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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago
london stratford |
"Would you forgive someone who messed you around once if he apologised a while later or would you not bother? Does it matter if the sex was good?"
I tend to do the two strike rule.
give everyone a 2nd chance if they are apologetic and seem sincere. But do it again and thats it |
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By *BCambsCouple
over a year ago
Biggleswade |
A vanilla friend, that was a prospective playmate, stood up Miss A three times for a coffee. It's been a few years and he's just messaged again last night asking to meet up, bad place, better now etc.
No way in hell was my response! |
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"Would you forgive someone who messed you around once if he apologised a while later or would you not bother? Does it matter if the sex was good?
I tend to do the two strike rule.
give everyone a 2nd chance if they are apologetic and seem sincere. But do it again and thats it"
Oh for sure there won't be a third chance. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I am in two minds. I'm not sure I could trust him again. I didn't really develop feelings but he did hurt me a little. I had him blocked but suddenly he isn't. But the sex was great. "
So the sex was great but you know he's a bit of an asshole. Decisions, decisions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been too forgiving and understanding sometimes, and given people more chances than they deserved. I guess it depends on the person and reasoning but in my experience if they let you down once, they will do again. You don't have to hold on to negative feelings or hold it against the person, but there comes a time where you have to draw the line with people and leave it there. I personally haven't got the time or patience to deal with it anymore and going to put myself first going forward. |
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I try to live by the mantra of everyone deserves a second chance. I do tend to be influenced by how annoyed and/or inconvenienced I was the first time and whether I think they’re worth it. Some people are an easy yes. Some people are a fuck no. Most are in the middle.
I reckon that most of the time people have already shown their true colours. But life can genuinely get in the way. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I'm a very forgiving person.
I think most people deserve another chance.  "
Me too.
If it was a genuine apology with a believable explanation. I’d rather not hold onto that, but unlikely I’d have sex with them again straight away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There’s a old saying in Tennessee, I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says fool me once, shame on you. Fool me…
Can’t get fooled again’ - George W Bush.
** |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Depends on the person, how badly they messed me around, and whether I wanted to see them again.
What do you think OP?"
Very much this. And also if the other person knows they have and if I can trust them.
No, sex doesn't matter to me in this context. I can have great sex quite easily.
Actually, now I've typed that if it's the very rare sex that really gets under my skin and touches some part of me (not my cervix) then yes, it can complicate things. Very very rarely. Normally there are feelings involved.
I think I forgive quite easily. We all have things going on and we all can do silly things. If someone really means an apology, and more than saying it, shows me they do? I forgive. And I'll keep forgiving, even when my emotional support animals sigh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't, my pride and stubbornness won't allow me .. think its from past trauma .. I've found if you let someone away with it once then your saying it's OK to be treated a certain way .. maybe just my hang up I'm very once I catch you in a lie I cut you off , and when I get messed about I cut you off .. maybe closed minded of me but I can deal with that , I know if I gave someone that second chance and it happened again it would eat me up . |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I can't, my pride and stubbornness won't allow me .. think its from past trauma .. I've found if you let someone away with it once then your saying it's OK to be treated a certain way .. maybe just my hang up I'm very once I catch you in a lie I cut you off , and when I get messed about I cut you off .. maybe closed minded of me but I can deal with that , I know if I gave someone that second chance and it happened again it would eat me up . "
So genuinely one of those times when its you, not them. It's good to have that awareness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I believe in seconds chances...but it comes with a caveat... Tell me how are you gonna be better, make sure this doesn't happen again...
Otherwise the second chance is pointless
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"Would you forgive someone who messed you around once if he apologised a while later or would you not bother? Does it matter if the sex was good?"
Just excuse everything cuz the sex was good...
It all depends on thr situation and why he let you down in the first place |
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I've given two people recently the benefit of a second chance. First one definitely shouldn't have bothered, he showed his true colours first time round. Second one so glad I did, life had got in the way and things are better now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't, my pride and stubbornness won't allow me .. think its from past trauma .. I've found if you let someone away with it once then your saying it's OK to be treated a certain way .. maybe just my hang up I'm very once I catch you in a lie I cut you off , and when I get messed about I cut you off .. maybe closed minded of me but I can deal with that , I know if I gave someone that second chance and it happened again it would eat me up .
So genuinely one of those times when its you, not them. It's good to have that awareness."
Being honest it's a bit of both .. I defo have a hang up but it's one I can live with if I know it's for a reason and that's self preservation I don't forgive easily and that would be the hinderance first foot out of line and I'd be bringing it up .. I do believe if u choose to forgive someone, you have to let it go .. if not better to just cut them out and move on with life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you forgive someone who messed you around once if he apologised a while later or would you not bother? Does it matter if the sex was good?"
I dont have that problem as Normally have open relationships |
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"Would you forgive someone who messed you around once if he apologised a while later or would you not bother? Does it matter if the sex was good?"
Not exactly messed me around but I found out something, that when I asked about it they were honest. I was in two minds as to should I allow this to continue or call it quits....I allowed it to continue as they have given me no further reason to question stuff...so not nothing really to forgive but it certainly hasn't been forgotten x |
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I used to be a doormat in many ways when people would say awwww (bullshit excuse) happened and id say oh that’s awful… we can rearrange as i thought people on here were genuine in the main. Actually the reverse is true there are a significant minority of people who are great and you can make arrangements with some confidence but the majority are a bunch of timewasting /fake profile/ghosting needy bell ends has been my experience of late… forumites in the main are in the good bunch …. They seem to be more genuine all round and thats to their credit. |
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"Would you forgive someone who messed you around once if he apologised a while later or would you not bother? Does it matter if the sex was good?
I dont have that problem as Normally have open relationships"
Do open relationships preclude you from being messed about? That does surprise me. I'm into ENM. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I'm very forgiving. Too much so where some people are concerned. It's a choice though and some highs are worth an inevitable low "
I think I am too. Is it because we’ve had in a previous life?
I’d rather have extremes of high and low than mediocrity anyway |
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Being happy in life is a consequence of fate treating us better than we deserve. Therefore, always try to treat other people better than *they* deserve -- you'll get burned, but rather that than erring by being too just, righteous and unforgiving.
Basically I'm recommending the Ted Lasso approach to life. Not that you need to overdo it; there's no need to treat them *that* much better than they deserve. Only a little.
Agree with other opinions that good sex might count for a little, actually feeling warm toward them counts for more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm very forgiving. Too much so where some people are concerned. It's a choice though and some highs are worth an inevitable low
I think I am too. Is it because we’ve had in a previous life?
I’d rather have extremes of high and low than mediocrity anyway"
I agree with this. I think there's definitely something in past lives too. |
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I think it would depend if I thought the reason was valid.
My time is very precious and I don't give it easily, if I thought someone was wasting it I wouldn't be impressed however I do accept there's valid reasons people can let you down, things happen that can't be helped.
Mrs |
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"Would you forgive someone who messed you around once if he apologised a while later or would you not bother? Does it matter if the sex was good?"
No, I would block them. I have no patience for my time being wasted.
If they did it then they will do it again. People are nothing if not predictable, their past behaviour is a very strong indication of their future behaviour. |
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