involved.
I reckon I could forego it if I was in the mood, and just wanted a fuck, but it wouldn't be my favourite type of encounter.
I'm a bit numb and don't always notice someone flirting with intent but I do always reciprocate as it's a very fun part of 'the game'. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Meli. You love the sex init?  "
Ha! Yes, but... It's not actually about sex, not really. It's more about... what's important to you. What makes you think, yes, I could do The Sex with this person.
This morning I kind of stopped and said, wait is that chemistry there before I did something. So it had me musing. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Flirting and chemistry is essential for sex. I can't have sex with someone without any spark there. I'd literally be drier than cream crackers left out in the sun. And flirting is just fun, innit "
Innit indeed. Yeah, it is. I still don't see myself as flirty but I enjoy the brief dips I take in to it.
And thanks for that imagery! Borrowing that. :D |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Flirting’s essential.
Flirting, then kissing, then more. And the flirting should keep on going right through. I don’t ever want it to stop.
But y’know. That’s just me."
I don't think it's just you Rose. I mean sure, you're a flirting machine.
But I think a fair few would want that flirting to carry on. We once had a conversation about things changing (keeping it deliberately vague!). You were right - that's how you know when you've found someone a bit special. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love a good precum inducing flirt, the type that leaves a trail of said precum down my inner thigh
Sliiiiiiimerrrrrrrrrr
Who you going to call "
Your mum |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"It's important, desire is necessity. Isn't that what people mean by the spark?
Do I embrace it? Sometimes I think I miss it. I've been told that I was flirting when I was conversing
As to the last question. It's tricky. Flirting has some plausible deniability. I'm thinking about one woman that insists she's being friendly but she frequently finds herself backtracking.
It takes many forms. maybe a brushing touch, a teasing remark or a serious sounding question. Its all part of the dance."
I think so. Possibly. When I say spark I mean there's some sort of connection, fuelled by desire of some kind.
It's not always easy to pick up on is it? And can be misconstrued easily.
Plausible deniability tickles me. Yes, yes it does. I do that sometimes, take a step back if I feel it's not welcome etc.
It is a dance - sometimes you find that partner that compliments your style effortlessly. |
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"I love a good precum inducing flirt, the type that leaves a trail of said precum down my inner thigh
Sliiiiiiimerrrrrrrrrr
Who you going to call
Your mum "
I woundn't rely on Linda to answer, that's my experience of my mum |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"I genuinely don't know what is classed as flirting or how to do it
If anyone could give me lessons I'd be grateful "
Oh there's flirty and then there's dirty flirty...
It's just a style of communication isn't it?
If it's just sex you're after and not trying to impress long term, then being a lil dirty flirty sets the tone, find out a bit about them, and most importantly makes them comfortable about coming forward - ie you're not being prudish.
Sometimes blokes then think it's open season and can get abusive but then that's part of their nature and you avoid. The ones that come back playful and confident I would take further... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love a good precum inducing flirt, the type that leaves a trail of said precum down my inner thigh
Sliiiiiiimerrrrrrrrrr
Who you going to call
Your mum
I woundn't rely on Linda to answer, that's my experience of my mum "
She always picks up when I ring her  |
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"I love a good precum inducing flirt, the type that leaves a trail of said precum down my inner thigh
Sliiiiiiimerrrrrrrrrr
Who you going to call
Your mum
I woundn't rely on Linda to answer, that's my experience of my mum
She always picks up when I ring her "
I'm.glad once of us aint blocked |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I tend to flirt more in a social setting. For instance, if I'm meeting someone for coffee. See if I can get them biting their lower lip."
Oh. That's a rather good idea, it's far easier to read chemistry in person isn't it? You can see those little tells of attraction, enjoy the effect you have on someone.
I might try that some time soon actually, thank you for the inspiration Esty. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"It's important, desire is necessity. Isn't that what people mean by the spark?
Do I embrace it? Sometimes I think I miss it. I've been told that I was flirting when I was conversing
As to the last question. It's tricky. Flirting has some plausible deniability. I'm thinking about one woman that insists she's being friendly but she frequently finds herself backtracking.
It takes many forms. maybe a brushing touch, a teasing remark or a serious sounding question. Its all part of the dance.
I think so. Possibly. When I say spark I mean there's some sort of connection, fuelled by desire of some kind.
It's not always easy to pick up on is it? And can be misconstrued easily.
Plausible deniability tickles me. Yes, yes it does. I do that sometimes, take a step back if I feel it's not welcome etc.
It is a dance - sometimes you find that partner that compliments your style effortlessly."
Yes its a step, maybe an exploratory one to move things forward.
We notice something about someone, they catch your attention for some reason. Then it's 'I wonder........'
Then the dance begins. What it looks like depends on the people involved. Does it flow, quicken your pulse, make you want more. Turn that spark into a flame..
Or maybe its awkward and clumsy. Or one of the people go, 'holy fuck they're flirting with me' and run.
It's deniable to a point.
It has to be effortless or at least look effortless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tend to flirt more in a social setting. For instance, if I'm meeting someone for coffee. See if I can get them biting their lower lip.
Oh. That's a rather good idea, it's far easier to read chemistry in person isn't it? You can see those little tells of attraction, enjoy the effect you have on someone.
I might try that some time soon actually, thank you for the inspiration Esty."
You're welcome, A*
I hope it works. You never know where those tells might be. |
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Utterly out of practice at flirting, in fact don't think I ever was in practice. And I don't think that I could recognise the difference between someone flirting with me, teasing me in fun, and sarcastic mocking. Bit of a hopeless case really. |
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"How important is flirting to you when it comes to having sex with someone? Could you have sex without feeling that frisson of desire?
Do you embrace flirting or are you more reserved/laidback?
And final one - can you tell when it's done with intent and when it's just friendliness?"
Yes, essential. Wouldn't get to the sex part without that frisson.
I think I've said before, but I'm an understated flirt. Maybe too understated. Which is hypocritical of me as I'll need you to spell out your flirting in capital letters if you want me to avoid assuming it's just friendliness...
Like all things, though, it's best when you find your natural flirting match and things just flow. |
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"How important is flirting to you when it comes to having sex with someone? Could you have sex without feeling that frisson of desire?
Do you embrace flirting or are you more reserved/laidback?
And final one - can you tell when it's done with intent and when it's just friendliness?
Yes, essential. Wouldn't get to the sex part without that frisson.
I think I've said before, but I'm an understated flirt. Maybe too understated. Which is hypocritical of me as I'll need you to spell out your flirting in capital letters if you want me to avoid assuming it's just friendliness...
Like all things, though, it's best when you find your natural flirting match and things just flow."
You can frisson your balls against mine anytime pal; what does 'understated' mean?
 |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I genuinely don't know what is classed as flirting or how to do it
If anyone could give me lessons I'd be grateful "
Normally I'd suggest that less is more and subtlety is everything. But men very often don't see the cues. So smack his arse and wink theatrically. Then to cover yourself, say 'oops my hand slipped' |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I can feel intense desire for someone talking about a zombie apocalypse.
If a conversation is only flirting I get tired of it very quickly.
I'm old. I've seen it all, heard it all and typed it all.
Most flirty conversations lead to nothing, I've found; which makes me sceptical when a new one comes along.
I'm not here just to provide wank chat to bored men."
It's good to have a healthy dose of scepticism sometimes. Yes, I think if the conversation is just suggestive, no discussions about other things but flirt heavy after awhile it can become boring.
It's possibly a fine line - no flirting and the other person thinks "nah they're not interested in me". Too much and it can feel slick and not genuine. It's really subjective and depends on the dynamic you have with a person. |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"It has to be effortless or at least look effortless."
So true. But that comes with practice and confidence. Otherwise it comes back as a bit "wet"...
If they're super attractive, it can be a bit cute but otherwise I let them know I'm not getting the "I-wanna-meet" vibe and thank them profusely for chatting... |
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"How important is flirting to you when it comes to having sex with someone? Could you have sex without feeling that frisson of desire?
Do you embrace flirting or are you more reserved/laidback?
And final one - can you tell when it's done with intent and when it's just friendliness?
Yes, essential. Wouldn't get to the sex part without that frisson.
I think I've said before, but I'm an understated flirt. Maybe too understated. Which is hypocritical of me as I'll need you to spell out your flirting in capital letters if you want me to avoid assuming it's just friendliness...
Like all things, though, it's best when you find your natural flirting match and things just flow.
You can frisson your balls against mine anytime pal; what does 'understated' mean?
"
Understated - you know, so subtle you might miss it!
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I guess it depends on what you're looking for. I can't imagine the average gang bang or dogging session involving much flirting.
On a one to one meet? Absolutely it's essential although that may not be the best word, perhaps integral fits better. Can I have sex without it? Yep, it's generally a different kind of sex though. |
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I don't know how to flirt and I don't know when someone is flirting with me...
I like flirting in the build up to sex though, when I'm with someone I know, I feel much more comfortable with being suggestive, teasing and outright filthy.
Trying to be that way with someone I don't know or have just met in a club is feels weird to me. |
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By *izz70Woman
over a year ago
Sheffield |
"How important is flirting to you when it comes to having sex with someone? Could you have sex without feeling that frisson of desire?
Do you embrace flirting or are you more reserved/laidback? Flirting is a wonderful first step to finding out if there's a mutual attraction. Flirting is a real turn on for me eye contact wandering eyes I love a good flirt
And final one - can you tell when it's done with intent and when it's just friendliness?"
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Flirting is a must for sex for me. I absolutely love flirting in person, I don't think flirting online works very well for me though. As for me being able to tell if its intentional or just friendliness, unfortunately I've found out I have a looooooooong history of reading flirting as friendliness when it was actually meant to be intentional. My self doubt used to make me think they were just humouring me. Live and learn! |
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